you'd swear it was your first night going out
last night you looked like someone I should save
greet me with a spin - that knocks me out
I held the door, you led the way

now you pull apart, then tease a pout
eyes linger overlong, then break the gaze
carefully collect your broken smile
folded on the first hand; played the game

a cigarette ignites your sense of style
careless with your skirt - your lack of shame
thought it was the first time I'd been found
I guess it's just the last time you got paid

untitled

try a new love; it's
just like you said it is.
but I wouldn't know -
my head in the sand.

don't tell lies
you inspired. I'm
just like you were.
the last thing I heard,
you're gone

Punk Frances

darling, can't you tell
you hide it, but not that well
you're lying on the phone
the truth is in your tone

what's wrong, I ask
who knows, you say,
it's just another day
ok, I say,
well, in that case
lady, let's get along

Fine Equine

in the morning
you say you want to
I say
I need a little time to think about it
in the morning
you say you want to
I say
I need a little time to think about it

I've been on the outside looking in
with all my friends
I've been on the outside looking in
with all my friends
and someday I'll regret not going home
for now it's just a place I go
for now it's just a place I go
for now it's just a place I
go

outside looking in

painting by Picasso. it's a pentimento

doctor, doctor
there's got to be some way
back home, please fight
I've got to stay
 
doctor, doctor
there's got to be some way
back home, through this night
I want to stay

if you're so sure,
I'll tell my friends
I guess
I'll guess again

I played it close
It's in my chest
I'll rest

doctor, doctor
there's got to be some way
back home, please fight
I want to stay

doctor, doctor
there's got to be some way
back home, through this night
I want to stay

doctor, doctor

I hang it on an old hope -
something you forgot you said:
a threat to make a new ghost
learned it from a book you read,

well

You kept me in your roto.
Knew you had another friend.
It kept me coming back, though,
and it beats waiting around, I guess.

So,

my kingdom for a handjob -
a problem with an empty bed.
I think I held out too long -
my pride under your wee bootsteps.

Cut out the small sense of danger,
you’d be no one
and I’d be long gone….
oh, who am I trying to kid.

Without a slight hesitation
I’d be holding a boom box at your doorstep,
but that’s not what you want, no…

cuz I’m a fuckin dildo.

I'll put it in a new song -
one where I'm all smooth and shit,
and I get to keep my clothes on,
and I'm not a stupid idiot.

I’m a dildo (2022 demo)

in my worst moments,
I don't hate that I'm alone
my heart consumed in silence -
God, it's good to feel so full

now my blood's the poison
and I can't separate anymore
my failures collect
it's been eight years since before

could you even bleed it clean -
the separatist in me
crestfallen fool I'll always be
to escape in one sweeping motion, oh
to fade in just a moment
what a dream
what a dream 
what a dream

I'm an automated, downward-moving,
sluggish, seeping wreck
just a speck
they'll forget
they'll forget
they'll forget
they'll forget

would I fall into whatever light they show me
would i fall into whatever light they show me
they show me
would I fall into whatever light
could I come back if I made it right?
oh, who will know me?
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me
who will know me

in my worst moments,
I don't hate that I'm alone
my heart consumed in silence -
God, it's good to feel so full

speck

so much for Sunday
didn't have a lot to do
I spent it just breathin in, 
then breathin out - it's cool

sit and watch my hands shake
yeah, I should give it a rest, it's true;
let Mondays go fast or slow 
don't mind if I'm with you

slip sideways past pounds of snow 
I used to trudge right through
my old ways like a wind that blows
it's just a nip on my nose when I'm blue

we found a new scene;
I drink it down but my heart fills like a sieve
I guess it's slower since I got clean
but for the will to wake up,
it just hasn't done much for me

I left a key on my brother's table
I wish I'd asked forgiveness
just wished him luck with his girls
and left in silent hope they will not succeed us

and slipped sideways past pounds of snow
I used to trudge right through
my old ways like a wind that passes
through the sails I slashed
in how they flail and flash
know I've finally found the truth:

can't help but feel it when the feeling's up
pull it together, then it all comes crashing down
I never meant to be around
you were glad I was,
well who's happy now
I live to write, write to stain the page
through profundity tried to justify the waste
no one wants to be like this
if I could change it, I would
this is how
I save
the day

sunday

If we don't say it 
we're gonna burst into flames
Since the first time I saw you
I knew what I wanted
And then you did too
And that blew me away
Of course it had to happen this way

I've played it all out in my head
Found a thousand perfect reasons 
to leave it unsaid
But if every one just ends up the same
Maybe, just once
I try not to live up to my name

Don't get caught in
Her misfortune
don't get caught in
her misfortune

But trouble's never looked so good

Sweetheart, I'm saying it
Say you'll just wait a bit
and I'll call you a gamble
And I'll mean it and that's why I'm afraid
That we're a losing bet
I can't just let it burn out
I don't have much good luck to waste
Don't slow down now
I guess I'm just glad we could have
Though it's sad to say

Spell it out - don't count on my nerve
At the slightest I'll waver
but just give me courage
Give me one good reason to say
We could try, we could work,
and we'll do it today
And you'll get your way
I could see in your eyes the first time that we spoke
and we were at the each other's throat
If not why, we just knew we felt strongly that day

