producer: D-Sisive
lyrics: D-Sisive & Stu Stone

mixed: DJ Lethal
recorded by someone in Los Angeles.
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I met Stu Stone at an EMI Music Publishing party, early 2000's. EMI President, Michael McCarty introduced us thinking we shared the same personality and would click as friends. He was right. We shared a love for wrestling, comedy and music. Our romance was instant. My love turned to groupie when I found out he was the voice of Chuckie in My Pet Monster. My brain exploded when I realized he played Ronald Fisher in Donnie Darko. He went back to LA, where he lived, which made me sad, but we stayed in touch.

One afternoon I received a phone call from Stu about a project he was working on with Jamie Kennedy. I was a huge fucking fan of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. I was down no matter what it was, but when I found out what it was...WHAT?

"A rap song with Bob Saget. We want you to produce and co-write with us. We're shooting a video for it. It's going to be featured in an MTV show we're developing called Blowing Up." Wait. Did he just fucking say BOB SAGET? Everything went slow motion. I didn't believe him, and didn't until I spoke with Jamie on the phone.

I wasn't much of a hands on producer in the sense of pushing the buttons - still ain't - but EMI bought me an MPC2000 to figure out. I turned on the machine and put something together. It wasn't great. I used the snare from Eminem's Haile's song. Intro'd it with the opening from NWA's Straight Outta Compton. I was no Premier. I put my headphones on and wrote a two verse song from a first-person Saget perspective. Bob was hardcore. Not giving a fuck. This was before Entourage, or any of that shit. Stu told me I could get as rugged as I wanted. In those verses were "the illest motherfucker in a cardigan sweater" and "I got a cock like a donkey, hard as a rock|and a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox." This was years before The BOOK, so my skills were...well, yeah.

I sent the lyrics and a demo to Stu. A month later I received a copy of the song. Only a few of my lines were used. Stu and Jamie re-wrote it from their perspective, which fit perfectly with their show. Hearing Saget rap my donkey-cock line became the highlight of my life. The show came out and the video was released. Cameos from George Lucas, John Stamos and Terry Crews blew my fucking brain.

Today, only two things bother me about the song. One, I wish I made a better beat. That's all I was capable of then. And two, in my version of the song, I had Saget quoting Jay Z from 99 Problems. A police officer pulls him over and he says "Cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low?" I would have passed out hearing Bob Saget say those words. Other than that, I'm proud this is a part of my legacy, even though most of you don't know about involvement. During Saget's roast, they edited a montage of his work to this song. I teared up watching it. A beautiful moment. I'd love to work with those guys again.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B_n9YaAMmg
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twitter|instagram: @DerekChristoff
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Bob Saget:Jamie Kennedy:Stu Stone | Rollin' With Saget

The basement. 1997. Alone in a room. Looping open instrumental parts with a dual cassette player. Recording verses on a tape recorder. No microphone. You can hear the room. Verses written for yourself. No fans. No studio. No engineer. No interest. No manager. No booking agent. No strategy. No music journalists. No bloggers. No industry. No grants. Nothing to lose. Everything to prove. aboyinaroom.

The basement. 2015. Alone in a room. Ripping instrumentals off YouTube. Recording verses on Garage Band. USB microphone. Pantyhose stretched over a clothes hanger. You can hear the room. Verses written for yourself. A few fans. No studio. No engineer. No interest. No manager. No booking agent. No strategy. No music journalists. No bloggers. No industry. No grants. Nothing to lose. Everything to prove. aboyinaroom.

Follow D-Sisive:
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D-Sisive | Violent J

I made this in my bedroom.

Lyrics: D-Sisive
Instrumental: Pacewon|I Declare War

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Home is where my heart beats
Where my coat and my hat hang
Where the haters aim spit at your batwing
Cuz every hater is a rapper with a rap name
You will never hear of
But in their bedroom mirror
They see Kanye in their camo Foot Locker thermal spitting
Whatever diarrhea they had written
To whatever Chief Keef beat they had sitting on their PCs
Combine the two and get a feast of fucking feces
Between choruses sung with weak harmonizing
Through autotune, that sounds like a fax machine dialing
A fax machine played on 93.5, and…
This is the toilet where I swim
Home is filled with class clowns
Where Drake Graham says ‘mans’ and speaks Bakardi Slang now
Where we actually believe we’re on the map now
But the planet only wants to hear one of us rap now
I don’t care if DJ Trap from Idaho
Played your shitty Chief Keef dub on his college show
At 5 in the morning, when Idaho-ans eyes are closed, and…
Smiling and snoring, dreaming about their shite recordings
Your genetics aren’t designed to blow
Your genetics are designed to mop up Taco Bell’s dining floor
And dream of one day climbing up that high promotion
Putting cheese on beef till you retire, holmes
Home is where the buffalo roam
Rap about the Rolls Royce then take the bus alone, home
In old, torn Hulk|Mark Ruffalo clothes
Runnin’ tings…
But couldn’t book a Buffalo show
Call a sports bar and book a Buffalo show
Poster Walden Galleria letting Buffalo know
The king of Cheektowaga’s on Buffalo soil
Performing his hits while all of Buffalo’s home
Yell at the soundman cuz his muffled, dope quotes
Aren’t loud enough for the bored Buffalo ghosts
“Prices slashed at Lockport’s Gambino Ford
Free hot dogs for the kids!”
Home is where my heart beats
Where my hat and my coat hang
Where yesterday’s news ignore their toe tag
Spending their whole day remembering when
Stuck in 1997 when their 12inch was pressed
And won’t accept nobody wants to hear their record again
They’ll never be the center of attention again
I don’t mean to be mean or disrespectful to them
But it’s hard to be respectful when you’re better than them
And you get dissed like you’re the reason their relevance is dead
Grampa forgot to take today’s medicine again
A shattered lightbulb
A dim lit star
Melted ice cream
A 6” God

#aboyinaroom

D-Sisive | 6" God

buy my shit: https://slobopera.bandcamp.com
twitter|instagram|snapchat: @derekchristoff
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1. Gary [introduction]
2. Dogtooth
3. Fuck Richard Attenborough
4. Fuck Paul Molitor
5. Brad's Dad
6. Rupert Pupkin
7. Fuck Bobby McFerrin

D-Sisive | The Foolish Follies Of Fatty Arbuckle [august2016]

my name is D-Sisive.
this is where i post rap songs.

Bob Saget:Jamie Kennedy:Stu Stone | Rollin' With Saget

D-Sisive

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