Dumb, Wistful

I started this out as an ex girlfriend song but then I changed it to the perspective of god. Go figure. Let me know if you want the lyrics.

Gift of God

Cosmic Life

Spend my time writing songs
Recording ideas to sing along
I have no idea when this will pay off
I just know I have to get it all

When I can
Before I sink
Down into this
Fiery deep
Where the mania reigns
And bad man go up in flames

Spend my time fucking around
Motivation is nowhere to be found
I lose my mind once again
This one goes out to all my friends

When I can 
Before I sink
Into the icy
Pool of drink
Where the depression reigns
And good men start to go insane

Mania, Depression

I can't make my mind up
I want to settle
But I'm better at fucking it all up
I take your bottle take your shot and take your line
In exchange for the promise that it numbs my mind

I want to stop but the progress still hurts
And I like stumbling aloof
Even though it takes longer
I'm not a lover not a fighter
Just a brother I'm the fiend
In exchange for the promise my mind is gone for my ending

I don't want my life to end
On someone else's terms
I'm just trying to make the journey
Feel less like a curse

I take a bigger stride
But god takes my legs
The mobility is fine
But I take exception to the pain

I've made my mind up
Suicide should be a pact
Your mother makes at birth
And because of that I laugh
The threat of being a parent has made it apparent
The panic that erupts when life seems copasetic

The classic threat of love and loss
Seems like familial ties to the time that we've lost
Over thinking underdrinking
Under Snorting Overreaching
These are all just habits that I've come to cope with and feed on

I don't want my life to end
On someone else's terms
I'm just trying to make the journey
Feel less like a curse

I take a bigger stride
But god takes my legs
The mobility is fine
But I take exception to the pain

I don't want my life to end
On someone else's terms
I'm just trying to make the journey
Feel less like a curse

I take a bigger stride
But god takes my legs
The mobility is fine
But I think god wants my head next

Ramblin'

Backing vocals: Rob from Dirty Little Birdy

Somebody tell me I'm crazy
I'm not having fun anymore
Some kind of weekend habit gone out of control
Hourly struggle to stay in control
Of my soul

Wonder and curiosity have deserted me
Replaced with
Trying to veer away from the brink of being
Complacent

Will it be another corporate dollar
Or an artistic panhandled dime
I can either go crazy in these walls
Or suffer the threat of dying in the streets every night

Wonder and curiosity have deserted me
Replaced with
Trying to veer away from the brink of being
Complacent

I want to sleep on the sidewalk of the bright midnight
Grow weary of the cold
Somehow I'll learn to appreciate life

In a coffin I'm silent
In a field I'm bold and proud
These decisions render me drunk in a crowd
Anxiously trying not to drown

Bright Midnight

Yeah, I know it's clipping like a mf

They took my mind away
It’s for my own good they say
Robbed me of my gifts
While they promised some big getaway

They promised all the greatest delights
While I lost the ability to fight
And now when day turns to night
I am reminded of this crime

I can only do basic time
With sloppy slant rhymes
I’m not rhythmically inclined
I sniff my way through this maze of white lines

They took my mind away
And the rhymes get lazier 
I fell to my knees
Since it’s become easier

It’s time to wrack my brain
For something that isn’t hackneyed
Simplicity still feeds me
And I refuse to change

They took my mind away
While they cut off my hands
I just wanted to play
To escape all the reprimands

Mind, Away

There isn’t any justice in grace
But I become more bored
With each breath I take
They say they love me more if I continue
To hide my true face
They neglect to tell me they’ll take it by force
Who else will confess
The next time their life is on the line
Living large in this farce
This liquor tastes like brine
Bury me in my prime
Over a decade ago
When the need for human connection
Hopped out this spiraling window
Fuck prayer and chants
I got the works
It comes with a hook, shout, chorus, and a verse
I loved to scream, just like me
It came first
But I play with the strings until
This girl is hoarse
I never know the time but I can recount the years
As all the nights coalesce sunk into my beer
Live fast eat ass drink pabst
Stay lit
Sobriety doesn’t have time for me
Decided I’m done with it

Who else can I burn
And how many more bridges do I build
Until i travel around the world
Steps away from my guilt
I won’t call everyone up individually
But I promise not to call again until you miss me

Ass, Pabst

Petty Song Volume II

Gonna be a secret of the underground
My name doesn't have letters just sounds
An act of night, I'm drunk and wet
Out into the rain I step
 
Betty and Stella are always around
Other girls take their place before they are found
Dusty dirty in a closet where
I keep trinkets of my childhood
 
I'm just biding my time
Born without reason, I write my own rhyme
With nothing but my father's name
My scars make up my fame
 
I just do what I want
My ego is nothing but a fault
I don't pretend to be good
Your definition of bad is skewed and wrong
You'll rue the day you met me
Sick reminder of society
How it fails to nurture the strong and just strokes its oppressed

Underground Secret (rough mix)

A birthday present to the mother of my child with all the love I have for her...also this was written three years ago and I feel bad just now releasing it but whatever, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA!!!

LYRICS:
I'm a sparrow with oil stains
Me llamo DRUNK MONEY and I embody pain
I wanted to see the world
That became all about you girl
So solipsistic
But now suffering just ain't for me

Our love unfurled
We had all the time girl
We took the fast pass
To lifelong commitment
You gave me a girl
My lovely baby doll
My poppy seed
I am here for you and me

Hand in hand we
Bind in secrecy
Holds we share shall
Sign our fate to we

Now hand in hand
We quickly plan
The future of our partnership
So many dreams, you are perfect for me
Our little family
My lovely ladies
This is the dream hand in hand
Forward Into uncertainty

Hand in hand we
Bind in secrecy
Holds we share shall
Sign our fate to we

Hand in hand we
Bind in secrecy
Holds we share shall
Sign our fate to we

I never expected this
But the love from your kiss
Is truly bliss
We cannot be apart
Apart for much longer
The further I fall

Baby girl I need you
My little mama too
I was so afraid
But now I can't explain my heartache when you're away

I really miss you
I long to be with you
I truly love you
We will always make it

This is a love song to profess
This is a declaration, an ode to our success
We are one together
Forever together, death is not our end

Hand In Hand

So here is my freshman attempt at self recording and engineering on an original track and I'm very nervous but whatever.

No Honey, No Money (acoustic pre demo version)

I'm not super fond of the lyrics anymore but it's fun to sing.

The Petty Song

Suburban Gutters

Petty Song

You Look Like I Need A Drink

Hey there friend
Show me true entropy
A thousand cells all blinking into my way
And I'll tell you of all the minds all thinking alike and differently
Broken mirrors represent shards of identity
My own insecurity blown out of the way
When I ask for silent order
I demand a carefully structured schedule for the day

Once again friend
Give me proof of effigy of a lad once led astray
The sad truths we keep
The secrets we weep about
On midnights alone and surrounded middle of the day
Wistful meaning holds sanction and you Don't ever get a say
All represented by the coward whipped for theft of bread for his family

Old friend, ode to thee
I permit you to write my eulogy
I've not long, I lost my mind in ego, since you are my property
A pox upon those who oppose your prose
The poet of my life's ending
I admit that I had to quit
I can't submit to the death of me
With the threat of my soul, free of the chain of my husk
Forever fly into eternity
With the unknown on my face
I pray to the end of my ache

Old friend
You have all the answers
I only have questions and time
May we talk in the afterlife
In a cafe of my own design
At sunset, over wine

Old Friend

this got weird and experimental really fast. don't listen to me whining about girls anymore, listen to me whining about existential crises!

Drunk Money

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