produced by @jolst and @sainttomorrow <3
out now on youtube through biteki & static:
https://youtu.be/DWpNablizm0
https://youtu.be/nEK_a4oFms8

music video:
https://youtu.be/95Kayd1Rpiw

hope u enjoy :)

lyrics:
i let my soul drift away just to feel something again
i sold my conscience for free, nothing to see but a man without his skin

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

plenty people consider hitting my phone again
i don’t mind but i’d rather just be alone again
findin peace in my soul life ain’t that innocent
if i wanted em to be, things would be different
quiet nights in my attic, now the static is loud
i just wanna see my dad again and make him proud
tired of the recycled life i’m bottling up
smoked a little bit too much and now i’m throwing up

whats in the water, i wonder...
sink to the river, discover
see my reflection in ripples
i think i need you a little
more than i’d admit
i find it hard to reminisce
feel my stomach start to twist
and now i’m back with those i miss
woahhh

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

enter the forest, forget life
i’ve done this shit for the last time x2

enter the forest, forget life

enter the forest, forget life [p. jolst x saint tomorrow]

spotify!

enter the forest, forget life [jolst x saint tomorrow]

new midwest emo track w/ @salemavenue :)
produced by @nevrfall
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
[decks]
college has ruined me, my mind is cloudy
wake up each morning im drowsy
feel like nobody’s around me
i just wanted to be happy
living this life is so tiring
nothing in this town inspires me
im not alive just to die,
see through my eyes,
and maybe you’ll find that

i might just fly away for a while
im sober in the candlelight, but sleeping in denial
i’d do anything to see you smile
this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

[salem avenue]
i’m always falling down
pick me up and lift me off the ground
i act like it’s all over now
but really i just fill my head with doubt
and where would i go anyways?
when i don’t wanna ever make a sound 
maybe i’ll just fade away
find myself another in this ghost town 

yeah it goes down
pick me up 
i don’t wanna feel alone now
it’s so cold out 
i feel blue now 
pick me up
i don't wanna feel alone now
like they do

[decks]
(living this life is so tiring)
(nothing in this town inspires me)
(im not alive just to die)
(see through my eyes and maybe you'll find that)

i might just fly away for a while
im sober in the candlelight, but sleeping in denial
i’d do anything to see you smile
this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

this dream is a nightmare, im always falling down

sober in the candlelight (feat. salem avenue) [p. nevrfall]

sober in the candlelight (feat. salem avenue) [nevrfall]

hiraeth. eight months in the making.
featuring: @onlyfriendyeah
produced by: @lindenblossom
cover art by: @ejcarrmusic
i hope you enjoy <3
thank you for everything.

lyrics:
it feels like im missing something
a portrait unfinished
my life has been next to nothing
a chord thats diminished

cuz i’ll wait for change
and better days
just to come home with nothin
or maybe i’ll
just stay the same
cuz im too good at suffering
and i could always
take the blame
for all of my shortcomings 

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(onlyfriend)
maybe it's all for nothing
all the choices i make lead me closer to the coffin
no i can't take the weight of the changes
and i don't rly know what i'm doing
just pretend that you can't see me fading
and shy away raising no alarms
like i'm safe from harm
when i'm too far gone
and i can't hear a word from you

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(both)
hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

just the beginning...
@jolst // @pekarot_161 // art by @ejcarrmusic

lyrics:

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive

cuz i’ve been kind
i’ve given patience u dont deserve
i’ve followed trails to the core of this earth
i’m reading books cuz i never fucking learn
you’ve run a fine line too long this time
i gotta move on im sure im right
cuz it was nice with u here
i’ll be fine with u gone
i don’t like all this fear
you should just move along

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

time, wasting time 
but you don’t realize 
what you don’t realize 
these are the days of our lives
you got caught up in your lies 
emotions trapped inside your minds 
hidden behind a disguise
now its too late for goodbyes

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive..

hangitup [jolst x pekarot]

spotify & apple music!

