I serious love this, yet another good song decks

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

stream everywhere!

dearly departing [jolst]

i see the moon shining on this dark night
that wont damp my mood babe im alright
it use to but now im really different
all for the better
i wouldnt change it at all
no fucking chance
ive spent alot of nights in this room
and ill spend alot fucking more
ask me "how many more?"
and ill just say; "until im on the billboard"
so i asked what that bitch have
and he couldn't answer me
cause he hated me
and i dont know why
in the midst of these dark cold nights
nights add up and i see him
in my future i really wanna be with him
i can see now
am i finally see thru?

drk, cld, nghts. (kuboi)

made this one with fucking covid LMFAOO

Lyrics:

song's out
i don't fuck with trash 
even living in this dumpster baby
comedown
you could not survive in my head for a sec my lady
come down
we were on good terms 
can we talk 
i need someone lately
suns out
it feels like it's not from this room i had holed up safely in

(instrumental i let go for a while because i think it's pretty LOL)

song's out
i don't fuck with trash 
even living in this dumpster baby
comedown
you could not survive in my head for a sec my lady
come down
we were on good terms 
can we talk 
i need someone lately
suns out
it feels like it's not from this room i had holed up safely in

song's out
i don't fuck with trash 
even living in this dumpster baby
comedown
you could not survive in my head for a sec my lady
come down
we were on good terms 
can we talk 
i need someone lately
suns out suns out
come down come down

-

song's out
i don't fuck with trash 
even living in this dumpster baby
comedown
you could not survive in my head for a sec my lady
come down
we were on good terms 
can we talk 
i need someone lately
suns out
it feels like it's not from this room i had holed up safely in

everybodys sick in the head
this shit gettin worse

patient zero

the second single off my upcoming album 'dearly departing' coming out on 9/9
featuring @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @jolst
art by @/ashleydhe on instagram
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin 

or when its half mast
think about what i’ve passed
will i be forgiven?

or when im undone
will i run
or is this a new beginning?

i think i saw your star sign
projected in the night sky
i look out to the ocean
and then im back to your eyes

veins:
I don't give a fuck anymore
I would let her drown me in a low tide
these decisions assault my eyes
I brace for the waves that drag me back into the deep tide

yuh,
it gives a deep high
I guess it feel right
underwater with no sunshine
I heave a deep sigh
I'm filled with sea brine
all of my bones will rest in deep lime

but it's been nice
I hope u feel right
I hope he never leaves ur fucking side
I pray u both live long and happy lives
most of all, importantly, I hope u feel alive

its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin

dearly departing

low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

spotify & apple music!

IV. low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

trying to connect the dots

prod. @solofttt 🖤
if you're reading this, thank you for listening.
it means, seriously a lot
thx, take care

can you prelude to how i'm feeling?
cause i've been addicted to these patterns
all this time (time)
and it's hardly fair; i'm breaking still
regardless if i've already lost my will
and if i should fade into a darker light
it just doesn't make sense how i feel alright
cause i know nothing's right

and i've known that since yesterday
i'm something that i haven't always been
i lock my door, and lower the shades
letting flow state straight into the pen
the floors creek, and my brain feeds
on a core memory i stowed away
but i come forth; take it head on
peeling flesh off of it's travesty
but the earth hurts; all i have is me
she's here too, but sorta overseas
you amaze me, rearrange me 
in a shape similar to something sweet
the window open on a cold night
honestly i love frostbite
numbing part of me, in which apologies 
aren't policy for the limelight
fight back
fuck off
i'm not going outside today
i woke up too late
to avoid the rays
now i contemplate when was yesterday
i contradict what i thought i was
what i am now's not so pretty
day to day feeling disgust
from the mistrust that i gave me
i had caved in; so shameless
but if you like my shit, put it on playlist
i am not in search of validation.
just something genuine

(6x)
i'll connect the
i'll connect the dots

can you prelude to how i'm feeling?
cause i've been addicted to these patterns
all this time
(all this time)

travesty awaits [prod. soloft]

reflection (interlude) [jolst]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back

lower deck, where i slept, shouldve seen it comin
i was blessed with a soul now im left with nothing
cuz i couldn’t find a way out
the floor burst as i was screaming for help

and now i live with my failure
im burdened with loss
was i meant to be saved or
is this just what i’ve earned
cuz god knows i never learn

so teach me
if this is my lesson then come fucking teach me
im suffering out here alone where nobody can reach me

i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back
when the sail strikes back
we relive our past
feel our burdens cast
never coming back

