F*ck Halloween

we're bewildered by the new but find routine to be too strange
everybody claims to hate themselves but no one wants to change
so we all become a story we've forgotten not to tell
we only have the heartbreak we invented for ourselves

do you think you'll have an ego when you're body's in the ground?
tell me who's got time to exercise with all these drugs around?
let's find holes to fill our souls with while we're ruining the shell
we only have the heartbreak we invented for ourselves

we detest the fake and hunger for a face to be sincere
watch us fill the nearest wall with self-shaped holes when they appear
just unknowable fools waiting for someone to know us well
we only have the heartbreak we invented for ourselves

you love someone as the shape of yourself that they incur
then you keep someone around as who you told them that you were
and to them you might seem stubborn, you're just in a prison cell
composed of all the heartbreak you invented for yourself
we only have the heartbreak we invented for ourselves

Unknowable Fools

Call Me Out

when you feel the world's spell
pulling you to live well
save it for a rainy day
don't look for a pretty face
save it for the cold nights
save it for the down time
meditate and exercise
make a plan for eating right 
treasure all the warm nights
treasure all the hard fights
thank the ones you learned to love
take a breath and learn to be alone

spending such a long while
on our dating profiles
when we get there they can tell
how we feel about ourselves
suddenly it gets old
playing all the same roles
thank the ones you learned to love
take a bow and learn to be alone

one you loved and still miss
one you shared your life with
one you loved but never kissed
hoping for a night of bliss
looking for the right eyes
looking for a good time
you won't find it in their bed
battle's only in your head
living such a strange way
marching to a strange pace
try to put our souls at peace
subject to our bodies' needs
trapped in each our own hell
living as our old selves
thank the ones you learned to love
take a breath and learn to be alone

Learn To Be Alone

find me in the middle of a beautiful pause
leave me in the wreckage of the person I was
make me a reflection or a ghost of all you wanted me to be
the problem being conscious is the waiting around
makes you think you're waiting for the minute you're found
by somebody in it for you most of all and causes all this grief

typical frown, waiting around
don't look to your lover look to all the space between
beautiful sound, waiting around
long as we've got eighty years, let's go and have a drink

so find me with your fingertips and none of the plan
leave me in a ruin in the palm of your hand
shake me with the movement of your hips and all the parts I haven't seen
the problem being conscious is this physical form
needing kinds of holding more than keeping you warm
by somebody leading with their lips when in their heart they don't believe

letting you down, waiting around
don't look to your lover look to how they make you feel
beautiful sound, waiting around
only for a moment we were everything that's real
all that I know, letting you go
though we're all connected by the loneliness we feel

the problem being conscious is it's always the same
sick of everybody that remembers your name
holding you in the kind of esteem to which you're never living up
so find me in the midst of an impossible dream
leave me when it isn't everything that it seems
I might be despairing of the search, I swear I'm never giving up

talk of the town, waiting around
don't look to your lover look to how they make you feel
all that I know, letting you go
only for a moment we were everything that's real
beautiful sound, waiting around
long as we've got eighty years, let's go and have a drink

Waiting Around

stoke the fireside
keep your family nearby
have an existential crisis
when everyone is at their nicest

think about the year gone by
think about your whole life
think about your bad decisions
the endless worry and revisions

now think about the light
in all your near ones' eyes
hold me close and say you're mine
hey why not it's christmastime

this will be the year
not the next one, this one here
full of hopes and dreams so potent
joy and living in the moment

so leave the lights on all night
spike that eggnog just in time
let's get drunk and sentimental
let's get childish and parental

just save me from the light
of all my near ones' eyes
hold me close and say you're mine
hey why not it's christmastime

hey why not it's christmastime

perfect amount of nonsense

Tell Me Something

this will probably happen everytime I'm single
I'll get thoughtless with a bottle in my hand
and I'll send you something dumb stuck in my head or on my phone
an impossible conviction when I'm stubborn and alone
that despite the years and miles I know exactly where I stand
waiting till you're here so I remember who I am

when I'm sober I convince myself I hate you
then I'll take another whiskey bottle stand
on the intervening women how they laugh at all I say
the impression that I've given never giving me away
or what's worse the ones that never take me serious enough
waiting till you're here to roll your eyes and shut me up

and I always want to ask you how you're doing
but the music of your voice would make it worse
so I weep for other sounds as worth pursuing
but reconstitute myself with every verse

this will probably happen every time I'm single
but I'm more than just a whiskey bottle man
I'll be kind to all the lovers that I briefly lead astray
and be honest with the others that are dumb enough to stay
and I'll miss you every moment but be present when I can
waiting till you're here so I can live this life again
waiting till you're here so I remember who I am

Duncan Carson

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