figured its time to start doin the xmas thing , and spread cheer and goodwill. enjoy this

Fnoob Fm Full Session

yep, the winter months are here , and so its time to knock the bpm's up a notch or two so as to keep warm while doing the weekend warrior thing, so here's my new setup for the moment, its had a makeover , lost a few kilo's of equipment so no more nasty kicks in the privates by those over worked and underpaid baggage handlers : every musician's worst nightmare!! Massive respect goes out to the ASK centro sociale in Palermo, Sicily: its nice to see a squat that understands 100 percent what it is to create an art/rave space, with no moody lil hippies in the corner bringing it down for everybody. Also Kernel PaniK, had a TOP few days with you lot, AGAIN!! and of course my sister IXindamix, who was apparently pogo'ing all the way through this while it happened. ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Crystal Distortion - Reboot 014 - Palermo311213

so , heres some more, back to front, bit faster, and cut short because i did a very sillyu thing and set everything to record from the aux lines instead of the rec out which was used up by the web stream. ended up with half my set recorded with 69db practising and getting ready over the top. oh well, better luck next time i guess.....

Crystal Distortion Live In Valence 180114 Master

support the last bastion of alternative living, download this today

Funk The Punx X Dorf Dj Space Disco Secret Agent Mega Mix

some highly uncouth tekno from the north of france. turn it up or turn it off, i couldn't give a toss if you last 5 minutes or less:  and for the twat across the street, don't come complain without a solicitor and a decibel meter, i'm happy to hide behind traffic noise so don't give me all that its to loud and this isnt a factory or a workshop SHIT OK?!!!
LOOK AT THE PHOTO, THATS HOW LOUD IT IS OUT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD!!!  READ IT AND WEEP, GET A LIFE, and STOP COMPLAINING , YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, go GET a court order,and i'll have you for OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE YOU SAD LITTLE FUCK!!!!! this , for a pair of 200w monitors, at 10:30am on a thursday? i mean REALLY

U Wont Like This

sorry for the late upload, i actually misplaced the SD card it was on for weeks. anyway, hope u like....and share

live at fusion festival 2014

excited about the upcoming Spark 2 expansion pack? so am i. nearly ready now. enjoyed the last sneak preview of drum patterns? here's another. enjoy

Hardtektwelvesneakpreview

0007 WATCH YER BASSBINS

WATCH YER BASSBINS IM TELLIN YA. the long awaited and reason a lot of you got on my case , its HERE. the live recording of my set at a fantastic family reunion back in the UK, and what a night it was. so many old faces and a damn sight many new ones too. the vibe was fresh, relentless, and had just the right blend of past present and future musics. music aint over? NEVER!!!!

Crystal Distortion Live In Bristol 081114

secret agent, the live set version. enjoyyyyyyyyyyy

Agent51 Espionagiste Live Breakfest 2014

so , i finally got this one right, thanks to blastering cyril for his tutoring. i thought id have a go myself with ozone 6. anyway, its in wav. downloadable. someone please play it out in a party now, come on.

Crystal D - Fonkoff Ozone Version

what to say? if you weren't there, you should have been.

Live In Berlin 300515 - machines live set

the live set is getting acid morphed. here's some more......

Live in turin acid computer set 060615

Found this on a hard drive, thought i'd upload it here. Enjoy.

Crystal Distortion - Live Teaser 2023

Very excited about the upcoming Boom Town Fair festival. Here is a little snippet of the fun you could be having while there, on FREE download, i went looking for a whole bunch of people saying boom, and town. here is the sample list.

The Specials - Rudi
Futurama - Into the wild green yonder
The Fall - Can can summer
Vengaboys - Boom boom boom boom ( i want you in my room)
Kraftwerk - Boing boom tchak
Blackadder goes forth episode 6 - Baldrick's "The german guns"
Was not was - Walk the dinosaur

and by the way copyright lawyers, no money is being made here so just chill out and have a boogie for f**k's sake !!!

see you all there ...August 14/16th, UK

BoomTown Rat

Live at Concrete - 2/9/2016

well i'll say one thing about all this, over the years i've definitely played and recorded some of my best off the cuff party jams right here in czech republic, and this one is no exception.racing the clock ( sooo much traffic on the roads here these days), and against all odds - 69db and I set all our stuff up in front of a kicking 45kw eaw rig in a limited but cosy space a few metres away only to find the sound guy hadn't rigged up any DI boxes AND was using SPEAKER CABLES instead of mic ones, so had to relocate behind the sound system. Still, the monitors were pretty damn fat which more than made up for the initial balls up, and as this was a ninja in and out mission, we had the privilege of checking this set out in the car zipping along an empty pre dawn highway back to base.
anyway, lush as ye like 150bpm psychedelic techno, none of this trying to keep up with the latest trends bollocks - oh awlroight den , dere's a bit of a wobble ere n there but OI, leave it out tosh, etc etc etc - sticking to wot ahm good at anyhow. enjoy. do let us know if i got the levels right though, i tried some new rms normalize to allow headroom technique before whacking the shit out of it with a limiter or five after extensive forum browsing in those lonely bits post rave where every other cunt in the room is crashed out and snoring away YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, and i'm still wired like fuck, ESPECIALLY AFTER A SET LIKE THIS! anyway, youz lot can have this one, call it a pre xmas prezzie, i'll probably rinse it a few more gigs before starting all over again during our xmas new year session me n seb plan to have with dr walker, and its not like i can sell it to any cunt unless its in the flesh and at a rave is it! Right. nuff said. till next time, byeeeeeeeee.....


must try and blag someone to sponsor me a few more hours capacity on here, anyone interested?