madison & 1st, night lights in a coffin
w/ @betweentheveinsandi
prod. @sadboiforever
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
yeah u can take my life if u want it
file thru the pain, small prize if u block it
and i never been ashamed, cut ties if im wantin’
u came here to play, eat shit where ur talkin
cuz im sayin u can take my life if u want it
madison and 1st, night lights in a coffin
i cant ever fall asleep, twist spine pretty often
bored of counting sheep, yet fine feelin nothin

and im saying with dusk comes dawn
another painful day where the night feels wrong
& i’ll stay inside tonight so i can weather the storm

my mind
a fragile portrait of my architecture
my spine
is broken by the words that i have dragged along
inside
i’ve spent so long for progress to force me backwards
alive
im glad i am, its hard to carry on

veins:
Take my life if u want it 
I don't really give a shit 
2 shots that's a warning 
And I don't make ties they just loosen with time 
Back when throwing up was the best part of our lives 
Oh what u say book a hospital stay 
All the times and the days that u tried to run away 
Despite what u say I think ur mom is pretty sweet 
Cause if u always be the victim then u always live in pain 
She said that break ups suck 
But I don't think she gives a fuck 
And I don't think that meaning from a broken heart just takes a fuck 
Woah 
Laid back 
I'm at terms with the past 
And I'll follow the act 
Just tell me how to act  

yeah u can take my life if u want it
file thru the pain, small prize if u block it
and i never been ashamed, cut ties if im wantin’
u came here to play, eat shit where ur talkin
cuz im sayin u can take my life if u want it
madison and 1st, night lights in a coffin
i cant ever fall asleep, twist spine pretty often
bored of counting sheep, yet fine feelin nothin

and im saying with dusk comes dawn
another painful day where the night feels wrong
& i’ll stay inside tonight so i can weather the storm

take it, it's yours (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [2001]

we all need time to bloom...
prod. @prodmichael
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by @jolst
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
if i take the time i find
some part of me is left behind
i’ve broken thru the ice
and now i need a place to dry

we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

and i can feel it gettin better
i wanna be here forever
the trees are all turnin red
and i love her to fuckin death and i

saw this coming, no more running

i been livin like a dweller
im sinkin into my bed
and im hiding under the sheets
cuz my hair is a fuckin mess but i

saw this coming, no more running

if i take the time i see
im needing closure desperately
i failed to close the chapter of my life
i was living previously
what to do?
where to go?
i can’t handle questions, no
i do better living never
shitty weather suits me so
well
so well
if u ask me how im doin i won’t say im doin
so well
so well
cuz the time it takes
will lead the way for me

we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

and i can feel it gettin better
i wanna be here forever
the trees are all turnin red
and i love her to fuckin death and i

saw this coming, no more running

i been livin like a dweller
im sinkin into my bed
and im hiding under the sheets
cuz my hair is a fuckin mess but i

saw this coming, no more running

we all need time to bloom
we pick and choose, we win and lose
we all need time to bloom
when life subdues, we feel renewed

bloom [xmichaelwarren]

not for profit

original:
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson/lock-da-doors-samashi

love y'all, hope u enjoy
thanks for making this song king @sewerperson
shoutout samashi

lock da doors (cover) [samashi]

good night
enjoy

lyrics:
tell me how to feel
tell me how to live
clearly i dont know
cuz now i rly cant forgive
put ur heart in a keepsake 
tellin him shit that we’d say
i smoke up for the relay
used to think that every
thing i’d say was backwards
shit i didnt matter
hard to cope at all
when i hear is all the chatter
my mind is fixed on my passion
i struggle with takin action

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

tell me how to cope
late december snow
blurry photographs
its chilly in the autumn cold
u know i miss u, farther
than we’ve been before
i know it got too hard
thats why im gone for good

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

easily, in fact [autrioly]

whats the problem?
prod. @imcaves
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
whats the problem
i try not to think ab it in the long run
say it louder to convince myself i’m awful
i see ur face n think i’ll never pass the autumn
ain’t it funny how that works
never knew how much it hurt
put a price atop my head i got a target
thought i need more attention now i’m starving
i knew myself a whole lot less than i regarded
now ur over me w him
i don’t know where to begin

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light

suffer, suture wounds
i crushed my future; tomb
i’d see the sun
if you’d just move a bit
puncture lungs removed
tell me what u do
when night hits
everything is new again

whats the problem
isnt this all that u wanted in the long run?
i could spend my days just waiting for a phone call
but if i did then i wouldnt be someone u want
aint it funny how that works
i’ll just lie down in the dirt
u can bend me how u wanna cuz i like that
i miss how you’d make me hurt i never fight back
i know that it didnt work but yet despite that
i’m a sucker for ur love
i thought it was kinda fun

