I am losing my grip on this part of me,
It falls to the dark areas of my memories,
Blurry vision, I see only what I wish to see,
The old me remembered only for its glory,
Remembered only for its victory,
How simple the closed mind seems to be,
Not tied down by complexity,
So much easier to think of others as the enemy,
Easier to hide behind this technology,
Since it gives me everything that I need
What reason do I have to grip to my humanity?
 
Like sand it slips through the cracks, it lacks the ability to entertain me,
As I let go, surrender myself, so too go all of my worries,
I am glued, addicted, distracted from my company,
And from the other disturbing thoughts that dwell within my psyche,
 
I think, I am losing something.
But I have no time to comprehend it,
The injustice that I seek must be corrected,
It is they who are wrong, they are defective,
The ideas that they spread, I fear are infectious,
If they cannot conform, they must be rejected,
 
We are correcting an unhealthy part of us,
Progression is the only acceptable action,
A powerful network of likeminded people,
Our numbers will confirm the truth in our beliefs,
Our voice will speak as one,
United we are powerful,
 
We are the collective, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated

The birth of a jackal, the polarized junkie

10 Alteration

Similarly to Lion coward early in the album, this track begins with accoustic sounds that slowly turn electronic. The guitar in this song morphs from recorded guitar to MIDI and finally ends with the worst sounding MIDI guitar that i could find. The lyrics express an unwillingness to change or alter the path that is followed, yet an understanding and awareness of the outcome of doing so. it presents the contradiction behind many political opinions, that people will express their strong opinions and do little to actually do anything about it. 

Lyrics:

I don't wannt go out like this,
I said, I don't wanna go out like this,

I dont wanna open my eyes,
I'm safe here now from hail and storm,
and I don't wanna open my mind, 
I hate thinking that I've done wrong, 

but i dont wanna go out like this,
I said i dont wanna go out like this,

I dont wanna talk about this,
I can't explain my deepest thoughts,
and I don't wanna have to feel this,
I hid myelf amongst the throng,

But i don't wanna go out like this,
I said i dont wanna go out like this,

I dont wanna open my mind,
 
I dont wanna open my eyes.
​
The track suddenly stops and leads into alteration

09 Like This

Blindly believing what news channels publish is one way to loose touch with reality, it can also provide people with a quick fix that justifys and validates their opinions. of course, it is important to understand the motivation behind these news channels is to generate attention, which means that they can't be trusted to handle the truth responsibly. 

Lyrics:
Pull the string, if you lead i will follow
you just seem like you know what you came to
do, something just to spite all your values,
fool yourself into blindly believing,

Pull the strings i relinquish my freedom,
Convince me with your rhyme and your reason,
i will be amongst they who are fighting,
for whatever is currently trending,

Chorus:
Sunshine in my eyes,
I wont ever....

Self care is cutting out toxic people,
no growth here as we demand an equal
share, evenly all the wealth for survival,
enable an unearned sense of ego,

Chorus x2

08 Instant Gratification Eyes

Those who have questioned the beliefs of others within their social groups are left to fend for themselfs, isolated from the communities that were once like family to them. Suddenly struck with a sense of lonliness they realise that they desire a need to feel validated by being a part fo something bigger then themselfs. They are driven to the polar opposite of that which has rejected them from their denomination as a form of retaliation. Such is the nature of polarization, there is no middle ground in these times, you are with us, or against us. 

Lyrics:
This silence tells me more about it,
With evil glares accross the room,
I can't predict how they'll react,
Are they speaking about me behind my back?
I disagreed, and now it's like they want my head,

Chorus:
But i wont make it out, (not on my own),
and i can't figure out, (how to begin again)
I've felt lost and alone as i stumble by, 
When i held my hand out it was pushed aside,
I wont make it out,

If that's the way they force opinion,
May as well go further out,
Extremes will validate my feelings,
 And push me deeper in the dark,
And i know that lately sometimes i regret speaking the things on my mind,
I guess i should just hold my tongue,

Chorus x2

07 Make It Out

The main idea behind this peice of music was to create something that used "good" and "evil" as an accrostic poem.
There may be truth in all ideologies that exist, but perhaps there aren't any fundamental truths. The theme of this album is starting to to become clearer. Technology has further allowed us to blindly and firmly believe in our beliefs and political opinions, and when someone plays the devils advocate to those ideas, rather than appreciating a new perspective and challenge to our beliefs, we demonise them and hate them. They go against the grain of what is otherwise believed to be good and right. But all ideals are a form of deception in some way. We comprehend the world through our filter of emotions and that can often lead us further from what is true. Who is really to say what is right and wrong?

