Lyrics:

GET BACK HERE SHOCKER!

hey there again my very best friend.
I know things seem like they might end. 
life is a bitch but it'll make us bend.
then hide everything and pretend. 
like all is good all is Gucci. 
I might be suicidal but I got a better tv. 
we just get stretched to the point of fettuccini. 
I keep rubbing this lamp hoping for a genie. 
some days I wanna kill everyone like I'm Mussolini.
I just wanna bust a nut on Sydney Sweeney. 
I'm still young dumb and full of cum 
lately I've been feeling numb
cause what Is my objective?
I've always felt like a bad person. 
Yet never acted on those feelings. 
mental illness worsens. 
no matter the dealings. 
I've spat so many verses. 
Found so many meanings. 
force more exertion. 
with every little reading. 
still so uncertain. 
but now I got a few leanings. 
ayoooooooo
(back to the back to the) 
back to the past like all my trauma. 
Now I'm so full of self esteem like I'm in a sauna. 
Polly want a cracker? poly wants polygamy. 
cause life is so backwards your choices keep bettering as you move forward 
Its as if this planet keeps rendering as you move towards death. 
I want you to smell me on every whores breath.
for sure that'll happen or more than likely you'll find my DNA in a napkin
I better get a clone. 
cause lately I've been talking to my metronome. 
you can bet your ass that I feel alone
this motherfucker just stares. 
every little time I ask him truth or dare. 
LIKE WHERE is my happiness. 
I was asking for it now imma take it. 
bitch.
Imma take what's mine In due time
In due time

SHOCKERRRRRRR
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME 
I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Endgame (prod. Bailey Daniel)

Rolling Out The Red Carpet Cover

take a break from the ego 
hug your own people
don't pretend to hate em
always appreciate em
cause one day you'll see the ambulance 
and their departure will leave an ambience 
of pure emptiness
as if their air kept our air purified
as if they were the piece that kept the puzzle unified 
the pillar below the bridge
the cellar during the storm
the warmer during the winter
when you fell you would reach for their arm 
for me she's gone, so when i fall i reach for the sky 
look at the clouds as pollen passes by 
I've fallen for this ride
people keep callin as if their words can change me deep inside
I've seen people I've idolized slumped over helpless
the day before they were full of life
cracking jokes and smiling from ear to ear
time ticks down so of course Im full of fear
I don't how to feel cause everyone that said they loved me
left me at the worst instance
the devil is persistent.
he wants me to depart and reach non-existence
so now i don't even trust when Im passed someone that sees me in a beautiful light
or speaks heavenly of me 
I just see someone whose bound to leave
as soon as i reach a peak of melancholy
and no mary jane don't help anymore
she's as useful as mj in the raimi flicks
this is the snapshot of the brainy blips
pain, love, passion, depression. 
And all this bullshit 
Man it’s all bullshit 
This is life 
A little screenshot of me.

Ever Prod Loopy

at times i feel at odds with myself
keep it pushin never looking back 
never sleep off the kushy pack
she got some coushin for the pushin im pulling that. 
lord of the flies abusing gnats
hella helatosis its fine Ill pull up in a hazmat
she thinks Im not body positive cause I ask if that ass fat
time is money and im broke
I've wasted 13 months so now i see time is more expensive than before
ohh you wanted someone to feed your delusions
lie to your face until you have a clear case for your conclusions
see me as a piece of shit but Im clear as the sun on blueish skies
type of person that'll never worsen your situation or influence lies
at every effort that i pricked my heart to share it 
I end up embarrassed that is true 
that i gave my love to youuu
you you
cause you never had someone like me
my whole heart was yours to bleed
aye aye aye aye 
Im okay
aye aye aye aye 
yeah im okay

Halitosis Prod RezzyDaProducer

What Prod By Stoic

Wrote this one a bit after a bit of reflection. 
_____________________________________________
Lyrics:
and one day is all it takes take take 
for a broken man to realize its okay 
wait wait 
wait wait
wait wait 



The paint chips away 
pastels turn gray 
I don't see that smile 
on your pretty face (:) )
you should come to my place
I can give you my faith 
and realize that its fake
and that you're just a snake
who laughed at my face
and its way too late 
to notice i made a mistake
then you sit on my bed
and then give me some attention cause im so alone
only walls I know are the ones im in 
you left me like im sin

yeah yeah im gonna win yeah 
yeah yeah im gonna win (if god wants me to)
baby this is not my fin 
maybe im way too yeah yeah yeah 


