Glass in my lungs
Or did he say his lungs felt like glass?
Either way it’s a chest thing 
Center of me centers me 
Like an anxious magnet fuzzy yellow pain
And I lurch in the right direction
Terrified of tweeting something stupid
Embarrassed high or useless

Chemical lips reprint leave a trace like 
history sticks to your feet and my face
Cashing it out the high wire between 
getting whats yours and 6 feet or 60 
Nothing like when you told me you loved me 
gritting out teeth and watching us squinting
Watching myself watch me watching myself 
Its gross and circular but this vessel I cant complain about

Because I like it for the most part

Running my mouth again

U Beat The High Score || Prod. by MAJORA

lil snippet of a song I was trying to write months ago but used Frankie Cosmos lyrics as a placeholder

fool cover snippet -- frankie cosmos

Title Track (Death Cab for Cutie Cover)

I'm covering this song that my friend Cory made!! Here is the OG:

Spotify ---> open.spotify.com/track/6xJiFBd68e…9cc4b4c29efd4500
Apple Music ---> music.apple.com/us/album/oh-behav…6665?i=1694536944

Lyrics

Hazy eyes
Why you tryin to dig in my skin?
My hearts a mess
But you wanna go for a swim
Blood stained lies
Another night of me staying in
Clearly I
Could stand to say hello to my friends
Hello now
You caught me off guard
But you're reeling me in
I think it might be
Worth it
Chorus:
Oh Behave
Show restraint come on
If I move too fast
Then I might fall down
It's a shame
These nights move too fast
Hold my hand and maybe we'll make it
Bloodshot eyes
Too tired from the day can't begin
Wake up night sweats
I'm shaking to the beat you're bringing
Based on that
I think I'd like to dial your digits
Call me back
It's 3am quiet but raining
You caught me off guard
But you're reeling me in
I think it might be worth it
Chorus:
Oh Behave
Show restraint come on
If I move too fast
Then I might fall down
It's a shame
These nights move too fast
Hold my hand and maybe we'll make it

Oh Behave!!

You are responsible for yourself when you have been drinking

Dependency Exemption

Long distance relationships require patience

Awake

This is not another garage talk yeah
Kids in the house they can’t hear our mouths talk
Bodies are shaking with fear or with rage
I tend to mix em up this late in the game

Our tea’s getting colder
While we rhyme that with shoulder 
Burning bridges to the verses we won’t write til we’re older
But I want to get there soon
Or at least I want to get there with you someday

I am trying to save what is left of this body that is failing me
I know I shouldn't behave this way 
But I don’t think a song will change anything

Okay Annie let’s take a deep breath
Let’s walk to the beach and get out of our heads
There’s a street performer on wealthy playing guitar and bells with her bare feet

When it gets dark and I get sheepish
And you get anxious when we’re both quiet
Please don't take it the wrong way
I just needed a good film or story

I am trying to save what is left of this body God has given me
But what the fuck do I say to anyone 
When my body always feels like such a cavity

You don’t love me
You don't know me
Then you get pissed and I get lonely
I wake up and say I’m sorry but you’re gone

In a thousand years my cracked bones
Will be on display in Stockholm
The bottom of me is the part you can count on
To show up if you sample enough times

Walk around the block in my PJs
Walk to Billy’s hey Mr. DJ
You can put on whatever you want to 
And the song says

I am trying to save what is left of this body that is failing me
I am trying to save it

You don't love me
You don't know me
Then I get pissed and you get lonely
I wake up to say I’m sorry but youre gone

Im learning to take a look at my performances
I'm not afraid to take points
I'm not afraid to peel back some layers
If you have any suggestions

Remember when we saw the black bear
And I shook like a leaf with dog hair
On my sweatpants
In the hammock
A lot of miles from town 

You don't love me
You don't know me
Then I get pissed and you get lonely
I wake up to say I’m sorry but youre gone

You don’t love me
You don't know me
Then you get pissed and I get lonely
I wake up and say I’m sorry

I’m sorry

Bones on Display

I had
Wait fuck
I wish my kitchen had more Natural Light in the morning
Im pretty thirsty right now
I'm trying out a new brand of deodorant 
You can probably see the spots right now
And i'm seeing different spots like back when i was in high school
After the 800 meter
Back home we ran it clockwise instead of counter clockwise
I don't know why

If I wanted to know why you were in a mood I would have just asked
Leave me alone im in a mood right now why did you even ask