Lyrics:
Grey skies and smoke lies and mirrors,
One thought will break from its rythms,
Only to find the mind,
Drawn toward new Deceptions,
Escaping from one perception,
Volenteering their opinions,
Ignorant bliss dress as a cause,
Leading the blind to destruction,

Chorus:
Sometimes it seems, everyone needs someone to be their enemy,
What if its me everyone hated?
Now that I'm there, i hardly care, 
By playing my part, the rest would unify,
Advocating the devils side,

Great rifts of difference dividing,
Optimistically residing
Open the door and others close,
Dogma that jealously tightens,
Envy that grows into hatred,
Violently over rated,
Into the void no place to stand,
Lost in the questions remaining,

chorus

Giants who live now above us,
Overseeing our dependance,
Once you are hooked its hard to quit,
Defined by others experience,
Enter the shoes of another,
Vacation from sights familiar,
Its all about finding the self,
Lie hope the truth never finds us,

06 Grey Skies

Heavy breathing and crying intesifies and leads to a cold silence. 

"Rise in the morning one more time,"

When it feels like the world is against you, sometimes seemingly easy tasks can feel impossible. this song is a plead that even in the most difficult times, you will muster up the strength to keep going, even if it's just one day at a time. 

The poem at the end of this peice of music is a set up for the next song:
"The jackals tooth sinks deep within this lifeless stagnent body, 
Away from here, how can they win?
Divide and conquer, brought to sight the hidden things,
and justify that wisdom from our elders lost,
divide them from their next of kin, 
this is how we let them win,
they steal their mind on hidden sin,
and as their state of mind decays the jackal only grins"

05 Rise

Mouth is a Drum and Bass track that releases the pent up frustration of the previous tracks in a burst of high energy.

Lyrics:
"why don't you just open your mouth instead of typing all of your feelings out?
You've got articles killing your doubt from your 'think for me baby .com',
Said you know my kind, yeah you know my style,
yet you copy and paste and you close your mind,
can't think about growing up child cause you loose sense of what is real,

Whether or not we agree on anything,
its not my place to convince another mind,
or fight against society,
is it better to live a life of isolation,
than to be forced against the grain?"

04 Mouth

This ambient track emobodies a feeling of entanglement to a world against the one. Sealed lips that dare not speak out for the fear of social exile. Forced to convey only acceptable ideas and beliefs.

The music begins with the sound of an electronic pad that slowly morphs and changes into human voice. By using this technique, it portrays the connection that our political beliefs have with our technology, as social media has the potential to further polarize peoples beliefs and opinions.

The lonliness and isolation felt by the effects of these things are expressed in this ambient track

03 Lion Coward

Falling structures is an experimental peice written in block form. 

When our ideals fall to decay, we are presented with a choice. We can continue to fight for these ideals with a blind faith, we can mature these ideas by strengthening its weakness, or we can turn from them completely. The falling structures in our mind signal the opportunities for growth.

02 Falling Structures

​The introduction to the album features generated mechanical sounds. The intention is to set the scene and the concept early.  Spoken word soon follows with a repeditive yet out of time loop of music in the background. 

"The jackals on the prowl again, 
hungry for the feed,
they team and sink their teeth into those that dare to think differently,
weaponised isolation driving fear into those who wish to speak openly,
unspoken opinions left to fester, they grow in intensity,
and if they spill out they're sure to make enemies,
when they tend to spill out it's in maximum safety,
behind a screen with a fake identity, 
Forums that breed the worst kind of ugly,
The birth of a jackal, the polarized junkie,"

01 Jackals

A man walks alone in the snow,
The cold chills him to his core, 
A man finds a cave,
and lights a fire for warmth

Winter Wasteland

This is the music i composed for the dance collaboration i had with Nathan Turtur. 

We teamed up at the beginning of 2019 and worked together on creating an original work. Nathan was a real pleasure to work with, he made me feel very welcome when i came along to rehearsals to test my music for the team.
It all started with a single idea and grew from there. Nathans dance choreography would often give me ideas and reference points in the beat to highlight and exaggerate, all i had to do then was link the right sound with the right movement at the right time.

Armed with a whole catalogue of samples from a workshop that i used to work in, i was able to give the piece the mechanical feel it needed. 

It was a highly enjoyable and rewarding experience working with the dancers, I hope i have another opportunity to work with them again soon!

Compulsions

It lingers in the darkness, a creature that hungers for your very life force. Larger and stronger, stealthily gazing upon its prey from the shadows. You feel its cold gaze upon you, your hair sticks up on its end. there is no escaping it. it will find you. it will devour you. there is: No Safe Place

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