produced, written, mixed & art by me

lyrics:
flipping over stones 
rolling up clothes
toss em into tubs
they reek of old smoke
cold home, im in my own hole
sitting under cover, i lost my whole hope

im looking back but im never moving backwards
complete the task, smoking up with some matches
cut the chat, need to rest im z catching
play it back, im in my room im never active
face the facts, your taste is whack, you looking batshit
we making tracks, shaded gang you cannot match us
you sounding trash, it makes me laugh, i will not answer
the walls are black, ill just rehash, it feels relaxing
and i wait and i wait and wait
looking for a way out
and i wait and i wait and wait
gotta find my way out
cause its colder in the deep end
press pause and i reset
press pause and i reset
gonna drown in the deep end

7:77pm

produced, written, mixed & art by me
i think this is one of my best

lyrics:
Fragmented reluctance, I’m left relinquished in my efforts
To write a a quick apology, for lacking in attendance
Too many notes that I have written
I could show them to the world
Acting on my mechanisms
Of defence, my heart it always hurts
Want to cut this short
Cause i dont feel the need
To keep trying on everytime it goes to shit
cause now i see
that each time i collapse It gets harder to restart again
Spent my entire year suicidal in an apartment

Its fucking static building up 
I cant even cry
deluded in my pit of shit i’m lost inside my fucking mind

Rain on the window sill
I cant feel a calling no
I cant feel a calling no
I cant feel 
Scared that ill never feel
I can see it coming yeah
I can see death coming yeah
I can see
Rain on the window sill
I cant feel a calling
I cant feel a calling
No i cant feel a calling
Scared that ill never feel
I can see it coming
I can see death coming 
I can see it coming yeah

i dont have a plan of action
playing games until i cant
miss loading up effexor scripts
i clutch empty trays within my hands
withdrawing for like 2 weeks now 
feeling like electro when i eat now
cant think, my brain is frozen
my stomach hurts and i cant sleep 
please cut me open
see whats wrong
within this vessel, have i broke it?
couldnt afford to fix it if i wanted, still so fucking broke. uh

side profile, i will erase it
the slate that i have made will be removed without a trace
only routine that feels slightly certain
is my daily searching for a purpose, im lost within inertia

Rain on the window sill
I cant feel a calling no
I cant feel a calling no
I cant feel 
Scared that ill never feel
I can see it coming yeah
I can see death coming yeah
I can see
Rain on the window sill
I cant feel a calling
I cant feel a calling
No i cant feel a calling
Scared that ill never feel
I can see it coming
I can see death coming 
I can see it coming yeah

undercut

produced, mixed, lyrics, art and vocals by me
sample: soliloquy - clams casino

lyrics:
when my will dries up
and my fingers numb
and i fall apart
and my breathing stops
i lie awake every single night
my mind is gone 
no more second guessing every second thought i got

desperate, im weathered
afraid forever
(fuck)

when my will dries up
and my fingers numb
and i fall apart
and my breathing stops
i lie awake every single night
my mind is gone 
no more second guessing every second thought i got

grovetending

produced, mixed, lyrics, art and vocals by me

lyrics:
its okay, its okay, its okay to be afraid

coming down

produced, mixed, lyrics and vocals by me

sample: amy devastated - dan the automator

lyrics: 
i used to swim alot
now i'm afraid of everything
lost in a sea of indecision

theres explosions everywhere
only wanted the best for you
screaming everywhere
i only wanted to rest with you

face down
my safe house
i miss being at the playground
i lay down
im praying now
i miss being the person i was

i used to swim alot
now im afraid of everything
lost in a sea of indecision

explosions everywhere
i only wanted the best for you
screaming everywhere
i only wanted to rest with you

face down
my safe house
i miss being at the playground 
i lay down
im praying now
i miss being the person i was

whatever

produced, written, vocals, mixed & art by me

this 1 for myself, living in retrospection

meagre

produced, written, vocals, mixed & art by me

lyrics:
and its always just something next
the taste of defeat, i swallow my best
nobody even need to know extents
i wake up and go back to sleep, another to forget
body shutting down under excessive stress
looking down at how far the depression gets
maybe its just not meant to be, still i detest
i didn't try so hard for this long for you to not be impressed

there confound you, stare your fill and get your money's worth
bloodied eagle, on the way, imma make it work
my bad, i jumped the gun, should have guessed it'd hurt
im so overwhelmed with all this shit, i been hauling earth
blood on my hands still isn't washing off
they said i was going up, but am i even though?
everybody out there swimming and I cant even float.
so i'll be changing shapes, i'm sculpting a soul
i don't wanna be me anymore, so i'll just be your hope
it's way too much to fear, it's like i'm barely even there
I can't go out of my way, i'm not proud if we being real

