untitled song 9

untitled song 10

untitled song 11

under the white walls /
now black against the night
all but the 2 inch crack of light
through where the flashlight
takes a blind picture of me

this place smells like memory /
the open richness of florida
the orange condo on the river
freshly bleached tile floors
a dinner table set for seven

there’s a league of guards /
saying no and saying no and
saying to always say please

and i remember florida
where half my blood drains
i bring protest here 
i am not the “problem behavior”

problem behavior

i feel it first in my hands
like bulbs of fire
then to the rest of me
it flows like water
one particle at a time
infinite per minute

it’s the tight squeeze
of a forever lover
like hugging everything
there ever was and
could ever become
and it hugging back

from my curled toes
and nearing my third eye
i can suddenly feel light
and see through colors
i’ve never seen before
like tasting the wind

tasting the wind

here’s a long one for the road
since our touch has been lost
here’s to all i wish you were
and to all i wish you were not
here’s to my failed lovers
and my freight train of thought
i sure thought
i envisioned us in the desert
wrapped in our wet clothes
like there at the poolside
wrapped in our wet clothes
better us be across the sea
in some place we don’t know
our new home
but i found us on a chair
caught in a time lapsed move
you were down there for hours
and i was bent into grooves
in the still of the dark
with the moon in the pool
hallow like ghouls
it was like when time stops
and the seconds shoot through
i left so sore, beat, and tired
with spots of purple and blue
i didn’t wonder what she’d think
should our tongues slip the truth
i’m only there with you
take me as a mail order bride
call ahead and ask for the devil
give 25 business days, give a soul
i slept so many nights on the sea
then at your doorstep
i arrive under a black veil
you own me with kisses
like you knew i’d be coming
you’ll mark me with bruises
just as if you had bought me

mail order bride

im so sick
of hearing the
cars passing through
wet pavement
away from my window

i hear the outside
filtered through
5 inches of screen
this is the most my window
will open

fighting with the vastness
on the other side
is…a buzzing, fuzzy radio

fighting with the vastness
on the other side
is…a humming
stream of thought

in flux

(i'm so sick)
of hearing you say 
things i dont wanna hear
stop talking
i dont wanna be here


sleep

avalanche

For Joe.

joe told me he had it all figured out
if he could just find a way to tell his girlfriend
that all he ever wanted was just to get out
and find a world beyond his bed
he said he was chasing something
and that he'd die on the tracks trying to find it

i hate to think i'll die like my friends
my wasted days are ones they could be living
i hate to think we could all end up like them
'cause after they're gone there's no point in forgiving 
/ 'cause after they're gone it's so hard to keep forgiving

every day seems the same 
so i stay inside my brain
parts of me just drift away
i hope that i dont die this way
 / oh please god dont die this way 

joe said he was chasing something
and that he'd die on the tracks trying to find it
well i think i taste that something
but my friend's not around to try it
he found something else
on a night i'm sure he was so alone
stuck it into his mouth
just like so many times he had done before
just trying to lose himself
but this time he lost so much more

when you finally opened your eyes
and we all felt your finger reach for something
our hope awakened with your mind
you know we can't stand to lose another lucky find

Lucky Find

seashells - improv session ft. theia

made to sound bad & feel good



listen with headphones if you care enough

made with: shitty laptop mic, acoustic guitar, audacity, improvised vocals, recycled poems, lots of weed and several empty mornings

enjoy

- neely 

crier crier