III. the sail strikes back [jolst x taylor morgan]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
it feels like im drowning
i wake up im bruised and battered
i finally stop spinning
and the ocean goes on forever and ever

what we have isn’t perfect, but fuck it we’re trying
i struggle with certainty, and the truth is im lying
my heart is a mess inside
but i know im fine enough

im seasick
took my heart, i didnt know that i needed it
fall apart, the very second we’re leavin and then
i wasn’t smart, couldn’t even bear to see the ship go
underrrr
the very second we had
sundereddd

and thats the last time i fall apart to save myself 
our story passed time, written like a book up on the shelf
and i swear im always
fucking up
nowhere to run

everything is 
uncomfortable
its never fun

and i wonder why
im staying up
to see the sun

maybe i should just go to bed

[cherry]
i’m stuck underwater 
and i just cannot find the space to breathe 
its hotter and hotter 
i sweat through my collar when ur with me 
took it all in i just sat back 
i don’t wanna fall don’t wanna backtrack u saw my heart and u cracked that
i saw ur heart and its matte black 
i saw ur heart 
u know its not perfect 
but fuck it were trying 
so lets get something working

II. seasick (ft. cherryrizla) [jolst x lavendertxwn]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
she had her life in a picture frame
had her future signed away
he had managed to escape a mess
a year with none to blame

take me away from my innocence
i could only dream that we were kids again
once i had fallen i had never left
it was u that once had told me what the sigil meant
now the journey begins
hundreds of souls never to speak again
i could be different but pride is a sin
u couldn’t manage urself let alone a
trip to burden many like yourself
disregard to hundreds and their health
all in search of feelings never felt
you were so selfish u didn’t deserve it

and now the memories come flooding back to me
like a ship at sea we capsized, never recovered the bodies
we went down burning (in a ball of fire)
draw back the curtains (in her funeral attire)

and i can’t wait to find you out
as life goes by i feel my time run out
hey i wouldnt be surprised if you hate me
i been struggling alone on the daily
i know im a lot to handle baby
tell me if you need to breathe, i’ll be waiting

I. eulogy for a funeral [jolst x irby]

【﻿ｉｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｓｅｌｌ，　ｋｅｅｐ　ｏｎ　ｂａｒｇａｉｎｉｎｇ．】

thank you so much for listening.

prod. farber x @jang0x
(additional piano implemented by me)

another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

i cannot leave when the ground has been holding me
weep and repeat, cause the cycle has grown on me
you'll brush it off, "oh he's spittin some poetry"
but really i'm trying my best so you'll notice me
i ain't been up on my luck in a minute
it must be my fault that my health has diminished
but i'll fight my way through this shit to the finish
cause i'm all i got, and it's all i was given
i wish they saw what i see on the daily
but i no longer desire a saving
i've learnt a lot, but i still fuck it over (i always fuck it up)
birds feeding out of my chest while i smolder

i watch them fly away
my intestines in their veins
i'm in an empty space
in a stagnant state

this moment's passing me by
but just whose fault is it this time?
with wings made of sludge
blue is more than just the color it's made out to be
what chilled lips to cave into the temptation of frost
if the truth won't sell, keep on bargaining.
having the upper-hand doesn't determine how many fingers it's broken
but you can assume a lot, right?..
RIGHT?
-
another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

with wings to fly [prod. farber x jang0]

@splashgvng @jolst

lyrics:

maybe i’m just sick of everything you said
i keep it all inside my head
you really make it bend
all the blood you bled is a river
nothing inside my heart could deliver
are we suppose to feel this way
you burned a hole inside my face
i’m a hungry soul
locked inside this hole yeah i want more
you said to let it go
i thought this time was gold now it’s all cold

you’re picking at my head i could feel that
(calm yourself we’re only here for the moment)
i’m stuck in a trance i can’t get back
(drown yourself in your tears yeah its fine)
here’s to how i’m left
(even without all the air from the outting)
oh dear you stole the rest
(nothing inside could erase what you started)

if anything gold could stay this year
i’d rip my heart right out my chest
if i wasn’t told to feel this fear
then maybe i wouldn’t be distressed about it all
i’m tired 
i’m sorry that i’m a liar
i’m trying to be better
but i guess it’s all for nothing

you’re picking at my head i could feel that
(calm yourself we’re only here for the moment)
i’m stuck in a trance i can’t get back
(drown yourself in your tears yeah its fine)
here’s to how i’m left

