produced by @jolst and @sainttomorrow <3
out now on youtube through biteki & static:
https://youtu.be/DWpNablizm0
https://youtu.be/nEK_a4oFms8

music video:
https://youtu.be/95Kayd1Rpiw

hope u enjoy :)

lyrics:
i let my soul drift away just to feel something again
i sold my conscience for free, nothing to see but a man without his skin

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

plenty people consider hitting my phone again
i don’t mind but i’d rather just be alone again
findin peace in my soul life ain’t that innocent
if i wanted em to be, things would be different
quiet nights in my attic, now the static is loud
i just wanna see my dad again and make him proud
tired of the recycled life i’m bottling up
smoked a little bit too much and now i’m throwing up

whats in the water, i wonder...
sink to the river, discover
see my reflection in ripples
i think i need you a little
more than i’d admit
i find it hard to reminisce
feel my stomach start to twist
and now i’m back with those i miss
woahhh

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

enter the forest, forget life
i’ve done this shit for the last time x2

enter the forest, forget life

enter the forest, forget life [p. jolst x saint tomorrow]

spotify!

enter the forest, forget life [jolst x saint tomorrow]

new midwest emo track w/ @salemavenue :)
produced by @nevrfall
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
[decks]
college has ruined me, my mind is cloudy
wake up each morning im drowsy
feel like nobody’s around me
i just wanted to be happy
living this life is so tiring
nothing in this town inspires me
im not alive just to die,
see through my eyes,
and maybe you’ll find that

i might just fly away for a while
im sober in the candlelight, but sleeping in denial
i’d do anything to see you smile
this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

[salem avenue]
i’m always falling down
pick me up and lift me off the ground
i act like it’s all over now
but really i just fill my head with doubt
and where would i go anyways?
when i don’t wanna ever make a sound 
maybe i’ll just fade away
find myself another in this ghost town 

yeah it goes down
pick me up 
i don’t wanna feel alone now
it’s so cold out 
i feel blue now 
pick me up
i don't wanna feel alone now
like they do

[decks]
(living this life is so tiring)
(nothing in this town inspires me)
(im not alive just to die)
(see through my eyes and maybe you'll find that)

i might just fly away for a while
im sober in the candlelight, but sleeping in denial
i’d do anything to see you smile
this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

sober in the candlelight (feat. salem avenue) [p. nevrfall]

sober in the candlelight (feat. salem avenue) [nevrfall]

hiraeth. eight months in the making.
featuring: @onlyfriendyeah
produced by: @lindenblossom
cover art by: @ejcarrmusic
i hope you enjoy <3
thank you for everything.

lyrics:
it feels like im missing something
a portrait unfinished
my life has been next to nothing
a chord thats diminished

cuz i’ll wait for change
and better days
just to come home with nothin
or maybe i’ll
just stay the same
cuz im too good at suffering
and i could always
take the blame
for all of my shortcomings 

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(onlyfriend)
maybe it's all for nothing
all the choices i make lead me closer to the coffin
no i can't take the weight of the changes
and i don't rly know what i'm doing
just pretend that you can't see me fading
and shy away raising no alarms
like i'm safe from harm
when i'm too far gone
and i can't hear a word from you

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(both)
hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

madison & 1st, night lights in a coffin
w/ @betweentheveinsandi
prod. @sadboiforever
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
yeah u can take my life if u want it
file thru the pain, small prize if u block it
and i never been ashamed, cut ties if im wantin’
u came here to play, eat shit where ur talkin
cuz im sayin u can take my life if u want it
madison and 1st, night lights in a coffin
i cant ever fall asleep, twist spine pretty often
bored of counting sheep, yet fine feelin nothin

and im saying with dusk comes dawn
another painful day where the night feels wrong
& i’ll stay inside tonight so i can weather the storm

my mind
a fragile portrait of my architecture
my spine
is broken by the words that i have dragged along
inside
i’ve spent so long for progress to force me backwards
alive
im glad i am, its hard to carry on

