my last name isn't ice cream

this song has helped me through so much. so yeah. here it is.
Photo/Painting creds: Calvin J. Truelove

skinny love-bon iver/birdy cover

everything is going to hell cover

lyrics:
Im floating in my bed
Thoughts pooling in my head
My teeth are chomping down on popcorn
I can’t feel my limbs
My body feels so dim
My brain receptors follow him

I feel sound 
I feel sight
I feel everything around me tonight

The moon man looks at me
His toothy grin widening
My heart drops all the way to my knees
My vision’s getting blurry
Oh god why can’t I hurry
I can’t remember where we began

thin mints and popcorn (DEMO)

the last demo before the album is officially released
(artwork done by allyssa van cuyk)

affection

cover of oliver tree's fucking banger
@daisynuke

alien boy (prod. daisynuke)

lyrics: 
I'm so scared of losing you
Walking out around just never feels the same without you
I've spent too many days and nights worrying about you
Who's gonna be there for me

I'm so tired of looking for you
I've been up all week not knowing what to say or do
How would you react if you see me walking down the road
Break out in a sweat and run into the forest

Scruffpuppie - clueless

lyrics:
so this is what you meant
when i saw you get distant
i begged and pleaded you
free of care you used
me to tie your shoes
to pick you off your blues
with all the wine we sipped
you never gave a shit

and now im lost inside a glass museum
what did i do to make you look to him
i thought the trip we had meant more
but now im hurting im so fucking sore

so this is what you meant
when u put it to an end

glass museum

lyrics:
i wasn't thinking
the night i told u all abt my feelings
but u jus listened
shared a smile or 2
i loved looking at u

i matched the distance
met u on a train and u made me think that i was going insane
but in a good way
if that makes any sense
i kind of enjoyed it

the distance

I tried
tried to explain how I wasn't right
and now I don't know how I will survive
shadows round me I don't even mind
mind

you lied
lied about the things you couldn't hide
so I stopped caring stopped trying to fly
amidst all of these feelings I'm so high

rest your head inside of mine
fill it up with pretty lies 
and I'll try to get a clue so I can open up to u
and start breaking ur heart instead of mine
every time
if I got time
I don't have time
every time

time (ft. spencer)

while the pretty petals of the flower u gave me begin to fall
stories told to me by lovers who had never seen at all
what will the monsters do when all I'm ever scared of is the truth
bags under my eyes
I'm up all night
Thinking abt u
ooo

petals

speak
but do it softly
for the creatures in my ceiling they are listening to our conversations
look
they caught us staring
and we run away for days and days hoping that this isn't all for nothing

untitled - 10/14/19, 9:01

how many times do I have to say why
why it never really seemed like I tried 
I ran thru the dirt and I scuffed up my shoes
I treated the wounds and I iced up my bruise
the pain this all caused made me suck up to u
so why must I wait, validate you
and pick all the trash up I kept stepping on
my brain can't take it
I'm yelling oh my god
oh my god
oh my god

Carrington Ln

lyrics:
sometimes i gotta settle down and get out
you told me everything you said we cried out
and i saw you going down the hill i chased you
tripped scraped my knee and overheard the sky blue
and i found the polaroid you took in my room
and thoughts that are overwhelming me just break through
why can't the world acknowledge anything we do
trying so hard but we never really made do

broken hearts make for good words 
but it sucks when we get hurt
i wish i was clear

sometimes we fight and scream and yell and shut up
wish i could communicate feelings boxed up
life's pain and art so i try to relate to
everything i can possibly hold onto

drugs and love
aren't enough
when i see you
my world lights up
i wish u were clear

sometimes- demo

lost and found (original)

lyrics:
broken love
has no trust
winding down
i see now
the pillars were made of 
flour and sawdust
fragile and sandy and it's making me cut
off all of the ties i have strung along and i
cry

fissured fuck
taking drugs
so careless
floral dress
sewn from soft cotton it makes me feel rotten
drowning the bugs making them all fall in love
drowning all of the bugs
making them all fall in love

flour and sawdust (demo)

doing all the things i used to do wif ppl-cover (redo)

Scruffpuppie - carelessness (demo)

music video: https://youtu.be/dpTSzwYpQqM
My first studio recorded single!!
lyrics:
i don't know why i can't see
my vision's getting real blurry
my legs are numb my arms are weak
my body has a fleeting feeling
took the hit and held it in
and then my lungs start to expand
fill all the cracks and crevasses
i can't go back towards my friends

geometry embraces me
my ego's gone and so empty
now it's dark and nothing has need
i'll write you back when i can breathe

lyrics:
baby comes home to kill himself
his thoughts scattered across the shelf
mother tries to keep him safe
broken and angry she can't replace
a double life
the pain i hide
i can't let you see inside
please just let me breathe
i need air and i need speed

drinking the poison to stay awake
sober and colder inside my brain
8 missed calls i try to break
apart the sins i tried to claim
i am nothing a disgrace
stuck against the drugs i take
sniffing blow until i break
you don't know how much i hate
being apart of anyone
i bring depression with my songs
it's hard not to let them down
when all that i can do is frown

im your son
i came home
i tied the noose
i let you go
im dangling  
my visions black
and now there is no going back

baby comes home to kill herself

one of my favorite songs in the world, and one of my favorite bands

my last name isn't ice cream

dec.isk