I've always heard Henry Rollins's poem I Know You mashed up with Nine Inch Nails's song A Warm Place, so when I decided to cover one, I realized I had to cover the other as well.

I got it in my head to transcribe the song myself, to put together my own minimal interpretation, a distorted melody, made fragile by heavy tremolo and thunderclaps. 

Not that I could hold a candle to Rollins’s deep rich voice, but I loved his piece so much I had to give it a go. This is a cover of a remix of a poem. I can’t think of a deeper niche than that, but it’s the universal themes that make it so endearing. Enjoy!

I Know/You A Warm Place Henry Rollins/NIN Cover

The voice I used in this recording is a sad attempt at a posh accent, if anyone asks I’ll say, “Oh, that? That’s just a typical midwestern dialect, it is no way a piss poor attempt at replicating the tone of Benedict Cumberbatch’s Star Trek: Into Darkness monologue.”

I chose flute sounds for the musical accompaniment because, like bubble pipes, they’re wood wind instruments. I used distorted hip-hop beats to add some weight to my thin premise, a little badassery to go with my B.S.

As for the poem itself, it’s one of those things I had to get out of my system. I wrote it when I was 22. I still think it’s funny, and as it’s turned out, I still have a lot to say about the subject. My original artist description for this poem became a companion piece, called 11th Hour Valentines, if you liked this, then you’ll love that. Check it out.

Bubble Pipe

I could do it your way
Wait for her boyfriend to hit the John
Then slide into his seat
In a strategic game of musical chairs
I could put Nina Simone on the juke box
Amble around the room
Looking for the first girl that says
"I love Nina Simone"
I could cast the role of wing man
Yo talk about how we hopped that train
About our extensive work with Green Peace
About that village in Africa
I could send anonymous drinks
"Care of that man tipping his hat"
I could wait on the porch with a zippo
Offering a light to any girl that crossed my path

Or I could do it my way
Reach into my breast pocket
Withdraw my plastic pipe
And slowly start blowing on it
Making my presence known
As far as my bubbles can float
Because any chump can order a girl a shot
But it takes a real man to smoke a bubble pipe
It takes the kind of man
That doesn't hide behind a wad of bills
Doesn't hide behind the keys to his Mercedes
It takes the confidence to just pucker up and blow
When my future children ask my wife
How she knew it was love at first sight
She'll shrug, smile, and say
"Well, he had this bubble pipe"

Bubble Pipe

Ever have that dream where you stumble into the middle of a black mass with nothing to sacrifice? Ever crash a red ritual with nothing but casserole? Ever realize you’ve entered a black robe and hood affair when it’s too late to go home and change? That’s dream logic for you, never sure whether it’s more important if you feel afraid or embarrassed.

In the dream, cultists chant incantations with midwestern accents. Beneath their masquerade masks, they might just be your friends and neighbors. Perhaps that’s the little league coach drawing a propane pentagram, and the leader of the Boy Scout troop setting it aflame. Perhaps that’s the head of the PTA, drawing a dagger from her sleeve. 

Your subconscious got tired of high school settings, of locker rooms and hallways, it wanted try it’s hand at a new landscape.

This is a story about what happens when your subconscious forgets its plotting a nightmare only to resort to the oldest dream cliché in the book. Come for a scare. Stay for a punchline.

The Ritual

When our technology is installed in our ocular cavities how will handle a moment without it?


Human Error

The Wolfman realizes he isn't the only thing on the prowl tonight in this cheeky slice of Halloween flash fiction.

The Hunting Of The Wolfman

Pennywise the dancing clown has turned a generation off of clowning. What would happen if the clowns of America International sued him for misrepresentation?

Pennywise The Clown

What happens when Dracula's blood work comes back? The Hospital calls in the CDC.

Dracula Gets A Checkup

What happens when Frankenstein's creation wants to know where his parts had been?

Frankenstein's Monster Inquires About His Donors

When Nosferatu stows away on cruise he turns it into a floating buffet.

Nosferatu Goes On A Cruise

What if Pinhead and the cenobites from Hellraiser came every time someone solved a Rubik's Cube?

Pinhead Finds The Rubik's Cube

Freddy Krueger takes on his greatest enemy: the clichés that fill our dreams.

Freddy Krueger Has That Dream Again

Two detectives investigate the aftermath of  the monster mash after it's been crashed by Cthulhu.

Cthulhu Crashes The Monster Mash

Welcome to the inaugural episode of my Podcast: Drew Chial’s Black Noise, where I premiere short stories in the spirit of the Twilight Zone. Unlike my previous audio shorts I plan on prefacing these recordings with informal thoughts on my writing process. 

This first episode is largely unstructured. I’ve yet to develop any bits beyond the reading and an artist statement. So I winged it. Maybe next time I’ll have a checklist.

Feel free to share your ideas for future episodes in the comments.

Black Noise Podcast Episode 1 - Red Flags

I write lost Twilight Zone episodes and give advice on writing.

Drew Chial

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