Confidence (self produced)

Confidence (self Produced)

yeah I think I just fucked up I just pushed away the love of my life again..
I’m up inside of my head again 
up at midnight using weed as my medicine 
talking bout them sad boi hours I’m boutta get em in 
I fuck up things way too fucking often 
and most of the time it’s because I’m sensitive I need to unsoften 
because if I don’t then I can guarantee that you’ll see me in a coffin 
I’m a fuck up, been one since birth 
it’s just fate that I’m presented with hurt 
and the knowledge to hurt other people it’s Bezerk 
it’s crazy 
sometimes I don’t feel like doin shit I’m so fucking lazy 
I sit around stuck in my head wondering what they’d say if I got a job pushing daisies
most of the time I don’t have a value for my life 
I leave work early and wonder why life gives me the knife 
wondering why I have stress and strife, 
I need to pay real good attention to my own advice 
I wish I could, 
but every day just feels like a loaded gun 
feels like death is having a staring contest with me for fun 
and I’m not on any medicine, I just run 
I run with the problems, I run and I cope 
I run from the demons, I try and avoid 
I run from my problems, I hit a slope
I trip and I fall, I fall on a point
life is a nonstop cycle of pain and self destruction 
it’s hard to do this shit without any instruction 
especially when you’re born into a family with dysfunction
mom and dad didn’t play one role in your construction 
then I look in the mirror and wonder why I’m fucked up
mom was a smack addict should I resort to the drugs? 
pops was an alcoholic and a crack addict, should I resort to the drugs? 
if I did would any of you motherfuckers really give a fuck? 
no you wouldn’t, 
you don’t have to play pretend with me, I see it 
I see that truth and I fucking breathe it 
most of you fuck with me just because I’m breathing 
I’m a good person at heart and people take advantage 
if I’m gashed in my heart tell me what good is a bandage 
I’m tired of living my life trying to micromanage 
maybe I should get up quit everything, and just vanish—————
but instead of doing that I’m gonna make sure my demons are banished 
I’m gonna get em out of my mind, they don’t get to eat they’ll be famished 
they don’t get to see my blood leak anymore, they’ll be parched 
these are all things you have to take into account have to do to heal a broken heart  
just take your time 
to build your mind 
you be thrilled 
when you realize 
you can turn the pain 
into a gold mine 
(turn the pain into a gold mine)
just keep pushin on, keep that 9-5 
whatever you do, just keep up the drive 
whoever’s around, love them while they’re alive 
whatever you’re doin, make sure to show the fuckin show the pride 
you got freedom of speech, soldiers have died 
mothers have cried, 
if you’re not religious let something be your guide 
don’t ever hide your pain, that’s a part of you 
you don’t have to open up, find an outlet 
put the pain into it 
and boom you’ve made something beautiful, 
Beauty is pain
life is a game 
I claim my name 
I hold no shame 
I’ve mistakes
I’ll do what it takes 
I’ll go through high stakes 
I’ll make the ceiling break 
life’s the leaves and I’m the rake 
I’m not hitting the brakes 
shots that I make be wet like a lake 
life’s a journey I need to be awake 
the demons I’m about to fuckin shake 
off of my leg, imma make 
em submit to me, I’m done letting them infect me like the plague 
this song itself was a lot of courage 
and im not letting hate discourage 
haters will say what they want,
but if I don’t pay attention, im oblivious like a wand 
the haters will play you and they’ll con 
you out of your happiness for no end result 
and that shit is pitiful , I can’t even toss subliminals 
because the things that they say are minimal 
compared to my talent, I’d say that I’ve got a miracle 
and the shit they say is just satirical 
but given the type of people it’s coming from it’s typical 
I’ve got one voice in each ear like a stereo 
I put every drop of my pain into music yo

DBO

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