HARUSPEX

julia set

WAKE UP! SLEEPING HEART!

mixtape 01

Indigo child 

Everything you believe 
Everything you could see 
Please watch me leave 
Standing knee to bending knee 
Beneath the sheets 
Please please me 
Today I bleed 
Watch me deplete 

Watch me dissipate 
And relate to me 
Like falling stars our fate 
Turns to mud 
Elongate the night 
And bring about the blight 
The bright burning star of morning light 
We fight 
And sleep apart 
Passing like 
ships in the night 

Watch me dissolving 
Into the ocean 
I am absolving 
All of the pain in the world 
Just let me have just one word 
Before I disappear 
I will leave you with a song 
Sang through broken lungs 

Silence becomes the night 
and then you take your life 
Slicing bright the veins 
And you scream 
You were right 


Make infinite the suffering 
Make amends for my atrophy 
I have broken the commandments 
I have become the luxury 
To be alive and to know the truth 
That every moment a whisper is fleeting sound 
Drowning is the language of my heart 
An indigo child with a mutilated cross
I will devour it all inside 
Littered along the path 
Scattered I become ash 
Snubbed out cigarette 
There was always a way and never a fight 


Please sing me to sleep my love 
This December is never ending 
I thought you said you would be back by now 

Please bring me peace in my passing 
Sing to me I am dissolving

indigo child

the beginning becomes the end v.1

trojan whores

legacy

CRUCIFUX

ARE YOU ASLEEP? INSIDE OF A MACHINE??

ASOMATOUS

WHO THE FUCK AM I? IS THIS REAL??

SERPENTINE

EXORCIST

wormwood - god don't bleed me out

Maybe when we die we get to go to heaven?

Champagne opened on New Years that didn’t feature me or my old tears.

I attempted to cry for you. I attempted to cry for you...

You are still my Gwenevere even though you are not currently here.

A nightingale comes to sing about chivalry on my windowsill.

I was there in Chauvet cave all those years ago and drew your profile against the stone wall by torchlight so you would see over and over again in history:

Our Love is the same as every game played out in the rain when tears come to your neck I’ll kiss them away.

Heard you were coming back, why would you go away?

Heard you were coming home; why would you wanna stay?

parousia

Wake.
My Love, summer’s almost over.
Summer is almost over.

They don’t give a fuck about knowing me I can see it in their eyes and I can’t offer anything of worth to let them know why I’m important.

I am triggered again and i feel so alone
I keep worrying that I will lose everything I own
I want to fall in love again but I keep falling apart
My Hopes are dissolving like the love note you wrote on my wall when I bleached it off

No one knows me and no one cares
I think I’ll call it a day soon
My life’s work in a drawer to never be heard
Is it more valuable to thrive or to fade away
All I feel is fucking shame

Once again I’m not fucking ok
Over and out and sing my dismay

When coming down, I’m by myself
I won’t say no
So let me go.
Please dear god sing a song of silence to my tender breaking soul
I’m a child inside my rusting metal frame
All I feel is fucking shame
Don’t pretend to love me when I have lost everything I own and I try to reach out but am only offered a broken hand, a silence like slicing sound sharpened on the blissful pain suspended perpetual like a come down I can’t remember the sound of your voice when I think about it now.

I heard a glimpse of you without my consent I caught a glimpse of you through a photograph breath like hopes eclipsed by the sound of your silence in response to my attempt to reach out with a letter and tell you how much you meant to me in another world another time and you can’t say a fucking thing to me in return.

I’ll be the boy with bright purple stars for you when you want me to.

I’ll stick around once a month or two: baby blues, don’t walk away. What have you got to lose, baby blues
say goodnight, say goodnight to me

I’ve been on the lam again, won’t you come and see me
I’ve been doing time again, wont you come and bring me hell
Wherever you go, I’ll go. We can just play along, we dont have to kow.

veal

Break your legs with my hands tonight
All across the ocean there is a Light

All of the times that I
Never even tried
Never even tried

Say my name
in the cold its been a cult it’s
in the dark

Seven tragedies in my head my brains are bleeding out I wanna
Rest my soul
Rest my sould in the dark

What’s my gentle atrophy
bloody knees scraped and bruised
Called it a due
Call it a day what have you got to loose
Sitting alone again
It’s getting so hard
Getting so hard to be me gotta take care of the reasons why
I can’t
Pretend anymore
Cannot live my life

Seventeen days left inside my head my mind is growing thin Pump the breaks on my fucking face and I’m going out to score again
give me a knife a nightgod black reverie Holy Sepulchur sings me to sleep
To the place of no return
Inside my mind I was born
Let me out let me in
Sing me to sleep, take me home
Leave me alone

crucifux

I will be quietly made of oceans inside your softening curves caress my throne my stars are falling your dress is coming unfurled rotting your corset sets my heart on blank death
I will be silently waiting the winters call my lover is on the telephone curling the cord around her fingers in the bathtub where you let slip your veins your lungs quake with oceans tongue your wrists were my wine like tasting the horizon with razor blades you whispered the end.
Silently I will be waiting cloned broken blonde in I have fallen in the well my nose is bleeding the coccain has rotten my happiness and loosened my noose around the future my chair my stool is rocking like your body it quakes in Alaska with visions I hold you in the dawn
There are other worlds where we grew together and continues to make collinear memories inside each other’s lips whispering chainsaws sleeping like drowned children growing in gardens feet first
Silently I am still licking at the trails of lace on my hands and broken feet I am a dog that you beat with your beautiful density the inside of your cunt like memories elicited each rose a different tone a song for my theremin all of my eulogies are made from broken stones cobbled together with glue. The horses tongues are cut to make nothingness.
I am still living in the spaces that you let me be inside your memory. There is still part of me that is living inside of the memories of you.
Your cunt tongue cuts the serrated roots of my fleshy song its poetry is made of dirt and sugary raspberries that I blow to you your neck is for my lovers bruising your fingertips for my stroking your heart for my engulfing you are mine for the taking the fruit is ripe on the vine
Silently I will be waiting like winters casket immortal beloved encased in glass roses and crystals. (I am just living to add layers to my eulogy)
Rotting like a falling tree the iron lung is pumping into your savage mouth; ;your viscous tentacles curl around my bleating appendages for you my atrophy wife