Tires are cruel cus I’m in-inside to play Pokemon 
I’d always start with bulbasaur and sometimes I’d use all my nuggets at the end of the game

I wish my dad would go to the car dealership at the end of each week

And my brain runs like state media

state media

goddamn 

I wish my kitchen had more natural light in the morning

State Media

Staring At You

Going To Georgia (The Mountain Goats Cover)

We Have the Facts and We're Driving West

She says I'm a perpetual derivative of myself
She's saying words like change and different
Man you get the picture

What's that camera technique where the shot 
is fixed onto the person's front while they're walking
disoriented
I'm really
disoriented

confusion is my weapon
the floorboards warp and talk shit
as the gaps in the law are abused
confusion was her weapon after 
merely relying on instinct she sprinted
headfirst
into 
the house
of cards
you know who you are
you know who you aren't

needles with friends that are other needles too
the shed out back is way more benign at 3 am than
you expected
and if you struggle with identity
spend your spare time chewing on your teeth
well this language is singular
our memories only go so far

concise works for stories but not quite
in the real life
the math falls apart at the margins 
confusion is my weapon the floorboards warp
and talk shit they talk shit
and they know who they are
they know

There's Something Wrong
with Me 
you're empty
I'm empty as the quarantine
control the information by roshambo
I wanna stay but I go
I want to care but I don't

I know who you are.

Confusion Is My Weapon

Online streamers I watch are some of my closest friends
And I'm learning to be okay with that
Snow in my boots as I'm walking up to your building
And I'm trying to figure out which window is your room

In the summer you'd get fucked up
while I'd be trying on your make up
its nothing that we cant solve together
you can take my heart divided whatever

Get Vulnerable

She says 
respect doesn't always have to mean fear
rolling hills turn into cliffs 
the sea is licking at their heels
I never really knew the way you felt
like I never truly know the way I feel
Your clothes are in my laundry pile
your writing on my bathroom mirror

In the springtime I'd get fucked up
While you'd be putting on your makeup 
I hope we can solve this one together
you can take my heart divide it
distribute
whatever you
want

Get Vulnerable
everyone got vulnerable so why can't i get vulnerable

Face down in the sofa I go
"are you okay?"
she takes her nose out of the book
goes "fuck you just say"

Okay so piles of goodbyes look pretty nice
when you're a liar
when you get back home
the spiders clap 
and sing and form a marching band

incredibly vulnerable like children
or sleeping 
or both
I'm selfish but that doesn't mean anything
I start to mean something
when I trust you
I trust you
I trust you

Get Vulnerable

Get Vulnerable (Brevity is My Weapon)

track art by @kohtalojc ---> https://twitter.com/KohtaloJC

I keep my teeth clean 
I’m brushing my teeth 
and your brushing next to me 

Sometimes I’m nervous 
my beds only a twin size 
sometimes my arms get tired
I think we’re closer when we high-five

 I want to drive you to the docks 
out on the bay view but I’m not 
so serial killer more like you are my satellite 

You are my satellite 
If I would have wrote that song I would have got it right
You are my satellite 

 I’ve been googling bike repair this is my dad‘s bike from the 90s
The gears are fucked so is the front tire 
The chain needs oil I’m no MacGyver

 There’s so much to be in touch with on my bike

 Let’s bike Reeds lake
The petoskey trails the roads by my moms house 
I want to bike to Ann Arbor and back fuck the buses
I wanna get lost get off track 

You are my satellite 
If I would have wrote that song I would have got it right
Yeah you are my satellite
I wish that thought was mine
Instead I plagiarize
I’m thieving lines

I wanna grab you by the shoulders 
And shake the poetry into you
There are things that I am feeling
That I want you feeling too
That I want you

But I stutter and pause too long
If I need to say it I’ll say it in a pop song
I want to communicate telepathically 
This is Enders game
This is a sci fi movie
And milo can’t save me now

You are my satellite etc etc etc

Cat Calender Epilogue (Teeth Bed Bike Satellite Emily)

So afraid to even show my face
When there literally are no stakes
It’s a control thing
Control the dialogue 
Control my disappointment
Kickin shit that I find
On the beach
In just a couple of weeks
We’ll be locking in
I’m not freaking out
It just washes over me
But that’s the part that freaks me out

What’s wrong with me 
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me

She says you could achieve 
The same effect 
With a tree ratchet 
And a couple of bean bags
I send a screencap
From Amazon
Customers who bought this also bought 