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light
i'll never

brave bird [caves]

spotify, apple, etc.

does our love die?
prod. @silversxo
ep coming soon...
hope u enjoy <333

lyrics:
so tell me when the night stops
does our love die
maybe just the heartache’s
worth it for a short time
if it were up to me
i’d avoid this feeling totally

if maybe for a second
i’d be honest
the guilt that i’ve been feeling
would respond with
a lack of uncertainty
i’d avoid that feeling totally

so what if
i moved on for the better
twin beds & ties both severed
unconsciously both knowing
this ain’t gonna work forever
been dealing with myself and
i’d just rather feeling nothing
i can’t just carry on
knowing ur out there
like its nothing

drawn shades protect my body
never felt so uncomfortable
im trying to stay strong but
being alone makes u wonder where ur life goes

ever since [silver]

spotify & apple music

all i've got
produced by @imcaves
art by me
hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:

its hard to focus on life as of late
i’m simple and losing my name
what good does it do to be brave
when i’m always right back to this place?
i wanted to think there was more to life
i hoard advice from all my peers
you know that it hurts when the words are right
i’m sure that i could dry your tears
i knew how it felt to be empty
but without you i’m barely alive
the rain on my window is melting my wishes
of things being different this time
i really hope you’ve got it figured out
i know it hurts to see me now

sunsets & unrest & moonlight
rewrite the past for the last time
i’m stuck again at a red light
eyes close tonight as you pass me by
i never thought i would feel like this
say the word and i’m yours again
i know i shouldn’t just give in
but in the end, you’re the one that i’ve always wanted

im sorry for being the worst
& kicking my thoughts to the curb
i know that the truth isnt easy but 
i could get over myself & the hurt
i’m speaking my mind for the first time
i’m trying to put up a fight
you know how its been for me lately
i wish u were here tonight

learning to lose

good light pt. 2 [caves]

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose w/ greenwood

my personal favorite
produced by my friend @everythingmackk
<3

lyrics:
it started then
n now we’re here again
dont want a friend
we cant be close again
lets not pretend
dont wanna go thru that again

with all the time passed,
nothin rly changes anymore
now i digress;
leaving what i’ve got before its more
i need to find that
i cant see the sunlight thru the storm
u know no matter the weather
im always back to that letter

i gotta find me
i don’t know the person i’ve become
i see the lightning
striking while ur finding other love
i haven’t felt like this in a long time
i don’t exist in ur life while u haunt mine

breathing is slow,
winter is cold
say idk i don’t like that
what do u know
making our bones
told u that i couldn’t fight back
& every time we drove past thru Verona
the cold summer snow was reflecting ur aura
she said to take it outta me
the words i never said
so i went thru our dichotomy
& struck a nerve again
maybe it was fuckin cowardly
to sit where u had spent
but the wage i work is hourly
& u live in my head
right, you live in my
head on backwards
the lanes mix up
& the game’s unmastered
hey the plans break up
but we can make up
all the facial expressions
were never enough
to show u

with all the time passed,
nothin rly changes anymore
now i digress;
leaving what i’ve got before its more
i need to find that
i cant see the sunlight thru the storm
u know no matter the weather
im always back to that letter

i gotta find me
i don’t know the person i’ve become
i see the lightning
striking while ur finding other love
i haven’t felt like this in a long time
i don’t exist in ur life while u haunt mine

i might be invisible [mackk]

4035108
b17d5 3y3
==============
@fleshgolem
h0pe u enjoy <3
==============
lyr1cs:

u couldn’t make it up
i couldn’t if i tried
n i been stayin up
i wanna make it by
if i could grant 1 wish
i’d be right by ur side
look at the positives
i swear to god i’ll try

when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
i might be 0 for 3 but im keeping it steady
u know the pieces that prospered took years to finally be ready
and when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
i might be 0 for 3 but i’ll try if i’m able
i never saw the other side till i was turning the table

i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night

sun sets on the east coast when i’m
breaking away from pressure
mess with the sheets, don’t bother me
(its not like i have a choice)
digress, all the details piling up
tell me its not forever
test: all my patience, what the fuck?
(you know that you have a choice)

so when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
(you know that you have a choice)
i might be 0 for 3 but im keeping it steady
u know the pieces that prospered took years to finally be ready
(you know that you have a choice)
and when its time for me ima jump off that ledge
you know you don’t quite see till ur outta ur head
(you know that you have a choice)
i might be 0 for 3 but i’ll try if i’m able
i never saw the other side till i was turning the table
(you know that you have a choice)

i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night
i’ve been up all night

bird's eye [flesh]

new cover w the brother @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @nevrfall
=================
original by @sewerperson:
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson/lrt-nevrfall
=================
hope u enjoy <3