Live in brno  - cz -19-11-11

forthcoming on audiotrix records, pretty much what a dmt trip sounded like on saturday at free kuency festival in portugal. no download option , hoping to rinse this one proper, counting on your support. enjoy

Cheese cutter blade

so its a half hour long mouse jam of what i been working on with Valentin today. i may be swapping those vocals out for better ones with less effects but the idea is there, proper Deep futuristic urban funk from the Berlin Underground, literally 3.5 metres underground at the all new Loonie Bin Laboratories.
its nice to be inspired again, 
very happy with the now fully operational space ship flight deck here.
more to come. stay tuned. thanks for putting up with this one, there will be a properly arranged version one day , nowhere near as long.

AGENT 51 - BERLIN HQ FIRST BREAKBEAT JAM

Crystal House BootL3g bonanza

Here is a little taste of things to come from our label in the coming months. mainly vinyl releases, limited numbers so get yours from toolboxrecords and other reputable vinyl dealers. bandcamp page for digital releases coming soon.

LOONIE BIN LABS SNEAK PREVIEW MIX

needs an ending. anyone feel like taking it on?

Its a creeper

well i thought i'd record this one as well. stay tuned for some finished versions on my bandcamp very soon

DSTRY - FNK live prep 03

once upon a time there was....oh fuck it, YOU MAKE SOMETHING UP FOR A CHANGE. answers on a postcard to bbc television centre, wood lane, london , w12, 8qt.

CD-LIVE-2019-SOMEWHERE

well i figured seeing as the tribe have the weekend off(officially) i'd savour the occasion and seize the moment by letting all of you who didnt make it to this gig what you missed out on ( by thunder i nearly didnt make it either, waking up in a cold sweating panic in my hotel room at 3am on a saturday feeling highly embarrased by my "lack of faith"), thankfully my family rallied round and saw the night through before i showed up and did THIS! a live set worth recording and posting for once! they don't come every time me being such a snob n all that but when they do , they are for YOUUUUUU!!!
By the way, ARTURIA< if youre listening, SPARK hasnt worked for 2 gigs straight, and i didnt change a damn thing. come on i helped you guys develop this a LOT, i need it to WORK when i PLAY!!!!! another license, ANYTHING so i can keep flying the flag for the best drum machine plugin controller combo Hardtek has ever SEEN!
Please?????

CRYSTAL DISTORTION LIVE AT FUGITIVE FUTURE CAEN 2019

so this is a quick idea of how my workflow system behaves,, all night workshop sessions in country paradise, i love music camp.
enjoy

austria workshop content creatoin day 2 tape jam

so the last evening of our workshop ended up as a mass jam session between everybody, and eventually they all realized that i hadnt joined in yet, so this is part of my bit.
they made me do this.

THEY MADE ME PLAY - camp distortion , Austria , 2019, the party night

Simon's Berlin Punk Selection , AKA SI - BER - PUNK

ok first off, sorry about the ropey ending, i was in the mix for the last few mins with jeff23 and didn't have his audio feed on the recording. anyway, sounds pretty frikkin fat and clear n multi dimensional to me here at the ratlab, but do try and put it on some decent speakers if you can as there's lots of bassline. thanks to all of you who made it down there on the night, and hope to kick it on dry land in april 2013 back in da UK.

Crystal distortioN, live onboard MS Stubnitz - SP23 party 23/11/2012

AS i didn't record my set from the teknival , which , lets face it , was ropey as u LIKE, here's one that sounds like i knew what i was doing. i'd just finished a stint in snowy east germany , headed down to toulon for some full on rain and rave to join the rest of my crew and have it, headbangin style, so this one's a bit fast.

LIVE AT NIRVANA 6/4/13

i seem to have got the hang of this. so, the situation: big ass expensive lair's for evil overlords. The predicament: james bond and his ilk always get there in the nick of time, save the world, and blow the place up.  The question: WHAT WAS THE EVIL VILLAIN LISTENING TO BEFORE THE HERO CAME TO SPOIL ALL THE FUN???? the answers lie in this recording....which will NOT self destruct in 5 seconds. malignant sneers and outlandish outfits at the ready! we got a world to annoy. lets GOOOOOOO

Crystal Distortion

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