veins:
Take my life if u want it 
I don't really give a shit 
2 shots that's a warning 
And I don't make ties they just loosen with time 
Back when throwing up was the best part of our lives 
Oh what u say book a hospital stay 
All the times and the days that u tried to run away 
Despite what u say I think ur mom is pretty sweet 
Cause if u always be the victim then u always live in pain 
She said that break ups suck 
But I don't think she gives a fuck 
And I don't think that meaning from a broken heart just takes a fuck 
Woah 
Laid back 
I'm at terms with the past 
And I'll follow the act 
Just tell me how to act  

yeah u can take my life if u want it
file thru the pain, small prize if u block it
and i never been ashamed, cut ties if im wantin’
u came here to play, eat shit where ur talkin
cuz im sayin u can take my life if u want it
madison and 1st, night lights in a coffin
i cant ever fall asleep, twist spine pretty often
bored of counting sheep, yet fine feelin nothin

and im saying with dusk comes dawn
another painful day where the night feels wrong
& i’ll stay inside tonight so i can weather the storm

take it, it's yours (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [2001]

we all need time to bloom...
prod. @prodmichael
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by @jolst
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
if i take the time i find
some part of me is left behind
i’ve broken thru the ice
and now i need a place to dry

we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

and i can feel it gettin better
i wanna be here forever
the trees are all turnin red
and i love her to fuckin death and i

saw this coming, no more running

i been livin like a dweller
im sinkin into my bed
and im hiding under the sheets
cuz my hair is a fuckin mess but i

saw this coming, no more running

if i take the time i see
im needing closure desperately
i failed to close the chapter of my life
i was living previously
what to do?
where to go?
i can’t handle questions, no
i do better living never
shitty weather suits me so
well
so well
if u ask me how im doin i won’t say im doin
so well
so well
cuz the time it takes
will lead the way for me

we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

and i can feel it gettin better
i wanna be here forever
the trees are all turnin red
and i love her to fuckin death and i

saw this coming, no more running

i been livin like a dweller
im sinkin into my bed
and im hiding under the sheets
cuz my hair is a fuckin mess but i

saw this coming, no more running

we all need time to bloom
we pick and choose, we win and lose
we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

bloom [xmichaelwarren]

not for profit

original:
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson/lock-da-doors-samashi

love y'all, hope u enjoy
thanks for making this song king @sewerperson
shoutout samashi

lock da doors (cover) [samashi]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i press pause & rewind
it all feels like a movie
maybe thats how i kill time
i swear its amusing
i make a victim of myself
& im crying to no one
its a cycle of nature,
and i live in darkness,
no moon & no sun 

i hope this reads like a letter
whenever you hear it
nothing would make me feel better
than knowing u feel it too
this island it paints me blue
sincerely, it’s cause of u
the way the leaves they hold me
it almost feels like u got to know me 

[evan]
wave after wave 
and i’ve been drowning in a sea of my own thoughts
a clear image of everything i’m not 
hold on and hope it’s not a lot

i know this too well 
here reading the same old story 
i’m stuck in this cycle 
all i can do is wonder if 

are you coming to save me 
i’m empty 
pull me out of the shit that’s preventing me
is it too late to get out of this 
draw my name in the sand are you coming to save me 

are you coming to save me 
am i coming to save me
i put it all line 
draw my name in the sand 
are you coming to save me

stream everywhere!

VIII. sincerely (ft. evan carr) [jolst x pekarot]

good night
enjoy

lyrics:
tell me how to feel
tell me how to live
clearly i dont know
cuz now i rly cant forgive
put ur heart in a keepsake 
tellin him shit that we’d say
i smoke up for the relay
used to think that every
thing i’d say was backwards
shit i didnt matter
hard to cope at all
when i hear is all the chatter
my mind is fixed on my passion
i struggle with takin action

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

tell me how to cope
late december snow
blurry photographs
its chilly in the autumn cold
u know i miss u, farther
than we’ve been before
i know it got too hard
thats why im gone for good