(even without all the air from the outting)
oh dear you stole the rest
(nothing inside could erase what you started)

maybe i’m just sick of everything you said
i keep it all inside my head
you really make it bend
all the blood you bled is a river
nothing inside my heart could deliver

you’re picking at my head i could feel that
(calm yourself we’re only here for the moment)
i’m stuck in a trance i can’t get back
(drown yourself in your tears yeah its fine)
here’s to how i’m left
(even without all the air from the outting)
oh dear you stole the rest
(nothing inside could erase what you started)

calm yourself we’re only here for the moment 

drown yourself in your tears yeah it’s fine

all 4 nothing (prod. splashgvng x jolst)

old one i got around to finishing
rly love this one hope u do too
yr support forever means the world
new drops been goin up on the main go check those if u want
goodnight decks nation

lyrics:
say
grace
underneath ur breath
i still wonder if muttering that would be worth
the
taste
of whats holding u back
while im tethered to weights at the bottom of all these 
waves
they come crashing down
i just hope to god im making u proud
i guess that i just win some & lose some
never meant to abuse what we got but i

feel my life pass me by
something’s off, you’re not by my side
guess the roses i got were consolation
saw the hand i held in constellation
knew u best as earth precipitated
all my problems now are predating
the present, i wanna feel
like its never for the best, what i want is real
i’ve saved what is left, all behind my shield
i’ve made that left, now im right to deal alone

say grace [metlast x 5head]

if this is how it ends
then we don't need to talk
and i don't need to hear
it's never what it was 
when all of this is over
and all of this is gone
you will still remain
inside the afterthought

whatever you say i do
know that you've been changing i'm changing too
but i can feel it against my throat
but i've been ok alone
first time was the best time, was the last time 
did you know that?
held open like it's so bad
try to slow down just can't

and she gets mad again
and i just call it in
like what's the problem?
i'm just like all of it
and i get mad again
but i don't deal with it
blowing smoke on the ceiling

better yet i couldn't lie to you
there's not something else that i gotta do
i'm uncomfortable and i couldn't move
but i feel this bed isn't cold enough when it's just me
i found a way out the dark but it's harder to start
when i just couldn't trust me

if this is how it ends
then we don't need to talk
and i don't need to hear
it's never what it was 
when all of this is over
and all of this is gone
you will still remain
inside the afterthought

feels a little late to be checking in
i've been checking out and i'm sick of it
and i've been sick of me and i've been sick of you
and every single thing that i couldn't do
straight out the darkness it reminds of 
of the footsteps, they're two sizes 
and you noticed and i broke down
left as soon as it's cold out

something else that we could counteract
disappear but i've been cool with that 
disappear yeah i've been cool with that

stuff to say you could have said before
i don't see a thing worth staying for 
i don't see a thing worth staying for 

and she gets mad again
and i just call it in
like what's the problem?
i'm just like all of it
and i get mad again
but i don't deal with it
blowing smoke on the ceiling

Remnants

Produced by @pekarot_161 & @xlhc
Mixed by @decksmusic
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli
Art by BunillaBunz

LYRICS
It's a hat I wear these days
It's just one of many
I keep a picture of you in my pocket
I'll commit this to memory
You are the missing piece I never knew I needed
But you fit in so seamlessly
And after all this time I still can't believe it
I found my family

But do I actually deserve it
I feel like a serpent
That slithered in to take
What is not his away
Impostor
I fear I'm an impostor
I shed my skin
I'm a monster
You let me in
Now I'm not sure if I can measure up

I'm not sure If I can be the one
To bear this weight on my shoulders
There's so much expected of me now
And I'm still tryna figure out
How to care for myself
While being there for someone else
It's not so easy
But I know that you'll be there for me as well

Listen on Spotify!

Dad Hat (Prod. Pekarot & Extra Large Holiday Card)

second single off album w/ @flesh golem
mix & mastr @fleshgolem

lyrics

it feels safe here 
layered warmth
with my skin on ur skin 
something forms
there lays pain here 
and till im forty i wont ever take for granted what was alleviated 
im all urs

im all urs x4

what is left 
is all urs 
rotten flesh 
in my pours

opening up
ive been trying
speed not what she used to yeah and no she cryin 

i been mixing it up 
i been frying 
breathing in these particles 
my flesh been dying

throwing up 
on the phone 
outta touch
but right at home 

right at home x4

oh my word
every single day 
every single day that goes by x2

be safe, for me

be safe; for me (flesh x pekarot)

produced by triple gemini (soundcloud.com/trplgmni)

something else left to say here
i don't know what
everyday left to change pace in the dark
holding out for the first time that we go back straight through
the streetlights from the backseat of the car
and i'm deeper again
i pour it straight and its days gone
you couldn't notice and then (couldn't notice again)
i think i'm losing myself (think i'm losing myself)
and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

do you think its the same thing
or you think that its gone?
cause its only worth saving
if its you that i've got
and i know that the waiting
gets inside of your thoughts
and the time that its taking
makes it feel like its wrong

thought that we'd do it again on the same street
making nightmares out of daydreams
june as cold as my face feels
but its easier when you hate me
i just always thought it was safe here

and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

tell me again how it gets in your head
i'm just leaving its better this way
i'm just a second away
i'm just a second away
what would you call that?

read through the texts, do you wonder instead
why i'm making it easy again?
i'm just a second away
saw how it ends when you stay
and i wish we could fall back

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

Somewhere Else (prod. triple gemini)

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

I. eulogy for a funeral [jolst x irby]

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