Written, produced, recorded, and performed (all instruments) by Dan Bauer. Mixed/mastered by Zach Zyla.

Oh, could’ve sworn I said, “No”
To another episode
Of this show that’s killing my brain.
Oh, the tracks in the snow,
They ain’t ever getting full
If I keep stepping this way.

I know it’s not, know it’s not. No, it’s not okay.
But it’s all I’ve got. All I’ve got to survive
The day.

Oh, what about the sappy posts?
I thought I told myself and everyone I’m okay.
Oh, wasn’t the hose
Just spraying so strong into the flames?
But hope is easily provoked.
Add a pinch of dope, you’ve got a break in the main.

I know it’s not, know it’s not. No, it’s not okay.
But it’s all I’ve got. All I’ve got to fight
The blaze.

Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say it’s done?
Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say? When I say
So.

I know it’s not, know it’s not. No, it’s not okay.
When it’s all you’ve got, all you’ve got in you to try
To escape.

Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say it’s done?
Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say? When I say?
Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say it’s done?
Ooooh. I said ooooh.
Can I just be done when I say? When I say
So.

When I Say It's Done

Second single from my upcoming album, “Love, Dan.” Check out its highly-stylish music video on YouTube!

U.G.L.Y.

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Dan Bauer - This Whole Thing Wasn't Easy 
 
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Produced, recorded, performed, and engineered by Dan Bauer.

This Whole Thing Wasn't Easy

Rocketship

It’s past 3:00 again, oh, and we’re still wide awake
Our heads, they ache
You’re going off again 'bout how I ain’t ready to be
The man you need
Why we doing this again? We just did it last week
Plus we both know we’re both so weak
You say sometimes you hate me and I know that that can’t be love
But then our legs will rub

Oh, it’s been so long since I felt so strong
Was what I had a fluke
If so, I’ll move along. But is it so wrong
To just believe, like a fool, it was true

Well this ain’t love and I know that because
Love's to me what was
She showed me all the things that you only ever told me
What kind of hands I want to hold me
‘Bout how when all the friends and presumptions drift away
Who you want to stay
It’s A Beautiful Morning was the song I used to use to get me awake
Now it’s whatever Apple makes

Oh, it’s been so long since I felt so strong
Was what I had a fluke
If so, I’ll move along. But is it so wrong
To just believe for a second that it was true

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Life on the double
To solve no fucking puzzle
Just some snuggles
I don’t want no struggle
No thoughts getting muzzled
Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles
Just some snuggles
Oooh ooh

It’s past 3:00 again, oh, and I know why we’re awake
It’s ‘cause I made some mistakes
Made you feel like this whole thing was a waste
You weren’t my first love, just second place
And as the evidence goes, that may be true
Though I could say the same for you
I know his name and his past like now you know the one from mine
But can I help get him out of your mind

Oh, it’s been so long since we felt so strong
Was what we had a fluke
But when you hold me close and before it goes
It’s a nice refrain to just believe it was true

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Life on the double
To solve no fucking puzzle
Just some snuggles
I don’t want no struggle
No thoughts getting muzzled
Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles
Just some snuggles

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Hail Mary’s in the huddle
Tryna mix what doesn’t muddle
Just some snuggles
Oh, it’s been a couple
Years with the shovel
Chasing light, digging tunnels
Toward some snuggles

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Life on the double
To solve no fucking puzzle
Just some snuggles
I don’t want no struggle
No thoughts getting muzzled
Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles
Just some snuggles

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Hail Mary’s in the huddle
Tryna mix what doesn’t muddle
Just some snuggles
Oh, it’s been a couple
Years with the shovel
Chasing light, digging tunnels
Toward some snuggles

Oh, I don’t want no trouble
Shouting matches and rebuttals
Tasted love before the struggle
Before the rubble
It was big, it was subtle
The scratching of my stubble
Breaking day with some cuddles
And some snuggles

Snuggles

And along the way I guess we learn
How to build and how to burn
And that what we have is exactly what we’ve earned
What I said was what I meant
But I couldn’t be more different
In these days I’ve spent trying to repent
There ain’t a god, don’t lie to me
But I believe in irony
And Since you left and only now I’m finally
The man I should’ve been
Could’ve been, would’ve been
If I knew this feeling was one that wouldn’t end
Eeennndd

Oh, I tell ‘em they’re beautiful, I send ‘em texts goodnight
Though no “I love you”s, ‘cause it don’t feel right
I’m meeting parents quick, planning birthday trips
I’m having, I think, healthy relationships
I’m living for love. For once, not like when I was too young
Too stupid, too smart to be acting so dumb
Before what I’d become just a world that’s spun
All out of whack ‘cause when it’s all said and done
It’s all said and done, and you were the one

Jacqui said her dad would hop
State to state and they’d barely talk
Guy’s like fifty, I guess it never stops
She said were were alike; I said, nah, I’m cool
But I guess we're both some fools
‘Cause I’m always telling my friends I’m ‘bout to move
Truth is: no matter where, I’m stuck
No matter where, I’m fucked
Learned what I loved ‘bout life once I tore it up
So what to make of this “after” life
Good advice, bad advice
It’s all moot anyway when you’ve paid such a price. Right