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

easily, in fact [autrioly]

whats the problem?
prod. @imcaves
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
whats the problem
i try not to think ab it in the long run
say it louder to convince myself i’m awful
i see ur face n think i’ll never pass the autumn
ain’t it funny how that works
never knew how much it hurt
put a price atop my head i got a target
thought i need more attention now i’m starving
i knew myself a whole lot less than i regarded
now ur over me w him
i don’t know where to begin

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light

suffer, suture wounds
i crushed my future; tomb
i’d see the sun
if you’d just move a bit
puncture lungs removed
tell me what u do
when night hits
everything is new again

whats the problem
isnt this all that u wanted in the long run?
i could spend my days just waiting for a phone call
but if i did then i wouldnt be someone u want
aint it funny how that works
i’ll just lie down in the dirt
u can bend me how u wanna cuz i like that
i miss how you’d make me hurt i never fight back
i know that it didnt work but yet despite that
i’m a sucker for ur love
i thought it was kinda fun

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light
i'll never

brave bird [caves]

spotify, apple, etc.

does our love die?
prod. @silversxo
ep coming soon...
hope u enjoy <333

lyrics:
so tell me when the night stops
does our love die
maybe just the heartache’s
worth it for a short time
if it were up to me
i’d avoid this feeling totally

if maybe for a second
i’d be honest
the guilt that i’ve been feeling
would respond with
a lack of uncertainty
i’d avoid that feeling totally

so what if
i moved on for the better
twin beds & ties both severed
unconsciously both knowing
this ain’t gonna work forever
been dealing with myself and
i’d just rather feeling nothing
i can’t just carry on
knowing ur out there
like its nothing

drawn shades protect my body
never felt so uncomfortable
im trying to stay strong but
being alone makes u wonder where ur life goes

ever since [silver]

spotify & apple music

all i've got
produced by @imcaves
art by me
hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:

its hard to focus on life as of late
i’m simple and losing my name
what good does it do to be brave
when i’m always right back to this place?
i wanted to think there was more to life
i hoard advice from all my peers
you know that it hurts when the words are right
i’m sure that i could dry your tears
i knew how it felt to be empty
but without you i’m barely alive
the rain on my window is melting my wishes
of things being different this time
i really hope you’ve got it figured out
i know it hurts to see me now

sunsets & unrest & moonlight
rewrite the past for the last time
i’m stuck again at a red light
eyes close tonight as you pass me by
i never thought i would feel like this
say the word and i’m yours again
i know i shouldn’t just give in
but in the end, you’re the one that i’ve always wanted

im sorry for being the worst
& kicking my thoughts to the curb
i know that the truth isnt easy but 
i could get over myself & the hurt
i’m speaking my mind for the first time
i’m trying to put up a fight
you know how its been for me lately
i wish u were here tonight

learning to lose

good light pt. 2 [caves]

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

my personal favorite
produced by my friend @everythingmackk
<3

lyrics:
it started then
n now we’re here again
dont want a friend
we cant be close again
lets not pretend
dont wanna go thru that again

with all the time passed,
nothin rly changes anymore
now i digress;
leaving what i’ve got before its more
i need to find that
i cant see the sunlight thru the storm
u know no matter the weather
im always back to that letter

i gotta find me
i don’t know the person i’ve become
i see the lightning
striking while ur finding other love
i haven’t felt like this in a long time
i don’t exist in ur life while u haunt mine

breathing is slow,
winter is cold
say idk i don’t like that
what do u know
making our bones
told u that i couldn’t fight back
& every time we drove past thru Verona
the cold summer snow was reflecting ur aura
she said to take it outta me
the words i never said
so i went thru our dichotomy
& struck a nerve again
maybe it was fuckin cowardly
to sit where u had spent
but the wage i work is hourly
& u live in my head
right, you live in my
head on backwards
the lanes mix up
& the game’s unmastered
hey the plans break up
but we can make up
all the facial expressions
were never enough
to show u

with all the time passed,
nothin rly changes anymore
now i digress;
leaving what i’ve got before its more
i need to find that
i cant see the sunlight thru the storm
u know no matter the weather
im always back to that letter

i gotta find me
i don’t know the person i’ve become
i see the lightning
striking while ur finding other love
i haven’t felt like this in a long time
i don’t exist in ur life while u haunt mine

i might be invisible [mackk]

conclusion; the end of an era
produced by @idlyblare
<3

lyrics:
sing me a song and tell me everything is normal
its been months since i had felt at all, im tryna keep it formal with the
things that i say to those who don’t quite get the most of me
its harder to find out when
they’re leaving

find me a stone & write my name in tiny letters
if u throw it far enough then you and i are stuck together for the
rest of our years or just as long as you put up with me
i know that it has to end
you’re leaving

so if i go
no complaints
we’ll take it slow
until we break

i shop the windows of this breezy inner city
hoping for some inspiration, maybe i’ll find something pretty in the
regurgitation of my life in front of you
i put myself for sale, just wondering
if you still want me too

i break the habits of my past, im nothin better than a
old pair of shoes that no one wears until they gotta
but its
nothing personal
something terminal

i saw the rain
reflecting off your windowsill
i took the pain i gathered
turned it into chlorophyll
who knows the way
we’ll fall back into open arms
i tried to find it comforting
here i am with battle scars

chlorophyll [idly blare]

they should NOT have given me fl studio
prod. @cherryrizla & @jolst
art, mix, master by ya boy
new music biweekly again lets get it
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
focus
my conscience
is losing
its’ progress
toxic
to talk
when its often
an option

all on me
u can fall on me
if i fall behind
would they all just leave
i can hold ur hand
we can both succeed
i can play that game
we can go unseen

baby all on me
u can fall on me
where im at right now
isnt so daunting
i dont want your hand
but its what i need
if we lose it all
u are all i need

taking time for the fast life
imagine my past life
i needed this growth
in a million ways
under scope of a past light
i knew what u asked, right?
i followed it up & you stayed

if we talk about what’s got you upside down
i think we’ll work it out, is that a lot to count on?
down and out, i know u can’t right now
i’ll always come around, i want to be someone to count on
and i know what ur saying
i want u to prosper
i wanna look after you
one & another
a hug from my mother
a talk with your father
i’ll never forget it
the time by the water

all on me
u can fall on me
if i fall behind
would they all just leave
i can hold ur hand
we can both succeed
i can play that game
we can go unseen

baby all on me
u can fall on me
where im at right now
isnt so daunting
i dont want your hand
but its what i need
if we lose it all
u are all i need

all on me
u can fall on me
if i fall behind
would they all just leave
i can hold ur hand
we can both succeed
i can play that game
we can go unseen

unseen

unseen [cherryrizla x jolst]

4035108
b17d5 3y3
==============
@fleshgolem
h0pe u enjoy <3
==============
lyr1cs:

u couldn’t make it up
i couldn’t if i tried
n i been stayin up
i wanna make it by
if i could grant 1 wish
i’d be right by ur side
look at the positives
i swear to god i’ll try

when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
i might be 0 for 3 but im keeping it steady
u know the pieces that prospered took years to finally be ready
and when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
i might be 0 for 3 but i’ll try if i’m able
i never saw the other side till i was turning the table

i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night

sun sets on the east coast when i’m
breaking away from pressure
mess with the sheets, don’t bother me
(its not like i have a choice)
digress, all the details piling up
tell me its not forever
test: all my patience, what the fuck?
(you know that you have a choice)

so when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
(you know that you have a choice)
i might be 0 for 3 but im keeping it steady
u know the pieces that prospered took years to finally be ready
(you know that you have a choice)
and when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
(you know that you have a choice)
i might be 0 for 3 but i’ll try if i’m able
i never saw the other side till i was turning the table
(you know that you have a choice)

i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night

bird's eye [flesh]

new cover w the brother @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @nevrfall
=================
original by @sewerperson:
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson/lrt-nevrfall
=================
hope u enjoy <3

