lyrics
i really thought you loved me
is that something you just say?
it tore apart my insides
tore apart my brain
stare straight through the mirror
and swear that i have changed
i have realized im exactly the same
exactly the same, exactly the same
exactly the same, exactly the same
im sorry for all the times
you couldn't be yourself around me
and all of those forced smiles
to show the dimples in your cheeks
cause they would calm me down
cause they would make me happy
the worlds still spinning around 
whether youre with or without me
the worlds still spinning around 
whether youre with or without me
the worlds still spinning around 
whether youre with or without me

i wish i could knock the earth off its axis

recorded on my phone
this was your favorite song at the time lilly

that one song about a sweater (cover)

I know it won’t last
It’s all that I got
I trade my liver
For the lack of a thought
There’s no cohesion
Or story to tell
Just a bitter person
Going through hell
The empty bottles
In my room
Are a weighted reminder
That I can’t cope
The liquor I drink 
To blur the thoughts
And distract enough
To think there’s hope
I know it won’t last
It’s all that I got
I trade my liver 
For the lack of a thought
People can’t stand me
And that’s the truth
But they’ll never hate me
As much as I do

a bitter and ugly excuse for a person

guitar thingy i recorded while it was raining and i was thinking of you

untitled (no lyrics)

anger



You said you always love me
And that would never change
But I was always killing you 
the source of all your pain 
You painted my heart black 
And Now it’s permanently stained  
that’s why it fucking kills me
Everytime I hear your name

I fucking hate you but
I cant fucking blame you 
I fucking hate you but 
I can’t fucking blame you

I guess I was just a waste of time
I guess I’m someone you could leave behind
Are you happy with your new life
Does it kill you when I cross your mind
I hope that I do and it eats at you 
I hope you can’t eat and it keeps you from sleep
I hope you can’t bare the thought of me
I hope that my person is forever haunting

I fucking hate you but
I cant fucking blame you 
I fucking hate you but 
I can’t fucking blame you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you

i fucking hate you

bargaining



Something in me is driving me crazy
Something in me is rotting my brain 
I think you get off on seeing me lose it
I think you like that you make me insane

I understand I get real attached 
I understand sometimes you just can’t breathe
But if it’s between not being there always
Or just losing you completely 

I can handle and be fine with change
I’ll give you space to grow outside of my cage
I’ll be there for you through everything
I won’t be greedy cause I still feel the same

fine with change

depression


She left me broken
I’m not the person 
I was before
I don’t know how to
Fall in love anymore

Don’t fall for me 
I’m not the man that you need
You’ll struggle to leave
But learn to resent me

Are you rooting for me?
Cause It feels a lot like pity
Am I perceived 
As Someone whos lacking

A sense of purpose
Some sort of meaning
As a no one inside
Just Staring at their ceiling

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