Welcome one and all to Meals-Off-A-Dinghy, the only Dinghy dining experience this side of the Mississippi Delta. Enjoy deliciousness like you never have before as your are entertained by our beloved mascot Big Floppy Dinghy!

137 - Meals Off A Dinghy

On this episode we discuss the oh so tantalizing 3 executive orders drafted by the Biden administration on gun reform and all the interesting juicy bits that they entail. Not only this, but we break the most important rule on the internet, Godwin's Law.

138 - Ghost Guns Are Spoopy

this just in!  We need to take a moment to have a little chat about Amazon labor movements (at x1.2 speed! We care about your precious time). Tune in for more updates.

Cynic Empowerment Update - Amazon Labor

Meet Tipples! The long forgotten milk man of Johnny Appleseed and remember it's nut juice NOT nut milk...

Dead Jokes 4 - Johnny Appleseed's Tipples

Imagine a planet with a deadly communicable disease. Now imagine this same planet with a vaccine to prevent the spread of this disease. In this instance would it make sense to:

A) Share the vaccine patent with everyone 
or
B) Restrict the distribution of the patent, preventing poorer countries from having access to it

Unfortunately we live on planet B.

139 - Covid Rides Again

141 - Race Theory Critical Edition

Welcome back to the depths of despair folks, we'll be your guide on the river Styx today! On our tour we'll be discussing a variety of rant filled subjects carefully curated for your dismal listening pleasures.

Image
Creator: Lee 
Credit: MCT

142 - The Gates of Hell

weird shit happens when you sacrifice stuff to satan

Dead Jokes 15 - Orville Redenbacher's Soul Seed

Could it be?! In the very likeness of J.D. Rockefeller? He's here and he's spillin the bagels. Being wealthy ain't always what you would expect, especially when you have you're public images to consider.

Credited sound FX:
https://freesound.org/people/humanoide9000/sounds/569047/
https://freesound.org/people/Dneproman/sounds/377220/

Dead Jokes 16 - John "C." Rockefeller

The archivist leads the way to secrets of the Himalayan pink salts! Boy Un Dee can hide no longer.

Dead Jokes 17 - Chef Boy Un D

Darth Johan has soul and we need it. How much are we willing to sacrifice and at what cost? Spider Man undies...

This is a good halloween podcast, improv podcast and funny podcast. Listen to it mortals.

Dead Jokes 18 - Darth Johan

Get our own planets!? Sign me up! This time we get in touch with the largest personality yet. Meet us in the next realm bretheren.

Dead Jokes 19 - Astral Mormons

What lengths would you go to in order to extract 17 Mormon souls out of your body?

Dead Jokes 20 - Simone says "Chop off a Limb!"

What do you do when you have been possessed by an evil spirit broker and you would rather not throw up gross, fake looking pea soup to exorcise it? Call Clayborn, here for all your lucifarian litgurgical needs.

Dead Jokes 21 - Infernal Litigation

When you have a case that's needin solved. Who yah gonna call? Winnie Vinnie Always Wins the Case Demon Marzipan Guy

Dead Jokes 22  - Winnie Vinnie Always Wins the Case

Welcome to the cool side of the afterlife folks. We need help taking down the infernal litigator! This time we look to the heavens for holy council.

sound fx creds:
https://freesound.org/people/Cunningar0807/sounds/436128/
https://freesound.org/people/Teo4/sounds/159641/

Dead Jokes 23 - Tommy the Guardian Angel

We're in hell court and we might just get burned. These imps do not play nice with strangers. Sassy Pants the Incubus is a punk. If we're lucky we might just get out alive.

Dead Jokes 24 - We're in Hell... LITERALLY!

Show Notes:
Edible dogs of the ages:
http://messybeast.com/history/edible-dogs.htm
Yulin Dog Festival:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/explainer-yulin-dog-meat-festival-china-a6968861.html
Supreme Court Ruling on Class Action Law Suits:
http://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/388601-supreme-court-upholds-agreements-that-prevent-employee-class-action

Episode 7 - Yulin Dog Festival, Not What You Think

Episode 27 - Sex Magic Made Me Superman a Killdozer

Email us: cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cynic…d1411734131?mt=2

Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

Episode 29 - Hitler Dad and Friends

Email us: cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cynic…d1411734131?mt=2

Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

Episode 32 - Cheesecake Factory or Death

Episode 35 - Poo Unto Others as They Poo Unto You?

Episode 38 - One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Philia ft. Julia Winsch

Educate Yourself:
https://www.charitynavigator.org/

https://www.charitywatch.org/home

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Email us: cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cynic…d1411734131?mt=2

Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

Episode 44 - PETA: People Euthanizing The Animals

Episode 49 - Going Off the Rails Like a Naked Russian Dude on an Airplane

Episode 51 - Stop Burning Women Alive, Just STOP IT

Episode 53 - Vienna Sausages Taste Like Poverty

Daniel Radcliffe walking dogs:
https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/bwdzg1/psbattle_daniel_radcliffe_walking_dogs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

The Great Dictator Speech:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibVpDhW6kDQ
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Email us: cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cynic…d1411734131?mt=2

Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

Episode 56 - Cold Pressed Cynicism

Episode 58 - Alabamy is at it Again

Email us: cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter: www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

iTunes: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cyni…nt/id1411734131

Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

#cynic #empowerment #podcast

Episode 66 - Are you a Pedophile, Yes or No?