Ooooh, ooooh, ooh
Oooh, ooh
Ooooh, ooooh, ooh
Ahhh. Ah ahh ahh ahh, ahh, ahh ahh. Oooh oooh ooh
Oooh. Oooh. Ooooooh oooh, oooh
Oooh. Oooh. Oooh, oooh, ooh
Oooh. Oooh. Ooooooh oooh, oooh
Ooooh. Oooooohhhhh aahhh ahh ahhhhhh

The After Life

Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh
Oooh. Oooh, ooh
Oooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Oooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh
Oooh. Oooh, ooh
Oooh oooh, oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh
Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh. Oooooh

I’ve taken second jobs when I don’t need the cash
Tried to find a match on all these fucking apps
Played shows and sports, even gotten latched
Up with an even prettier face. Oh it’s been a blast, it’s been a blast
Oh, it's been a blast

I’ve thrown all your cards in the trash
Gone months at times without a genuine laugh
Blown my stack at work at the kitchen staff
Oh, I’ve been stretched in ways that I can’t retract
Blew my next shot, took a few and got smashed
Then found another ass quick to help distract
Bounced in a month, before what was under wraps
Came to light, and she went to the clinic and stopped me from being a dad
Before I could ask

Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaared
Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaared
Ooooh

Maybe she took that path ‘cause she knew this’d never last
She knew all about you, though she never asked
K, who’s up next? Found another in a week flat
All of a sudden it’s been a half a year of this shit so fast
Month in and I’m still me, so we’re still showing cracks
Now she resents me, takes friends, and talks shit behind my back
But I’m so fucking scared to fade alone to black
That I guess I’m putting up with that
Growing so much less rash by the day
And that’s a fact

Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaared
Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaared
Oh, it’s been a whole year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaared
So, it’s been a whole fuckin' year
And I’m still fuckin’ here
Stuck in gear
Scaaaaaarrreeed
Right

A Whole Fucking Year

Life smacked me ‘round and it smacked me good
Smacked me ‘round ‘til I understood
That I’m just half, half, half
It ain’t about getting clicks and views
‘Cause you ain't no one if no one’s missing you
When it’s time to hit the sack, sack, sack
Killed the set - who gives a fuck
It's just another way to interrupt
My mind and it’s lonely track, track, track
Nothing sacred and true as you
Ooooohhh

Jesus Christ, I’m almost twenty-nine
Thirty’s coming in the blink of an eye
No time to waste, waste, waste
First dates on half my nights
Hoping I land something half as right
As her to help the ache, ache, ache
Cancel on my brother, bail on the guys
The same ones who talked me out of suicide
Last year when I tried, tried, tried
Guess my “thanks” and I were fake
Oooooh

Now all my fears are valid
And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh
This is what happens when you sell it
All to feel a little valid.  Oh oooh oh
From people you don’t even cherish
It's got me hanging in the balance
Oh oooh oh. Oooh oooohhhhh. Oohh

They had visiting hour twice a day
At the Cypress Center where I was locked away
Last May to save my life, life, life
Quote
Had a schizophrenic roommate
No one came to see him the whole time of my stay
But I had like five people visit twice
These are the loved ones I’m cool to flake
On for the sake of a Tinder date
Guess I never got it right, right, right
That love comes first, this tire’s gonna burst
Ooooh

Now all my fears are valid
And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh
This is what happens when you sell it
All to feel a little valid.  Oh oooh oh
From people you don’t even cherish
It's got me hanging in the balance
Oh oooh oh. Oooh oooohhhhh.
Now all my fears are valid
And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh
This is what happens when you sell it
All to feel a little valid.  Oh oooh oh
From people you don’t even cherish
It's got me hanging in the balance
Oh oooh oh. Oooooh ooooooooohhhhhhhhh

The Balance

Ooh oooh ooh, must be something legit
On that screen if all I did was sit
Keep it lit, keep it warm with the tips of my thumbs
Was the least I could do with all that it’s done for me
‘Cause we all need some fun when we’ve got medical debt
From the psych ward ‘cause forgetting your ex
Ain’t as simple as making the choice of which weapon to get to end it all
Time’s money and I spent it all
Replay booth, let’s get another view
Of me giving away the chocolate-covered fruits
Subtle “I love you”s, thinking I really got something better to do than grab brunch
Cut the reel, I’ve seen this enough

I can’t tell if I think it’s rich or am conceding the notion that life’s a bitch
That only after your last, last kiss do you really ever taste how sweet it is
Well I don’t think I’m a masochist, but if that’s the case what the fuck was this
We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands
It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up

Yeah, we don’t know what’s up

Took some time, oh, to realize
That I was Icarus-level high in the sky
Not every set of eyes looks at you dogs with a pizza slice
And, oh, even the ones that do, well you don’t always want them to
Oooh oooh ooh, maybe it takes a year
To understand that my greatest fear
Is this right here. I’ve soiled it, oh, it's crystal clear
Now I’m trying to fill a void that didn’t exist before I created it

