this is not a post thats meant to be read in the short term really, just a notice. maybe it is a bit dramatic against my wishes. takeaways: music production makes my brain spark hate and despair. not going to touch it for a long while until theres something that can make it feel worth it.

i hope you are ok, i am not upset with you.

"muck" (a song for kate)

if anyones been curious where ive been and you dont follow my twitter ive lost the motivation to make chiptune, if you were following me for that. 
i launched this account when i was 16 as my first attempt at keeping any sort of social media, as well as to share what i was doing with a small group of school friends and family as well as whoever may come. i met people i idolized within chiptune when i joined twitter a year later. i never joined battle of the bits, and i never collabed or traded tips with anyone i knew from there or twitter. i isolated myself from my few friends in real life and i did the same online, when it came to matters beyond posting, matters where we would have to help each other, even in small ways. as i left high school and stopped taking regular music education i grew immensely insecure and deleted anything as soon as it left the audience i expected it to reach. ive lost contact with most of those friends and idols now out of disagreements in vision or interpersonal politics, and i dont suspect either of us will seek contact with one another in the future. there is simply no reason to. it contributes nothing to either party
i dont intend to be dramatic for the sake of a stunt, if such a thing can be said to have truly happened before. i am not deleting anything that is already up, and nothing will really change on this page. none of the people alluded to here have done anything to offend me more than what ive done to myself. i just wish to express that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way i treat work and production, and i want you to engage with whatever else i have to say about it knowing that. i wish i knew how to take myself seriously. i wish someone could help me understand
i am still continuing to arrange songs for trombone privately, and very infrequently. maybe i will trust myself enough to make something else later for you
song is "utopia-byzetsu" from yume 2kki, map "tan desert"

[desc]

Dear Nanachi

vocal works by https://soundcloud.com/think-chan

https://theworstlabel.bandcamp.com/album/the-worst-compilation-fourth-wave

The Worst Compilation: Fourth Wave

すてらべえ - You're so warm

https://faviconrecords.bandcamp.com/album/favicon-vol-1

Advanced Techniques for Spiritual Warfare

DL/buy(bandcamp)

deg w∧v chu doc ex+ended

Made for BOFXVI.
BMS: http://manbow.nothing.sh/event/event.cgi?action=More_def&num=251&event=133

Rin-Rin

てか、100おれせん？

Artwork : morph
BMS DL : http://manbow.nothing.sh/event/event.cgi?action=More_def&num=127&event=133

[desc]

twerp

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