Different mix 💙💫 || Bilal shabib - BiGSaM - SALAMEH - Mahasneh - A5rass

instagram: deemaali716

مزيج ليل.

مزج ليل 🌌 تيجيش ع بالي بالليل.

Different mix || 💙✨ ILLIAM - Dodix - Shabjdeed  - SALAMEH 
instagram: deemaali716

مزج صعب زي الحياة، ما بعد ليل. 🌁

Different mix ||| 💙☄️ Synaptik - SIILAWY - A5rass - Ammar Hosny
instagram: deemaali716

مزج مطر، ما بعد بعد ليل. 🏙️

مزج مطر، ما بعد بعد ليل. 🏙️

كل البثوث خادعة الا الموسيقى || 🤍🎸 LiVe

لأنو صراحةً انا مش منيح


- زياد الرحباني
٢٢ مارس ٢٠١٤ 
كل ما تسألني كيفك؟، بتذكر إني مش منيح!!
يعني بتعرف لو بلاه هالسؤال، اوميلي بايدك بس تلتقي فيي بكون ممنونك، يعني لانو صراحةً أنا مش منيح، بس معقول تئلي كيفك وقلك مش منيح؟!



قوم نحرق هالمدينة - مشروع ليلى
زياد الرحباني
انت منيح - التنين

انا مش منيح 🖤🥀


لأنو صراحةً انا مش منيح 🥀🖤

هنا،
عند مُنْحَدَرات التلال
أمام الغروب وفُوَّهَة الوقت
قُرْبَ بساتينَ مقطوعةِ الظلِ
نفعلُ ما يفعلُ السجناءُ
وما يفعل العاطلون عن العمل:
نُرَبِّي الأملْ .
بلادٌ علي أُهْبَةِ الفجر.
- محمود درويش


- زياد الرحباني
٢٢ مارس ٢٠١٤ 
كل ما تسألني كيفك؟، بتذكر إني مش منيح!!
يعني بتعرف لو بلاه هالسؤال، اوميلي بايدك بس تلتقي فيي بكون ممنونك، يعني لانو صراحةً أنا مش منيح، بس معقول تئلي كيفك وقلك مش منيح؟!


محمود درويش قصيدة نربي الامل
قوم نحرق هالمدينة - مشروع ليلى
زياد الرحباني
انت منيح - التنين
فرج سليمان - شارع يافا
حسام السيلاوي
انا مش منيح
يا يابا

مش منيح ² 🥀🍃

للذكراتِ لحنٌ لا يُخطئ 📍❤️
21.4.22 || 1am

مزج من الذكريات وفوضى.

- The good doctor.
- Vodka .. Song by Al Selem Band .. ازازة فودكا
- مارسيل خليفة
- قصيدة الاحبة هاجروا محمود درويش 
- Makmelnash .. Song by Mohammed Saeed .. مكملناش .. محمد سعيد
- Akher kas .. آخر كاس .. الاخرس
- راشد الماجد بترجعين
- ليلي siilawy  .. حسام السيلاوي
- فاضي شوية .. حمزة نمرة
- اغنية احلى ايام .. محمد باش .. كم مرة مشينا عهالطريق
- جنة جنة يا وطنا، رحلة في ربوع الوطن فلسطين.
- Phoebe Buffay .. Friends
- لا مش علي ما يرام ابيوسف  .. Ma Yoram
- متخافيش .. ابيوسف .. مجتش في بالي النهارده غير بتاع ٣٠٠ مره
- We Hikaytek Aih .. Song by Amr Diab .. وحكايتك ايه .. عمرو دياب 
- Om Al Mawjat .. Album by The Synaptik ..  ام الموجات .. السينابتك

HaVe a gOOd tiMe 💙
DiMa Hajajlah ❤️

للذكراتِ لحنٌ لا يُخطئ 📍❤️

نهدي كما كتب غسان كنفاني في رواية "ما تبقى لكم":
"إلى «خالد» .. العائد الأول الذي ما يزال يسير".

متشائم جداً لكنه مبدع 💙 || مزج غريب، شعر ومشاعر وكلشي حزين.

