Upload 08.07.2019

i made this song in less than an hour
prod. loopy

============

i think we've heard
all there is to say
i know youre not okay
but i push u anyway
im so sorry
i dont know my
own strength
sometimes

i convince myself that u dont love me
probably to make it easier for when u see
when u watch me
collapse and tear myself apart

i dont know
where to go
but youre not here
lets have a beer
and drink like kids
i feel like shit
ive ruined this
and so have u
so
maybe oh baby we run
wont stop till we've gone way far past the sun
happy and free once again
maybe i shouldnt pretend
i shouldnt pretend
but
its the only thing that keeps me grounded
when i dream its only you but im surrounded
all these demons u protect me im astounded
when i wake and u are gone well im reminded

i fucked it up
i should give up
u will be fine on ur own
drink till im drunk
never enough
i wont be fine on my own

do u guys wanna hear some loser try not to cry on the internet

i still feelin ugly i want u to touch me 

i feelin so hopeless i hope dat u notice

i still miss ur touch when i thinkin bout  u
im so fucked like idk what to do
in the end idc we both kno life aint fair
i just hope ur fine lemme finish dis line 


im still hopeless sippin on dat potion 
Baby pls drown me in the Ocean
 
bby pls bby pls bby pls
im on ma knees on ma knees on ma knees
im on ma knees beggin u to stay
pls dont ask me im not okay

as soon u start to hate 
i kno ur love was fake
u got me cryin while i fucking hate myself
 

im still hopeless sippin on dat potion 
Baby pls drown me in the Ocean

drown me in the ocean

prod. loopy
mixed by @kvnny

i told you id be a better me
im so sorry that i lied
my disguise
kept me tied up
im feeling tired of all this

something inside me
is running and hiding
and letting the rest of me run free
i guess we'll see
if it works out
but something has been telling me its over now
so let this be my final stand
close my eyes and hold my hand
god i know that ive done wrong
so let this be my final song

let me fade out in the background
i feel like ive been caged like a dog pound
i feel like im insane
when you not around
but
im prolly worse when youre here
made a mistake
and forgot it with a beer
write another song about
you scream and shout at someone
who just wants the best
god im depressed
where did i go so god damn wrong
i think ill be gone before too long
so maybe just maybe it wont ever matter
and maybe oh maybe
its not a disaster
maybe youll be okay
and one day i can say the same
or maybe we meet and heavens gates

i told you id be a better me
and maybe i didnt lie at all
its the fall
that i must take to
fade away from all this
all the shit i talk
i know i was wrong
but i cant take that back so
i hope that you understand
im no man
im a boy
im destroyed
ive been hiding from all of my problems
and you filled the void

"but for the love of god pls let me go"

produced by @lilsadeyes and @nversad

i was yours, you were mine
i should've known i was wasting your time
i couldn't grow, i wanted to die
now when ever you text me i can't reply

so i guess i'll go get stoned
and wonder why you haven't come back home

i wanna give myself stick n pokes
i wanna laugh so hard i lose my throat

and now i've someone that truly fucking cares
doesn't look the other way when i'm alone or in despair
doesn't act like i'm the reason that my parents wouldn't cope
with the fact that i'm a loser so they left me on my own

she won't leave me in the smoke
when i'm sad alone or broke
she gon keep me on my toes
she gon hold me hella close

she gon be there in the end
when i'm lyin in my bed
she gon tell me how she love me
she could never play pretend

i was yours, you were mine
i should've known i was wasting your time
i couldn't grow, i wanted to die
now when ever you text me i can't reply

so i guess i'll go get stoned
and wonder why you haven't come back home

i wanna give myself stick n pokes
i wanna laugh so hard i lose my throat

and my heart fuckin' bursts
when i'm lookin' at her
she's the one that i need
she's the one i deserve

she's the reason i breathe
she's the reason i heal
she's the one that i want
and that's just how i feel

stick n pokes

Prod. Kado

https://soundcloud.com/bradyponder

https://soundcloud.com/lilsadeyes

<3

Lyrics:
Okay okay now think I’m on my way now 
Show up at the show and it’s time to bring the place down 
Think it’s time to cop a little place now
Maybe cop a tattoo up on my face now
Okay okay now think I’m on my way now 
Show up at the show and it’s time to bring the place down 
I just need a little space now 
I’m just hoping that you stay down 

