GLADIATOR SEASON + Syrup & Strange (CUSTXDIAN)

spaz ft grave718

i need that money  (snxrkk)

eating they skin (prod. Strange)

Gotta Spazz (bbuggin)

NUN TO ME - Prod. (Eugh)

did u knooo that u make my heart thud🩷

https://www.instagram.com/rarecivilian

#rare #2005

tellmewhatyouwant (prod. xaviersobased)

{SERAPH} TALKIN DOWN {Prod. MiiZxKvnn}

🎧BassLine💥

HDWAV 5.1 - SW33TT 3V1L DRR11LLL 0FF1C14L R3M1X FT SkullMorph x SoundLab - Insanity Breeds

Lyrics: 

Of course I fucked up my coffee again
God, I'm so fuckin stupid

I thought it was a simple mistake
But now it's a habit I seem to take daily
For the sake of...

I don't know

The doctors could never get my medication right

Is it because I lied In fear that they might peer into my poorly steered mind? 

I don't know
I guess I'll never know

But I do know that if my coffee doesn't taste right
Then I might not get on with my day in the right way that I intended to according to my plans I made last night 

And then I'll start to forget what it's like to remember to ignore the voice in my head that tells me that my body isn't the one I like

And then I'll hopelessly obsess over the fantasy of permanently changing my body for an impermanent feeling
What a waste of my time, I'll never be satisfied

If I can't even get my own coffee right, why would I ever believe I could be satisfied with the medication they choose
or the body I'd fight live in

There's no use trying to read between the lines caught in my sinuses

You'll find nothing there but lies I tell myself

like "I'll be fine for another hit"

A dose over what I can usually take is just enough to rid me of my spineless "desire" of suicide

So now I can set that aside for a time later down the line when I'm no longer fearing for my life

There was too much water in my coffee this morning
So I guess I'll make another one later and stay up tonight
It's not like I enjoy sleeping anyway

But if I do end up sleeping
I'll end up getting to sleep too late 
To enjoy the next day
Cause I'll sleep in
And I'll wish I just poured out my coffee and made another

But my mother always taught me not to waste whats been paid for
And if I make another, I must be greedy
So I'll just suffer and hope tomorrow's  coffee is poured right
But it never is anymore because I forgot the milk ratio for my coffee
Why can I never seem to get it right anymore?

I don't know
It doesn't bother me much

But it's enough that I notice
And now instead of feeling satisfied 
All I can do is focus on the bitter side of my mind
Like why must I be the one cursed to see this eyesore that I see staring back at me in my haunted mirror

Whoever you are, leave me alone
And stop looking at me with those crooked teeth 
And a body too feminine to fear my foes 
But too masculine to to shower alone in peace

It's no wonder you're emotionally disconnected from physical intimacy 
Can't you see?
This is what my reflection was destined to be

My own personal lingering stench to keep me sick of living in the discomfort of my own home

I wish just once my mind could tell me the lies that I want to hear and not the ones I fear

I think I'll just get someone else to make my fucking coffee when I wake up

Coffee (Prod. Inciede)

#gladiatorboyz
##LEECH
https://on.soundcloud.com/pegU1v6Br2m8HPoq6
ECCHIVISION [死!] 
https://soundcloud.com/ecchivisioncollective
MOP ENTERTAINMENT
https://soundcloud.com/mopent

GLADIATOR SEASON + Syrup & Strange (CUSTXDIAN)

maxwell the custodian