LR7 w/ betweentheveinsandi (cover) [nevrfall]

w1th0ut 4 tr4c3
f4b13
==============
@jolst & @punkworldthreat
art: @ejcarrmusic
ep soon...
==============
lyrics:

aint shit hard for me at all
i be down so much i forget i know how to ball
i can’t get enough when im wit u i want it all
i been up i cannot fall
hit the pen then dip im writin fables on the wall
hear my story loud im quiet im not standing tall
i cant rly stand up for myself much anyway
feel the consequences while im withering away

back n im takin the backseat
baby i need to relax we
takin it quicker than maxi
yeah, uh
thick skull like a pachy (dinosaur reference)
order up for the pack meet
re up at the acme
i been on go so long i forget how to sit down
i smoke double duffel bag i cannot sit down
i know shit always come up so i dont go out
this the hardest part of livin on my own now
no one ever ask me why im on my own now
shit like this why im always in a break down
this november so much colder than the last one
maybe thats a sign i gotta move it past ya

aint shit hard for me at all
i be down so much i forget i know how to ball
i can’t get enough when im wit u i want it all
i been up i cannot fall
hit the pen then dip im writin fables on the wall
hear my story loud im quiet im not standing tall
i cant rly stand up for myself much anyway
feel the consequences while im withering away

its silence that haunts me
i cant focus im watching
where u go when im talking
u once told me u want me
whats the point in such conflict
life is futile and short lived
i cant spend it in jersey
losing friends before thirty, fuck

i been wasting so much time
next thing i know 20s gonna pass me right on by
gotta get it goin fore im running out of time
always running out of time

without a trace

fable [jolst x punk]

spotify & apple

w1th0ut 4 tr4c3
v13wf1nd3r
==============
@jolst & @toobears
ft. @fantasycamp
art: @ejcarrmusic
ep soon...
==============
lyrics:

(decks)
i cannot try
i cannot fight for u
baby in all my life
nothing was right before u
u know i miss it
nothing is given
not gonna push my luck
but i'm here when u need it

i see flaws, nothing lost
not worth losing sleep
a hundred calls, in the fall
what it meant to me
i just reminisce on you all the time
i cycle thru all the views, i can’t find her
i’m the viewfinder

trail of tears where i lay
set to rinse and decay
i confess what i say isn't real
my image is homemade
but baby, we’re falling out
i can’t say how
lets live for now
i'm trying to see this out
i won’t look now
we’re upside down

i don't know how i got here
one step too far ur gone
i wish i had an answer

i cannot try
i cannot fight for u
baby in all my life
nothing was right before u
u know i miss it
nothing is given
not gonna push my luck
but i'm here when u need it

i see flaws, nothing lost
not worth losing sleep
a hundred calls, in the fall
what it meant to me
i just reminisce on you all the time
i cycle thru all the views, i can’t find her
i’m the viewfinder

(fantasy camp)
i'm looking out
but i can't seem to find you wherever i go
where are you now?
been a wreck since the night that you left me alone
so where you at? come and stay by my side
i won't forget all the nights that you cried
but you're the one that i need and can't find
now i'm falling behind
so can you save me? be my baby
goin crazy without you lately
maybe i'll just hit your phone and try to remind you
wherever i go, I can't find you

viewfinder (ft. fantasy camp) [jolst x toobears]

new lil piano ballad w my goat @greenwood2002
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
if i told you what it felt like to me
you’d be scared too
cause in the matter of a past light, for me
this is brand new
paint the ashes on the sunrise
cause i can’t stand to watch the moonlight hitting you
i’m in trouble but i’m alright, i think
long as i got you

if it’s sudden i’m sorry
my words aren’t working quite yet
it’s been a while since
i’ve felt, nothing less
than a miracle both of us met 
in the depths of it all

i probably needed a warning
but life only gives one chance, i know
you’re scared, i get it, i’m sorry
maybe it would be best if i took you home

cause if i told you what it felt like to me
you’d be scared too
and i don’t care about a past light, i think
i just want you
paint the ashes on the sunrise
cause i can’t stand to watch the moonlight hitting you
i’m in trouble but i’m alright, i think
long as i got you

long as i got you

long as i got you [greenwood]

apple n spotify <3

song of the summer meet rock bottom
with my main man @ejcarrmusic
ep in two weeks !!!
enjoy <3

lyrics:
blink your eyes and it’s here
the pit of all the years
immune from any ending
think fast your stories changing
so sort through the jumbled mess
of old times and stale regrets
as long as you get
what all this truly meant

take a breath
and walk those steps
as you fear the depths
of whatever comes next

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind

go ahead

sometimes its on your doorstep
sometimes u take the fall
i took it on the shoulder
i lost myself in it all
and it gets hard to recognize the person that i was
i said goodbye a hundred times and never understood

the reasons beneath us
you’ll never forget how it feels
a sequence of treason
could never bend us to my will
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good?

