Michael's Miffed

The jingle for the greatest game of all time.

Bitlyball

LYRICS:

Tree turning brown
Garrotted and knotted
Dress up the pig
And wolf it down
Felled by an axe
Running as fast as you can
Your clumsy hands
Needless to say
Needles in hay
Burning
A burden, a burden
Close the curtain
I heard it
Sharpening claws
Creaking doors
He was here

Anywhere you are, we find you
Anyone you want, we find you
Pretend you’re asleep, we find you
Box at your feet, scrabble like animals

Dressed up a pig to spite you
Dressed to the nines, despite you
Open and shut behind you
No whispering

Enter the room, we blind you
Ribbons draw taut, we bind you
Key in the door, confined you
Just wait and see, tick tick tick

Pins and needles inside you
The sum of all parts, combined to
Break in a day, designed to
A snowflake in hell

Don’t speak to strangers, they speak to me
Prowl the streets, kids eat free
I saw a man, he saw me
I saw a man, he saw me

Don’t move a muscle or they will see
Force a smile, grit your teeth
I saw a man, he saw me
I saw a man, he saw me

A Snowflake In Hell

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shake off the patriarchy. christmas ain't all snow and gumdrops.

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Christmas Song 2020

LYRICS:
My name is father fuckin’ Christmas and I’m here to SLEIGH
I’m gonna burn you down in a seasonal way

I’m not afraid of being hurtful cause I know you’re keen
You’ll pop a boner like the owner of your ENT

I know you like to pretend you’re not that vain a guy
But you made out with a mirror and nearly lost an eye

When it comes to your dad, you have some jealousy
Cause of his favourite kids, you’re not in his top three 

And every one around you pities your pretty girlfriend Emma
You’re in a city, girl, c’mon - you could do so much better. 

Couple bucks for Tinder, find a fella, write Mike a letter,
Thanks for the memories, you better please pack your shit, and get out

My business at Christmas is disses and rhythms I’m spitting out words like they’re dicks at a prison
Don’t piss in my pocket and call me your hero I know you jerk off in a mirror you weirdo

The lump on your back you should really get checked, the foul-smelling breath, the hair of a muppet
The hole in your teeth, the diet of meat, a body a lot like a sex abuse puppet

Career in the toilet, commitment avoided, the burgeoning fear that no matter your choice of employment, instead of feeling enjoyment, the voice in your head will still be disappointed.

I know every one of your worst insecurities, Brokers’ obscurity, racial impurity, rank immaturity, lack of humility, fear of stupidity... penile flaccidity.

A tiny bud struggling to grow
A little shoot pushing through the snow
A wriggling worm cowering in fright      
A shrinking violet wilting in the light

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