I don't wanna be here no more
blood on my hands still isn't washing off

and its always just something next
the taste of defeat, i swallow my best
nobody even need to know extents
i wake up and go back to sleep, another to forget
body shutting down under excessive stress
looking down at how far the depression gets
maybe its just not meant to be, still i detest
i didn't try so hard for this long for you to not be impressed




produced, written, vocals & art by me
mixed by praise @fuckpraise

memory receptacle 07/07/25

lyrics:

Let me sit inside this shit for a moment, im quitting it
I been asking god for favours like im giving in 
I swear Ill get you back one day just let me live again
The damage been done and I get that you not into it
I know it changes,
I see it comes back around just to change us
My own brain like a strangers,
My whole world looking like I installed some shaders
Its like im barely alive
Waking up inside my body feeling like I was just buried alive
I never wanted to have to tell you that this shit was a lie
But I finally met up with myself just to end on a goodbye.
I lift the cup up,
The scalp off,
That brain rotten,
Mouth froze up,
The taste buds get shaved off it

Like what you tryna say about me?
You been a joke for a while, dont bring that shame round me.

Choke, choke
Been acting lazy,
Still walk around so shaded
But I been busy dazing
And theres no peace when the days end,
This trauma truely ancient and I stumble through it naked
I needa clean up the
I needa clean up -

Its too late for all the time spent.

I needa clean up the
I needa clean up -
Im back where I started 8 years ago,
In the downstairs we were rapping as indigo
Remember that we would spend hours in studio sessions
With mattresses sound proofing audio

Now im falling backwards through hallways
This shit wracked my brain, hit the cortex with claw shapes
I guess its my bad, held my tongue and ignored fate
Destruction is all that you left us in your wake
Is it my fault that it ended this way?
Like I believed everything I would say
Collapse under pressure, stuck thinking is my faith for nothing if I cant believe the ordained?
Still I gave my heart to the shade,
The strength only tested when foundations shake
Still I gave you all of my praise,
I guess its on brand that you festered my faith
Still I have my heart to the shade,
Im standing up tall through the poison I taste
And its all for the eyes with no face
You were only but words, not even halfway.

gauzewrap

produced, mixed, written, vocals & art by me
mastered by coinslots

Lyrics:
Its like I got fucking dementia
Or tryna run with broken ankles
Dont know if itll do anything
Its like where am I
Between it all?


thinkingaboutit

produced, mixed, written, vocals & art by me
mastered by coinslots

lyrics:

SHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADED

More memories than I care to remember
It dont matter the time, I survived through heavier weather
Change the style every rhyme, only ever written for pleasure
"Its alive" what they screaming, crawling out of a fissure
I'll coat the world in the shade, this the shit I envisioned
Paint a face onto a face, i'm not the man in the mirror
I stare for hours at reflections, watching lights as they flicker
Relent my soul to you in parts, this shit wasnt ever just lyrics
I really felt estranged, now its strange how i'm a stranger
Everyday became not for years and thats the strangest
Dreams of Amigara Fault just so I could have a placement
Relive the memories, but I cant see their faces
Crumbs of weed scattered all over the desktop
I knocked the keef over and this shit got soaked in tear drops
Drive the mission forward, we aint taking rest stops
In the abyss smoking mariana, it hitting like a leg drop
Lets go home, I dont wanna be here any longer than I gotta be

Perlin noise for the camo
Shell toe, stepping out the shadows
I got hooks bigger than your vessel
We deep, deadliest catch
Theres no sight of the shallows

More memories than I care to remember
It dont matter the time, I survived through heavier weather
Change the style every rhyme, only ever written for pleasure
"Its alive" what they screaming, crawling out of a fissure
I'll coat the world in the shade, thats the shit I envisioned
Paint a face onto a face, im not the man in the mirror
I stare for hours at reflections, watching lights as they flicker
Relent my soul to you in parts, this shit wasnt ever just lyrics
I really felt estranged, now its strange how im a stranger
Everyday became not for years and thats the strangest
Dreams of Amigara Fault just so I could have a placement
Relive the memories, but I cant see their faces
Crumbs of weed scattered all over the desktop
I knocked the keef over and this shit got soaked in tear drops
Drive the mission forward, we aint taking rest stops
In the abyss smoking mariana, it hitting like a leg drop.
Lets go home, I dont wanna be here any longer than I gotta be

trench

produced, mixed, written, vocals & art by me
mastered by coinslots

lyrics:
I like to pretend that the ego has been defeated
So many times I had to reopen and clean it

I stand upright 
Unfurling a wrinkled finger
My nails peeled back
Curdled bloody printings
Carapace the skin,
World like a laser beam
Im pentioned patiently,
Im waiting for a disease.
I messaged 4, 5, 9 times
64 alive times
7 was my own diatribe
I was focussed on mild highs
Most of these years spent was really just finding life
It gets lower and when I though I should be climbing I -

And I look now like why the fuck was I crying like?