LR7 w/ betweentheveinsandi (cover) [nevrfall]

w1th0ut 4 tr4c3
f4b13
==============
@jolst & @punkworldthreat
art: @ejcarrmusic
ep soon...
==============
lyrics:

aint shit hard for me at all
i be down so much i forget i know how to ball
i can’t get enough when im wit u i want it all
i been up i cannot fall
hit the pen then dip im writin fables on the wall
hear my story loud im quiet im not standing tall
i cant rly stand up for myself much anyway
feel the consequences while im withering away

back n im takin the backseat
baby i need to relax we
takin it quicker than maxi
yeah, uh
thick skull like a pachy (dinosaur reference)
order up for the pack meet
re up at the acme
i been on go so long i forget how to sit down
i smoke double duffel bag i cannot sit down
i know shit always come up so i dont go out
this the hardest part of livin on my own now
no one ever ask me why im on my own now
shit like this why im always in a break down
this november so much colder than the last one
maybe thats a sign i gotta move it past ya

aint shit hard for me at all
i be down so much i forget i know how to ball
i can’t get enough when im wit u i want it all
i been up i cannot fall
hit the pen then dip im writin fables on the wall
hear my story loud im quiet im not standing tall
i cant rly stand up for myself much anyway
feel the consequences while im withering away

its silence that haunts me
i cant focus im watching
where u go when im talking
u once told me u want me
whats the point in such conflict
life is futile and short lived
i cant spend it in jersey
losing friends before thirty, fuck

i been wasting so much time
next thing i know 20s gonna pass me right on by
gotta get it goin fore im running out of time
always running out of time

without a trace

fable [jolst x punk]

spotify & apple

THE SONG OF THE SUMMER
WITH @ejcarrmusic
EP SOON

lyrics:

up three, down one 
soak in the fun 
couldn't catch it too fast 
something hidden in the grass 
thought i left it in the past 
but don't think that i can shake it 
use me for entertainment 
think i'm falling down the hill 
started fading out the thrill 
needing patience when i'm still

waking up 
guess it was 
plain to see 
through all the positives 
no shot you're taking this away

no shot you're taking this away

i lost enough, can i get another one?
i think im trying to hard to be the one
you know its hard when i always wanna run
i think i’ve finally had enough
of all the shit i take
my conscience can’t be
under all the weight
of half the people
in my day to day
i try to keep the
things you said
behind a lock and key, ‘cause

waking up 
guess it was 
plain to see 
through all the positives 
no shot you're taking this away

waving out of this one
save me from everyone
all within me
no shot you’re taking this away

its all the time i wonder
is all of this a blunder?
before the lightning; thunder
you strike me over and over

there’s no shot, there’s no shot 
(its all the time i wonder)
there’s no shot, there’s no shot 
(is all of this a blunder?)
there’s no shot, there’s no shot 
(before the lightning; thunder)
there’s no shot, there’s no shot 
(you strike me over and over)

waking up 
guess it was 
plain to see 
through all the positives 
no shot you're taking this away

waving out of this one
save me from everyone
all within me
no shot you’re taking this away

no shot w/ evan carr [immortal x perish]

spotify & apple!

song of the summer meet rock bottom
with my main man @ejcarrmusic
ep in two weeks !!!
enjoy <3

lyrics:
blink your eyes and it’s here
the pit of all the years
immune from any ending
think fast your stories changing
so sort through the jumbled mess
of old times and stale regrets
as long as you get
what all this truly meant

take a breath
and walk those steps
as you fear the depths
of whatever comes next

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind

go ahead

sometimes its on your doorstep
sometimes u take the fall
i took it on the shoulder
i lost myself in it all
and it gets hard to recognize the person that i was
i said goodbye a hundred times and never understood

the reasons beneath us
you’ll never forget how it feels
a sequence of treason
could never bend us to my will
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good?

