i can't keep living like this

taurs: https://soundcloud.com/taurs

pale like a vampire caffiene keeps me wired
walking like a zombie cus im so damn tired
sleep for days because im not inspired
i fell for her games she was a really good liar
fuck the acid reflux my hearts on fire
drawing my sword stand my ground like a squire
lay down in bed and take a hit to feel higher
low life expectancy im bout to expire

cant tell if i love or if i love the feeling
still broken on the inside due time ive been healing
so fucking sick and tired of the pain ive been dealing
such a fucking screw up and my looks are unappealing

breaking down in private cause i dont wanna show the real me
ripped up shoes and cuts on my bare feet
lost in the moment and i dont mean the things i say
such a god damn idiot, this mental illness rots my brain

failing expectations cause im painted as the good guy
jumping into problems 'fore i get my fucking mind right
bloodshot eyes, every night im getting no sleep
staring at a mirror, tryna understand the real me

vamp1re

PRODUCED BY THE ALMIGHTY https://soundcloud.com/imotapeproductions

this song is a cover that could never compare to the original but this song by https://soundcloud.com/thorne-baker has had such a huge impact on me that 10 months ago (January of 2022) i decided to cover it. i was going through a very tough time and felt very isolated and making this and expressing something helped alot. i would've approached this song way differently now as at the time, the closest thing i knew to rock was green day(i promise that has changed lol). thank you teenage disaster for making this amazing song and i hope you enjoy my cover. :)

LYRICS
(WELCOME TO THE INTERNATIONAL BATTLE OF THE BANDS
THIS SONG IS CALLED ANTI-LOVE.)

IM SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING LIKE IM FUCKIN NOTHING TO YOU
IM SICK OF WAKING UP WITH COLD SWEAT DOWN MY BACK
IM SICK OF FEELING LIKE HUMAN FUCKING WASTE TO YOU

AND THROUGH ALL THE CHOICES WE MADE
YOU SAID THAT I WAS WRONG
BUT LOOK WHOS FALLIN NOW
ITS LIKE YOU NEVER EVEN LOVED ME
YOU NEVER LOVED ME, LOVED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE

TOLD YA TO LEAVE ME ALONE
BUT YA KEPT ON PUSHIN
KEPT ON PUSHIN

I WAS THERE WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND WASNT
SO, GUESS ILL TAKE A FUCKIN SEAT IN THE BACKGROUND
TAKE A SEAT WITH MYSELF

LEAD ON MISUSED
FUCKED UP ABUSED
SO TELL THE TRUTH
DID YA SHED A LITTLE TEAR WHEN YOU FIGURED OUT I REALLY DIDNT GIVE A FUCK
FEELS LIKE I NEVER KNEW YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE

PLAY THE VICTIM BUT YOURE PLAYIN WITH MY FEELINS
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WORK IM TRYNA FUCKIN FIGURE IT OUT
THE FUCK YOU CRYIN ABOUT
YOU DID THIS ALL BY YOURSELF
TRYNA CRY FOR SOME HELP

AND I DONT WANNA DIE
YOU PUSH ME TO THE EDGE
I GOTTA CUT YOU OFF
FORE' I DO SOMETHING I REGRET

ANTI-LOVE (COVER) *READ DESC*

the first time i threw a vocal track on a beat and called it a song. recorded in april of 2021 with a blue snowball and released after 3 days of learning how to mix, april 16th. (i was 14)

beat is "summer '19" by @producedbynat

LYRICS
running through the fields getting dirt on our shoes
smell of cut grass and the beach is in view
lost in the stars lying right by your side
nights like these are what make me feel alive
skateboards and streetlights mom wants me home by ten
it's getting late but i dont want this to end
cant believe we're almost teenagers, doesn't feel real
this might be my last chance to tell you how i feel

by your side (p. future nat)

my second "song" using fl studio
recorded may 2021 i think

hearts beating out my chest
on my way to get dropped off
this might be my chance
to show you what i've got
i've seen you at school
but we never really talk
we just snap back and forth
and talk shit about the jocks

head spinning out of control
i feel like im hungover
might not end up together
but i want some closure
didn't get much sleep
my eyes heavy like some boulders
feelings like i got the weight of the world on my shoulders

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