I Want To Kill Myself

killing time, nothing feels right
and now i wait until these days die
you’re a falling cloud, I couldn’t just dream
of you being mine, i drowned in your eyes

it drags me down, the way the sunbeam
passes you by, you are your own light
I distilled your soul, the perfume feels warm
I wear you now, my breath will thin out

I won’t stay the same and maybe I’ll be fine 
wake up still asleep so dream, water it down

your eyes

a thirteen minute synth piece recorded in february of 2017. improvisational, slowly building, and performed in one take. the clip at the end is of my niece. the way she said, "sometimes i fall down" resonated with me a lot. i don't know why. or... i don't know. i guess i do.

there are dolls scattered across the floor. none of them are yours, they belong to me

Fog Lake - When?

i love you more than i thought was sober
you’re a flawless gem
i can see you in my smile

its your cartoon eyes
when you ask me if
when you ask if you can stay the night

i hold you close as we watch the ocean
under all the stars
we collapse through time and space

you kiss my neck
then whisper in
my eager ear

"will you fucking eat me out?
mother fucking eat me out
will you fucking eat me out
while my favorite shows on?"

eat me out demo

Penny of my Thoughts

lay awake 
counting all the time you waste 
sleep for days 
sink into the bed you've made 

left alone 
in a place you can't call home 
so get high 
don't tell your friends you want to die 

because that's life 
and its cruel 
and its wrong 
but you have to hold on 

because love 
can be felt 
in a song 
long after i'm gone 

so when i 
am put to death 
for the things 
that i've done 

just know 
that inside 
of my heart 
that you 
were the one

All I Wanna Do Is Get High With U In My Room - Dandelion Hands

this time is different
i feel different
lost under tension
fateful companion
your skin is frozen
my wounds closing
you overestimate
the ones you love the steps you take
i want us to be best friends but
maybe baby i cant pretend
when im asleep
is when you call me
don't talk too deep
we'll be sorry
find hope in nothing
we are nothing
i want us to be until the end
maybe baby i cant pretend

the pictures on my phone are all of you

dear valentine

i don't love you (my chemical romance cover)

seal girl cover

call me maybe (carly rae jepsen cover)

smoked so much till i could feel something
the cold resided i'm erupting
cleared the dew as a drip to the ground 

take my heart and twist my tongue
rip my teeth out one by one 
squeeze my arms so i don't feel so numb

did you know i'm not great at communication, i sit alone but my mind's abrasion wears me down

did you know, i'm too scared if scaring you off so i'll just leave

being dead is still better than being me (demo)

affirmations/sleepinstead (w/ stellanna music)

support @wishing-music
https://wishing.bandcamp.com/track/emptiness-is-a-closet-full-of-your-old-clothes

when everything feels empty, i rely on empty touch 
to ignore the days that i hate myself and i miss you too much 
and everyone feels cold when they lack something familiar 
there was light trapped where the sun was 
this is harder than i thought 

i will always look for you in the quiet empty nothing 
where you were convinced there was only dark and the sharpest objects 
i saw your coat. i saw it like a martyr sees its body 
i saw your coat like the shadow of a ghost that wouldn't leave here 
i saw your coat hanging in surrender like a white flag 
i saw your coat and i hate this 

this is harder than i thought

To Forget

wishing - emptiness is a closet full of your old clothes

i don't know if i'll be back this time seawolf cover

Follow For Follow
self promoter—referencing my dms
16
bandlab

comment visibility is turned off
this is my only soundcloud account
i do not post here anymore (and will not in the future)
go listen on spotify/apple music/whatever

dear valentine

dandelion hands

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