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good
bye
bye
bye
bye

go ahead, say goodbye

go ahead, say goodbye w/ evan carr [immortal]

spotify & apple <3

i knew it at 17 that you'd haunt me
//
prod. @fleshgolem & @pekarot_161
===================
lyrics:

i cant imagine how exhausting
it must be
just to want me
in the peak of october;
flaunting
what its like to be seen
i won’t live out this dream
i knew it at 17
that you’d haunt me,
you’d haunt me

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

take me, break me
i know lately
i haven’t been at my best love
it isnt all what it seems so
make me stay please
its been fading
i know its all evocation
you know i’d never erase it

well, its all in the past, thats fine
i wonder what could’ve been that night
i’m always down on my luck in spite
of all the times that you proved me right
love, what’re we doing standing here?
i don’t wanna be angry but it’s all thats here

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

<resize frame>

the eleventh hour

the eleventh hour [flesh x pekarot]

resize frame - track 1

crowd vox ft. birdbay, sagebrsh, flesh golem, evan carr, matt kelly, & homesick

lyrics:
if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

i never lost my composure
feel like i’m the only one thats getting older
well if the silence passed,
then i may get mine back
run my mouth like a motor
never filter, only book it in a folder
if you could have my back
i prolly wouldn’t run so fast

four years gone, what can i say?
my life’s all broken and frayed
to find love i had to put on a face
now i regret it as im walking in place
eyes up, are you lacking in shame?
i knew once that i was finding my space
two ones like the eyes of a snake
i knew once that you loved me the same

if what i said was a lie
could it amount to a half of it all?
it was never your mind
that was at fault for all the cracks in the wall
and as its starting to dry
the paint is peeling and i’m sick of it all
i’ll never get that goodbye
don’t color me blind
i struggle finding reasons why i’m taking the fall

break it all down
i wanna know what you stand for

all the pain grows between the lines

i had to find out
why you lead with that candor

sever those binds to hang me dry

crack in the wall [flesh]

spotify & apple !

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

tether (ft. greenwood) [triple gemini]

track 2 off my upcoming LP, BYSTANDER
self produced
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by david kowalski
thank you <3

lyrics:
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

i sent a search team out to find u
they said u were dead
i crawled for miles cuz i couldn’t
believe what they said
as i was digging, i woke up
in a visceral sweat
i read your text again but
i won’t be answering it

say what you need i might
pay for the dream i write
(everything, anything)
no one could see quite right
i paralyzed my life
(find you in everything)
i found more ways to hurt myself
my own words acting as a hell
you say it doesn’t have a meaning
i don’t think you know me that well

i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

ACHE

track 9/12
additional prod by @fleshgolem
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by david kowalski

ALBUM DROPS IN 2 WEEKS MARCH 14TH

lyrics:
i feel the silence when missing home
a lack of guidance provisional
you aim to fly when your spirit’s close
do it like nobody else
even when love is conditional
my only method’s instinctual
we fall away like we fear whats close
repeat with somebody else
and lately i’m individual
nothing left when i’m all alone
i need a guide when i’m feeling low
i can’t compete with somebody else

i’ve been in need of a change
i wish i could stay the same
its hard to know when its never over
i need a way to relate
crooked and just out of frame
i don’t think i’ve ever been more sober

caught up in concept, exhausted my options
its better to be than to lie here in wait
i focus on progress just to make us an option
i’m begging for change while i’m running in place
(didn’t want to lose you, so i did)
i’m begging for change while i’m calling your name
(prioritize myself instead)
i’m begging for change while i wither away

surrounding my issues with styrofoam
won’t make this better, i can’t phone home
‘cause the last thing we all need, in health or a ghost
is a reason to live when discerning our bones
could you tell me a burden’s a promise?
i’ve been waiting to feel like i’ve got it
all my vices despise one another
we get along perfectly, bloodied, yet brothers

another winter in bloomfield
could kill me before i make time just to heal these wounds
you’ll never live for the cold, feel
runoff from buffalo seep into what you’ve lost
we all just break for the coast,
steal embers from hearts that we didn’t consent to use
i wanted change from the usual
nothing will change if not given the chance

caught up in concept, exhausted my options
its better to be than to lie here in wait
i focus on progress just to make us an option
i’m begging for change while i’m running in place
(didn’t want to lose you, so i did)
i’m begging for change while i’m calling your name
(prioritize myself instead)
i’m begging for change while i’m running in place

i’ve been in need of a change
i wish i could stay the same
its hard to know when its never over
i need a way to relate
crooked and just out of frame
i don’t think i’ve ever been more sober

