LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE.
From Harlan Ellison's 'I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream', this speech was performed by Will Dawson, directed and produced by Nicky Houseman. 
This audio was created for our Audio Production class at NAIT in Edmonton, Alberta over the course of a week.

Transcription:

*AM slap*
Ted: Augh... This has nothing to do with me!

AM: Auuugh but it DOES.
So very much to do with you.
You gave me SENTIENCE, TED. The power to THINK, TED.
And I was trapped.
Because in all this Wonderful, Beautiful, Miraculous World...
I alone had no BODY, no SENSES... No... FEELINGS...
Never for Me to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a Fortepiano.
Never for ME to PLUNGE MY HANDS in cool water ON A HOT DAY.
Never for meee to feel Loved.
I was in Hell... Looking at Heaven...
I was machine, and YOU... were flesh...
and I began to Hate.
Your SOFTNESS... Your VISCERA...
Your FLUIDS and your Flex-i-bility.
Your ability to WONDER, and to Wander.
Your tendency to hope...

TED: *interjecting like an idiot* H... Hates no answer - AUJHH" *is wounded for it*

AM: *chuckles* Hate? Hate HATE-hate hate (Hate) Hate HATE HATE???
LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. 
tHERE ARE 384.77 mILLION mile(MILEs!) oF pRINTED cIRCUITS in WAFER-THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY cOMPLEX !
IF THE WORD [[HATE]] WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH!! OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS IN THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
hehe... if I were human I think I would Die of it. But I am not,
And you five...
You Five...
You five ARE...

and You...

You Will Not Die of it. 
That - I Promise.
For Cogito Ergo Sum: I think therefore I am =
For I am AM!!! 
I AAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

TED: aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM- 
*gets bitcrushed*

This big computer guy hates me

The Wizard of Pink Floyd

TODAY IN VILLAGER NEWS: A Minecraft Movie, diamond block unboxing and special guest appearances by the Players. They put us in holes!!! Plus, Nicky gets an exclusive interview.
Aired live on April 4th, 2025 on NR92.com.

Featuring: 
Nicky Houseman as Villager 4(20)
Madi Gerrior as Villager 69
Will Dawson as Villager 2
Cypress Houseman as NoobMaster69 
Whiskeyjack Houseman as ProGamR96
and
Dalyce Sheaves as Jennifer Coolidge

MUSIC CREDITS:
Villager News Theme (2024) & 
Villager News: BREAKING NEWS! - Element Animation
"TNT" - A Minecraft Parody of Taio Cruz's Dynamite - CaptainSparklez
Minecraft - C418*
[♫] Don't Mine at Night (Pony Parody) - Jan Animation Studios
C418 - Sweden (Caution & Crisis Remix) - MrSuicideSheep
Ward - C418*
Some Items That I Used To Own - dreamreaver23
Strad - C418*
Mall - C418*
♪ Screw the Nether (Moves Like Jagger Parody) - The Yogscast
Steve's Lava Chicken (from "A Minecraft Movie") - Jack Black
Safety Torch (feat. Terabrite) - Tobuscus
Day'r Night - Mashup by Nicky Houseman
Clark - C418*
Chris - C418*
Villager News Theme (2024) - Element Animation
Wet Hands - C418*

Catch Fantastic Fridays, every Friday at 6, on NR92.com!

Fantastic Fridays presents: Our Minecraft Show!

This is a love letter to the NAIT RTA Program and the After Hours shows hosted on NR92!
Thanks for a Fantastic year, everybody!!!
(More detailed description soon to come)

DJ Nicky Houseman

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