And I can’t tell whether to cry or laugh
Or shrug it off ‘cause, fuck it, life’s like that
That only after she don’t call you back
That’s when you really, really, really want to know where she’s at
Well she ain’t in drugs that make you crash
Still learning that lesson, though I know it’s a fact
We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands
It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooooh

Least if I think of you now, it don’t hurt like it used to sting
We made it through the year, let’s have a do-over spring, another couple flings
Not notice what she does then sing about this lesson again
Maybe this’ll be the ‘now’ I’m lamenting then

And I don’t know if I think it’s right
That where we’re at ain’t always justified
That only when you can’t wave goodbye
Cause you’re shackled up and you’re taking a ride
To some padded walls so you don’t take your life
They treat your laces like a fucking knife, oh
Maybe then it’ll give you some time
To reconsider why
I did all these things that don’t make sense
Do I hate myself or am I just that dense
Seems dumb but we're confusing the tense
Who wouldn’t change their story if they knew how it ends
Looking back, it all makes sense
No defense, just ignorance
We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands
It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah
We don’t know what’s up
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooooh

We Don't Know What's Up

Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh
Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh

It’s not your fault that I’m a losing horse
And there ain’t nothing you can do to force
This to be that, though we both have tried
How’s this the honeymoon? ‘Cause on those you ain’t supposed to
On those you ain't supposed to cry

We got our own jokes and I recognize
That yours are special, not just someone else’s eyes
I want to find my woman; you want to get your man
I don’t know if I’m that, but I’m doing the best I
Doing the best I can
But I’m a fucking skeptic. I don’t believe my friends
Or that shit starts changing just 'cause the leaves are red
I want to have some faith that the kind of love I threw away
Ain’t just once in this lifetime and we can start anew someday

But I’ve been beat, shaped by defeat
Shaped by a year trying to negotiate
Self-love with a pinch of hate
There ain’t no meant to be
But maybe that won’t matter eventually because

Maybe someday I’ll believe it, maybe someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh
Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh
Oh oh ooooh oh oh

But I’ve been a mess, shaped by regret
Shaped by anything but naivety
The stars don’t believe in me
Oh. Sorry, babe, but I have to go
Find out if there’s light in the afterglow

Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh
Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it
Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh
Oh oh ooooh oh oooooh

Maybe Someday I'll Believe It's True

Apparently 4,000-character description limits and 9-1/2 minute songs don't go well together, so to read all these lyrics (and possibly purchase my album, hint hint), here you go: https://danbauermusic.bandcamp.com/track/six-whole-months

Six Whole Months

And I don’t believe in pills
Even though my back still kills
Been that way since the day I crashed
Can’t spot a van if you’re looking back

Still get laid, some one-night stands
Ten years ago I’d be the fucking man
Still got abs, still hit the gym
Got new jeans and they’re fitting slim
Still got friends, still going out
Whichever bar seems cool to post about
Fresh cut, three weeks at most
And 20/20, perfect for seeing ghosts

Oh, and I don’t know if I believe that life’s just like this
Sinking in the quicksand of the mistakes we make
"I did, but I ain’t, fucked up,” I keep on saying despite this
Scared all my next "I love you"s are gonna come out fake
Who am I these days anyway? Nothing if not

High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ohh oh

And I take sleeping pills
Every night ‘cause I just can’t chill
Head to pillow, time to crash
Staring at the ceiling, looking back
Love, where you at
Not in the reflection staring back
Been so long since I’ve seen her look
Watch the game, read a book

And I don’t know if I believe that life’s just like this
Sinking in the quicksand of the mistakes we make
“I did, but I ain’t, fucked up,” I keep on saying despite this
Scared all my next “I love you”s are gonna come out fake
Who am I these days anyway? Nothing if not

High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh
High strung today. Ooh ooh
High strung today 'cause we, yeah we
Yeah, we don’t know what’s up

High Strung

And it ain’t that cool to be
Triggered by the justice of the peace
Giving Nate and Lauren some generic speech
He probably does like twice a week
He gave that line about true love and I tweaked
Didn’t mean to cause a scene
A couple friends who weren’t drunk yet came to see
What's wrong; I shrugged, 2017. 2017

Keep doing it then eventually
That’s the new routine
Storming out of bars and Monopoly
Now “pardon me”’s a part of me
Broken record defense: I wear my heart on my sleeve
So I guess it’s cool to be
Twenty-eight without my shirt straight, relieved
When I don’t remember my dreams
But, hey, guess it’s easier this way

And it’s just so tough
Wish I was as tough today
As it is to chase the ghosts away
Well, maybe they go away
Oh

When we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
When we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
I think we grow up, yeah
When we kick off the dust
And say it's enough of enough
Oooh ooooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh

And it’s just tough
Wish I was as tough today
As it is to chase the ghosts away
I'm starting to think they'll go away
Oh

When we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
When we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
Ooooh when we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
When we grow up
Yeah, when we grow up
Oh, I think we grow up, yeah
When, oh, we kick off the rust
And say it's enough of enough
Oooh ooooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh

When We Grow Up

NH singer/songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. I write songs that are a bit longer than most, but they hit that much harder in your feels for the trouble. My best album by far drops spring 2022.

Dan Bauer

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