$tyx created the album "REHAB RELAP$E" over the course of a year and a half. It documents his experiences and emotions during active addiction, in the psych ward and rehab, overdoses, and his journey rebuilding himself afterward.

REHAB RELAP$E

Lyrics:

$lim $UICIDE, ready to die

[Verse 1: $lim $UICIDE]
I bow down at the Reaper's altar
Plead for my past to be altered
See my delusions, my mask faltered
Now know why I often fall for
All the lights and all the lies
Shone at me in darkest times
All the times I nearly died
I tend to fall for them at night
All my ride-or-dies switched up like Knight
No one by my side, I stay supplied
Never seein’ droughts, can't run me dry
Always find me on the 9, I'll die while high
Settle for a line to save a dime
Run a cabinet dry and it ain't mine
Poppin’ stolen hydro 7.5s
Wash a couple and some Xans down with ₩HITE ₩INE

[Verse 2: $lim $UICIDE]
Reliving trauma all over again
Tryna feel like when I smoked with my friends
But I just sit in silence and try to pretend
As I fight the urge to let my body suspend
All of the hate that I got tryna mend
Has now fractured my will and I've stopped my defense
All of the bastards who acted a friend
And then switched up on me, I will have my revenge

[Verse 3: $lim $UICIDE]
Pour up a soda and drown it with lean
Know I'm poppin’ them pills like I got a routine
When I run outta drugs I become a machine
I'm a mad scientist with a high to achieve
It has been my ambition since I took that drink
Sitting at my dad's bar when I was just 13
Started with alcohol and then soon nicotine
Now I'm tryna stay off of the pills and codeine

[Verse 4: $lim $UICIDE]
Passed out on the hardwood
Man, I think I'm barely breathin’
Popped another Percocet
Another 20 and I'm reachin’
Got a war zone in my mind
I pop a round into the demons
But the demons in my brain
And I don't think they gon’ be leavin’
So I pack another bowl
And I can see my stash decreasin’
Know I'm tryna go up higher
So my high keeps on increasin’
But the people say there's hope
But I just ain't fuckin’ believin’
So I'll waste myself away
Until you find me dead, ODin’

[Verse 5: $lim $UICIDE]
When I kick the step ladder
It's a closed chapter
When I'm seein’ brass, scatter
Know I'm so plastered
Even though I'm so battered,
Talk to no pastor
Even though the mass gathered
I got no master
You can see my heart tattered
And my skull shatter
You can see my brains splatter
Quiet, no chatter
Fuckers said I joke, after
There is no laughter
All I know is I'm matter
But I don't matter

$uicide$eal

₩HITE ₩INE

₩HITE ₩INE (prod. Twins, JDManila, Kimpe)

Lyrics:

LØW KING

Meet me…
Meet me…
Meet me…
Meet me…

Meet me where the lights don't shine and the road is dirt
Let's go get high, trust that it won't hurt
For one last time I'll smoke some dope
Before I hang up, not the phone
Tied to a tree and 'round my neck
I'm once again the living dead
Not no H and not no meth
But I had fun with pills and tech
Hit the highway, hit the gas
I'm turnin' wheels, don't know how fast
I feel the vibe and hope it lasts
I miss old days but not my past
Fuckin' poppin' pills for thrills
Don't overdose 'cause they will kill
Smoke a bowl and feel less real
Walk in and find my body still

$lit wrists
Cold heart
$lit THRØAT
All dark
No lights
In bed
No fight
I’m dead
$lit wrists
Cold heart
$lit THRØAT
All dark
No lights
In bed
No fight
I’m dead

I'm LØW KING ØF THE DARK
Turn my thoughts into art
Know in my heart of hearts
That I'll die in the dark
All alone with no home
Put a slug in my dome
Not no one hits my phone
All my willpower honed
To just pull the trigger
Cause I'm fallin' deeper
So I tell 'em "figure
Me dead with the reaper"
My fame will grow bigger
They call me a dreamer
LIQUØR in my liver
I'm smokin' some reefer
Cravings for Percocets
I'll never get a rest
Live in a hornet's nest
I'm treated like a pest
Aim for the very best
I'll die fighting to the top
Locked in the DM West
Fuck it, I might just stop
Trying and trying
To hold on some longer
But I can't escape
My mother and father
Abuse is my history
Life full of misery
Stuck in my memories
Now I've got an injury