PRIORITIZING CHANGE

track 1
+ @jolst
bg vox on hook 2 by sarah andreu

lyrics:
its noon on a monday
the year changed its number
and i missed all of its calls
i’ll be present someday
but filling that hunger
ain’t easy as i once thought

i check the time, pace
around my room, wait
for something more (or)
less around me
i’ve got a high gauge
i’ll check the fine space
and see a step back
is something wrong?

another year gone devoid of pride
within the meaning, another died
its without a doubt in mind
you need a change of lens

i need to breathe
i need to find someone new
i need to see
that i’m not living proof
that i just drag people down
they’re dancing around
bystander from your point of view
a fallacy
i won’t be part of a ruse
you can’t believe
you’re really telling the truth
i’m walking around
head straight to the ground
bystander from your point of view

you choose when you’re lonely
i won’t see your number
‘cause i’m giving life a shot
i’m no one and only
i’m like any other
i meant to, but i forgot

another lie staged
within my eyes, say
you hate it when 
you’re without me
i need to find space
i’ll make it five days
and check out
all my surroundings

another year gone devoid of pride
within the meaning, another died
its without a doubt in mind
you need a change of lens
i don’t think we will ever subside
a losing battle, a chance to cry
the pattern scares me i cant lie
i don’t know when it’ll end

i need to breathe
i need to find someone new
i need to see
that i’m not living proof
that i just drag people down
they’re dancing around
bystander from your point of view
a fallacy
i won’t be part of a ruse
you can’t believe
you’re really telling the truth
i’m walking around
head straight to the ground
bystander from your point of view

BYSTANDER

track 5
bass by @absolventmusic
mastered by david kowalski

lyrics:
eyes so low
break
snow so cold
wait
i don’t know how i got here

mind your mold
hate
all you know
say
things that don’t make it more clear

pain is intuition
intuition fucked me over
i know within this vision
im only just growing stronger
but this body is a curse
and i don’t think your love can help me no more

feel your pulse
“hey…”
you’re alone
lay
down on the sheets that you’ll wash in a week
oh it’s fine.

share this dose
they
don’t quite know
we
make it ourselves, know its us till the bell
says goodnight

pain is intuition
intuition fucked me over
i know within this vision
im only just growing stronger
but this body is a curse
and i don’t think your love can help me no more

put me down, tell me its
upside down, maybe i’ll
put down the phone
cherish the home that i’ve built
grab my coat, train to the
eastern coast, watch as you
leave from beside me
it seems that i’ve had my fill

finding you was easy
but love is never simple
practicing the meaning
in the mirror just to kindle
some crutch for me
exhaustingly
i couldn’t hold us up if i tried

pain is intuition
intuition fucked me over
i know within this vision
i’m only just growing stronger
but this body is a curse
and i don’t think your love can help me no more

this presence is a gift
but i would rather not receive it
i’d write a million songs
if i could make up for releasing
the reasons that i’m stuck
and why i know your love can’t help me no more
now i think its over
i’ll be damned if i know that much for sure.

eyes so low
break
snow so cold
wait
i don’t know how i got here

LIFE INSURANCE

track 8
the oldest song on here by far
guitar by @pekarot_161
mastered by david kowalski

lyrics:
piece it together
frame it so you’re the one who’s right
strung on a tether
seeking investment, no not quite
measure the outcomes
see if its worth all of that strife
blame it on bad luck
oh honey, i know the feeling’s never right

if i could see it, how it fell apart
where’s the fun if i retire?
through a kaleidoscope i saw ur heart
i wish i hadn’t caused the fire

out of the sunlight
into a maze i’ve never been
love, are you alright?
i’ve never seen you quite this tense

if something i did was the problem would you tell me it twice?
i can work on my surroundings but the issue’s inside
love will falter, it can fade in just the blink of an eye
trust me baby, i can tell you, i don’t need the advice

i’m good enough
its good enough
i’m good enough
its good enough

if i could see it, how it fell apart
where’s the fun if i retire?
through a kaleidoscope i saw ur heart
i wish i hadn’t caused the fire
but when its burning, baby, i feel good
maybe i burn when i’m inspired
through a kaleidoscope i saw your heart
but you’re the wick and i’m on fire