31.3.23.   3:53am




المقاطع:
[ -وين عمالك بتتطلع!
- على حيفا.
- بس حيفا بعيدة كتير من هون وما بتنشاف
- بالعكس حيفا قريبة كتير، وانا شايفا
مسلسل عائد إلى حيفا]
الثقافة مش نتاج جدال ذهني متجرد  _ التغريبة _ وليد سيف. مسلسل التغريبة الفلسطينية.
تفرانيل مصطفى ابراهيم.
عَمْروُ حَسَن. متشائم جداً لكنه مبدع.
محدش شالني وانا واقع - قصيدة خايف.  ابراهيم فرج
مراحل الاكتئاب مسلسل قلم حمرة الحلقة 2
قصيدة رسالة من المنفى محمود درويش
مسلسل غدا نلتقي "الحرب"
مسلسل عائد إلى حيفا - الحلقة 25
مسلسل التغريبة الفلسطينية
قصيدة ما لي أحن لمن لم ألقهم أبدا - تميم البرغوثي | Tamim Al-Barghouti
شید قصورك   Shayed Kosoorak
عزف عود الثلاثي جبران



نص ملهوش دخل بس زحمة راسي بتجيبش حاجة وحدة، فصادف نفس الوقت:
”أراقب انس يحدّق في شاشة هاتفه، لا يفعل شيء محدد، لكنه ينظر إلى شيء بعينه، ظننته في البداية يتفقد الوقت، ربما يحسب كم ساعة تبقى لموعد ما، لكن سرعان ما باغته في السؤال. "كم الساعة يا انس". انتشل سؤالي ذلك انس من غيبوبته ليجيب. في الحقيقة كان انس يحدّق في صورة صديقه الشهيد على شاشة هاتفه، أفكر، كم مرة يا ترى يراها في اليوم؟ ألا يحزنه ذلك؟. كان ينظر في عينيه كأنما يخاطبه بشيء ما، كأنما يوصيه بأحد. ينظر إليه كلما جاء ليتفقد التاريخ أو الوقت، كلما أراد محادثة قريب أو صديق، كلما أراد إضاعة وقته او البحث عن معلومة ما. ينظر إليه كي لا ينسى، كي لا يسامح، كي لا يعتاد كما اعتاد الكثير قبله جوار الاعداء، أعاهدك يا صديق الروح ان لا تميل الروح حتى تلقاك. أعاهدك ان لا أسير فوق دمك الطاهر، ان لا يغيب الثأر، وان لا نقبل الدية.“
31.3.23.  4am

متشائم جداً لكنه مبدع 💙 || مزج غريب، شعر ومشاعر وكلشي حزين.

🛹
You have an unread message...
fOr yo ma friend 💙


لـَ الك انتَ 💙🌑  Once I was 20 years old

Believe me, I know how hard it is to be in pain.






~ The sixth try, a conflict with copyright, I had to change some things in order for the rest to reach you. 3-10pm
15.7.23


_________________________________________


> 🛹:
i don't remember the first time we met 
not even the last

i don't remember the first time we talked
or the fact that you texted me first

not how I walked to you as if no one was there but you 
or how i rushed to text you back because I wasn't waiting 

for you
for ages, for centuries, for reason to be alive
to feel human, being enough, just like in books 
because before you I wasn't a robot, and i totally knew love


you weren't my first "out of the ordinary" 
i definitely went out of the damn zone 
i screwed up a lot before, but never thought I'd love someone like that again 
so if my mom needs a new reason to start a random fight
without asking I'm showing her your eyes 


I don't remember the first time we physically touched
It's not one of those times when time suddenly stops
but I might do remember standing there seeing only you
with my hands shaking and a mind refusing to calm


i couldn't say "i love you" I'm not good at expressing myself
but you already know that because not me who set there just thinking how gorgeous your eyes are
then said the most random thing like when is your birthday

for some reason you didn't tell me, i have a really bad memory i know
but believe me i would remember something like that, so i celebrate you every day


i lie a lot, like my life depends on that
but trust me when i say "you kept me alive"
that's when I realized, i just got me another reason to die 
when I'll lose you, because that's what I'm really good at

27.2.24 1pm

_________________________________________



u matter

 let go, Kiddo. 🥏

It's the pain you feel in peaceful times, the pain that no one expects you to feel. It's as if someone gives you a gift and it hurts you, as if you touch a rose and you cry. There's a fucking thorn in that rose, but you would've known if you'd paid some damn attention.


