Produced by Fantom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9HoQFwUjY


I got T4T Dreams
I got Deer Girl Dreams
I got Moonrock Dreams
I got BIG CITY DREAMS
I GOT DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES
ALL MY GIRLS DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES

I got T4T Dreams
I got Puppy Girl Dreams
I got Diamond Dab Dreams
I got BIG CITY DREAMS
I GOT DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES
ALL MY GIRLS DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES

H Town Made
It's ya girl HI YAR RI
gonna go BERZERK
like I'm Guts on an atari
Pinball Wizard
from the west near the lief
love some blue haired bitches
cortana master chief

I'ma Super Service Top
born and raised in the west
i dont reall give a fuck 
if you dont like that
I'm the best
from the city of the syrup
but i don't go slow
got that the AuDHD flow
I got my autism to go

I got T4T Dreams
I got Deer Girl Dreams
I got Moonrock Dreams
I got BIG CITY DREAMS
I GOT DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES
ALL MY GIRLS DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES

I got T4T Dreams
I got Puppy Girl Dreams
I got Diamond Dab Dreams
I got BIG CITY DREAMS
I GOT DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES
ALL MY GIRLS DREAMS FLICKERING LIKE BONFIRES

When I go up
QT's show up
Cherry Cola
Finna Po Up 
One white cup 
with a little bitta gummy clusters
one white cup
with  a little bitta gummy clusters

T4T Dreamz [produced by Fantom]

FED UP WITH THIS WORLD, EVERYONE BETRAYS ME

Gabagool

Demo my a project I’m working on called Birdetta

Isabel - Demo

Say Her Name - Demo

Chameleon

If Only

Irony

We Should Go Out Sometime.

Zweifeln

East Barton Street

Its Thinking

Welcome, Moon & Star

Dabo Girlz

Wubaluba Dub Dub
sad egg singing bout sad shit
circa 2013ish

Instrumental Produced by Mason Lane
https://www.youtube.com/user/MasonLaneDizzle

Little Lies

was private and written years ago in the porn industry, don't remember producer, if you know let me know please, thank you

sad egirl

Allow me to sing to you in my broken mandarin,

Popu Lady - Love Bomb

(Produced by deadalive)
https://soundcloud.com/devdvlive


trigger warning

Do you have the time, to listen to me whine about suicidal depression and being a NEET? Neat.

-----------------------------------------




lyrics
getting no sleep
thinking bout all the things that I've done
yeah it's been a few days since i've seen the sun
I don't know why I am this way
I'm scared that im fucked up and i'll never change
I just wanna end it all sometimes
But I can't yet, and you know it hurts inside
And I ain't got nothing
no one to turn to
no one gives a fuck
and there's nowhere to run to
what do you do when you got no hope
and the only thing keeping you away from a rope
is the thought that one day some god might play their hand
and then you'll be able to go to Disneyland
its a joke
and then you find something
you'll think its so pure
and you know that you want it 
you're totally sure
and it's nothing
its over
there isn't a cure
and you hate yourself more
cause you said you were sure

And I'm here
And I'm here
Alone again

You've got an aura around you
its thick and black
and the thoughts that you're thinking
you can't go back on
is anything worth it
is anything real
I don't know anymore
and I don't know how to deal
with it all
And im scared that I'll fall
And I wanna be strong
but then nobody calls
because nobody's there
and when no ones around 
then the only sound
you can hear
are the cries of self loathing
and fear
The silence is deafening
its taking you in
and all you can say is
please not again
then light leaves your eyes
and it becomes clear
that there isn't a place for you here
And you know that its true
but you don't want it to
and a part of yourself
doesn't know what to do
once you realize
you've found your real eyes

then you'll see
that your back

here

And I'm here
And I'm here
Alone Again

Alone Again (prod. by deadalive)

Dissonance [Snippet} (Prod. deadalive)

ChemIcal Bomb - The Aquabats

lead vocal was improvised, built the rest on that, it worked kinda well

And You Hated Me (Ukulele Song)

Back by popular demand, this was written in 2011 and chronicles many sagas in the chris chan mythos. this was before all the crazy fucked up shit happened.