KALEIDOSCOPE

track 4
everything done by me
mastered by david kowalski

lyrics:
if its so important to you, why don’t you reach out?
don’t reach out
just go to sleep now
patient in the way that you think, don’t speak out
i’ll leave now
baby turn the heat down
i thought i’d learn to reduce it
harming teacher and student
you’ll find a massive improvement
way beyond your own fluent
find a way to make me go away, you’ll freak out
just reach out
just reach out

just reach out
don’t freak out

so if you thought it would get better don’t look
never mind the progress, all the shade i mistook
i think in practice, we all fail to cater
we’ve lost all conception of life before labor
so take me home again
stable, alone in bed
‘cause i can’t breathe without this
reach some balance
the seams will stretch
just to appease the masses

is it so hard to do whats right for the both of us?
so far i’d like to think you’re someone i trust
old scars will reach across from an angle
you do what you want
i’m okay getting tangled

if its so important to you, why don’t you reach out?
don’t reach out
just go to sleep now
patient in the way that you think, don’t speak out
i’ll leave now
baby turn the heat down
i thought i’d learn to reduce it
harming teacher and student
you’ll find a massive improvement
way beyond your own fluent
find a way to make me go away, you’ll freak out
just reach out
just reach out

just reach out
don’t freak out
i’ll leave now

REACH

everything done by me

lyrics:
creer es un mito
debes venir conmigo
its all in the way we don’t find out

i’m choosing to see
the only person i need, don’t
fall out of place, yo te abrazo

breathe
don’t sacrifice yourself for me
its coming on, i need to sleep
i fear you’re everything i need

i’ve seen it all come crashing down
a bitter ending, spoiled town
your warning signs, my shreds of doubt
aloud

i wanna see another morning
those shutters blind to my consorting
perdíendonos errores
you can’t afford me

breathe
don’t sacrifice yourself for me
its coming on, i need to sleep
i fear you’re everything i need



all platforms

miedo a todo

back for good
produced by the legend @flesh
cover photo by my love

lyrics:
if i had a choice i would honestly deflect
only half out of the woods & im watching my own neck
cause it only goes
round and round
i turn around
protect myself
in holy ground

see me as a voice, why would i ever neglect
i could never leave a void in a space that i protect
in a moment go
sound it out
then turn around
direct yourself
to holy ground

see the way its haunting your spirit?
i had to tell a lie
the oracle once sounded out
the river would run dry
the ground you rest on fades and
your fears begin to fly
once you see that shade of blue
you won’t forget the sky
you won’t forget the-

holy ground
take a bow
sound it out
the worst things only just break even x4

see i was waiting for you
hours on hours
i thought you wouldn’t come
airport to the shower
im headed for
what i should’ve known
should’ve known
months ago
was set in stone
direct myself
to who i know

in the past i waited
hours on hours
for love i didn’t have
now i have my baby
beside me
shes just my better half
i would go 
look you up
and let you know
but i know better
than to show

holy ground
take a bow
sound it out
the worst things only just break even x4

holy ground [flesh]

+ @oni_boy
prod @jolst & @holymountain2015

lyric:
i put a pin in it, holding a target
this movie’s so cylical i could’ve sworn that
(you promised)
you didn’t you just didn’t mark it
the page in the back of the book that you wanted
i saw it & lost it, i’m no correspondent
you saw that despondence and moved your way past the line
now we’re all out of time

in the event that it stops, lets hold a gun to my head
if you could see that i’m dead, i can forgive you instead
maybe i'm battered and bruised, i'm only learning the truth
pieces of me and of you, i don't want nothing to do, nothing to do with you

i couldn’t fathom what it would take to keep you from goin under
i found a saint, righted my wrongs and now im duckin for cover
i know the game, played it before and i saw how they had sundered
i bet its great living like that, goin from lover to lover

there was no heart left to plunder
maybe its all just a joke
i bet a thousand you wonder
too bad im up and ur broke
i couldn’t deal with the smoke
covered myself in a cloak
tired the second i toke
maybe its all that i know
know that i don’t, don’t give a fuck
maybe i’m out on my own
wasting alone, down on my luck
you wouldn’t pick up the phone
started to dig outta the rut
i’m climbin up from hell
buried in dirt, covered in soot

in the event that it stops, lets hold a gun to my head
if you could see that i’m dead, i can forgive you instead
maybe i'm battered and bruised, i'm only learning the truth
pieces of me and of you, i don't want nothing to do, nothing to do with you