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good
bye
bye
bye
bye

go ahead, say goodbye

go ahead, say goodbye w/ evan carr [immortal]

spotify & apple <3

i knew it at 17 that you'd haunt me
//
prod. @fleshgolem & @pekarot_161
===================
lyrics:

i cant imagine how exhausting
it must be
just to want me
in the peak of october;
flaunting
what its like to be seen
i won’t live out this dream
i knew it at 17
that you’d haunt me,
you’d haunt me

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

take me, break me
i know lately
i haven’t been at my best love
it isnt all what it seems so
make me stay please
its been fading
i know its all evocation
you know i’d never erase it

well, its all in the past, thats fine
i wonder what could’ve been that night
i’m always down on my luck in spite
of all the times that you proved me right
love, what’re we doing standing here?
i don’t wanna be angry but it’s all thats here

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

<resize frame>

the eleventh hour

the eleventh hour [flesh x pekarot]

resize frame - track 1

crowd vox ft. birdbay, sagebrsh, flesh golem, evan carr, matt kelly, & homesick

lyrics:
if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

i never lost my composure
feel like i’m the only one thats getting older
well if the silence passed,
then i may get mine back
run my mouth like a motor
never filter, only book it in a folder
if you could have my back
i prolly wouldn’t run so fast

four years gone, what can i say?
my life’s all broken and frayed
to find love i had to put on a face
now i regret it as im walking in place
eyes up, are you lacking in shame?
i knew once that i was finding my space
two ones like the eyes of a snake
i knew once that you loved me the same

if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

break it all down
i wanna know what you stand for

all the pain grows between the lines

i had to find out
why you lead with that candor

sever those binds to hang me dry

crack in the wall [flesh]

spotify & apple !

@fleshgolem // @jolst
art by me
single 4
resize frame

lyrics:
i remember catching up in december
iridescence in the snow on your face
being healthy is a lot to remember
even worse when someone new’s in your place
i could tell you how i’ve been bout whenever
but who i am isn’t a gracious parade
i know i should’ve written this in a letter, nah
its better written so it loops in your brain

its all silence, it fucks with me, merely
oxygen, saving me, nearly
posthumous, i’m given what fears me
and with the life i’m given, i’m steering
off of a, cliff hoping it kills me
honesty won’t change how i’m feeling
talk to me, cold shoulder, no meaning
so with the life i’m given, i’m healing

it’ll all make sense in time
it’ll all make sense in time

i remember how it felt when you kissed me
time froze when you looked my way
on your neck a keepsake if you missed me
still i feel my heart sink when i think about

it snapping, you fucked with me, dearly
oxygen, saving me, nearly
posthumous, i’m given what fears me
and with the life i’m given, i’m steering
off of a, cliff hoping it kills me
honesty won’t change how i’m feeling
talk to me, cold shoulder, no meaning
so with the life i’m given, i’m healing

it’ll all make sense in time
it’ll all make sense in time
it’ll all make sense in time
it’ll all make sense in time

twist the knife

twist the knife [flesh x jolst]

based this off of a creative writing project i been doin for school lol
+ @jolst
enjoy <3

lyrics:
i couldn’t wait another damn day
chains on my neck
and a heart in my vest
know i couldn’t, was a second too late
thought i was inept
wasn’t ever catching breath
whats a god to a man two faced
if it isn’t all thats left
could you find me before death
i’ve been down and i’ve been too baked
the problem isn’t next
is it pride to resurrect?