Poppin’ some VICØDIN
I’m gettin’ high with friends
Hop in the ride again
Goin’ like 96
Runnin’ from 12
Toss the dope out the window
I’m hung from a belt
Don’t you dare call me “kiddo”
They tell me I’m lyin’
When I talk ‘bout dyin’
Gettin’ so high, damn
When I say I’m flyin’
Just know I ain’t cappin’
Might go back to trappin’
I’m puttin’ a cap in
My skull, it’s a wrap, man
Since my first drink I became a dead man
Poppin’ a pill, got a knife in my left hand
Slammin’ some more drugs, straight to the head, damn
When you find me gone you’ll know that I bled, ran
Away from my past and away from the drugs
$uicide reppin’, I’m grippin’ the gun
Fuckin’ depression, the drugs ain’t no fun
I’m poppin’ these pills ‘cause my mind’s on the run
Die on 431
Die on 431
Die on 431
431
431
431
431
431…

$uicide$eal

431 (prod. Twins, Hicap, Jxcques)

Lyrics:

Crossin' the $tyx

My entire family disowned me. I have no true connections anymore.
Everyone I’ve EVER opened up to has betrayed me!
They said I’m FAKING it! That my life is a “WASTE” of their money!
THEY SAID I SHOULD’VE GONE TO THE WOODS SO NO ONE WOULD HAVE TO SEE MY BODY!
I was forced to sleep OUTSIDE, ON THE GROUND!
They DRUGGED me up and then TOOK IT ALL AWAY!
They attacked ME and said that I was the threat!
And they wonder why I hate them.
FUCKING! ASSHOLES!

Can't say I never did wrong
Can't say I never did long
Can't say I never got hung
Can't say I never popped nun
Can't say I never dreamed of blowin' my head open
Can't say I never tied a rope and coped with dopin'
Like Icarus 'cause I'll fly high
Fly so high I fall and die
Betrayed by my ride-or-dies
Deceived, just one by my side
Feel the pain of all my sins
Reap what I sowed: consequence
Feel the urge for violence
Hear the ring of violins

It used to be that I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.
I wouldn't actually kill myself because I was scared of the pain.
Now I just want it to end and I don't care how.
I don't even know why I'm still alive.
There's no reason for me to live.
My mother says that the family would be “so distraught” over my death.
Well FUCK THEM!
IF ALL I DO IS HURT THEM, WHY SHOULD THEY CARE?!
IF I KILL MYSELF, THEN I WON'T HURT THEM OR MYSELF ANYMORE!
Just let it end.

To the music I commit
To no one I shall submit
Hear the sound that I emit
Deep anger from my larynx
Bitches be demented
Drivin' me to go hysteric
Better be repented
Yo ass nothin' but generic
I sat with my anger
Jotted it down on some paper
Tryna mend my heart
Before I decide to depart
I was utterly mistaken
Eyes were opened, mind awakened
When she told me that he name is
Not my anger but my anguish

Lie to you but not to me
The hole inside is sinking deep
Our story is a tragedy
But it provokes delicacy
I take a hit of nicotine
And pour my heart into the beat
Past full of wounds and deceit
Call bullshit, I got receipts
Stuck in a psych ward
My feelings deplored
Inside, my mind roared
Doctors I implored
Grief is our love's souvenir
Proof of what we once held dear
Don't look back or shed a tear
Look back, see torment's frontier
Desperation addict
Yeah, my loneliness is static (passive)
Emotions erratic
Calm it down with aromatic (plastered)
Abuse systematic
My disorder is traumatic (disastrous)
Swear I ain't dramatic
That's why my bars are emphatic (catch up)
Once as soft as water
'Till I bid on my own slaughter (offer)
Drugged up by some doctors
Writin' scripts to cop a dollar (robbers)
Now as hard and cold as ice
Recognize I paid the price
For attempt to excise my life
My advice is to think twice

Nothing feels real.
Not a single person.
Not a single object or sound or sight or texture or anything at all.
Except for pain.
It's the only thing that feels real.
I used to feel like I was connected with my body and I was the only real thing.
But now it's worse.
It's become depersonalization, and it's scary.
I'm disconnected from everything, even my body.
I don't control my actions.
It's like someone else is controlling me, even writing this.
I'm nothing but an observer.
I can see what my body sees, I can hear what it hears.
I can feel its sensations and I can taste and smell what it does.
But it doesn’t feel real.
The only thing I feel is pain.

Anger Is A Facade

Anger Is A Facade (prod. Twins, LoneGud)

Lyrics:

[Intro: GHØ$TFACE & $uicide$eal]
That’s all I ever feel like. What have I done to deserve to feel this way?

I get it. That's been me all my life.

I just won’t ever understand. Why do good people get treated the shittiest?

LØW KING

Yep. Recently I've cut everyone I can out of my life because of it. People are cruel and I've come to realize that I'm better off by myself with a couple people by my side. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to be in a relationship because of how my trust has been violated and I'm coming to accept that.

[Verse 1: LØW KING]
Let the beat drop
Slammin' three shots
Feel the heat drop
$eventeen shots
To the crown, drop
To the ground, cops
All around, pop
$eventeen pills, stop
My heart beat
Frozen over
No heat
Just icy
Was a prodigy
Now I burn bridges
Cut ties, go NC
To the relatives, got no family
Nothin' hand to me
Don't trust randomly
Tired, can't sleep
Now it's 3:17
Stuck in my skull
Now I see the Sun creep
Over the hills
Now it's Sunrise
Now I pass out
'Till the Sun dies
I live in the night
Where nobody can find
Where my pulse will decline
And dark blankets my eyes
$ilence blankets my mind
Just the chatter inside
ADD, gotta fight
Now the drugs got me right
But my wallet is tight

[Break: GHØ$TFACE & $uicide$eal]
I wish I could accept it but my heart always has that "but what if..." anytime I see even a sliver of good in a person

Yeah I was the same way. I excused people's shittiness toward me that way. It broke me and now I'll never be the same. Someone I considered a brother started spreading rumors that I'm a fucking predator. So yeah, never gonna recover from that. I despise people. I know it's not the healthiest choice mentally, but it's gonna save me a lot of pain and suffering when others switch up on me like that.

[Verse 2: LØW KING]
Grab a whetstone
Sharpen a steel blade
Hold it to my throat
Feelin' the skin break
Piercin' to the bone
Now I'll cross the River $tyx
Steppin' off my throne
Fallin' into detriment
Disowned, unknown
Cover dope with cologne
My mind enclosed
Behind darkness and dro
My light has shone
Blown out by a cyclone
So I'll light a cone
Draw, sorrow postponed
Only got a couple
By my side, it's still a struggle
Fuck up, we rebuttal
Rollin' subtle, dose is double
Leave a trail of rubble
Gonna have to get a shovel
Conscience starts to buckle
Now I gotta face the muzzle
Long to get shot
If I can't, I pop
Keep the gun hot
Ready for heart stop
Say we got ties
But it's a $lipknot
Bleed me nonstop
'Till the day I drop

[Outro: GHØ$TFACE]
I don't think it's unhealthy. It's self preservation. Especially with the people that we call "friends" nowadays. I'm glad I met the few people that I do trust with my life but I'm too wary of new people…

$uicide$eal

3:17 A.M.

3:17 A.M. Feat. GHØ$TFACE (prod. Twins, Mors)

Lyrics:

LØW KING

[Verse 1: $eal]
Back in 2019
I took my first drink
It forever changed me
Changed my chemistry
Then I hit nicotine
And start smokin' weed
Moved to poppin' pills and sippin' lean
Then I went broke
Robitussin I chose
Poppin', sippin' so much I overdosed
Locked in a psych ward
They called me insane
Walk a tightrope
Put bullets in my brain
Cravings for pills and some more for the dro
There is a reason they call me KING ØF THE LØW
Sometimes wanna binge 'till I overdose
Drop down dead from addiction to dope
I'll climb the ladder or brains will splatter
Though I'd rather not choose the latter
Drive for success and wish for the best
Until then I'll never rest
Fuck 12, put me on probation
Who else wanna ruin relations?
Fuck you for givin’ me that drink
Now I can’t do nothin’ but think
About how it’d be in sobriety
Fuck rehab, did nothin’ for me
But kick me out and send me home
To abuse and fake damn lean

[Verse 2: $eal]
You don’t want me in your home (your home)
You treat me like I ain’t your own (your own)
But you still want full control (control)
You just can’t leave me alone (alone)
I just wanna see my brother (brother)
Don’t you dare call yourself my father (father)
Don’t you dare call yourself my mother (mother)
‘Cause of you I had to call a lawyer (lawyer)
Family ain’t blood so you’ll see mine spilt
Holdin’ a gun while I write my will
Everything I write is fuckin’ real
All of these bars got a story to tell
I don't give a fuck about what they say
They say they hate 'till they see me hanged
Then "oh, no, it's a tragedy
He was too young, just seventeen"
I might be rappin'
But nah, I ain't trappin'
And I ain't poppin' them pills 'till I'm tappin'
But I'll tap a dab pen
And I'll smoke that gas, man
'Till I'm fadin' into the bliss of the blackness
The blackness of sleep or the blackness of death
I'm tryna to escape hellish consciousness
Until I breathe in my last conscious breath
It’ll be filled with smoke, I’ll be high for my death

$uicide$eal

2019

2019 (prod. Twins)

Lyrics:

LØW KING

Mama don’t cry when I go die
Gettin’ so high, it’s a dope night
Got a .45, got on no lights
Blackness ‘round me I got no life
I got no time, tick tock, my clock says past nine
When I write down my thoughts to save my life
Vicodin, codeine, with no drugs life is boring
So I sip lean and smoke green ‘till my thoughts escape me
‘Cause I’m so high I forget life for some more time
Gotta get some more dimes for the dope price
All these Percocets, never get a rest
Pop some pills so that I decompress
Spit some bars so that I can express
My emotions, I am floatin’
Off the pills and the high from the hype from the crowd
Never been this loud until now
Mothafuckas hatin’ so I’ll be late and rollin’ with Satan
LK ‘till the grave, man
Depression, PTSD (PTSD)
Addiction, anxiety (anxiety)
Medication, livin’ on these (livin' on these)
This sensation of spittin’ out heat (out heat)
I know it can never leave me (leave me)
Or I’ll be under, $ix Feet Deep (Feet deep)

I worship the Reaper ‘cause I’m fallin’ deeper
Let Death be kinder than man (than man)
So calm but not off of no Xans (no Xans)
Nobody sayin’ I can (I can)
Except my boys that I’ll roll with ‘till the coffin
All the feelings got fuckin’ locked in
When I cracked open a can or a $eal of some purple
All the emotions internal but make ‘em external
I’ll burn in infernal and make it eternal
But call me the Colonel of Purple (of Purple)
‘Cause I’m sippin’ and spittin’ and $littin’ my wrists and
I’m dyin’ while high, man
I’m lyin’ and cryin’ ‘bout what I never had
Just wanted a dad
But I got a captor
My pain gives him laughter
So high I'm on $aturn
My body is battered
From the $uicide attempts
Fuckin' $littin' my wrists
While I'm sippin' dex shit
And I'm hittin' a spliff
I think I found this key
Its name is whiskey
My actions are risky
When I'm gone you'll miss me
So you better not diss me
Mom won't even kiss me
My family is waring
I prefer life boring
Now my blood is pouring
So I'll tell my story
Through bars in my music
Not Xanax, won't use it
And I won't be shootin'
'Cause needles will ruin
My life and my body
Already a zombie
But I am still rocking
With everyone watching
But my damn anxious thoughts (anxious thoughts)
Made me hide under rocks (under rocks)
My damn feelings were lost (were lost)
When I downed fuckin' shots (fuckin' shots)
Chug vodka like water
Drop four fuckin' blotters
Dad won't even bother
Favorites his step-daughter
Over me and Christian
And he will not listen
Even though we $littin'
Won't care 'bout his children
When I embrace Death
'Cause it's motives are best
I will lay to rest but not in a bed
Loadin' a gun, time to go on a trek
Pull back the slide and let the round load
I’ll blow off my head and see where I will go
To Heaven or Hell, yeah, not a soul knows

$uicide$eal

MAMA DØN'T CRY

MAMA DØN'T CRY (prod. Twins, Mors)

Lyrics:

LØW KING

[Intro: $uicide$eal]
You fucking piece of shit!
You liar!
You falsely accused me of assault and domestic violence so YOU wouldn't get in trouble for YOUR abuse!
You forced me to live in a fucking TENT! (CRCL, CRCL, CRCL, CRCL…)
You lied to EVERYONE who was close to me and cut me off from my brother!
You deny my mental health and laugh in my face when I try to kill myself!
You're not my parents. You're fucking DEAD TO ME!

[Verse 1: CCC King]
Sippin' lean so I don't feel a thing
My mental illness got me fuckin' hanged
My emotions got my wrist$ fuckin' shanked
My life ended on last December 8th
When I got locked up in the ward
My whole family went to war
Didn't even have a damn door
I was sleepin' on the stone floor
Smokin' stolen cigarettes
Poppin' off brand Percocets
Downin' bottled velvet reds
Velvet reds…
Velvet reds…
Velvet reds…

[Verse 2: $uicide$eal]
Fuckin' corruption put me on probation
Fuck Robitussin, 'bout gave me a grave and
It gave me a bed on the cold concrete
But during the spring it was Dixieland heat
And the school hated my music, they stopped me from writin'
So I kept on usin' 'till I almost died in their parkin' lot while surrounded by cops
My knees were buckled, I swore they just locked
My mind was lost and my bladder was blocked
Barely remember the needles and shots
Eight days in a room wearin' blue paper clothes
When I got out I was moved out of my home
They told me I could go live on the streets
But when I did they called the damn police
They forced me to sleep on the cold concrete
Kicked out my home only let in to eat
Only let in to eat…
Let in to eat…
Let in to eat…
Let in to eat…

$uicide$eal

December 8th

December 8th (prod. CRCL)

Lyrics:

Crossin’ the $tyx

[Verse 1: CCC King]
ALCØHØLI$M,
It feels like a prison
But it runs in the family
So I let it slam me
So drunk that I can’t see,
VØDKA tastes like candy
So drunk and I’m dandy,
Forget ‘bout my family
I think that I’m leavin’ this world
When I lay down and twirl
I think I’ma hurl
Then I dream ‘bout a girl
Wake up in a curl,
My head’s in a swirl
I got so much dirt,
If exposed I leave Earth
‘Cause I can’t stop the drugs
Or the thoughts of the guns
$uicide$eal with the lead in his head
Daydreamin’ my death while I lie on my bed
Screamin’ in my head
‘Cause I can’t yet wind up dead
And I always burn my bridges
‘Cause I don't fuck with religions
People talkin' all this shit
So I'm sayin’ fuck them bitches
$lit their wrists, shit
Watch ‘em finish
Life diminished

[Verse 2: CCC King]
I drink to get drunk
So I shoot, don’t throw up
I drink my concoction
‘Till the feelings are locked in
I drink to forget ‘cause I can’t yet forgive
I drink ‘till I spit ‘cause I’m tired of it
The PTSD just won’t let me sleep
Visions of hitting
Mixed up with my drunk dreams
And I can recall
The worst of them all
When I thought I’d die
So I screamed and I cried
Then I snapped up,
Heart racin’, lungs pacin’
See his face and feel it weigh in
Kill myself with the pills or the belt
I’m done here, won’t live in fear

ALCØHØLI$M

ALCØHØLI$M (prod. Dynasty)

$yrup OUT NOW!!!

Don't think that I'm cappin, done shit you can't fathom. I went thru addiction and came out the back end.