See the trajectory slowing,
and the resilience is lower
But ive become numb to so much of it
I dont really feel much of it
Balancing confidence on broken dreaming
Toppling often, had to pull away from the screenings
Watching my life through a screen becoming to much for me
Nowadays im more reclusive than ive ever been
The pieces were in front of me
For years these antisocial

Like I thought I was deserted but I 
SHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADEDSHADED

I like to pretend the ego has been defeated
So many times I had to reopen and clean it
Its just these constant battles that im beaten in
Attrition wiped down the beetle skin
The shell cracked, the bleeding begins
Throwing up when I see within

Another day, another day, no not again
Another day, another day, no not again
Another day, another day, no not again
Another day, another day, no not again

deserter freestyle

produced, mixed, written, vocals & art by me
mastered by coinslots

lyrics:

All i ever did was try to move this forward
Guess I got distracted but I swear ill sort it
Move between the projects, nothing here assorted
Stuck on other shit but not bout shit important
Lost my head again, guess thats plant the horseman
Something I forgot, im just so lost in boredom
Fell into myself and I awoke to chortles
Spoke with twisted bodies and I learnt contortion

My greatest fears all come to eat me 
Waking up, im not awake like why the fuck I gotta be me
Same pair of jeans, wear the same pair of sneakers
Its an end to nothing peaceful
I was crying for any reason
Sometimes its really like nothing is working
We wouldnt drop for shit cause I was failing to put any fucking work in
And then my stomach hurting
Down so bad I know I did you too dirty

And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
My head

Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
My head

And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
And its on
My head

Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
Be it on
My head

In disbelief at all its costed
My corroded string of thoughts disintegrate me its too caustic
Obfuscating every bar
I was bleeding from my nostrils
Im too brittle for this shit
I fall apart when you act frosty
These repeat behaviours erecting problems
Desperation in my face, I admonished
The mirror been a profit
Never hated the way I hate the person living in my body
My pockmarked soul the absolute of all that ive accomplished

And yet I trudge endlessly onwards
On foot over stink and carcass
Forcing teeth hard on the tarmac
My belief in all the apostles
My brother in arms, our armour
Formed of prayer the holy army
Four heads left, tally the fallen
Maybe I can forgive
But all that we've lost
Has left me afraid and hostile
Steeped in regrets and if im being honest, Im fucking exhausted
Paranoia arising through the seeds that were sowed in sorrows
I became the sediment we were living off of at the bottom

unyielding

produced, written, vocals & art by me
mixed + mastered by coinslots

lyrics:

I need to learn to say no

How you gon let me down?
How you gon let me down?
How you gon let me down?
How you gon let us down?
How you gonlet me down?
How you gon let us down?
How you gonn let me down?
How you gon let us down?

We endured 7 years we were on the way and I know it
I had your back when you was at your lowest
How the fuck you gonna let me down?
How you gon let us down like

I gave you my heart, my soul, my spirit
You know I did, you know I did, you know I did that shit
How you gon let me down
How you gon let me die
How you gon let us down
How 
How the fuck you gon let me down I put everything into this shit for you
I gave you everything like I was meant to do it
How the fuck you gon let me down

I spent nights lying awake and blaming myself for hiding
I dont cope with that very well
Sorta that thought that I let everybody down

Truthfully arkaden had never changed me
I had this shit in me all along I know you know it never claimed me
Couldnt remember the last time that I ever reached out
I fully disappeared and wouldnt blame you if you aint forgave me
Break down, tears slam the pages
Wont say goodbye but the memories fading
I repressed the embarassment and swore i could take it

Im still the same its just things keep on changing

Im still the same its just im so afraid
I was so ashamed that I just walked away
Im still the same its just -


Im still the same its just things keep on changing


obelisk

produced, mixed, written, vocals & art by me
 mastered by coinslots

lyrics:
Stepping outta the house
Tears welling up
Hair in my mouth
Ill be a man now

goodbye beachcroft

The Family Nobody Wanted

You Can See It In His Eyes

Sampled the Bouldergheist Boss fight music off Super Mario Galaxy

made on garageband HAAAA

Bouldergheist Boss Fight

kelpy da king

my current living conditions

lyrics:
how has this even happened
i thought that i was fine
cross these burning bridges
now im on fire
used to think that it was funny
now i cant cry
run in circles
killing time
its the same give it up
cause i cant fight
break the cycle

stepping through

follow @tundracolour & @shadedspaces instead

plant

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