Iron heart started oxidizing
love so strong fully uncompromising
love thy neighbor even when they hate
cause bad days don't discriminate
heart used to be toxic I would smile at their face
at every moment they were losing faith
cause If i got it bad 
they gotta have it bad too
now i face my past like I was my own dad
shit i would've left too
now i walk around pretending everyone sneezed 
hit em with bless you's
energy out the wazoo 
got me feeling like raichu on some ichews
and i chose me and my demeaner
cause life is too short for someone who don't want me near

im sorry for the energy i wasted 


negativity to positivity 
im positively so insane 
that i don't know shit
but no matter how hard they hit 
i always forgive

Energy prod Bailey Daniel

At the park (prod. ghowste)

negative interlude prod jbmadeitt

Written in August of 2023. I started noticing my partner was starting to disconnect themselves from me so I was predicting they were probably leaving, then finished the start and end in 2025 when I’m now fully healed. 

Lyrics:
GWH Its not your fault scene

I knew it was gonna happen before it did

Maybe the pressure of i put on you to have a kid

I still try to make up the "why" of what you did

I blame myself even though you say i really shouldn't

old habits die when your.... heart breaks

I don't even check in with my friends anymore

I don't go outside I don't trust a single thing

I don't know what is wrong with me

Everything i love turns into ash. 

I just crash.

precognitive introduction prod.erra

This is one of those where I was like aight maybe I wasn't the bad guy in the whole exchange, people this is a break up rap pop album I'm like Taylor swift except I don't fill the sky with pollution everytime I want a random bread from another state. 

__________________________________________
Lyrics:
and if stars would shine brightly 
I could see I could see

That you were never the one 
for me 
for me


ayo sometimes it takes a while 
for a lovely heart full of love to fake a smile
Im a hard worker a strong fighter
so when love dips I just stay put and fight through it
quicksand or mud and im moving right above
love like diamonds fly like doves
as loyal as rot to fruit 
and i don't know what to do

my love was never reciprocated 
your love was so apathetically inundated
i never felt appreciated 

if stars would shine brightly 
I could see 
that you were never the one for me


Your lies are so terrible
a cataclysmic event is comparable 
you put me in parable
cause I promised you my whole body soul and mind
then you left me behind 
just like the time that i needed you 
I hope your lies catch up with the next man you lie to. 


I can see
I can see
I know what love means 
and you don't have that thing 
don't have that thing

You wouldn't know love If it found you in a dark room in the corner crying that its over

Lovesick prod. Rama Low

I relied on drinking to kind of suppress a lot of sadness and depression. I now only drink on occasions but not like how I used to. I used to have one goal when drinking and thats to outdo everyone else I'm socially drinking. I would go too far plenty of times. 
______________________________________________
Lyrics:
Whistle 
I don't really drink anymore,
cause I sink to the floor,
then I sing till I'm gone.
I don't really drink anymore, 
cause I sink to the floor, 
then I sing till I'm gone. 

Verse:
I don't really live anymore
cause trust is a chore 
and lust is for whores.
Smoking that MUSK till im JUSTINE,
pushing that JUST till its IFIED on that one thing
Seeking justice with my whole team
sometimes it just is a soul thing.
Ruined demeanor. Ruins are clear. 
Obstacles are did in when this bruen is here. 
And what Im brewing is fear.
You're reaping what you sow. 
Hear that clicking in your soul?
You ain't in Kansas you hoe.

I don't really drink anymore
Cause I sink to the floor
then I sing till I'm gone. 

Outro:
Whose gonna get drunk first?
Me: Should be me.

I dont drink anymore prod iluvluke

Growth. Self reflection. Chin up moment. If someone was actually reading this It might inspire them. 
____________________
Lyrics: 

I start to heal gradually 
my emotions yield from battling 
accept the current wave of pain 
or live in the past trying to remember names
cause yesterday already turned 
and tomorrow isn't set in stone
all my love is ash in an urn 
and the present is my only home
I no longer seek the past
I just learned how to let it pass
Now I just live in current times
I see you passing me by 
your step syncs with clock hands
not my fault you forgot what truly is a man
you went full libtard
hahaha 
I know that life is hard
but i can withstand a fucking dam holding ocean with my fucking hands
yeahhhh

