“Lately, I’ve been finding everything very noisy. Everything seemingly invading my personal space at all times. So many images and videos and sounds and smells and products and people and more products and more people. All vying for my attention. I guess it could be that I’m getting older and all of these things don’t mean as much to me anymore so in turn, they’ve become bothersome. Everything feels sped up as well… Too many images and videos and sounds and smells and products flying at me as quickly as the days and months and years fly past me. I guess it could be that I’m getting older and the things and the times are outpacing me with a spirit I once had. Maybe. But I don’t think that’s it… For as grand and progressive and magnificent and innovative all of these things seem to be at the moment, they have this overarching feel of grey. Like grey static. A noisy dullness. At the same time, the thoughts in my mind seem to burn bright and violently like hot neon. I’m not sure if they’re good thoughts. I just know that they’re definitely violent. Maddening, in a way. Thoughts of what the things could be instead of what they are now. Idealism turned to frantic frustration.”

FIGMENT OF MY HALLUCINATION

DROP — WHY ARE WE THE WAY THAT WE ARE

“The first man entered the chambers.
Dressed in white silk garments, with a silk scarf draped over his head that fell down along his sides. He had kind features, with eyes glazed over a pale grey. He approached the centre of the hall cautiously. A pillar of harsh white light beaming down from above, directly to the sandy ground in front of him. The chambers were vast, illuminated by the pillar. While the ground seemed to be self-illuminating,  the chamber walls and ceiling disappeared into the depths of darkness all around.
‘I have walked a narrow path,’ he said confidently as he stepped into the haze of the pillar, ‘And have followed the teachings past down to me. I took up a life of obedience, and have spent my years passing the teachings down to those who will arrive after me.’
‘We have observed this to be true,’ they replied. The sound of their speech echoing through the chambers at different intervals.
‘Please, if you will,’ said the man humbly, ‘Have I done well?’
‘Without a shadow of a doubt,’ they replied, ‘Now come, follow us.’
A large smile spread across the man’s wrinkled face as he fell to his knees. Tears streamed down the sides of his cheeks as he was consumed by the light.

Next, a woman entered the chamber.
Much younger than the man before him, dressed in blue velvet. Her hair flowed down to her lower back and glistened in the light, a long shall wrapped around the bottom of her face and draped down past her knees. Her eyes were sharp, focused. She, too, approached the centre of the chambers, where the pillar of light had narrowed at the top to form a softened spotlight.
‘I have experienced everything this world has offered me,’ she said from within the hazy aura, ‘I lived with true understanding of my success and failures. And in turn, I left with no regrets. I embraced myself, in everything that I was.’
‘And you have learned many things because of this,’ the voice replied, once again echoing through the space. Only this time, the scattered voices sounded in various pitches, harmonizing with one another.
‘Tell me then,’ she responded, ‘Have I done well?’
‘More than you could perceive,’ they replied, ‘Now come, follow us.’
She nodded graciously and closed her eyes. And was consumed by the light.

A third entered the chambers.
Another man dressed in silk with and a scarf covering his head. Except in all black. He also had kind features similar to the man in white. Only his eyes burned an electric blue. As he approached, the light changed once more. This time, the source from above split into thinner beams all across the chambers in perfect symmetry. Countless in number, they still seemed to focus on the same spot the pillar and spotlight had before.
‘I have taken up a heavy-laden life,’ he said, gazing up at the many beams scattered across the abyss above him, ‘And have struck down your enemies. Those who crossed my path and chose to deny you. I brought forth your wrath and denied them your blessings.’
‘Your resilience is not lost on us,’ they replied. Their voices cascading from the many light sources and surrounding the man in black, as a village crowd would circle their hero returning from war.
‘Have I done well?’ he responded.
‘Undeniably,’ they replied, ‘Now come, follow us.’
After pounding his chest three times and raising a signed salute to sky, he was consumed by the light.

Finally, a fourth person entered the chambers.
Another man. This one had no clothing, with nothing to cover his head or face. He was the youngest of the lot, with a healthy physique and thick hair. Only his eyes were worn and bloodshot. He did not approach the light for the light had disappeared. The man stood in complete darkness.
‘I understand the reason for being now,’ he said, ‘The reason I was there and the reason I am here. The reason for my pales eyes, and blue robes, and black scarf. And the reason I no longer have those things with me. I have become what I had unknowingly been all long. And I have finally done well.’”