LYRICS


Well I wake up at noon
and I go to the bathroom
Try and take a shit
but ain't got no room
To sit, I cannot quit
cause I've been blocked up for weeks
and my craps legit
because all I eat is fast food and fried things
I like mcdonalds and my dad like burger king
he's a lumberjack, his name is bob
and he can cut down the internet like A-Log

and he's walked in on me while i'm mass-debating-
and he tells me to stop procrastinating
but I won't because the world owes me one
I'm a unique snowflake they should show me some
more respect of my artistic skills
the monthly tugboat can pay my bills
no need to go out and get a job 
when i can sit in my house and live like a slob

I think I'll play my PS3, for 9 hours straight
without moving
and then I'll fight the trolls
with my knights in white and make videos for my heartsweet tonight

well everyone hates on my for my dissablity
or maybe its because of my extreme gullibility
idk maybe I should as rocky
damn that clyde cash he's so cocky
he wants all the boyfriend free girls
he wants to make my life heck
why can't I find a boyfriend free girl?
I get no respect

and I got honor roll in high school
and I really like optimus prime too
I got a bunch of action figures 
I don't play with them
I pretend hedgechogs are my children
and I made sonichu
he's totally: ORIGINAL, HONEST, and TRUE
and I also made rosechu
she does not have a pickle

I think I'll play my PS3, for 9 hours straight
without moving
and then I'll fight the trolls
with my knights in white and make videos for my heartsweet tonight
I need me a sweetheart
from the ground up
I need me some lovely weather
I'll give her a fanta in a dixie cup
and we'll always be together

and the dang dirty trolls get me down
and they always screw me around
and I wanna crash into slumber
cause i'm not getting any younger
one day I'll bash clyde cash and cap his ass
with my megatron gatling gun
it'll be fun
cause I got chun-li in me
and all the trolls will finally see
that I hate homosexuality
oh no
GodBearJesus hear my plea
smite all the trolls and set me free
so I can me with my
JOOOOOLAYYYYYYYYY

I think I'll play my PS3, for 9 hours straight
without moving
and then I'll fight the trolls
with my knights in white and make videos for my heartsweet tonight
I need me a sweetheart
from the ground up
I need me some lovely weather
I'll give her a fanta in a dixie cup
and we'll always be together

Oh snorlax
oh snorlax
please dont eat all my ex lax
oh god bob 
oh god bob
don't cut the internet down
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know where to go now
I stress sigh
I stress sigh
when no one is around
Oh snorlax
oh snorlax
please dont eat all my ex lax
oh god bob 
oh god bob
don't cut the internet down
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know where to go now
I stress sigh
I stress sigh
when no one is around

I'm the great director
i'm the great director CWC
i'm the great director
i'm the great director CWC

The Great Director (A Song About The Amazing Christian Chandler)

I haven't slept, I'm tired. Overworked. Heres a thing. Don't  sue
I'm just a small fish

LYRICS 
Well you say you're in the trap
but I don't know what you mean
are you in a cute girl
or are you trying to sell me lean
I don't really know a lot
and I don't got a lot to say
but the only thing I know is 
I don't want any yay

I got no money for that shit
I gotta get my ciggarettes
I gotta go back home
so I can take care of my neopets
yeah I got a kau
and ofc I got a grundo
and every single second 
yeah i make another hundo

Getting all the munny
little prayer in my pocket
Pay no mind to all the people
telling me to stop it
gotta chase the money
yeah you gotta get around
charlie barkin said you can't keep a good dog down

Charlie Barkin$ - (MØ Ripoff)

oh yeah
look at me go
look at me go
with my hot ass flow
I've got a cat
hes really cool
sometimes i think ill take him to the pool

but he dosen't wanna go
to the pool
because he is a cat
and if he gets really wet
then he is not real cool with that
if he was maybe a dog
then he'd be better in water
but i don't think he is
so i guess i gotta holler

hey
anybody wanna cat
whos afraid of water
and he always wears hats
i don't really know
and I don't really care
but all I know 
is right i need a fresh pair of underwear


If I was a bear I would live in a big blue house


grandma
why do you always eat my cheese
i really want to eat it now
i don't know you're doing with my swiss
and my swiss miss
i just want you to know
that i love you so
but i dont want you to drink my swiss miss
and eat my swiss

kim jong un
he loves his cheese
so much
everyone knows
that he's so healthy healthy healthy
he's so healthy healthy healthy

Bear in the Big Blue House

I'm gonna steal a beat 
off of the internet
because 
I don't have any talent
I'm gonna rap about a bunch of stupid shit
and sing a lot and no one can do anything about it
I just wanna sleep
I just wanna get some cake
I just wanna go home 
and watch episodes of ricky lake
but I don't know why
I even try

Everything is fucked
I just watched the mighty ducks
emilio estevev dosen't even know how to drive trucks
he dosen't drive a car
not once
wait does he
I don't even know if he does
Be Eee cuz heez
is a loser
goldberg he was the best character
yuh
and the kid from heavyweights was there
yeah
they were best friends before summercamp
thats the way that it
and i can't fucking rap

I can do anything if i try
except make good music
I can do anything if I try
but make good music.

I Can Do Anything If I Try (Lil Debbie Rip-Off)

Woah
i know you never think about me thats ok
woah
but is it weird that i think about you every day

I was infaturated with you
i was crazy in lust
I needed you in my life
i wanted you to be my wife
delusional thoughts
from a kid who had no fucking clue
about life about love, and espeically about you

don't know what to do
every night
i had dreams of you
but was that even you
or just who
I wanted to be?

i'm a terrible human being
i'm a terrible human being

Woah
I know you never think about me that ok
woah
but is it weird that i think about you every day?

you stood me up a hundred times
and a hundred times i took it well
you broke my spirit broke my heart
and I told you I was just swell
but I was creepy fat loser
who thought you were an angel
put you on a pedastal
and kept you there


break 

don't know what to do
every night
i had dreams of you
but was that even you
or just who
I wanted to be?

I'm a Terrible Human Being. (Demo)

My Present to You. <3

instrumental: RoyalCourtyardSquad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYakBGXg8us

Lyrics
wake up at ten and I go back to sleep
wake up at twelve cause a girls gotta eat
go back to sleep cause thats all that I do
realize it's dumb and I wake up at two

reading my kindle while I'm im on the toilet
done with my book so now you can not spoil it
taking a shower and washing my hair
making sure all of my forehead is there
 
I don't got a lot
going on in my life
All I wanna do 
is get high

but I do not got none
right now
but I do not got none
right now
I just want some right here
right now
but I do not got none right now

i just wanna sit and
watch anime
i wanna wait till
the end of the day
I'm getting tired
I'm getting dizzy
I'm drinking soda
it is not fizzy

I do not know what that means
no
I do not know what that means
no
I do not have a real flo
oh
I do not have a real flo
oh
 

[sexy sausage serenade]


when I was six
yes I had me a dream
I wanted to be
just like hakeem
but I can't ball
and I'm tall
enough to
replace no talent
I'm a failure
and a loser
and it sucks
thats true
i'm a failure 
and a loser
and my dick is 
shrinking too

I don't got a lot
going on in my life
All I wanna do
is get high
I don't got a lot
going on in my life
All I wanna do
is get high

A Day in the Life

instrumental: Ｍ Aｉ T Ｒ O - Botan (ぼたん)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdvKYZi-rCM


LYRICS
yo it's hiyari 
from the west side here
gonna go home
no i don't drink beer
gotta lotta sodas
in my fridge
gonna drink em all
cause I ain't move an inch
from my computer screen
and no I don't sip lean
I'm just sitting here
just a little queer
i don't wanna be mean

but you ain't got
nothing else on me
all you wanna say
is im a tranny
but i know that shit
and it's true
and i like to watch zaboomafoo
what else you got on me
i don't think it matters
cause life is like popeyes
and im getting fatter
the worlds wonderland
and im the mad hatter
teapot drop the beat
and and then it shatters

I just wanna be with you
but you cant even see
that i am just a normal girl
i just wanna be me
no pretending
i don't wanna lie
no defending
when somebody tries
to hurt me
hurt me 
hurt me


you want me there
but i'm standing right here
i don't know what you want from me
you wanna cute photo a picture
maybe a video
nothing in life is free

talk is cheap
but money talks quicker
its quicker than sex
and its quicker than liquor
don't even care if you care back
don't even care if you care back

Botan (ぼたん) (prod. Ｍ Aｉ T Ｒ O)

produced by HARUHI
https://soundcloud.com/haruhijinju
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JzbPvJTfNE

LYRICS
Hiya
Hiyari
Hiya
REEEEEEE
tranny with a fanny pack
from the BV
yeah i work in a video store
and at night I become a camwhore

huh?