Well okay okay is that all you’ve got to say
I’ve been keeping to myself I don’t know another way 
I don’t want to hang maybe some other day 
I don’t really want to go but I sure don’t want to stay 
I know that I’m the reason that you find it hard to care
All you needed was a friend I was never even there
But I’m tryin to improve cause I’m feeling pretty down
And I’m getting sick of no one ever wanting me around
Since I met you I re-thought a few things
My no love songs rule and the words that I mean 
I’m good on the Juul I e got my nicotine 
From the buzz that you give and the joy that it brings 
This blunt is getting short I just wish that it would last
It reminds me of the times that I’m never getting back 
I’m leaving pretty soon hope you’ll be here when I’m back 
Cause I think I think you’re  pretty cool and I thought you’d like that 

And she goes
You’re all I have and all I want but that won’t last no
That won’t last 
All alone I guess that’s fine
I feel at home when I’m inside 
I keep crying in my blanket 
I get sad but I can’t hide it 
I get low
Nobody to hold not one soul I can confide in 
I fall so quickly whenever you’re with me
But when I’m gone no you won’t miss me 
I’ve been getting high to change my feelings when I’m low 
All it does it make me choke it’s fucking up my throat 
I can’t even look at girls cause I don’t want to go 
Down another road that gets me stranded in the cold

Stay Down

Stay Down feat. Sadeyes - Prod. Kado

instrumental by: 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKruua3kCNz1nG0-02USDWg

mixed and mastered by me! :)

high school (prod. remghost)

she say that's its personal and I dont wanna know
texting other guys on your cellular phone
delete all our pics still gottem in the cloud
stay up all alone while i'm smoking on some loud 
wake up all alone and now i'm thinking about you 
feelin kinda sick i ain't even got the flu 
what the fuck i gotta do to get thru to you
drive all thru the night just to crash inside your pool 

let go of the feelings that you felt right here
ask me how i feel i'll say i'm feeling like shit
open up my eyes, see you in disguise
just tell me you're here

she say that's its personal and I dont wanna know
texting other guys on your cellular phone
delete all our pics still gottem in the cloud
stay up all alone while i'm smoking on some loud 
wake up all alone and now i'm thinking about you 
feelin kinda sick i ain't even got the flu 
what the fuck i gotta do to get thru to you
drive all thru the night just to crash inside your pool

it's been a minute and all the tension is killing me
i been driving for hours 
yeah fuck a meal or a shower 
I just been waiting to see you 
dressed in hot pink 
but this time the colors 
will fade into nothing
quit saying that you don't remember 
crying on my sweater 
i tried to make it better 
you just pulled over 
said that me and you can never be together
tears so soft like a feather
wait, the darkest heart cannot be harmed
we've had enough time to depart
you have my heart dont leave it broken here

she say that's its personal and I dont wanna know
texting other guys on your cellular phone
delete all our pics still gottem in the cloud
stay up all alone while i'm smoking on some loud 
wake up all alone and now i'm thinking about you 
feelin kinda sick i ain't even got the flu 
what the fuck i gotta do to get thru to you
drive all thru the night just to crash inside your pool

crash inside ur pool (prod. pretty boy ron x van beats)

I found myself when I wasn’t looking 
I fell in love with simply being
Being alive and being present 
I found god I felt heaven 
It was a beautiful accident
The way I came alive 
It was beautiful accident 
How I left my past behind 
It was a beautiful accident 
I was so lost and now I’m found 
Plant my feet on the ground 
I move forward I don’t look back 
Theres nothing for me in my past 
It was a beautiful accident
The way I came alive 
It was beautiful accident 
How I left my past behind 
It was a beautiful accident