Let It Out Of Your amazing Mind, Kiddo 🥍.
It's okay, Kiddo. You're gonna be fine. or Guess what, you're gonna be even more than fine, you're gonna be fucking happy maybe not today. but I promise you that, And I give you my word, and you know that I never lied to you. Someday soon, Kid.

it's okay, there is no need to cut yourself, no need to hurt yourself, that's what they're all good at, that's what they all do. you need to be strong for you, you're not doing what they do, you're gonna keep you okay. Scratches, cuts, scars not just what appears to the eye, there are so many scars no one knows about but you, so please kiddo take care. you don't have to kill yourself, we all gonna die eventually. You just need to wait. it's not your fault that the world is on the edge. you okay, and I'm not asking, I'm telling you, you are okay kiddo..
I'm not giving up on you, not just yet, not now, not ever.

You're fricking 21, and it's fricking 2023. just remember one damn thing, you owe them nothing, you owe yourself everything, so grow the hell up.


.

11.11.23   1-7pm



lEt gO, vee 💙🪐.




It has become easier to write to you, since you are not here to read, but this is proof that I still remember you
27.2.24


Scars

ToU

فوضى، زي الدنيا بدونك، زيي بدونك!

The power went down today for several hours after the evening, all the lights and the Internet traffic were gone, my phone died several times, and I remembered you, not as if I had forgotten you for a moment, but when I sat alone in that room just candlelight and writing, I remember you. I remembered how much you know that this is my favorite moment all winter. The darkness, the paper, the pen, the candle, and the sound of the rain, made me start writing to you. I wrote a long letter saying how I miss you. I wrote about the several months that you were absent. I wrote about the many times I cut my hair and was about to break our break up and send you messages to inform you about that because you're unlike everyone get excited about it. I wrote about that mutual friend who went away, and I couldn't even tell you about it and miss him together. I wrote about that time about a month ago when I heard your voice by chance in the most random place, and how that reminded me of our last meeting nearly half a year ago and how I panicked to see you there by chance and I never told you. that cold meeting, that stupid two-second handshake when I felt like I would never let your hand go. I wrote a lot, knowing full well that I'd never send it. Instead, I chose to do this collection of voices that tell a little about what is in my head. I know you won’t listen. I know it won’t arrive, but one day, perhaps not for twenty years, you'll come back and hear it. I hope you will. You will know then how sorry I am, and how much I regret letting you go , because as I have always told you, "you are worth it.”

I always say, “ان تكتب يعني ان تبتر صوتك” Therefore, Iam not the owner of all the voices, these voices, but there are thousands and thousands in my head competing to come out, the problem is that you're not here to listen, so listen.

31.1.24 12:50am




Flashback. Not enough. Because the message will not arrive, as if this will arrive! I miss you.  

30/1 6pm - 31/1 2am

to U ❤️

illusion
4.2.24.    4:48am


.................
this is also an old message that lost in my books and never arrived to you...
I thought about writing to you a lot every damn day, when I had shocking news, or even when I didn't have anything, that emptiness was screaming at me like hell. I was afraid that one day I would get so high that I would call you, but to be honest, even if I did, the idea that I hadn't heard your voice for a long time would terrify me, and I would stop immediately. I wrote to you when I cut my hair. I wrote about how I never regretted cutting my hair, I regretted cutting you off. and I regret it every day keeping you away from me. I thought that when I kept you away from me, it would be difficult. You know because you're different, but I never imagined it would be this difficult. I had gotten used to losing two or three friends every day, but that day I lost you was disastrous, driving me crazy every second. I think about it constantly, all the time. I ask myself a question that I have never asked before: Why did I give up on us?
When I started writing this letter, I remember that I wanted to say something specific, but this damn introduction made me forget everything, but just a quick question: Have I ever told you that maybe I love you?!

23.9.23
….    ………

I'm sick of people asking about you, whenever my friend comes up with your name out of nowhere, when my mom asks about you. That's why i didn't want to tell her about us, it was never about shame. See, i know you, you leave all the time, that's what you do. and it's okay i understand, i can live with that. but with your damn name around me every second, and with the fact that I don't wanna hear it anymore. That's it, we're done.
20.2.24 2:31am