[verse - oni boy]
shut the fuck up, i don’t wanna hear you talking
close the damn door, so i can just watch you, walking
got you on a watch list
i can see you gawking
you and your friends, you’re mocking
grab the knife and i start stalking
chopping, im finna eat you up
go ahead and stay put
what the fuck do you want
you already took my heart
now you can take my soul
you put the gun to my head
using my skull as a bowl

you’re the devil in a human form
a succubus that takes my soul
and feeds upon my life force
my throats hoarse
left me coughing up my blood
i’m on bypass
i should’ve never let you in
now you’re the ghost that haunts my path

why couldn’t you stay dead
you mess around in my head
you mess around in my brain
feel like i’m going insane
i thought this demon had changed
but now she wants all of me
wish you’d have fucked off and died
permanently, honestly

in the event that it stops, lets hold a gun to my head
if you could see that i’m dead, i can forgive you instead
maybe i'm battered and bruised, i'm only learning the truth
pieces of me and of you, i don't want nothing to do, nothing to do with you

nothing to do with you (ft. oni boy) [jolst x holymountain]

first single off my ep "i never asked for this", dropping december 25th!

thank u so much to @fantasycamp for featuring on this
and @nevrfall and @sainttomorrow for the wonderful production
cover art by evan carr :)

lyrics:
[decks]
light fading
im waiting
give me a reason
something to believe in
i can’t go back and i know that
im desperate and i show that
am i right or am i too naive
why won’t you leave
why won’t you leave

[fantasy camp]
goin through the motions but we’re faded
yeah time and time again it’s still the same shit
and im sorry if i ever kept you waiting
i just think that we’re in two different places
and i know its gonna kill me just to let go
but its easier than trying to forget though
there’s a place for you inside my heart forever
in my spirit we will always be together
i won’t let you down again
and this time i swear i mean it
all good things come to an end
and i think we’re both defeated
so let’s just take time
to find ourselves again
and i’ll wait right here
to find you at the end

[decks]
light fading
im waiting
give me a reason
something to believe in
i can’t go back and i know that
im desperate and i show that
am i right or am i too naive
why won’t you leave
why won’t you leave

i never asked for this

leave (ft. fantasy camp) [p. nevrfall x saint tomorrow]

leave (ft. fantasy camp) [nevrfall x saint tomorrow]

trying something a little different
tysm for 500 followers & 100k total plays
i love y'all thank u for supporting me

produced by @hellahaunted and @jolst <3

lyrics:
bottles on my desk so i don’t look back
think i got the symptoms of a heart attack
fuckin up my system so i write that
put all of my pieces in a notepad

i can’t see the road everything is gray
i can feel my heart drop, how the times change
memories in my pocket feel like our remains
i thought i was good now, what a shame
tell me you love me, then leave on the daily
im fuckin exhausted, im swimming in saline
what is the difference, if you fuckin hate me
between what is lost and whats goin to save me

im losing it
i melt into your touch and then im bruised and it hurts
im scared of fucking up cuz then i’ll be at my worst
i’ll fade into the grass and let u keep all my shirts
cuz i know you still care
and i know you’ll be tattered
i cant fucking leave
but my mind has been scattered
im all over the place now
just wait for the breakdown
not scared to be face down
i’ve been there before 
i’ve been there before 

bottles on my desk so i don’t look back
think i got the symptoms of a heart attack
fuckin up my system so i write that
put all of my pieces in a notepad

i can’t see the road everything is gray
i can feel my heart drop, how the times change
memories in my pocket feel like our remains
i thought i was good now, what a shame
tell me you love me, then leave on the daily
im fuckin exhausted, im swimming in saline
what is the difference, if you fuckin hate me
between what is lost and whats goin to save me

saline [p. caspr x jolst]

saline [caves x jolst]

holy ground out now

@signett001
@butaneband

decks

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks