By Morning

By Morning (ft. The Fragile Corpse)

Control Me

I've always wanted a way to just disappear from everything. Just zap out of existence (My therapist says it's a normal thing to think about, I'm okay).

[Verse 1]
I’m a shadow that never could stay,
A name unspoken, a life in decay.
Disappear into the void, no one cares,
No weight, no trace, no vacant stares.
Set my path aflame, no pain when I fade,
Ashes fall where my footsteps were laid.
No roots to bind, no soil to turn,
Only the fire and the will to burn.

[Pre-Chorus]
When I’m gone, don’t let it weigh on anyone,
Just close the book before the story’s begun.

[Verse 2]
I’ve bled through cracks where the world forgets,
Paid my dues in unspoken debts.
No crown, no throne, no hollow praise,
Only the silence of empty days.
I planned my end when I turned thirty-five,
But was tricked and left here to survive.
My existence has brought me nothing but pain,
And all I want is to burn away.
When I’m gone, don’t let it weigh on anyone,
Let my name drift like I was never there.
The bridges I’ve built will drown in flame,
No map, no path, nothing remains.

[Chorus]
Disappear into the void, no one cares,
No flowers, no tears, no vacant stares.
Set my path aflame, no pain when I fade,
Wipe my name from every place I’ve stayed.
Let the smoke rise where the daylight dies,
No tomb, no stone, no alibis.
Burn it all down ‘til the trail is gone,
And the world keeps moving, carrying on.

[Bridge 1]
Grind the roads I walked to dust and glass,
Scatter my shadow, let the moment pass.
No shrine, no mark, no mourners in line,
Only the heat and the loss of time.
Tear down the stars, make the heavens blind,
So even the dark won’t know where to find.
Every step I take is the last I’ll own,
A kingdom burned to the naked bone.

[Bridge 2]
If I go, I’ll go without a sound,
No ripples left on the water’s crown.
Set my path aflame, no pain when I fade,
No one should feel the space I’ve made.
Wash the trail before the rain can fall,
Let nothing stand, let nothing call.
When I’m gone, don’t let it weigh on anyone,
Let my name drift like I was never there.

[Chorus]
Disappear into the void, no one cares,
No flowers, no tears, no vacant stares.
Set my path aflame, no pain when I fade,
Wipe my name from every place I’ve stayed.
Let the smoke rise where the daylight dies,
No tomb, no stone, no alibis.
Burn it all down ‘til the trail is gone,
And the world keeps moving, carrying on.

[Outro]
No crown, no throne, no trace, no sound,
Just the fire where I was found.
Then nothing left, no burden to bear,
Only the void, and no one there.

Let me fade!

...so no one remembers my name.

Erased (Finale)

I just wrote... and the song came to be like this. IDK. Enjoy? Also, can we for a minute applaud Jack on another vocal feat? GOD he is so talented. 

Lyrics:

I don't want to go, but I want it to end.
My life's so liquid, it refuses to bend
Let me smile, just this last... time
Stuck in this moment, lost in the past.
The world spins fast, but I'm standing still
No expectations, no lasting thrill
My heart fights for me to be pure 
But I'm still a sin, fighting to endure

When the world is on fire
Where do I belong? 

Maybe one day I'll see my self there
But to lose me is, something I can't bare
I'm trying to pull myself out of this grave
But my joy feels false, so fucking depraved
I want happiness, like everyone else
Who do I tell, where do I yell? 
No one wants to here my complaints
Can't think of a soul, who loves this pain

When the world is on fire... 
Where do I belong? 

I don't want it to be this way. 
But what more can I do or say? 
All I wanted was to feel complete
Here I stand as a broken piece
Put me together, start with my soul
Devil wants me, needs me to pay the toll
Even hell is struggling to stay afloat
Imagine, the devil being this broke

When the world is on fire... 
Where does my pain belong? 

Who do I sacrifice? 
How do I die? 
Why do I breathe? 
What do I need? 
Where do I fucking belong? 

[Guitar Solo]

I have no love left to give! 
I have no joy left on me! 
I only wanted to bring happiness! 
But the world is broken! 

So tell me... 
When the world is on fire... 
... Where do I belong? 

Where do I belong? 
Where do you belong? 
Where do we belong? 
Should we belong? 

Belong ft. Jack

I don't want to go, but I want it to end.
My life's so liquid, it refuses to bend
Let me smile, just this last... time
Stuck in this moment, lost in the past.
The world spins fast, but I'm standing still
No expectations, no lasting thrill
My heart fights for me to be pure 
But I'm still a sin, fighting to endure

When the world is on fire
Where do I belong? 

Maybe one day I'll see my self there
But to lose me is, something I can't bare
I'm trying to pull myself out of this grave
But my joy feels false, so fucking depraved
I want happiness, like everyone else
Who do I tell, where do I yell? 
No one wants to here my complaints
Can't think of a soul, who loves this pain

When the world is on fire... 
Where do I belong? 

I don't want it to be this way. 
But what more can I do or say? 
All I wanted was to feel complete
Here I stand as a broken piece
Put me together, start with my soul
Devil wants me, needs me to pay the toll
Even hell is struggling to stay afloat
Imagine, the devil being this broke

When the world is on fire... 
Where does my pain belong? 

Who do I sacrifice? 
How do I die? 
Why do I breathe? 
What do I need? 
Where do I fucking belong? 

I have no love left to give! 
I have no joy left on me! 
I only wanted to bring happiness! 
But the world is broken! 

So tell me... 
When the world is on fire... 
... Where do I belong? 

Where do I belong? 
Where do you belong? 
Where do we belong? 
Should we belong? 

Belong Part 2 ft. Jack

[Verse 1]
Your voice still sleeps in the corners of this room
Fading like the sun in the late afternoon
I reach for a hand that’s not coming back
Still feel your shadow pressing in the cracks
And I hate that I still find comfort in the pain
Like a song I can’t forget, playing in the rain

[Chorus]
You broke me, but I’m breaking more alone
Silence feels heavier than the storms we owned
I thought freedom would open up the air
But it’s cold and you’re not there
I’m drifting in the calm I wanted so bad
God, I miss the chaos we had

[Verse 2]
Your eyes were oceans that pulled me too deep
And I let myself drown just to hear you speak
Every lie was a light I still followed through
Even knowing it would burn, I’d come back to you
And now the walls hum with the ghost of your breath
Every night’s just a quieter death

[Chorus]
You broke me, but I’m breaking more alone
Silence feels heavier than the storms we owned
I thought freedom would open up the air
But it’s cold and you’re not there
I’m drifting in the calm I wanted so bad
God, I miss the chaos we had

[Bridge]
If you called, I would run through the dark again
Even knowing where the road would end
Better your fire than this frozen sky
Better your arms than saying goodbye

[Chorus]
You broke me, but I’m breaking more alone
Silence feels heavier than the storms we owned
I thought freedom would open up the air
But it’s cold and you’re not there
I’m drifting in the calm I wanted so bad
God, I miss the chaos we had

[Outro]
Your voice still sleeps in the corners of this room
Fading like the sun in the late afternoon

I Miss The Chaos

[Verse 1 – Rap]
Crack in the mirror, sugar cube grin, chewing on echoes of voices within. Bit the handle of a door that won’t spin; thoughts chase tails like a cycle of sin. Dial tone lullabies, static in bloom; baptized myself in a feedback tomb. Paranoia stitched to the edge of my skin; I blink in Morse when the lights begin. I said “God is a vending machine,” but the snacks had teeth and the soda was mean. My shadow tap dances in chalk outlines, etches my name in melting spines. Eyeballs roll like dice in the drain; house always wins when you're betting on pain. I scream in braille, I breathe in code, I spit out teeth like a barcode load. There's a choir of knives inside my throat, singing regrets in a minor note. Every prayer’s a glitch in the feed; I chew on hope just to watch it bleed.

[Verse 2 – Rap]
I kissed the socket and swallowed light, now I hiccup volts in the middle of the night. My bones type essays in ultraviolet ink, and my skin forgets how to think. I heard the devil through a rotary phone; he coughed out secrets in a dial tone. My blood runs sideways, my tongue speaks ash, I laugh in static and puke in flash. I painted my name in a stranger’s scream, mailed my soul to a vending machine. Every tooth has a barcode etched; each blink rewinds what logic stretched. I built a throne out of unspoken dread, crowned it with pills and things I never said. My breath is Morse, my pulse is broke, I dream in patterns that smell like smoke.

[Chorus]
I can't stop the gnaw; it's chewing my skull
Brain on a leash, but the leash won't pull
No god, no calm, just static and curse
When the world goes mad, my brain eats me first
Tear at the wires, suck on the screen
I bleed in binary, I sleep in machine
Rip out my tongue, let the demons rehearse
When the world goes mad, my brain eats me first

[Verse 3 – Rap]
VCR dreams on repeat in my teeth; I spit out tapes that forgot how to speak. Duct tape halo, grin with a twitch; I iron my thoughts with a neural glitch. My head is a fridge full of static and meat; I chew on wires to feel complete. Confessions whispered in coffee foam; my mouth just echoes an old dial tone. I carved my thoughts on a microwave plate, nuked them twice, then served them to fate. I drown in clocks that scream like birds, and bleed in fonts that stutter words. I mailed my brain to an empty street; it came back scribbled in warped drum beats. I lost my name in a scream I bit; stitched it back with counterfeit wit.

[Bridge]
I tried to stitch the silence closed, but it laughed through every thread.
I fed my fears to mirrors and they starved me out instead.
My pulse rewinds when I speak too loud; my thoughts have teeth, they hiss and crowd.
Every calm is camouflage,  the storm just wore a softer sound.

[Breakdown]
Rip out my spine and braid it with lies!
Slam my head ‘til the static replies!
I licked the floor just to taste control,
But the floor bit back and swallowed me whole!
Claw through my ribs and eat what's left,
I’m the sermon, the scream, the knife, the theft!
No more metaphors, no more breath,
Just a twitching pulse that dreams of death!

[Chorus]
I can't stop the gnaw; it's chewing my skull
Brain on a leash, but the leash won't pull
No god, no calm, just static and curse
When the world goes mad, my brain eats me first
Tear at the wires, suck on the screen
I bleed in binary, I sleep in machine
Rip out my tongue, let the demons rehearse
When the world goes mad, my brain eats me first

[Outro]
I made a home in the noise
And the noise made a meal of me

My Brain Eats At Me ft. SaxFromJax

This took me so goddamn long to make. 9 months (I know, most people take years for tracks, but for my hyper-focused ADHD head, it took too long. This is the prelude to Event Horizon, and will be the cap to the album. The Album version is 12 minutes long. Sorry, not Sorry.

Event Horizon (Prelude)

LAUREN WITH THE VOCALSSSSSSS

[Verse 1]
I see him in the morning haze
Bedhead curls and sideways gaze
He hums along to records old
Like love is something he can hold

He speaks in dreams he doesn’t share
Leaves pieces of him everywhere
I swear he touched me in my sleep
Warm and brief, and mine to keep

[Pre-Chorus]
Maybe today, maybe tonight
He’ll knock on the door and make it right
I boil two cups just in case
His favorite mug still has its place

[Chorus]
Somewhere he’s waiting, I believe
On a corner, searching me
Maybe broke, maybe bruised
But truth won’t let this love be used
I’ll hold my breath until he’s near
Somewhere… he’s waiting here

[Verse 2]
The mirror doesn’t smile back now
His cologne still lingers somehow
I keep the porch light burning bright
In case his heart still knows this light

The inbox stays a silent void
A ringing phone that won’t deploy
And every face just twists the knife
Each stranger dressed in parts of life

[Chorus]
Somewhere he’s waiting, I believe
On a corner, searching me
Maybe broke, maybe bruised
But truth won’t let this love be used
I’ll hold my breath until he’s near
Somewhere… he’s waiting here

[Bridge]
Seasons blur, and months decay
I starve on hope, I burn with ache
They say to let go, say he’s not real
But wounds like this… refuse to heal

I see his walk in passing men
I hear his laugh and break again
Half of me knows he’s just a dream
But the other half won’t let me breathe

[Breakdown]
Where is he!?
Why won’t he see me!?
I’m cracking at the seams
Where!
The Fuck!
Is He!?

[Chorus]
Somewhere he’s waiting, I still swear
Maybe lost, or never there
Maybe I’m the fool who can’t let go
But love like this… still takes control
I’ll hold my breath until I drown
Somewhere…
He’s…
Waiting…
For me

[Outro]
Or maybe not…
But I’ll keep hoping…
Just in case…

Breathe Part 2 ft. Lauren [WIP]

I tried something different? Lot's of Lo-Fi, 2 dubmetal tracks. IDK bro. 

Control Me

REXIS

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