I can't be one of the things I spent my life fighting it
19324

For a long time since we stopped talking, I was afraid that I never told you "I love you". But I did, check Jan 16, 22. 
4.6.24 | 4:44am

illusion

nasi
live, life, love, leave.
1.3.2024 ,, 2am - 7am
 ……………………
You must hold on with all your strength to the things that keep you away from killing yourself
1.3.24
……………………
We didn't have an artist in our family, we didn't inherit talent. We didn't have someone with eyes like the ocean, we didn't inherit attractive faces. We didn't have a gypsy in our family history, we didn't inherit the gorgeous gypsy red hair. There was no rich person or king in the family. We did not inherit gold or kingship.
We inherited certain genes, we inherited the love of poetry but not the ability to recite, we inherited the love of mathematics and the curiosity to solve problems but not the intelligence, we inherited the love of walking long distances in one direction, but not the actual ability to leave, we inherited the passion for sports of all kinds, then we inherited the weak and narrow breath, we inherited the love of history and archiving, and then everyone keeps forgetting the person came before them, we inherited the love of preserving memories without... Memory. In fact, we have inherited weak memory, which is something that terrifies me every day. My mother says that I started forgetting from an early age. I didn't give it any importance, until it started to bother me about things that you couldn't help but notice, and I started little by little to show resentment. I saw the disappointment on my mother’s face today when she forgot the food in the oven. I looked closely as I savored the burnt food: I reached this stage when I was half my mother’s age.
But I love my great-grandfather, he is one of the characters that I would pay anything to meet, to live with in his time. I never saw him, even my father didn't see him, but I heard some stories, not enough, because when you come to this matter nothing is enough. But I love him.
And I'm here today to say again that time flies, but it flies in one direction. It will never allow me to fly in that direction to meet you, but you know, maybe you are me.
5.3.24 ,, 12pm

……………………

How about I tell you something I've never told anyone before and you forgive me every time I choose silence and not open up to you?
I have never liked gatherings, what if all these people want me to leave? I may always tell you that I don't value romance or relationships, because what if the only person I love, and I spend my whole life loving in silence doesn't love me back, or what if all this time he also loved me, all these wasted years for what? All these walls between us, how will they break?.
I always tell you that I have no friends, but in fact there are many people around me who think that we are friends. This means that there are people who do want to be my friends, but what if they suddenly leave? What if they can't stay? What if they wanted to stay and I couldn't? What if they don't accept my many mood swings and my different mind? What if they do and I suddenly discover that I started to change for them? I get attached to them? And suddenly I forget who I really am.
I have never thrown a party for myself in my entire life, twenty-one years, five schools, several colleges, thousands of people, dozens of occasions, and I have not thrown a single party, for one reason; What if no one comes, and I'm left alone? What if everyone comes? Do those people really care about me? Invite only a few people I care about? Okay, what if I invited the only three people who I care about in the universe and they did not come? What if the only three people who I care about don't care about me? What if they come? Does this mean that at any moment I should prepare myself to attend the funeral of someone I love again? What if everyone I love suddenly leaves? What's the point?!
6.3.24 ,, 5:25pm



time flies

2late
29.4.24



I tried, believe me I tried to write about losing you but I couldn't, me who run immediately to writing no matter what, now I can't write about losing the person I spent my life… Do you know what, it doesn't matter, I mean it. Yes it seems hard, yes you're no longer around, yes we did nothing from all the things I thought about, but it's okay, you're happy, I know it, and that's enough, that's what really matters. I can tell from your smile that you're happy, comfortable and feeling good. I hope you do well in your life, ..will always love you but I'm gonna let you go now. I have to.
16.4.24 ,, 2:51am





So hey how's everything going, I don't know why i wanna say this to you really bad but um.. I drink milk now, around midnight and still not sleeping until next couple days, well not to be healthy or something just to be kid again, i guess. As you know i stopped drinking milk long time ago, yeah last time it was in a baby bottle or whatever it's called, anyway I have no idea why I'm writing this, i think I'm not accepting everything yet, the whole getting older thing and my birthday's coming soon and this road goes only in one direction add to all of that you being away i mean come on why it has to be always like this, why does everything everyone we ever wanted go to someone else, to people who didn't even dream about it, didn't think about it all night, only to suddenly come and get it?. But yeah like I said, it doesn't matter anymore, the milk is good though right? I still think it's not very tasty, with cereal yeah maybe, like i can understand the younger me not liking it but it's not about what we like right? This is what years teach you, anyway i hope you're good and not nostalgic for the past like this, because life must go on, it doesn't stop for anyone apparently. 
7.5.24.    12:43am