Email us:
cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook:
www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter:
www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify:
open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

Apple Podcasts:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cyni…nt/id1411734131

Stitcher:
www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCZffEj1nRoh0dtZI6pnXbEA

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sources:

Japanese TP Curse:

https://edition.cnn.com/world/live-news/coronavirus-outbreak-03-12-20-intl-hnk/h_6e696114109180842147ea8d6c547bcc

Geofence Warrant:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/google-tracked-his-bike-ride-past-burglarized-home-made-him-n1151761

Shocking Banned 2020:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/06/us/electric-shock-fda-ban.html

Ice Cream Licker Served Justice:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/06/us/blue-bell-ice-cream-licker-jail-trnd/index.html

Episode 90 - Synthol Arms & Slav Squats

Email us:
cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook:
www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter:
www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify:
open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

Apple Podcasts:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cyni…nt/id1411734131

Stitcher:
www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCZffEj1nRoh0dtZI6pnXbEA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chandelier Sex Slave:

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2020/apr/14/the-sun-woman-attraction-to-chandeliers-not-a-sexual-orientation-ipso-says

Delayed Stimulus Checks:

https://www.newsweek.com/stimulus-checks-may-delayed-trump-requires-us-treasury-print-his-name-them-1497916

No School Shootings March:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronavirus-first-march-without-school-shooting-since-2002-united-states/?fbclid=IwAR3ftJulsF37iTz0LnDjYOa57k7kxy42DfKvG_7B9duwRz1yzgSHIsd4mAs

Let's Blow Up Alice:

https://nypost.com/2020/04/14/man-arrested-for-plot-to-blow-up-alice-in-wonderland-statue-in-nyc/?utm_source=reddit.com

Chile Don't Count Too Good:

https://www.newsweek.com/chile-counts-those-who-died-coronavirus-recovered-because-theyre-no-longer-contagious-health-1497775

Episode 95 - Lumiere the Sex Slave Chandelier

Email us:
cynicempowerment@gmail.com

FaceBook:
www.facebook.com/cynicempowerment/

Twitter:
www.twitter.com/CynicEmpowerme1

Spotify:
open.spotify.com/show/0nceppuZVPdlrMAYo7RWnd

Apple Podcasts:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cyni…nt/id1411734131

Stitcher:
www.stitcher.com/podcast/cynic-empowerment

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCZffEj1nRoh0dtZI6pnXbEA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's Special Candy:

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/eight-year-old-wins-200-worth-of-cannabis-products-at-youth-hockey-tournament-1.4836083

Dumb Kids Being Dumb:

https://www.fox21news.com/top-stories/two-10-year-old-boys-handcuffed-and-booked-after-playing-with-toy-guns-outside/

Don't Lick Ice Cream:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/06/us/blue-bell-ice-cream-licker-jail-trnd/index.html

Apple Being Apple:

https://www.theverge.com/2020/3/2/21161271/apple-settlement-500-million-throttling-batterygate-class-action-lawsuit

Episode 96 - That's Not a Nerf Hammer...

India broke a record y'all! Celebrate with your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as we slink through gay orgies looking for that anti-gay guy and witness overt corporate evil in the highest of court in the land. Keep your head up folks, we're almost there.

Episode 124 - 250 Million Strong

Happy black history month fellow sad sacks! Join your hosts Jimmy and Timmy as we stroll through government attacks on the black panthers and the incredible vagueness of thiamine deficiency!

132 - Water, Wind, and the FBI

Time to chill out with your favorite sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy as we waltz through the winter wonderland of frozen food insecurity. In this episode we check out these despicable defenders of dumpsters while their fellow humans go hungry. Stay safe on those frosty streets y'all!

134 - Frozen Pizza Fiesta!

Is your super syrupy snow cone melting over your sweat pants? Join your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as cup our hands in futility to keep you unstickied. Super spensive spy planes, deadly bolo tie boys, and billionaire bumper crops in this one y'all.

135 - Snow Cone Spy Jet

Take a nice long sip of cynicism with your favorite podcast hosts Timmy and Jimmy. We will talk you through only the most dismal and depraved topics in our society. Come gather round as we give long rambling answers as to the reasons why we are sad sacks. Oh, and this is primarily a comedy podcast so laugh, haha hahaha *sobs*
#cynic #empowerment #podcast #podcasts #about #capitalism #socialism #sad #topics #funny #informative #cynical #deadjokes #dead #jokes

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