I'm still broke
got nothing on me
thats all good
cause no one robs me
chilling in my room
and im playing cuphead
gotta get a cup
and i gotta get a  head
hahahahaha
I'm still wearing an a cup bra
that no good
naw it's not great
hows anybody gonna masturbate
to that
i wonder
and say 

hey
maybe I should just lose weight
ayy
maybe I just just move weight
ayy
maybe I should just go straight
ayyy

ima just get real baked
adventure time with fin and jake
is on my 2nd monitor
and I'm just drifting on   and on
and im still wondering
still thinking
great moments with mr lincon
gotta get cash
gotta get ready
get jawbreakers
ed ed and eddy

I got bills to pay
scenes to slay
games to play
and prayers to say
all I wanna do is relax
take it easy
but everyone else
wants to  play parcheesi
I don't wanna do that
I just wanna do this
I don't wanna do gross 
things just wanna swiss miss
I wanna watch some 90's shojo
and write fanfics with mr popo

as the Mc
betta not fuck with me 
my minds living in the gutter
quite litterally
i don't got nothing to say
but I'll say shit anyway
fuck the mavricks
everyday
fuck the mavricks
everyway

I got no purpose
other than amusement
thats my lot
only here for attunement
life is a joke
and my rhymes the punchline
don't really know
why I even waste my time
maybe I do it just because I can
maybe I do it cause I want real fans
maybe I'm narcisistic
borderline autistic
unfunny prick
whos totally basic

im as vanilla as the lattes i drink
I'm just as annoying as everyone thinks
I even really really liked Jar Jar binks
and i smoke too much so I always stink

All my songs are so generic
4/4 time, flows formulaic
takes so long for me to say it
but I suck, and I really hate it

And I tried to be the best
but then life has got to swerve me
if porn has a tier list
then I'm down there with kirby
got nothing left to add
except that I'm a fucking fake
I don't know why they even like me
don't know what it's gonna take
for me to take a fucking compliment
and believe that it's true
for me to think that someone could actually like me
cant be true
Im just gonna sit here

Vanilla (prod. haruhi)

INSTRUMENTAL: A shitty song by shitty people that was taken before i knew how shitty they were.

from the first time I got sober



LYRICS
Heya it's Hiyari
and im going on safari
got a south african beat
and jacked it like its a ferrari
not really I am just kidding 
No I'd never steal a thing
im just making me a mixtape
do not sue me 

no really, please dont sue me

Hiyari Naai
back after a minute
yeah I haven't made to much lately
but now I'm gonna kill it
Got a lot of inspiration and a lot of free time
got a lot of cute girls inspired by my rhymes
If I can be what I want to be
then they can do it too you'll see
we be coming up in this rap game 
that dosen't want us to be
successfull
it is so stressfull
not really cause im killing it
make happiness in this hell hole
that don't want us in it
everything so political
Don't wanna be too literal
but every single line 
that you define 
to be so critical
ain't really that bad
i don't wanna make you mad
don't want you bossing me around
cuz you ain't my dad

Heya it's hiyari
wrecking shit in this ferrari
and it's metaphorical
no i aint tryin to hurt nobody
if I could become the greatest
I'd give everyone a hug
i ain't trying be a thug
wanna try and spread the love
yeah I'm hiyari
eating calimari
at a red lobster
and oh gosh its gnarley
they might have microwaved it
just like my career
im making jabs at myself
did you just not hear?

you're not supposed to microwave calarmari 
because that's not how you prepare it properly 
and it won't taste very good

get it?

If I could get money
yeah I'd by myself a van
take it all around the country
maybe get myself a band
and I'd get my mom some new feet
her old ones are bad
I'd take a trip to nebraska
and go see my daaaaad
's grave
yeah that got dark
sorry bout that
don't wanna be edgy
no i'm not really to cool with that
gotta stay positive
i gotta spread good vibes
im just like an ohmibod
I just want you to writhe
in happiness
and joy
wether you are a girl or boy
or whatever you identify as
I'm not being coy
i want you to do your thing
i want you to flash your bling
if its your body, music or art
you gotta do your thing

you're special just by being you
embrace it

Heya it's hiyari
and i totalled the ferarri
but thats ok it was fake
tell my fantasies that I'm sorry
and I got a lot to say today
but most of it is nothing
but I'm really good at talking
and im not so good at fronting
and I like to keep it trill
and I always pay my bills
and I have really good credit
and its kinda got me thrilled
its good to be responsible
I don't even do drugs
I just get high on love
i just get by on hugs

