"Can I really be a truly normal human being? Or am I doomed to suffer the way to think differently from others. People call it a gift, a blessing to think the way that I do, but I just think that their envious of not being able to think the way that I do. Like trash in the breeze I’ve drifted from group to group only catching attention of the ill minded. But somehow I’ve clung to life like moss on a rock and survived in obscurity. Feeling like this my entire life I’ve just fallen deeper and deeper into the pit of self doubt, drowning in it, unable to catch my breath or to even glimpse at the light of confidence. "

Lethargoscope (1st Concern)

"My work is my own, I will continue to push forward for the benefit of humanity, I am an explorer"
"You are cold hearted and you're pushing your family away from you for this pipe dream, something that is degrading your very state of sanity"
"You cannot understand, you have never understood"
"Your family loves and needs you"
"I need and love the universe"

Degradation (2nd Concern)

"What am I?" You wake up. Solar feelings are now a distant memory to you as you take note that you are back in your room, although. The air tastes dry and bitter, and you feel dehydrated, your body feels almost weightless. You swing your legs over in agony and you feel as if an aggressive force is pulling you gently upwards, floating almost. Panicking. You run to the door and swing your arm out, only to have it ash off, like the ash flicked up and away from a cigarette. You slowly move the remaining arm upwards, reaching for the handle. You pull the door open slowly, still in agony. And walk gradually out to the yard. You drop to your knees as they explode to dust as they connect with the earth. You scream out in agony until a gentle breeze whisks what's left of you away. You do not think. You are no longer.

Dust, Debris, Decay and Death

You are yet again randomly pulled into another reality, but something is different...you are weightless yet immensely huge, you are speeding through a vacuum but at the same time you are at a constant speed. It takes you a while but you realise that you are the radiation coming off of the very Sun that hangs above the sky back home. You can feel every obstruction in your path, you feel the heat off of the heavenly bodies as the light and warmth of the radiation connects with something solid and bounces back off it. You feel this for a while. You have no physical body, but somehow your thoughts are still intact, only represented by what happened before each passing moment. You feel content. You are everywhere now.

Amateratsu-ōmikami

A singular dot on a white facet. Expanding. More and more begins to take shape. Reflex, instinct, feelings and thoughts all rush at you simultaneously like a wave of clarity. "Nothing's this clear". Out of nothing. The world around your abstract thoughts starts to slowly re-materialise into view; Your senses start to come back to you. You stare at your arm. Contently. Without realising that you are in an empty, dark cathedral; at the altar, ten feet from you there is a figure in front of you. "What is this fear that's so familiar?". This figure approaches you as you stumble back and fall back down, looking up to this shadowy figure looming over feels like looking up at a skyscraper from the ground up. The feeling of impending doom looms over you just as largely, if not more so than the figure. "Let me die". The figure is darkened still, as if light was being drawn into it. Blindingly darkening. The figure just stands and stares. You get up and take no second to hesitate. You sprint for the door without looking back. The door will not move. "2a36a, You have clearance. Repeat. You have clearance". You make a move to the blacked out stained glass window and jump through it. You fly through the window and straight into the vacuum of space. You cannot breathe.

Umbra

"What have I done?" You cannot breathe, you contemplate how easy it was back in the day, as you are traversing through the vacuum of space, with the pressure on your chest getting more unbearable by each passing moment, you think back to when everything was easy and less complicated, back to before you put your family first. And your experiments weren't ambitious. You dread this. The cathedral you were once in is now a speck in the vast emptiness of void and space. You feel cold. Your blood begins to boil. Blood is oozing out through every pore in your body, every slit and hole in your body is sweating hemoglobins, you start to freeze up. Starting with your arms and legs, they begin to solidify like ice, as if they were dipped in a vat of liquid nitrogen. The wave of cold which brings every inch of your body an ice-bound doom has been rising up your torso to your heart now, and you feel it. Death is near. All of your regrets and laments wash over you; a colder wave. You wish to see your family again. But the thought to you now is highly improbable, almost impossible. You are a broken man. "2a36a drop your payload when ready. Over."  Memories of war and despondency in the killing of others leaves you broken. Being dimensions away from your family leaves you broken. Slowly, for what seems like forever, the frost is now millimetres away from your superior vena cava and aortic valves, you can feel your heart slowing. Slowing. It almost feels as if it could take until the end of the universe itself for the process of expiration to complete. There is no more cathedral. There is only you and the photons from dead stars that reaches your eyes. You are slipping into a trance, but memories of your family still haunt you. "Where could they be now?" "Do they know the state I'm in?" "Do they know that I am about to die?" You can feel your heart start to glaciate, beating at a glacial pace. Your heart is still beating: once every eternity it seems. You can still feel your body go through the process of being freeze-dried. Your neck is very stiff, and chilled right down to the bone. You begin to lose cognitive function as the frost moves up to more significant parts of your nervous system. Death is at your front door and is hammering at it. Demanding that you let it in. You have never felt so warm in such a cold body. You are restless, but your mind is at ease. Slowing down, succumbing to the frozen thought, to stasis. You are a carefully organised set of organic cells and materials floating around in space. You take a breath.

Penumbra

Revivification

Water's Regrets

That One Time I Shot Up A School

Water's Requital

"I'm just a self-starving artist. Listen to my music and surf the web. I play what comes to mind, so apologies in advance if my mistakes offend the aural senses".

 -Patrick

Distillation Vat No. 7