I am still silent through your winter ; the days are colliding shutter doors are creaking light is liquid sonic shattering pieces of fractal hope <if I collide the words to form my new thoughts you will know me> there is a formula for my pain. Animal carcasses torn from frames and turned into rugs their mounts mouths open against the fireplace glass eyes made for staring into darkness as am I, your accessory. I will the day made for the taking like stars have been cut from thoughts. I forgot how to muster the energy to create new worlds, but I have been digging in your rib cage and have found new ways to derive stories about the future of my heart.

I will be quietly waiting counting days crows are picking at the eyes of children sleeping in death breaking their legs and my heart is falling for the possibility that you will

haruspex

Do we stay inside our body until we are tired of being ourselves? And then linger on into another self..
walking into the door of a life that is becoming more like a poem and less like a story fractured structure plexiglass cast on my heart

The day was made for you

Please be true

Becoming more like me and less like you I punched out on God’s clock

I plucked my rotting eyeballs from their cave emotive limericks from the grave something in the body like phantom plague time stretched onward heavens grave

Heavens grave is my dismay may you come to me and say I fucked up I love you babe and I close the door in your
face

It’s all kinda blurry now I see with my ears and taste with fear

It’s colder now hold me my dear
I think I’m going to be alive next year
My art is young as is my heart
When you leave please lock the door
Fuck the day, the night, my Love.

heaven's grave

I’ve Been
You’ve made

I’ve gone away

All this time I wait
All this time I wait

Endless time I wait
Always you, you.
On a cross

Hallelujah

The day you met me I was ashamed all the ways
Sing me to sleep.

And if there’s a place for my pain to sleep
I want you to take you from from me
Ill take on a cross on a plane
no me, no one
not to speak to me on my name.

asomatous

You cross your heart
can you sing to me?
Sing to me,
Will you comfort me
When i’m alone in my home and your’e painting in your head.
Will you comfort me when I’m too strung out, alone.
Will you comfort me on a sad holiday when you may not want to be where I am, emotionally
Will you comfort me on a sad holiday, paint it red
Or have I lost my way o a sad holiday your’e my friend
Will you say hello, when you cross me and my windows comein through yours
will you sing to me on a sad holidy when I’m too strung out in the rain

This is my last day on the earth like a broken record plays baby on and on baby on and on with you
there’s a broken temple shaped like a machine in my chest cavity it’s my only way to be
sorry but I can’t stay, sorry but I cant stay.
Fucking made up, Fuck it played out.

Will you comfort me on a sad holiday when I’m too strung out to be ok
This is how I pray to my own personality
Baby it’s ok.

WIll you comfort me on a sad holiday when I’m away
please be true my dear, I’m yours for the moment, dissapear.

my last day

Hallelujah on the fence
He can’t wait
Hallelujah my love rests on the horizon
Where are you going my love;
My child

Bleeding inside, bleeding inside of you

My love, My child
Bleeds for you

Bleeding inside, pleading inside of you

Last night you were in my dream
Last night I woke without seeing you

Where are you

When you reach the end, you’ve just begun

…to feel…my heart beats
With broken feet, I run on and on unto the end

Hallelujah

hallelujah

When you’re leaving I’ll be pleading with you

I wake to the sunrise
Work is never done
Lies about how love could never die

A thousand years and the prophets still cry
A dollar made in profit is not worth a lifetime

Time flies when I’m having fun with you
Be my ghost, ill be your holy child

My mind is yours my body makes me quake
My mind is yours my body makes me ache
My mind is yours your body makes me quake

Eternal memories about the lover who would not wait

To the touch of gentle kisses on the brow
Ill bow down to the sound of distant bombs coming in to blow out the sound

All we ever knew of love was fun we were having fun
Holding you
You were holding me hostage to love like a reverie

Sundown like the lovers out of town maybe we won’t make it through the winter

Found a photo the other day
To my dismay it was not of you but of someone that I loved less

Drown
Like the day I went for a walk and ended up laying in the grass
Time without you doesn’t pass it just rots overcast
To black

I pass out at the first chance

I feel some relief in sleep like death its a belief that nothing ever happens when you dream
Except when I’m next to you

Im your Charlemagne and you my Gwenevere
Gently holding winters edges coming soon never doubt you dear

Be your lover on the phone in the end
Don’t doubt I’m coming home

Wishing I would be out of love with her
Out like a door made every fiber bleating that I held

Bleeding heart to hold forever
longing when she goes away like a cold when my hands are not inside of yours holding them

Child I was the favorite one
Dawn would take my love away
Hours I would sit and pray hoping my love would not go away

for B.E.S.

black horse

some simple way to be 
like I can feel today 
like I can't see you today 
like I can't sing you to death 
some simple way to feel 
like I am here today 
like I am here to stay 


drkpttrn

Pinned to spotlight

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