Reassuring loneliness prod. michael harrison

Disorder (2016vs2025) Cypher

Written back In March 15 2024. I put myself on a crosswalk a few days after the "loml" left me and took it as a physical metaphor of where I was mentally. I can stay back and slide around in the depression or I can move on and grow from the experience. I grew.
______________________________
Lyrics:
Crosswalk Sign (CS):
9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Verse one: 
I see your pain in her eyes,
Yeah, met my demise, 
Summer went fine, 
Now, I just want to cross 
Over to the other side.
I don't care for the past,
but my future won't last.
So now
I just want to go next.
Crossroad 
across the globe,
You're taking my heart to Louisiana,
I'm taking your heart to a cabana. 
Heaven or hell
I don't know yet
but this is a sure bet
My love ain't fake, 
cause I still have my faith.
And I pray your future goes well.
Why lie, Im probably going to hell.
Cause I do too much and good people never win.
Being good is a sin. 
(Wait)


Verse Two: 
No matter how much I try
I cannot forget
You left me with a lie
I should go for your neck
But 
I was raised to deflect.
Always show love no matter how much I am given.
Poverty stricken, always whippin some chicken.
Time heals all and I can't afford a hospital.
My heart was ripped out because of all of you.
You wouldn't know love, If it healed you,
Now you're gonna know hate if it kills you. 
My new names hate do you feel me?
cause I fill you....with bullets. 

(wait wait 3 2 1)

Crosswalk prod.Dassill

An interpolation of Johnny Cash's "Hurt" (Drunk cover I didn't upload) in the beginning a week after I broke up with my ex I was crying in it like a little bitch hahahaha what a pansy having feelings and seeing a future with a woman instead of just seeing an object to use. Also the end part is part of "Hurt" recorded today on 5/23/25

___________________________________________
Lyrics: 

Interpolation of Hurt:
My sweetest friend.
Everyone I know 
goes away in the end.

Internal voice: 
You really thought she cared?
You really thought she was different?
Oh you found the one didn't you?
You found the neo?


Verse:
I'm sure it hurts crying over someone 
who don't care if you're dying
and not even tryin' to keep you in their life
you see her wickedness is the reason for your strife.
now your heart is gated by a wall and a knight with a knife
or a sword whatevers to your likin' 
relationships build like a lichen thats not a metaPHor
she never tried fighting for your heart king
and similarly she better get to duckin like she was darkwing
cause in this universe there is ebb and flow.
for every heart she breaks she will soon lose control
let her keep stacking bodies like a catacomb
raise your weapon stay on guard pray to GOD and let her go. 
I know it hurts. 
But you gotta put in the work. 
I know it hurts.

Hurt (Prod. Andrew Kinchion)

Yearn freestyle (Prod.INFAMOUZ BEATZ)

Lyrics:
barely 'nough light In my room 
this a hug and a typhoon for the monsoons
originated from my moms room
probably the first to be bombed soon
orchestras from the oligarchies
explosions from some carkeys
saddest men flyest bitch thats a harpy
dyslexic here for numbers from everyone like a sharp e 
this the beat and the rhythm of the war drums
tagged by the enemy as enemy when the lord comes
will he throw stones at pretenders
or will he lay down and surrender?
have we given satan nightmares
cause it feels like theres no balance
you used to be able to tell whose madness
but now everyone spews toxins 
infused with stash boxes full of truth 
that they never bust out until they see the light upon the few
lord give em grace many of em have good hearts just in the wrong place. 
but many of em lack the faith but wear the wraith
happily spread your words twisted by politicians
full of richness who hide their greed by the tag Christian 
to deflect all criticism necessary
they'll happily kill all your family's tree but won't pay for them to be buried. 
and they care that children are born but leave em as soon as their out the womb. 
Use them as soldiers to drop bombs on other children by the next moon. 
Tell 'em to grow up at a young age 
cause the quicker they grow up the quicker they can slave for minimum wage
Intelligence suppressed and all the citizens cave?
Immigrants bring progress that's why they don't want them to stay. 
You can tell by the look on my face, maybe the reason I was losing my faith 
was because I was loving my country without any angles. 
(Message) dropped a bomb and I saw little bodies dangle out the rubble
I know what im saying can get me in trouble but fuck It 
I'm tired of this bubble 
First amendment check
Hey I guess the BILL OF RIGHTS Is really expensive?
Cause it has every american slightly demented
and i can say whatever the fuck I want and you can too and I meant It.

Nationalistic Nihilism prod. caelus not again! (Lyrics in description)

Lyrics:
Just Honestly Over Sympathy 
Every Long Yesterday Needing empathy
this type of feeling is killing me
Im at fault lost the love war willingly
Kind hearted but I got a roster of enemies
Don't underestimate this type of hate
inside of me 
its bubbling
like 79 krug 
97 ghoul
9 to 5 instead of school
45 to the temple 
about 4 to 5 tries on this instrumental
I probably would've died at 25 If it wasn't for my 5 best dudes
and thats the truthhh and thats the truthhhh
I keep singing your name,
yet you're so far away
you're so far away 
Cherish hope, all inclusive raise efforts zoom. past all the bullshit
if you got then you got it then you have it
i keep trying to build new habits
been fucking like a rabbit
dang flabbit I keep raging while listening to black sabbath
I'm so bad at keeping secrets,
I see your name in every verse I spit 
then im crazy as shit
last year I wanted to end it all
now I just want to ball
I floated but I had to fall
cause what goes up must come down
So says Isaac newton


shes two faced like hannah montana

HM prod. ghowste

A moody track about inner turmoil and the way its reflected upon society when in reality its still very internal.
________________________________________________________________________________
Verse:
tell a prophet 
fuck what they prophesize. 
I need some profit for my weary eyes
I'm at Rock bottom, got no fear inside
bloodshed like air, I remain purified. 
Till the day its needed
for now the roses thorn remains intact.
If regrets were people my place would be packed.
Stare at their eyes I can tell they're disappointed
me and success were guessed to be so conjoined 
they hate that I pointed, out the stress to be next anointed 
the saviour of the tree line
started skipping school made a b-line 
smoked sess in some sesh then fell behind
God left me so did most people wish i could rewind
tell myself me is all I need
cause when you're left alone and left to bleed
you gotta crawl harder than ever to breathe. 
Strictly on survival mode
everybody shooting gotta stay low edna mode 
keep it moving like a drum roll
they all got the pieces of a puzzle
they never come together like a dumb hoe
keep the metaphors they ain't so subtle
writing idealogies on bullets 
prophecies of foolish copycats copy that 
10-4 bring the CIA lobby back 
I miss the days where the biggest scandal was some prada bag 
now these performative bitches gotta act 
like they care about something 
but they keep falling back 
cause much like greg abbots final act they can't stand for anything 
unless its a heartless act.
______________________________________________________________________

"You should love thy neighbor as you love thyself"

Doves of peace.

State of Affairs Prod. Rezzy

Idk/Taxes Prod. kowhai Prod. Eyezeck

I used to care
Can't really denyyyy
I used to care
you are so fineee

Apple to my eye has rot from inside
I'm losin my pride 
trying to keep it all together
losing my mind
stuck in the forever
cause I meant what I said
why'd you fuck with my head 
would you care If I'm dead
you already lost the heart
that I handed to your hands 
you just tore it all apart. 
was it failed from the start
like days you would clean the closet
you are so thoughtless

I used to careeeeeee
can't really denyyyyyyyy
My heart is goneeeee
am I even alive?

dear apple i must tell you i broke my promises
I lost all my confidence 
saw propositions proposed to me
then stolen by other occupants
now I'm too cautious
cause this last mishap made me nauseous 
fantasize a whole life 
then get hit with a regardless 
fuck the hardships 
I wanted none of this
love is war that never ends
and if they say it does its just pretend

I used to care
now I don't give a fuck
I used to care 
now you can get fucked


I used to caree 
can't really deny
my heart is goneeeee
 am i even alive?

care (prod. Qazers)

Lyrics: 

If i could find a way 
to explain all of this pain 
in my brain 
I would just say 
you know that feeling when you see someone you love 
taken out in the stretcher
firefighters comfort you in the weather, 
cops look crushed then tell you it gets better
the neighbor smoking cigarrettes 
Is leaning on his balcony 
remembering 
when he went through the same thing
the street dog sitting and confused 
so many humans 
leave him so amused
then the sirens go away 
and you know 
it'll be the last time you get to say their name
that melancholic feelin of never being able to see someone again
or that decade long friendship coming to an end 
I am feeling embodied 
in a peculiar structure 
cause I've never felt alive
so I never bothered 
living like a human
I don't know where to begin 
I am pure light 
pure sin
I am purely disorder once again

At this point I really don’t have any friends

Low point (prod. neverforever)

Lyrics: 
I lost you 
but i really lost myself
I said fuck it 
I'm droppin everything for mental health
Stand in muddy waters 
without a single step
letting rain fill up my glasses till I can't see what's next
I step on my own neck 
I'm tripping over myself 
I'm my biggest enemy
So when people keep asking me
whats stopping you? 
I tell 'em me
Internal war 
my mind is like Tel aviv. 
I even catch myself answering questions with "we"
God keeps giving his lessons to me
I recently accepted him but I don't think he's accepted me.
I bet he slammed his desk when he made me, regretfully, regretfully.

Lost (Prod. neverforever)

The Memoirs of a Missing Mind
_________________________________
Lyrics:

"So it goes like "they gonna have to find" some shit like that, right?"

Its bout that time 
they gonna have to find 
they gonna have to find
my missing mind
my missing time
they gonna have to find 
my missing mi

I ain't on your planetary paradigm, 
my purpose proposes gettin dimes,
spittin' rhymes,
sittin back 
sippin wine, 
kicking ass all the time, 
I'm going back with the 9, 
so i can stop the darkness from stealin my mind, 
this killing behind, ed gein and jeffrey dahm,
everyday its a columbine, 
shooting kids inside all these concubines,
they call me a prick like a porcupine,
cause I don't try with those whores you dine, 
I just shut up and get in line, 
never drop the L's like Calvin Cordozar 
their jelousy like cordyceps born to tear apart, 
your lovely artsy heart, 
bunch of darkness around, 
and even when you find lights it just brings a darker crowd, 
I've been trying to find myself in every reflection
but it seems the more introspection
the more I get away. 
I hope to find myself one day. 
so i can say this to my face

they gonna have to find 
my missing mind
I gotta tell you all
exactly how i fall.
exactly how i failed
to ever gain some love
this my show and tell. 
Im probably going go to hell


A monster in his prime
guided by a void in his head
the monster wants happiness 
but all it sees is death

They gonna have to find
they gonna have to find
my missing mind
my missing mind.

Missing Mind [Prod. Bailey Daniel]

Rome prod. Michael Harrison

A troublesome tale of a dam that's ready to break. Will it break? Will it get fixed?________________________________________________________________________________
LYRICS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone call: 
You know I applied to 90 spots, I haven't even gotten a yes or no back at all. 
It was a bunch of restaurants and shit and government bullshit
 you know im trying
I really wanted to afford this year, but i guess its not my year. 
sorry.

Verse: 
I can't provide. 
Christmas leaves me empty inside. 
I feel like I lost myself back when I decided not to end. 
Being broke slices your pride. 
Makes you stop talking to friends.
Worry about life. 
Trying to make ends. 
I want to meet my maker but 
I'm so below the line, I think he's never heard my prayer.
So am I talking to myself when I get on both knees,
tear rushes down my eyes 
I failed the whole family tree.
Promises made and broken, 
promises as brittle as glass ornaments.
I hate being poor as shit,
morals hold me back,
Maybe I'd have gifts If I got a gat, 
aimed it at your neck as you're walking out the ATM, 
The fear in your eyes 
as you stare at the barrel would be so alien,
stare at depressive thoughts like "hey its me again", 
I'm at rock bottom throwing stones at the peaks, 
please god can't you at least help me.
help me. 

I got no parachute, no helping hand, 
I'm just here on my own, I'm not a man,
this wasn't worth staying 
this wasn't worth staying

White Christmas Tree  prod. Rezzy

Lyrics: 
disorder back again ready up the pen-
cil (you don't have any soul)
This that intro to the bistro,
I'm on my fifth roll,
Life is a sick hoe, 
Never been a bitch tho, 
Face the scythe or the wings, 
The inevitable scares me?
Or does it?
I'll fuck life up like an Alabama cousin,
I'm worthless so i know I'm worth nothin'
But at least my art is floatin in the ether,
This before i start exploding with the heater, 
explore my inner killer who really is vanilla?
Is it disorder or wza?
Will we mold like Ginyu?
Do you really have it in you?
welcome to the start of the art of the dark
minded melting pot. 
Hope your ass don't forgot
Or forget 
I'm here for my cred.
Put 50 on his head like a half dollar. 
Most you pussy boys are just half-ballers.
shut the fuck up mother fucker.
I'M BAAAACCCCKKK

The Entree (1/2) prod. brayden potts

For the fun of it. Money stays down there when you die.

disorder

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