A sense of morbid unreality
I scratch it til it bleeds
Boring shame
Chasing leads 
I feel like a brat 
I just want to leave

Tree Ratchet

my cover of this lovely track by @songsforthesad-666 !!
the original song: https://soundcloud.com/songsforthesad-666/crouch-remastered

sometimes i feel like im not alive
and i cant feel my feet or my hands or my face
and i have to remind myself that its okay to be desperately sad
as long as theres a break in your pain

don't let me fade away
i can't close my eyes 
don't let me fade away
i'm struggling struggling to stay awake

sometimes i feel like im on a rollercoaster
but im just laying down
and i have to grip onto my duvet just so i dont fall out
and then i snap back into the world around me
and he welcomes me with a bitter cold hug
and he sarcastically me wishes me good luck

don't let me fade away
i can't close my eyes
don't let me fade away
i'm struggling to stay awake

crouch (originally performed by gloomy)

It Doesn't Get Better Than This will be out April 3rd on all streaming platforms

Closed til the morning I bang my fist on the door 
She says quit being dramatic 
Now I'm pretending to be bored
This joke seems so familiar but as I turn to face it
I gotta steady myself on the sink
And keep my eyes wide
Keep my tie straight
I walk into the room and try to keep my shame at a close range
When it leaks out
And When I notice it does
You are my back pocket scapegoat
Now forget about it by breakfast

There should be a third me
Someone who could be the mediator
Someone who could say come on guy, lets find some common ground

Well instead the two of us decorate the porch
With all sorts of junk from the warehouse
Am I awake or am I in another house

Closed indefinetly I wrap my fists in a T shirt
Bust in, grab my resources and bolt before the cops show
I get home and make a comment about her summer trip
She catches my tone and I'm out in the open

I pretend I'm not
I will not bite
The undertones are clear but man it's just a wednesday night
So I slip through the cracks
I spill chips all over my lap
I vanish into what looks like myself

It looks like myself

I claim it as a dependent 

I want that exemption

But I don't deserve any exemption

Dependency Exemption (2020 album version)

We’re crawling home from the party
I act aloof in a violent way
Wet hair is starting to freeze
Man I just want to be correct
Doesn’t have to be true
Only here in this argument 
And we’re too drunk to follow a single thread
My smile gets angrier 
As you lodge your complaints
I am one thousand feet tall
I am the people I hate
And now you’re retching horribly 
I’m annoyed outrageously
That things are getting dangerous 
Or I flip on a savior complex
Or I barely snap out of it

And now I remember what you said
I do
You kept saying
What do I do
What am I supposed to do
What do I do

How Big Do You Want To Draw Your Circle

Marry Me

Cold Shower SZN

La di dum I’m so dumb
I can’t believe I fought that bear
On top of that roof
On my birthday
Right after you 
Nearly tipped the canoe 
I blacked out on Election Day
She says I’m disingenuous 
Saying things like “maybe that’s true”
Right now I’m disingenuous 
But most of the time I’m just confused 
God I like you
And you know it too
So I dance around it 

Remember when you said
Comment sections under your favorite songs
Are the only good ones
Yeah I agree think of 
Tree Ratchet
We Have the Facts
And of course all the Front Bottoms 

And right here I’m disingenuous 
Maybe pandering even though it’s true
Right now I’m disingenuous 
But hey 
Sometimes so are you 
And God I like you 
You know I like you 
So I dance with you

It doesn’t get better than this

We Have The Facts And We're Driving West (full version)

Annie (First Day Of Film School)

What

Get Vulnerable

Eyelids hot with sleep
Sighing stressy broken teeth
But I remind myself I’m afforded the luxury
Bike to Ann Arbor and back
Write some songs and cue the laughtrack
And even when it’s pretty good it’s kind of bad

Do you feel like an unnecessary person
If it’s okay with you
Could I sample one of your songs 
I appreciate what you do

I am collecting all the spiders
And circumscribe her
When she asks for one more song
And it’s a lot like counting tiles
Or bending fingernails
Control myself and just try to move along

Thank you for that note you sent me
Helped me get out of my head
Helped me gain some perspective

I am collecting all the spiders
I circumscribe her
When she asks for one more song
And it’s a lot like counting tiles
Or bending fingernails
Control myself and just try to move along 
I am collecting all the tongue bites
It doesn’t sound right
When I structure it like this
But as long as it keeps moving
I learn to catalogue
Control myself and wait til the feelings gone

Thinking about thinking about it
Trading guilt for validation 
Then watch that fall out my pockets
Stand over myself
Watch me try to write about it
Get exhausted 
By the third derivative I’ve totally lost it

I am collecting all the spiders
I circumscribe her
When she asks for one more
It’s like a really high place 
Or never finishing songs 
Control myself and just try to move along
Spiders 
I circumscribe her
When she asks for one more song
And it’s like posting all my writing 
Anonymous 
Online
Ration myself 
Go home when the feeling dries

Bend It Back

Congratulations To Everybody

Supernaked

Big ups to @stafford_beats on the production for this one! Go blow up his page!! Had such a rad time working with him. 