3 7 13 - A Beautiful Accident

Last night

nebb - last night (prod. jody)

💙The Thoughts Never Go Away No Matter How Much We Close Our Eyes.💙
💙Produced By: @xxxkhail💙

[LYRICS]
Hello?
Eyes wide open with my eyes shut
Words i say they never mean much
I take drugs just so i feel love

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

Eyes wide open with my eyes shut
Words i say go in and out love
i know i could hurt my self
but it wouldnt get me no where
I need some help like..

Where did the time go when we was together
Where did the wine go when we was together

Eyes wide shut
Fuck my life
i don't want to see it im blind
Intrusive thoughts in my mind
its 20/20 of my life

Hello?

[ 6HOST @6hosttown ]
i tried knocking you werent home
my baby left me hit the road
if you can’t tell me no one knows
but you stopped talking stuck on hold

that’s so classic you would stall
if you’re not listening i won’t call
so thanks for that you’re such a doll
i was 6 feet deep you were 5 feet tall

who’s my favorite little mess,
inside smoking cigarettes
cries black make up on her dress
she won’t make it far i bet

My Eyes Wide Shut ft. 6HOST (prod by. khail)

IMA HIT THE E WOOD TIL I PASS OUT! #FUCKGOOFIES

VENGEANCE FEAT. 93FEETOFSMOKE & FATS'E [PROD. VAGUE003]

yeah i need it when i tell you 
yeah i need it when i tell you
yeah i need it when i tell you
tell you 

what the fuck phone broke on the pavement
dub my woes left those in the basement
break my fall when calls turn evasive
friend or foe can't tell feeling jaded

think im wasted
face my flaws
last call for the facelift
fan favorite
cool tattoo did it hurt?
r u famous?

WHAT THA FUCK
PHONE BROKE ON THA PAVEMENT
DUB MY WOES
LEFT THOSE IN THA BASEMENT
BREAK MY FALL
WHEN CALLS TURN EVASIVE
FRIEND OR FOE
CAN'T TELL FEELING JADED
x2

ya i need it when i tell u
ya i need it when i tell u
ya i need it when i tell u

think im wasted
face my flaws
last call for the facelift
fan favorite
cool tattoo did it hurt?
r u famous?

Buy on iTunes

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

something fit for summer
support harvest: https://soundcloud.com/harvest
samples an old Caesura song I love ‘Say Hello’

free download

kms & harvest - clover field

[+] i don't want whatever i want.
* prod by @raspobeats *

IG: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TW: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: discord.gg/VRcvcdf
LYRICS:

[verse: 1]
woah, we was watchin' Coraline,
smoking on some gas that had me borderline,
borderline, dead
i think i feel more alive, when
i'm with you
say that you feelin me too
i got the baddest, the baddest of two
i feel the weight in my chest when you move
baby i'm yours i got nothing to lose, no

[chorus:]
and we goin' fall apart everytime
look up at the stars in the sky
i'm still wishin you were mine, babe
i just wanna get you high, ay

[bridge:]
cigarillo smoke in my whip
i got the baddest lil bitch
she tug my heart strings
but she tug my heart strings

[verse: 2]
baby i can tell you what you want to hear
grabbin' on my pants,
then we outta here, outta here, ay
like god damn, you so fine
make you cum ten times
but then you won't leave my,
place, and thats okay
we just getting high baby
life seem straight
for a couple of kids on the benches
tell me the truth lil girl i feel the tension

[verse: 3]
baby girl i can tell that you had it,
left me here so god damn tragically
i see through your bones and
through your teeth
she think i'm a legend, i'm a G
muh fuckin' see
jay, keep her on leash, ay
but only when we fuckin.

Upload 08.07.2019

vivivivi