A thousand doves flow down to peck me eyes out of the sea that stole the pearls behold the endless *dawn* a misty flawless blue enchanted orbes cracked glass *shatter* unleash my soul amdist the rapid winds and gushing waters

I'd rather die in a hole than face the mastermind who put this show into play. A funny face, a scorning scowel, at every angle you absorb and miscomunicate with yourself. 


The Great Dissonance

it's unsettling to make the strangest face when time deserves a better tale 
if your favorite gamble left a darker mark then the color might have faded slower 
breath is fading light is dimming.... 

dying

i found a garden and a tree that told me something new. the words it spoke were all concise and i could understand every word. just as these these thoughts and dreams were blowing up like angel dust exploding from a silver painted confetti monster, it took hold of my heart... u can't have it i said. 

break the chains painted calligraphy on my walls
a boiling chamber who cares if i'm not stepping in it
and i will catch up soon to where i would be tree... 
just give it some time 

a brilliant light shown down upon us- giving us the break of day. we called it a truce and the truth started to settle in. a corroded vine took the life of my new found friend, and then i mourned his death for years-i knew nothing but sadness. there is now a numb spot that can't be touched by mortal hands 

a seedling grows 
but a tree will give life to generations
parasites, death, and curses might catch you 
but give your heart and soul to your seed, and love him 
with all your heart
and know i will be there for days to come 

Tree

Sweety died and it broke me in two. I found an old picture of her that my sister took and gave to me. I am so sad, but this is just temporary and I will get through this. 

*not my picture
http://apofiss.deviantart.com/art/i-sit-here-178782799

Song for Mourning

These last few months have been really hard. I had to throw out my old bed because it smelt too much like my cat. During this mourning period I've been listening to music all the time. Bat for Lashes has been my mystical express to escape the emptiness that was left by my cat's death. Natasha said in an interview once that she used to spend her days listening to the songs she wrote and that it was almost spiritual. These past few years I've been adding music to my sound-cloud almost as an open journal for my subconsciousness. Each song has been made in one sitting during times of extreme grief and happiness. Even though I am not a successful musician and I can't play any instruments (with the atrophy in my hands) I am allowed to express my human voice... and occasional mess around with loops and stuff xD

I Am New When I Say I Am New

So we enter into a holy place. Where it all began-where you found your friend. If you turn your back then, it will shoot up like a tower. From the earth from it's mother, from the sky, from where it came it will return...it will return. 
Let me tell you something I've learned, it makes no difference what the person to your left, or the person to your right is doing. It doesn't matter anymore. 

JaDoMM