Why burn a candle if it's consumed by the flame
Cuz it's warm and it's light and it's right and God help me

Sweetheart, I'm saying it
Say you'll just wait a bit
and I'll call you a gamble
And I'll mean it and that's why I'm afraid
That we're a losing bet
I can't just let it burn out
I don't have much good luck to waste
Don't slow down now
I guess I'm just glad we could have
Though it's sad to say

Sweetheart, I'm saying it
Say you'll just wait a bit
and I'll call you a gamble
And I'll mean it and that's why I'm afraid
That we're a losing bet
I can't just let it burn out
I don't have much good luck to waste
Don't slow down now
I guess I'm just glad we could have
Though it's sad to say
it can't be today

a losing bet

I hang it on an old hope -
something you forgot you said:
a threat to make a new ghost
learned it from a book you read,

well

You kept me in your roto.
Knew you had another friend.
It kept me coming back, though,
and it beats waiting around, I guess.

So,

my kingdom for a handjob -
a problem with an empty bed.
I think I held out too long -
my pride under your wee bootsteps.

Cut out the small sense of danger,
you’d be no one
and I’d be long gone….
oh, who am I trying to kid.

Without a slight hesitation
I’d be holding a boom box at your doorstep,
but that’s not what you want, no…

cuz I’m a fuckin dildo.

I'll put it in a new song -
one where I'm all smooth and shit,
and I get to keep my clothes on,
and I'm not a stupid idiot.

Do you want or do you need it
Given up in fragile looks at soothing touch
When you ask me not to leave yet
Like I could ever have too much

If that's as close as we get
In the end, I'm better off
For as badly as I want it
If you've never had it, then it can't be lost

Cut out the small sense of danger,
you’d be no one
and I’d be long gone….
oh, who am I trying to kid.

Without a slight hesitation
I’d be holding a boom box at your doorstep,
but that’s not what you want, no…

cuz I’m a fuckin dildo.

You said we could
you said we could
you said we could
you said we could
You said we would
you said we would 
You said we would
you said we would 

I'm a dildo

bite the bruise on your lip (2023)

Fall through on the first step.
You can't lose if you fake it.
There's no weight if you break it;
repudiate, refuse.

You wake up with a dull ache -
a shit deal someone else made -
your complex calling heartbreak
another chance to use.

When they ask, you say,

"It's just a name, it's just the same,
it's just what I asked for now.
It's bad news, so sit the fuck down.
Here's someone to blame.

"Don't ask for change, it's just a name.
It's something you can't live down.
Leave it or you'll live it out
just the same.
It's just a name."

Collapse on the tile floor.
Stand up, you can drink more.
It's the pain you were made for
and the cure they left to you.

Sleep deep in some new pain.
The light’s on in your hindbrain.
The disconsolate campaign
to cheat yourself is through.

If you wake, you'll say,

"Don't ask for change, it's just the name.
It's something you can't live down.
Leave it or you'll live it out
just the same."

It's just a name, a growing shame,
a last step while you're reaching out.
Yeah, keep up the big letdown.
Just the same.
It's just a name.

You time and titrate to be free at last,
or else you-
You sit and stagnate.
"It's the circumstance," you say.
But for the trauma, 
I'd be someone else.
 
So watch me waste 
my second chance.

How could you say
it's just a name?
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.

You go, I'll watch you walk away.
You'll fall, I'll have it all one day.

Titre

I run around,
I suck in air,
I'm losing time,
and I think I care

I catch a look.
It's the one I lack:
to be in like
and be liked back

Oh, this is how:
1. build your wealth
2. waste your time
3. kill yourself

I guess it's right;
I get along.
Made up my mind
but I made it wrong

I run around,
I suck in air,
I'm losing time
but I'm getting there

happiness in three easy steps

Good day, bad day;
you say, I say.
I see no way
you see saying "hello"

May brings bee stings,
new things, heartstrings,
wet wings. Dead kings'
frowning faces say, "no"

They want your claim;
whisper my name.
It's an old flame; it's a freeze frame; 
it's a new slang; it's a bad word,
you can taste it, I know

Ooooooooooooooooo

faust & the real girl

take your time (fin)

on and on and on and on

Burying your head in the newsprint- tough it out
Been a little down, lost a little self control
Bury your heart in new blood- take 'em out 
For the chase when you know you've got it good for sure

And you could come around if it feels right
Every night you almost forget that you're keeping score
Yeah, you could come around if it feels right,
But you've been breaking hearts since the day they shattered yours

I just spent 
three fucking years 
trying to make it 
all make sense

And I'm tired
of all the open lies 
and how bad guys just get to 
shit the bed

You'd swear it was your first night going out
Last night you looked like someone I should save
You greet me with a spin, that knocks me out
I held the door, you led the way

And now you pull apart, then tease a pout
Eyes linger overlong, then break the gaze
Carefully collect your broken smile
Folded on the first hand, played the game

A cigarette ignites your sense of style
Careless with your skirt - your lack of shame
Thought it was the first time I'd been found
Guess it's just the last time I felt brave