Oh Oh Oh Oh Hiyari
Oh Oh Oh Oh Hiyari
Oh Oh Oh Oh Hiyari
Oh Oh Oh Oh Hiyari

I used to do some bad things
but theres time to change
I used to feel worthless
and lived life in shame
I still get those feels 
but I know they're not real
I know we can get better
and we gotta keep it trill

I feel you
you feel me
I know you get angry
I know you get depressed
and I impress upon you
actually
i know that you can find yourself
and I know that it is hard
I know that you'll find out
in time
that baby you're a star

I believe in you
And you can do anything if you try

Heya it's Hiyari
and I'm tired of being sorry
and I want to help all of my
kin to realize that their life is starry
if you believe you'll make it real
if you believe in your good feels
if you've got some friends by your
side then you're hey you're gonna
be so chill
it dosen't cost a thing
to be nice and you'll change
others lives with positivity
it really works
i'm sure you'll see
your actions have reactions
you have to spread some love
and you have to be honest
It fits you like a glove

Heya it's Hiyari
I don't drink so no bacardi
will be consumed by me
its ok if you just want to party
I just wanna live life
I just wanna be ok
I just wanna spread joy
I hope you feel the same

Heya, It's Hiyari!

prod. deadalive


I wake up in cold sweats
and they wont ever stop
every single dream
involves me blasting an op
I get blood in my mouth 
and it runs down my face
then the guilt sets in when they
start to chase me

And I'm crying my eyes out
i know what I did
I'm just running so fast from
the past that skid marks of blood
are trailing behind me
all i hears screaming
i hope no one finds me

and when I wake up 
my bedsheets are soaked
i sit at my pc and I start to smoke
Memories rush through my mind
ten at a time
And I'm starting to think maybe that I am a joke
of a person
a waste of a life
why even bother with anything right?
then I calm down and I try to ignore it
too much anxiety and no where to store it

Once I found something, I thought I could do
So I did it a while and thought I was through
I tried to get big off of selling my looks
and I did real well until i felt hooks
dig in the back of my mind
I thought it was fine
I'd just fall in line
and maybe that this was my time
it wasn't 
that dream was too far
whats more pathetic than a failed porn star?

And I just couldn't take it
had to look good but i couldn't make it
your worth is your image and I couldn't fake it
alone in a shower just crying im naked
lights are turned out, im fucked up and faded
All I can feel is that I am hated
just want this feeling negated
nothing is real anymore
i'm just a fucking internet whore

I burtst into tears
alone with my fears and and a blunt
wish I was born with a cunt
maybe my life would be better
instead of rock hard just need to get wetter
instead of a freak I'd be a trend setter
nothing in front of my name, no letters
no sex work so i can buy meds
and no late nights wishing i was dead

no more stares from around the block
wondering if homegirls got a cock
no more living life as a pariah
just some dope bitch spitting fire
no more anxious days in public
if that would happen i would love it
I just feel like I'm a quitter
I sold my soul for likes likes on twitter

Therapy [prod. deadalive]

i just wanna feel you in my bed tonight
pull me close to you
and hold me tight
I just wanna fall into your arms tonight
and move on through it all
right by your side

But you know we can't do that
If we could  i guess we would   
but we won't cause we don't do that
Naw baby we don't do that
Cause we don't want to hurt no one
and we wont cause we dont do that
Naw we don't do that

I'm missing you for real
And I can't do anything
I'm so lonely without you
I'm so alone

Yeah I wanted you ideally
and I still do are you really
gonna beat around the bush
and just pretend you didn't hear me
when I said that all I want is you 
and only you to feel me 
I don't know about my heart 
it's been years since I had feelings
All I want is to feel something
even if it ends in nothing
and I'm tired and I'm lonely
and I'm always just left wanting
for another thing to fill the 
hole inside of me I tried to be
the best of me but now that's just a memory 
Help me to Forget

i just wanna feel you in my bed tonight
bring me close to you
and hold me tight
I just wanna fall into your arms tonight
and move on through it all
right by your side

MISSINGU4REAL - 【ＨＩＹＡＲＩ - ⚧ - 希亞裡】

my kokoro wish is to become a cigarette butt.

【ＨＩＹＡＲＩ - ⚧ - 希亞裡】

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