DROP — METAMORPHISM

“As this ceremony draws to a close, I’d like for us to all join hands and raise them to the field above. And give thanks to That Which Unifies Us. The eternal connection that can never be severed, as long as we remember it. And draw close to it. For the adage goes: this war is a spiritual war, the mind the battlefield, and our soul the prize. It cannot be taken without being given. And it cannot be given when we keep it for each other. While we may never know the reason for the war, we have learned the tactics exploited against us. Not to employ them in return, but to understand. And with that, we give thanks once again and continue on forever.”

DROP — REDS & MORE REDS

“Fear is one of the greatest falsehoods. It has nothing to do with survival instinct or intelligence. It is a tool used to commodify our insecurities. But once we accept ourselves and each other, the falsehood dissipates. Once we realize that death isn’t final, we will be free. We will be left alone, left with everything. And within that prospect is where my hope resides.”

SOMETHING BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS

A YOUTH WELL WASTED

“It was difficult at first, definitely. But it’s been getting easier and easier. The hardest part at first was answering the questions. And then once I found the answers, the hardest part was coming to terms with them. Everything else after that became very straight-forward. The answers were all the same. All my responsibility. All of the why this and why that were because of me. I did it to myself. I made it this way. And I’ve accepted my fate. So whatever comes next will also be from my own doing. And at least this time around, I’m well aware.”

THE ONLY WAY

“‘Stop talking about death, goddammit. That’s all I’ve been hearing you talk about lately. ‘When will I die? What’s gonna happen after I die? What if I die tomorrow?’ And the worst one of all — ‘What if I’m already dead?’ On and on, death this and death that. Tell me, please. Why do you keep talking about it.’
‘Law of attraction.’
‘Huh? What does that have to do with this?’
‘Maybe the more that I talk about it, the faster it’ll come. You know. Law of attraction.’
‘I don’t think it works like that…’
‘I guess we’ll find out.’
‘God damn… is this why you’re always alone?’
‘Probably.’
‘Hm. Maybe you're already dead after all.’”

DANCE WHEN WE'RE DEAD

“It’s all just a fantasy. It’s all fun and games. We like to play pretend. Because if it was real, it wouldn’t be the same. It could never live up to the mirage. So we keep it a fantasy. We know it’s better this way.”

SCI FI FANTASY

“We were born from the age of industrialization. We grew through the age of information. And now, we fight through the age of delusion. As reality becomes more and more difficult to decipher, we find ourselves questioning all of life’s things. Events, beliefs, morals, and existence itself. Asking ourselves, ‘What is real anymore?’ And I believe we are on the brink of a new age. An age of disassociation. Answering our questions of reality with another question, ‘Why does it matter if it’s real?’ Soon after that, we will all bear witness to the age of apathy. The last age for us. When our response will be, ‘It doesn’t matter.’”

IN THE MORNING

“Don’t move on so fast. Go about your life and do what you need to do, of course. By all means. But remember that your strength isn’t shown by how far you can push all of the things away. Or how quickly you can run away from them. It’s shown by how close you can hold them. How much a part of you that you can make them. Until you realize that these things were always with you from the beginning. Some things die when you neglect them, but these things are different. These things are part of your life, woven into your experience. So don’t skip over them. Don’t move on so fast.”

A GHOST THE OTHERS CAN'T SEE

“Do you really think you can just leave me like this? Push me into some corner in the deep recesses of your mind? After everything I’ve done for you when you were alone. When you had no one. When you were slowly dying. It was just you and me, staring into the black sky. You think the better version of yourself that you’re striving to be is one where I don’t exist? No, my friend. I am here forever. I am your sickness and you are my cure. We are one. We grow together. Never forget, the brighter the light, the darker the shadow.”

BURNING OUR SHADOWS

“I remember the hordes of people flooding into the streets. All panic-stricken, gripping onto each other violently. Others crowded on rusty apartment balconies and others pressed up against tall, sleek office building windows. I remember all of them wailing. All of them staring to the heavens with a wide-eyed craze I had never seen before. I remember hearing rapid mumbling of biblical scriptures and mantras from all around me, pierced occasionally with sharp bursts of curses from afar. I remember following the three missiles as they soared gracefully across the pink sky, slowly descending towards the setting sun. And as I watched the crowd grow larger and more manic, I remember asking myself, ‘Who would do such a thing to us?’ And right before the flash of light that blinded us all, I remember answering myself, ‘Maybe we did it to ourselves.’”

BEFORE THE END

DROP

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