I just spent 
three fucking years 
trying to make it 
all make sense

three fucking years

a tiny part of god

like a stone, I fell
I knew I couldn't have caught myself, but
I won't back down

like a rose, all thorns
you threw back all of your charms, and you said that
you won't back down

if time is all she was, then I forgot
I keep my promise, hon
if time is all she was, then I forgot
I keep my promise, hon
if time is all she was, then I forgot
I keep my promise, honey

promise

staring out into the station
chilly people fill an empty car
breathing out and the picture fades
someone staring back and they're wondering who you are

coulda been what i was taking
never thought that I'd be one to
stick around if something's breaking, but
I see myself in pictures of you 

on my chest, your necklace presses
a puzzle piece above a mid-line scar
in one ear, I whisper guesses
you're in and out with the rhythm of my heart

valentine's day

Harmony and the harder guitar part thanks to Maria French.

Cover: Judith I (1901) by Gustav Klimt

Judith closed her eyes and came to bed.
She cuddled up to me and then she said,
"Oh, I know you so well that I wept."
And I felt warm tears around my neck.

Judith rose from me and locked the door.
She reached inside her robe and she caressed and she swore
and she broke over me like a beautiful storm
and the tears on my neck were like a fucking downpour.

Judith hid my face behind a hood.  
I felt the world collapse and understood.

Judith (2017 demo)

Cover: La Trappistine (1897) by Alphonse Mucha

Somewhere in Your Head

Cover: Golden Tears by Gustav Klimt

Fall through on the first step.
You can't lose if you fake it.
There's no weight if you break it;
repudiate, refuse.

You wake up with a dull ache -
a shit deal someone else made -
your complex calling heartbreak
another chance to use.

When they ask, you say,

"It's just a name, it's just the same,
it's just what I asked for now.
It's bad news, so sit the fuck down.
Here's someone to blame.

"Don't ask for change, it's just a name.
It's something you can't live down.
Leave it or you'll live it out
just the same.
It's just a name."

Collapse on the tile floor.
Stand up, you can drink more.
It's the pain you were made for
and the cure they left to you.

Sleep deep in some new pain.
The light’s on in your hindbrain.
The disconsolate campaign
to cheat yourself is through.

If you wake, you'll say,

"Don't ask for change, it's just the name.
It's something you can't live down.
Leave it or you'll live it out
just the same."

It's just a name, a growing shame,
a last step while you're reaching out.
Yeah, keep up the big letdown.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.

You time and titrate to be free at last,
or else you-
You sit and stagnate.
"It's the circumstance," you say.
But for the trauma, 
I'd be someone else.
 
So watch me waste my second chance.

How could you say
it's just a name?
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.
It's just a name.

You go, I'll watch you walk away.

Titre (2018 demo)

1. speck
2. don't go
3. my meds make my songs suck
4. cut cloth
5. Judith
6. titre
7. flowers
8. met my mentor
9. Nikki
10. shroud
11. wet grass

Set List As It Stands 12 31 19

Nikki

I won't try to change your mind.
can't wait to occupy
what little space she left behind.

I had hope this time,
but nevermind.

I always choke on smoke on your breath.
and we won't make it.
we won't make it.
cuz still you bite the bruise on your lip.
we won't make it. 
we won't make it.

bite the bruise on your lip (2020)

mostly improvised, tracked and recorded using an off-brand kindle fire and cheap bluetooth speaker in the burner phone days - circa '17. where there's a will there's a way

I would call out to you if you would answer.
I would make love to you (if you felt it like I do).
It's just bad advice.
Dumped and… jacked(?)
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
YOU GOTTA SMILE AND IT SEEMS TO ME THat ahh nah nehehhnehhh-
fuggin dick. yep.

Knew you were debased. You kept yourself a part of what I could not have been.
Make me
your last love
before I make the rest
so small
You're so small
you're so small
You are and you're shouting down on me
You're so small
You're so small
and I could break you.
(I would break you)
How much more so, seeing it happen
How much torture (I'm twisted)
and worn out
You're tight
and wound to breaking.
I've been broken by you.
All this time, my love, it's time.

(Like I know you do)
I'm not the same man
(Like I know you do)
you were waiting for. This changed
into some harm
and you tore me. As disorder reigns
disorderly (sailerrr)
And I'm facing the fate
(I'm the last you'd tell)
I'm under stress.
She's under me
and I'm looking, baby.
I'm looking baby
right in her eyes
(And I don't care)
The fate of my mistress
(And I don't care)
she's waiting to 
take
it.
Something waits for her
waits for her 
it's-

It's the last time I see you
It's the last time I see you
Nowhere for trees to stand
In the street
We'll be rid of them
Be rid of them

But, hey

The last place where trees stand
In the middle of the street
The last place where trees stand
No one needs to see
Least of all, me

The last place where trees stand
In the middle of the street
The last place where trees stand
No one needs to see
Least of all, me

I won't make it all that way
(stop)
I wasted away
(maybe)
And I won't make it-
make it all that way.
Just make it through the day.
No, it's a long, long way.
make it through the day,
and it's a long, long way.


deprescient

Popular tracks