i’ve been thinking bout the both of us
is it hard to admit that its right for the both of us?
can a chance be a wish, if its right
for the bulk of us
i wish we weren’t breathing
take me down to hell
i’ve seen a demon
get me back to earth
i feel anemic
down and on my knees
while you were speaking

barking orders up my neck
just send me another check
once was written, laid to rest
i’ll be damned if i’m up next
but only on the cold nights, when the time’s slow
if im alright, its a bit old
i could draw up, all the plans i’ve got
but a funeral is more likely than not

i couldn’t wait another damn day
chains on my neck
and a heart in my vest
know i couldn’t, was a second too late
thought i was inept
wasn’t ever catching breath
whats a god to a man two faced
if it isn’t all thats left
could you find me before death
i’ve been down and i’ve been too baked
the problem isn’t next
is it pride to resurrect?
i’ve been thinking bout the-

project mercury [jolst]

w/ the goat @matt-kelly-115 from pet rock olympian
prod grayskies
merry christmas <3

lyrics:
just another month wasted 
on someone who’s never there for me 
i’m getting sick of your shit 
please cut the line and set me free

and its not like i don’t care at all
my stomach just cant handle all 
the back and forth
what am i asking for?
now im stuck and i feel terrible
the presence, more than bearable
but i cant afford
i think i’ll start a war

over
something stupid
convoluted
something used
when im still useless

when the time it takes will heal all these wounds
i just leave the battleground feelin screwed
its a problem, you don’t care about who
you’re hurting too

never realized what i couldn’t do
i’m not the one who’s gonna fix you
it took some time to see that we’re better off as two

i think i know what i’m facing
its a problem with sincerity
trust i know thats it worth it, i’m sure it’s
perfect, in a world thats only you and me

and i just cant decipher intentions
when you say it’s never meant to be
you said that we could still be friends
but i’ve been there and i’ve done that
we make up and go through the motions 
mess with my head
you wind up in my bed again 

when the time it takes will heal all these wounds
i just leave the battleground feelin screwed
its a problem, you don’t care about who
you’re hurting too

never realized what i couldn’t do
i’m not the one who’s gonna fix you
it took some time to see that we’re better off as two

hook, line, and sinker w/ matt kelly [grayskies]

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

tether (ft. greenwood) [triple gemini]

track 2 off my upcoming LP, BYSTANDER
self produced
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by david kowalski
thank you <3

lyrics:
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

i sent a search team out to find u
they said u were dead
i crawled for miles cuz i couldn’t
believe what they said
as i was digging, i woke up
in a visceral sweat
i read your text again but
i won’t be answering it

say what you need i might
pay for the dream i write
(everything, anything)
no one could see quite right
i paralyzed my life
(find you in everything)
i found more ways to hurt myself
my own words acting as a hell
you say it doesn’t have a meaning
i don’t think you know me that well

i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

ACHE

new song with @prod-brntbrdgs go follow them rn
thanks for everything <3

lyrics:
i keep waking up at night
i got u on my mind
the memories we made are still so fresh that im blind
i wanna take it all back
i wish i had another chance
i wanna tell you that im doing fine at a glance

but im not
and i miss
every text
every wish
i just stay up at night 
tryna make it all right
but i can’t
and i know
that you’re not
coming home
i don’t want you to leave
please just lay here with me 
before i go

i been wondering
how u felt about
u and i cuz we
had a falling out
i don’t wanna relapse
i don’t want another fall back now
i dont wanna have to worry bout us
i can’t worry bout trust
i can’t fall back down

im just so tired of this
all this shit breaking my tolerance
im losin my mind thru all of it
how u build it back up just to follow it
down, down to the ground
all that i worked for’s irrelevant now
stay in my room and im thinkin out loud
thought that i finally got over you now

but im not
and i miss
every text
every wish
i just stay up at night 
tryna make it all right
but i can’t
and i know
that you’re not
coming home
i don’t want you to leave
please just lay here with me 
before i go

before i go (p. brntbrdgs)

before i go [brntbrdgs]

lyrics:

[hook]
at night time i sleep till the sunrise
the skyline reminds me of better times
i found you when i wasn’t alright
im losing you now, but thats just fine

wake up and the sky turned pitch black
my eyes sewn shut like a face mask
don’t want your love but i need that
yeah i need that
you left me here, won’t forget it
i need you here im indebted
remember times that we said it,
love was a message, you just never read it

[verse]
i don’t know what to say to you anymore
it feels like every conversation’s just another door
i don’t wanna commit to something that i’ll regret
so i’ll just leave and you will see that we were never meant

[jayavem]
if i could fall asleep in your arms every night i think i’d be just fine
and it gets harder every day that i’m not with you but we’ve got plenty of time

i mean it when i say i need you
listen to me when i talk cuz i’m not see through
i can’t fall apart again
so don’t make me call you a friend (x2)

[hook]
at night time i sleep till the sunrise
the skyline reminds me of better times
i found you when i wasn’t alright
im losing you now, but thats just fine

wake up and the sky turned pitch black
my eyes sewn shut like a face mask
don’t want your love but i need that
yeah i need that
you left me here, won’t forget it
i need you here im indebted
remember times that we said it,
love was a message, you just never read it

skyline (ft. jayavem) [p. nevrfall]

skyline (ft. jayavem) [nevrfall]

love y’all
little holiday song for u
happy new year everyone

lyrics:
i been feelin down, i been under the weather
gray skies, snow falling, now i feel a bit better
i got coffee in my hand and im wearin a sweater
i can only hope next year will be a little better
i been feelin down, i been under the weather
but i know everything’s okay, i just gotta remember
that everything is temporary and this isn’t forever
i can only hope that next year will be a little better

5 days till i’m home free
sidelined with my homies
bye bye to the old me
chilled out by my lonely
curfew till morning
life’s pretty boring
ain’t got no warning
now back to the story
im sat by the fire
fridays im higher
can’t fuck with liars
im sad and im tired
christmas was last week
but im still relaxing
im chilled out at my house
so if you want beef then don’t @ me

come save me
im falling
don’t waste my time
if im calling
im waiting
for something
to change my life
cuz im stalling

i been feelin down, i been under the weather
gray skies, snow falling, now i feel a bit better
i got coffee in my hand and im wearin a sweater
i can only hope next year will be a little better
i been feelin down, i been under the weather
but i know everything’s okay, i just gotta remember
that everything is temporary and this isn’t forever
i can only hope that next year will be a little better

come save me
im falling
don’t waste my time
if im calling
im waiting
for something
to change my life
cuz im stalling (x2)

maybe next year [capsctrl]

trying something a little different
tysm for 500 followers & 100k total plays
i love y'all thank u for supporting me

produced by @hellahaunted and @jolst <3

lyrics:
bottles on my desk so i don’t look back
think i got the symptoms of a heart attack
fuckin up my system so i write that
put all of my pieces in a notepad

i can’t see the road everything is gray
i can feel my heart drop, how the times change
memories in my pocket feel like our remains
i thought i was good now, what a shame
tell me you love me, then leave on the daily
im fuckin exhausted, im swimming in saline
what is the difference, if you fuckin hate me
between what is lost and whats goin to save me

im losing it
i melt into your touch and then im bruised and it hurts
im scared of fucking up cuz then i’ll be at my worst
i’ll fade into the grass and let u keep all my shirts
cuz i know you still care
and i know you’ll be tattered
i cant fucking leave
but my mind has been scattered
im all over the place now
just wait for the breakdown
not scared to be face down
i’ve been there before 
i’ve been there before 

bottles on my desk so i don’t look back
think i got the symptoms of a heart attack
fuckin up my system so i write that
put all of my pieces in a notepad

i can’t see the road everything is gray
i can feel my heart drop, how the times change
memories in my pocket feel like our remains
i thought i was good now, what a shame
tell me you love me, then leave on the daily
im fuckin exhausted, im swimming in saline
what is the difference, if you fuckin hate me
between what is lost and whats goin to save me

saline [p. caspr x jolst]

saline [caves x jolst]

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

decks

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks