Name: Boozed Up Brits Abroad by dontdothistomemate
Duration: 7 min 7 s
Description: From the eclectic "Why Do We Even Bother?"

From the eclectic "Why Do We Even Bother?"

Boozed Up Brits Abroad

The Well Below the Valley - In the Valley of the Flowers

Good afternoon compadre. I am a band currently residing in London, England. I enjoyed badminton and a spot of lunch most days, and when I'm not shuttling the cock I also like to treat my members to a gig or two! My particular brand of music is a little awkward, but suffice to say that it's deadly serious. Now, a little story from my book of modern history for you if I may:

"Tycho Brahe decided that Icarus was far too impertinent to be allowed shallots for Christmas. So, brandishing his trusty rapier, Tycho brought down upon Icarus the full wrath and fury of a scented chop. Icarus was all but taken aback, and responded kindly with the words: “I shall service you with waxen feathers.” No sooner had these words been uttered than Mr. Brahe had a sudden bout of quadrophilia. He set about arranging his limbs into a perfect rectangular structure, and replied wholeheartedly to Icarus: “See me now in all my glory, as the four corners of my human body doth descend into one glorious oblong!” 

Several months later, when both men had fully recovered from their grand dispute, Michael Ironside left his Canadian home in search of a small lizard-boy, with whom he believed he had much in common. You see, it was not so long ago that a pet gibbon, owned by Mr. Ironside, did see to itself that it was impregnated by both a gecko and a raven. As is well known, raven and gibbon DNA in combination is one and the same as the DNA of humans, and so the gecko DNA integrated into this to form the sub-birth corpuscle of a tiny lizard-boy. 

Of course, Tycho and Icarus were unfavourable among the lizard folk, and so the child had journeyed to the humble candle-lit abode of Icarus to see if he could set things straight. Upon his arrival, he was privy to uncontrolled laughter, and the sweet, sleek sounds of a resonating moustache. “Drat!” thought the lizard-lad, “I have a ferverent dislike of all things Brahe!” And so with a scream of “Braaaaaiiihhhhnes!!”, before Michael Ironside could intervene, he charged through the paper-thin front door in Glasgow, and leapt upon Tycho, whereupon he proceeded to ingest a small piece of the real man’s upper nose. 

And that is why Tycho Brahe wears a small gold nose-piece on special occasions."

Boozed Up Brits Abroad

dontdothistomemate

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