VERSE
I can't slide it sideways
Or jab it in
I can't pinch it open
Can't flip the lid
I can't flick it away
It's a bit of a pain
I can't turn it off
I can't punch it on
I can't bop it open
Can't squeeze it shut
I can't spin around
I can't hammer down
But I'm calm now

CHORUS
Cause I'm sittin' with a tub in plastic wrap
And soakin' up time I can't get back
Everybody else is pickles! (YEAH!)
Everybody else is pickles! (YEAH!)
I'm sittin' with a tub in plastic wrap
I've practiced that, it ain't half bad
Sometimes I have to face the facts
That everybody else
Everybody else is

VERSE
I can't grip the lid
I can't twist the lid
I can't smash the lid
Because I'll smash the glass
And if I smash the glass
The glass laughs last (HA HA HAAAA)
And why laugh last
When you can laugh least
Unless of course, the lease on laughs has passed
I must grip the lid
I must twist the lid
Like Chris did!

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE
Pickles (YEAH!)
Floating in a jar
That's how it ends
But sometimes I wish that's how it started
Ends are difficult to tie to means, I mean, not to be mean
Am I insecure?
I choose vinegar

OUTRO
I'm sittin' with a tub in plastic wrap

Sittin' with a tub in plastic wrap (everybody else is pickles)

VERSE
She places letters on shelves
Like clothes on a strip
All jumbled up, and replaces them quick
She's fine fine fine fine
She needs to take a coarse
I'm not sure if she's listening
Or thickening
Or in the moment - a dangerous sport
But it's her favorite form
And she's stuck aboard

PRE-CHORUS
We're sealed in a gummy spaceship
That has enough calories for seventeen years and
We'll be fine fine fine fine fine
'Til the smoke clears

CHORUS
The earth blew up
And my robot cheats at hangman
I can't find the words
I can't find the words
Letters shift and
I don't stand a dang chance
Twisted in a blur
A decomposing structure

VERSE
I'm ripping lunch from the walls
While I'm placing a vowel
Apparently E just replaces the OW
Well that's fine fine fine fine fine
At least I know it now
I'm not sure if it's English or
The order's off
While my score pays an enormous cost
Spit my glucose broth
On a metal cloth
 
(PRE-CHORUS)

(CHORUS)
But I can't play without her

SOLOTHING

The earth blew up and my robot cheats at hangman

From the wikisong vault circa 2011. These lines were sourced from Wikipedia.

Lyrics:
VERSE
I never saw it coming.
She could walk on water in her shoes.
I held her arms, but she got loose.
Guess I've a lot of learning to do.

CHORUS
But you pay for your dreams.

VERSE
I was the one who rewrote this.
I was the one who climbed up and got in."
I ran it like a business. 
I didn't care if we crashed; I went for it.

CHORUS
But you pay for your dreams.

BRIDGE
Isn't there enough in life to make you miserable?
Control of this disease is difficult.
(How did you wake up?)

VERSE
It is the human condition.
I thought I was one of the good ones.
I had bigger ambitions."
They came, They saw, They passed out.

BRIDGE
Why can't we just get false information out of the way?
This was the best I could get this day.
(How did you wake up?)

But you pay for your dreams

Assembled from lines of public-domain books.

Lyrics:
"Say, can you keep a secret, Mrs. Welcome?"
I tell you that you are.
I TELL YOU YOU ARE.

You're welcome, very welcome.
I thank you for your welcome.
Then you are very welcome.
Welcome indeed.

Welcome--thrice welcome!

Here, I'll get you some cookies!
They're so fresh and woodsy.
It's the party.
Third party.]
Could be.
Phew, can't you smell 'em?
I could weep

No! No! Don't hurt it!
The offer was rejected.
Your wish shall be respected, _

My greetings to you.
How good it is to have you.
It's bad to be lost.
Here's another bathroom.
This is where you--you--(pause)

Where you trapped.
Where you live?
Where you hurt?
Where you pleased!
Where the jelly jolly, jelly jolly jam-pots grow.

You are welcome here.
Please make yourself at home
You are very, very welcome.
Your shoes are soaked.

No, no, this is not good-bye.
Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
No, no, this is not good-bye.
Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

No, I cannot say good-bye yet.
Wait until I've finished.
"Now I'm ready," I said.
O.K. You're the boss.