Okay we're going Moonside
Hit the black light
Now that your roommates have all gone back home for Christmas
I like your shoulders
I catch your eyes roll there's a stubborn smile as I tear through your records

You rinse your piercing in saline solution
I can hear you chatter from the couch 
No outstanding warrants for my arrest now
The walls are thin the bass is loud

Breadcrumbs on my feet stuck
Trying on your make up 
Posture as suggestive
Back away from spend more
Timing you

This house feels like a fan dub 
Awkward just to listen
To Five Iron Frenzy
You're skanking 
You had to explain to me what that meant
Little pain in the jaw but we do it again
Little pill that we bought 
Now I can see what you said
I can feel what you said
Now I am what you said

Supernaked
The barriers are so low I talk with my eyes closed
Supernaked
I made this in blender the culture I've yet to figure out

(supernaked)

Breathing in your hair on your Kawasaki
Feed your Tamagotchi when we stop for snacks and beer and stuff
We're seeking waterfalls and sneaking 
Glances at our cell phones
Sorry I'm Hi lets go

I'm the only one left sitting when they take the bread
Fin asks me if I'm okay when he sees me wringing my hands
I can't observe the effects
Or have ten kids and relax
Man I don't know what I am
But I know I'm not that
Right now I'm

(supernaked)

Dependency Exemption x Stafford - Thin Walls

Wednesday, July 8, 2020
1:35 AM

I said
With anybody else
The nosering rings a bell
But with your friends 
I can't remember

I'm crushing on them all
How'd they learn to be so vulnerable 
And confident
Somehow they run that
Parallel
Well I'm rounding myself out
Reading how to read about
3D modeling
And hip hop production techniques

Why can't I like things just to like them
Select my tea with more conviction
Than learning Japanese
Well fuck the internet

And that’s me
Looks like I'm looking at the camera
But I'm looking past it at ya 
On some Tim and Eric bullshit
And that’s you
Where the laughtrack is the punchline
And we were in a summer jam this whole time

Nose ring!!

I dunno if we passed Dwayne back there
Cicadas buzzing in the thick wooded morning air
And I try not to seek these moments out 
But I am bubbling up 

Cause it's you!
And the sun!
And the morning!
And it all rips right through me!!
All technicolor and grinning
When we jump in the lake undone~

We can put our love in a box 
In a moment wrapped up nice with a pretty bow
Or we can speak in morse codes of "i love you"
And keep the thing a little more tangible

Continuous 
This might never end
Continuously changing
We ellipse and come back again

This song will have to end eventually 
Or I guess that I could start it over
Or we could see the west coast or Paris
Or we could see the white Cliffs of Dover
With your head on my shoulder
Or with the precise words of comfort 
Or the tiny infinite moments that people
Like me try to write down and make me numb

Lets make them continuous 
This might never end
Continuously changing
We ellipse and come back again

Rarely do I find comfort in uncertainty 
But you've got me on the edge of my seat
I'm waiting for the next thing oh

Continuous 
This might never end
Continuously changing
We ellipse and come back again
We come back

Continue?

"this love is an investment and I consume more happiness than I destroy, but I'm learning I'm just as selfish as I was (before). What am I allowed to want is sort of what the question becomes."

*edit it's kind of a gross song now that i think about it. but idk maybe necessary to observe my thinking on it if that makes sense

thing i found on my hard drive from a couple yrs ago

Blood in my fingernails then
Shrugging as I start painting the sink
And I start to think
For the first time this week
You meant it this time
Didn't you
Probably

And you can fuck it up or black it out
But it's a type of shame that you can't misplace
And I want you to know that
I'm always gonna be this way
Probably

probably

858 Fourth St 7 (happy valentine's day)

milo
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ did u get that thing i sent u *:･ﾟ✧*:･

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