2004-06-08-xmas_song.mp3

unedited recording from the middle of spring about 17 years ago. my way of practicing for well over a decade was doing a "set" in my basement of consecutive songs in which I tried to find a flow for hypothetical live performances and seeing what worked and didn't work if I was completely solo. this also gave me insight of what songs needed that extra layer or two or three when recording a dedicated demo for each song, basically I was trying to avoid the whole "he/they suck live" thing by figuring out both a "studio" version and a "live" version of the track(s).

2004-04-16_consecutive.wav

this is the baby of a song's first variation that was quickly moved on from and altered. 

when reviewing old stuff that maybe could've been explored better, sure enough, this one got a 2nd life 19 years later in my current recording stint. 

I guess it took that long for it to grow on me. 

2003-06-13_A Look Back...mp3

the final recording from my first 3 year surge in creativity as an adult, this was an older track already written almost 2 years prior with a "proper" version but I wanted a figurative "roll credits" moment because I was starting to become aware of the start of what would be my worst ever case of writers block and felt a more subdued version of a song which is about daily anxiety and moments in time just stopping was a great way to end the chapter for myself

lyrics

you're not gonna see it coming
but you'll already know that I'm there
and with a turn of your neck
we're stuck at the eye to eye

and I
die

for a split second I forgot
that I'm alive
I forgot that I'm alive


you said your name was Catherine
but I only heard that you're mine
and not I'm hesitating
with crazy thoughts all the time

am I asleep and dreaming?
cause this is too real for me, now

and I
die

for a split second I forgot
that I'm alive
I forgot that I'm alive


it's those 2 second glances
and no second chances
that make it so hard to bare
when I am so unprepared


and I

die

for a split second I forgot

that I'm alive

I forgot

that I'm alive

and I 
die
for a split second
I forgot
that I'm alive
I forgot that I'm alive



2005-12-16-nervous encounters on a day to day.mp3

I only visited bethany beach once but I had a great day walking around the town while listening to pet sounds on my mp3cd player, I was having such a great day that I got inspired to write an unofficial anthem for what I thought was a pretty cool town, first and only fully instrumental song that I've written

2003-01-07_the_quiet_resort.wav

coding for life

lyrics

my life's a balancing act
of how I am and how I act

I try to modify it
to make it easy to get by

something's gotta change

I'm in the 2nd act of
1 through 3 that is my life

I'm still afraid of dying
but I guess that's normal for my kind

something's gotta change

coding for life.mp3

i was absolutely being overdramatic and overemotional during a birthday in my early 20's in which i saw none of my friends that day and felt like i was all alone since everyone was too busy with their valentines day plans, so i wrote a song about moving away from everyone and everything i knew and living in a place that i had romanticized in my head as the answer to all of my problems. even though i knew absolutely no one in philadelphia and my only experiences there were either driving through it to get to delaware or seeing concerts in which i was almost always drunk, i was so certain that was the place for me, a great plan that couldn't possibly go wrong 


ode to philadelphia (living in a snowglobe, waiting to get out)
lyrics

secondhand attraction makes this all worthwhile
but i'm asking myself how i got it right
you were a ghost
and i brought you back to life

i'm asking how i won this fight

today i woke up in a very dusty place
mental images of you have been erased
it had to be done
for i could no longer go on

wait for the summer, then i'm gone

to philadelphia
i know this sounds too much
but i just lost my crutch
and some say all of my touch

philadelphia
i know this sounds too much
but i just lost my crutch
and some say all of my touch

[blended lyric outro] 

never gonna waste my time (waste my time)
all it does is make you cry (waste my time)
and we both know that is the one thing i came to see (waste my time with you)

never gonna waste your time (waste your time)
all i do is forgive lies (waste your time)
and since this is done all i want to do is get out (waste your time with me)

Ode To Philadelphia (Living In A Snowglobe, Waiting To Get Out)

2004-04-29-I Truly Feel All Alone.mp3

This was my first proper recording after writing songs for a little under 4 years. 

I was 10000% afraid to sing on "tape" and the recording "program" that I used was the default WAV recorder in Windows XP, I didn't know how to increase the recording time longer than 60 seconds so I wrote this specifically to work within those time parameters. 

This song remained dormant until 13 months later when it was renamed & reworked into "12-13" and it was turned into something a little better developed. 

This snippet is very special to me as it was a proof of concept that gave me the confidence to actually start recording demos. 

Happy 20 years "I Will See You This Christmas (no more)", I'm eternally grateful to have seen this through. 

2002-11-15-I Will See You This Christmas(no more).mp3

This was the culmination of a 6 week recording session that took place over the course of 3/4 weekend hangs with my buddy Steve. I had wanted to get back to being creative and start with expanding on something from my past, we listened to about 10 demos that were recorded between 2002-2017 and he choose the song "A Look Back" which I eventually renamed "One Year Later".  We then got to work on what I had envisioned in my head for the overall sound from an ethereal keys sound and a 90's grunge type of guitar in the intro ala Pearl Jam's "Black" that sounded like it was coming from a phone or really tinny speaker.  From there the bones of the song were unchanged from when I finished One Year Later but production tweaks of handclaps and helping me get to a more dynamic bassline. He contributed, encouraged, inspired, and was nothing but an awesome friend for putting up with my incessant need to perfect what I thought I wanted to hear, like the proper echo of a handlclap lol.  One year later from One Year Later A Look Back and I am back on the creative wheel and now have a dedicated acoustic & electric guitar as well as an iPad to record any new ideas, thanks Steve.

2022-03-25-One Year Later A Look Back

Production, Keys, & Drums: Steven Stenavage

@dotbeepdoot