We will say good-bye here.
A last good-bye! farewell!
"Good-bye! and good-bye! and good-bye!"
What could I send you that you would like?

Welcome indeed

Assembled from lines of public-domain books.

Lyrics:
You can fail.
Keep trying until you do.
I made one big mistake.
I have brought Sandy to you.

What had happened to Sandy?
She won't speak to me.
She won't do anything.
"I can feel her breathe."
"That's something I don't fancy."
I'd rather go to sea.
Soaking wet, and nothing to eat.

You cannot escape.
Run! Run, or you'll freeze!
you are cold,--your hands, your face!
I chill coll thee, chill cuss thee.

What had happened to Sandy?
While she cleaned, she talked.
Then the door was locked.
If I stay here I can't sleep.
Never mind the heat!
I was bothered with bugs the other night

You can fail.
I can, I will help you.
There are so many bugs.
They will help a lot.

Bugs will be hunted with bugs.
Some insects fell at once into the cloth.
I do think they are the cutest little bugs.
They have broken into your house.
Do give them a chance.
I dare say they will get on well enough.

What had happened to Sandy?

Lyrics:

I like to bring people together
Even if that means ripping them apart from other people
'Cause they didn't deserve them anyway
I’m a people person and I bring the people people people together
At all costs

People are like stickers
They have two sides and some sides are stickier than other sides
And I take the stickers
And stick them onto other stickers until they're stuck forever

Some people say I'm a scientist
One other person says "10 to 20 years with good behavior"

But I'm a people people people people person
I'm a people people people people person
I like ripping people away from people
And stickin' em on other people
Like stickers

And sometimes you don't need to stick stickers to stickers
You can find other things like papers, and bumpers, and cloth
But sometimes the stickiness wears off

I'm a people people people people person
I'm a people people people people … people person
I like ripping people away from people
And stickin' em on other people
When legal


People People People People Person

All of these lines are e-mail subjects from actual promo mail that actual large well-known USA companies have actually sent me. They are all actually actual, actualized into a song.

Features Nicolas Bonneyrat (from Paris, France) on drums.

Lyrics:
We've got a secret …
Can you keep a secret?
We dare you to miss out: Your sneak peek is here.
✱ OMG (What?!) You definitely earned this: Open now for your ONLINE-ONLY DEALS
Full price? Not this time.
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Haven’t Used Your 15% Off Coupon Yet? 
You can't miss out on 20% off! Not kidding!

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It's time to tear it up



Open To Get Lucky

Lyrics:

VERSE
Started out as a hairline
But it grew until it split
Thought my shelter was all airtight
'Til the drywall laid a brick
It came and it saw
And it dropped me a bomb
And it’s showing no calm or closure

CHORUS
But I’ll wipe it again
Every rear ends
The crack in the wall where the poop comes from. (X2)
But I’ll wipe it again
Every rear ends
The crack in the wall where the poop comes from. (X2)
I don't know what normal's supposed to smell like

VERSE
Well I built me a poop man
And I think I'll call him Steve
Hit the fan, and the backsplash
Grew a fecal family
It's filling this house
And I can't flush it out
Got a date
With Meatloaf's daughter

(repeat chorus with ambience)
(repeat chorus)

Crack in the Wall (Where the Poop Comes From)

VERSE
I grew until they picked me apart
Combed with a rake, they stripped and discarded
I saw it coming, got a glimpse from the start
But it's not like I could argue

Brought to heat and it made scents,
Aroma-ing free with a bitter freshness.
Got off the bench and I embraced the craft.
It was a means to an end, now I'm done with that.

CHORUS
Take me to the cold air,
Somewhere I can rest.
Stirred in circles,
The cause and the effect.
And I'm dried up.
And I'm burnt out.
And I'm ground down.
Oh the coffee is stronger than me.

VERSE
Blend in the city, keep your nose clean.
I'm hitting some notes, just not the ones I thought I would be.
I milked my chance, and steeped in to concentrate.
But you are what you leave when you walk away.

You said settling is natural, and I should shake well.
It's not that I'm above that, It's just that I'm tall.
But I suppressed the winey, the sour, the brash.
And it all came out flat, now I'm done with that.

<REPEAT CHORUS>

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