Have yourself a shitty fucking Christmas
With your dreams so trite
You consume whatever comes your way
With a fool's delight.

Have yourself a fucking shitty Christmas
With your trees so dead
Presents made by people that you don't care about.

'Cos it's only fucking Christmas.

Adapted from the original by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane.

SFXmas - Crayola Lectern

Psychedelic space rock recorded in Canterbury 2011.
Mix by Josh Fletcher

Trip in D - Crayola Lectern

This track was mixed a couple of weeks ago for the upcoming second Crayola Lectern album. It is the centrepiece of the album like Trip In 'D' was for the first.
I'd been in touch with Robin Williams' fan club asking about how to get a copy to him for his approval and had received a reply. Then, a few days later came the awful news of his demise.
 Ironically, this song is very much a celebration of the magic spark that ignites the spirit and gives life; it even charts a life, starting at the crib and ending with old age. Robin Williams, to me, always had a unique way about him which cut through to the essence of humanity and my 'Mork' was just an attempt to use his character to make that representation, in a way which celebrates our existence on this planet.

Crayola Lectern - piano, vocals
Jon Poole - keyboards, timpani
Alistair Strachan - cornet
Bic Hayes - electric guitar
Bob Leith - drums

Rest in peace, Robin Williams


Mork - Crayola Lectern

Live cover of Cardiacs tune performed on 17/06/11 at Komedia by Crayola Lectern (Chris Anderson and Jon Poole) with guest William D. Drake
 Written by Tim Smith

To Go Off And Things

Sneaky and short-lived glimpse of a track off the next Crayola Lectern album:

Giant Moon Up In the Sky

Sing choirs of angels
In ignorance of Ponzo's great illusion
Giant moon up in the sky
Connect me with my child
Giant moon up in the sky
Though she's so far away
Not that 90,000 miles is too far
For a cow to reach in a bound
So I'll see you there

Giant Moon Up In The Sky

You never lose it all 
While fire inside you burns
And love lies in your heart
As life's book pages turn

You never lose it all
When love lies in your heart
And fire inside you burns

Hold on, hold on
Hold on you little fighter
Hold on, hold on
Hold on a little tighter

When feelings have all gone
It's like a holiday
But one without the sunshine
(to burn death's dreams away)

The dreamers have all gone
The dreamons have all gone
The demons have all gone
You're safe

The dreamers
The dreamers
The dreamers

The Dreamers

Home recording. Make poverty history.

Just wanna live a bit more
Just wanna live a bit more
Why can't we give a little more
Just wanna live a little


Just Wanna Live A Bit More - Crayola Lectern

This song will be the initial single which heralds the release of the album The Fall And Rise Of... out on April 15th on Bleeding heart recordings:

Slow down
You move too fast
Running all around just like
You’ve got a rocket up your arse
And you’re not going to be the star of my show
Oh no
Slow Down
You drive too fast
You can’t see the little children
Behind parked cars that you pass
And you’re not going to be the king of the road
Oh no
Cos dreams they explode
When you’re living with a heavy load
Slow down, slow down
I see your career has taken off
And the quality’s not what it was
Slow down some time
Slow down
You move too fast
Running all around just like
You’ve got a rocket up your arse
And you’re not going to be the star of my show
Cos stars they explode
I guess this comes as quite a blow


Slow Down - Crayola Lectern

Track off the forthcoming album The Fall And Rise Of...

Crayola Lectern - piano, voice, saxophone, casio, cz101
Random Jon Poole - casiotron, subotron
Alistair Strachan - cornet
Bic Hayes - electric guitar
Bob Leith - drums


I just forgot my big idea
It was great, I'd hesitate to say
The best one I've had for years
I just forgot my big idea
Now it's dust and I must
Try to make it reappear
I just forgot the meaning of life
It was there in my hands

I Forgot My Big Idea - Crayola Lectern

Some of these here tunes on this Soundcloud aren't necessarily "typical" of Crayola Lectern's oeuvre, but recent additions do include some of the more approved "proper" recordings. I'll leave you to decide which are improvisations, hastily recorded home demos or opportunistic moments which happen to have been captured in studios. The quality control on this site is not indicative of the more anal approach to making the killer records that you will come to love from Crayola Lectern. 

Crayola Lectern

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