SOLO, so low

للبلاد ولها...
12am-6am 
25.5.24



عديم…


عندما كان يرى ذلك المفتاح المعلّق على جدار بيت جده يتساءل لِمَ هذا؟ ولِمَ هو معلّق على مسافة مرتفعة لا يطالها، فهو مفتاح لا يفتح اي باب على كل حال فلِمَ كل هذا الخوف من فقدانه؟. يسأل جده عنه فيخبره دائماً ذات القصة دون جواب، يخبره عن البيارات التي كان يمتلكها، فيفكر قليلاً ويشعر حقاً بأنها تذكرها كما لو أنه رآها من قبل، فهو لا يلحظ هنا في زحام مدينة رام الله الا شجرة الزيتون التي تراها اينما ادرت وجهك في هذه البلاد، لكنه يعلم يقيناً بأنه رأى البيارة في مكان ما، هو فقط لا يتذكر متى او اين، ثم يقول ربما عند تلك المحطة القديمة عندما حملت الحافلة اربعة اضعاف حمولتها وماعزين وثلاث دجاجات واتجهت من جنة الشمال إلى جبال الجنوب، رحلة نزوح بلا عودة، رحلة رفيعة المستوى نظراً لأشخاص خسروا بلاد برمّتها للتو، لكنه يفكر مجدداً، لقد ولد هنا في هذه المدينة، لم ينزح من قبل كما لم يكن حراً أيضاً، لم يغادر بيته ولم يعد إليه يوماً، ولازال يعتقد بأن عودة سعيد تلك كانت عودة مغلوطة، فطالما لم يعد هو إلى حيفا، لِمَ يعود أبا الخلدون إلى خيبة "دوڤ"؟. لكنه طفل، لم يقرأ ذلك الكتاب من قبل، فهو لا يجيد القراءة بعد، بطريقةٍ ما فهو يحفظ تلك القصة واخرى عن ظهر قلب، ربما دفنها احدهم فنبتت في عقله، او ربما سمعها من قبل، لكنه لا يتذكر اين او متى ليس الا، لا يعلم من اين يأتي بكل هذا الغير معلوم ...
15.5.23   4:04am
 
….

ليس الأمر فحسب الشعور الدائم بالغربة، وبأنك في حسابات الوجود لست موجود، انت شاب عانق العشرين، طويل لون عينيك كلون زيتون هذه البلاد، ولدت هنا تتحدث مثلما يتحدث أهل البلاد، تغضب ثم تهدأ فتصبح أحنّ من ظل شجرة زيتون في ظهر تموز على الفلاح، تحب اشياء وتكره أخرى، لديك اسم قوي تريد تغيره في اقرب وقت لأن اسمك حتى اسمك يشعرك بالغربة، الغربة عن هذه الصفة والقوة في اسمك، اقول في نفسي: ماذا لو سمّاني أبي"عديم" وخفف عني حمل شرح نفسي لجميع من اقابل، ان يسألني احدهم من انت، فأقول انا عديم، ماذا عنك. انت موجود، لكنك لا تملك وثيقة تثبت انك ولدت في ذلك اليوم من ذلك العام الشديد وطأة كما كثير من الأعوام على البلاد، لا تملك هوية تقول لك أنك فلان ووالدك فلان وأنك ذكر وان هذه صورتك حتى اذا نسيت شكلك في زحام الحياة تتذكر نفسك، لكنك موجود، فقط بلا هوية. أتعرف ما أسوأ من ان تشعر بأنك ميّت، أسوأ من ان تفقد كل شيء يربطك بالحياة؟! ان لا يكون لديك شيء تحمله معك في محفظتك أينما ذهبت يثبت لك عكس ذلك.
عميد، فاقد الهوية
23.4.23




للبلاد ولها

 فـلَسْـ𓂆ـطِين 💚🇵🇸
نعيش نبحث عن أجوبتنا.
الموسيقى عازل جيّد بينك وبين كل المهازل التي تحدث في العالم الخارجي  💙🎶
“الموسيقى تأتي في المرتبة الثانية بعدَ الصمت حينَ يتعلقُ الأمرُ بما لا يوصَف” 
"سكر الاخبار ... شغل اغاني" 💙✋🏻...
Deema Hajajlah 
لطالما كانت الكتابة والموسيقى مخرجنا الوحيد
instagram: deemaali716

DiMa HajajLah 💙🎶

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