but are u a drainer O_O
~ original by @ecco2k_year0001 and @bladee1000
produced, mixed and mastered by me :)
__________________
one shot, click, click, click, reload, reload, reload
twenty thousand THB, make a call to Nino
western union, six, zero, zero, zero
i go easy mode, cheat code, cheat code, cheat code
drain dang, GTB, you know we go psycho
at the texaco gas station, talkin' on the phone
can't stay here, I've got to go, this feeling won't leave me alone
i stay off the road, incoming, watching through the scope

ice cream truck, cherry on top
gate on lock, i can't stop
mansion in the hills, blue pills
time stands still, open seven seals
this the VIP life
i mix that dirty with the sprite
black bottles with the ice
yeah, all the stars align
how am I still alive? GTB until I die

one shot, click, click, click, reload, reload, reload
twenty thousand THB, make a call to Nino
western union, six, zero, zero, zero
i go easy mode, cheat code, cheat code, cheat code
drain dang, GTB, you know we go psycho
at the texaco gas station, talkin' on the phone
can't stay here, I've got to go, this feeling won't leave me alone
i stay off the road, incoming, watching through the scope

western union

this song came from a really crazy and angry place, and it just felt right to have @starflye on it :)

produced, mixed, mastered by me
----------

get up at noon, and feel like shit 
why do my friends treat me like this, like this 
sick and tired of fueling the fire, i'm too sensitive to fight it 
fall asleep at 6 in the morning 
why don't i get any warning
give and take my happiness away but i guess it's not that important 

where did we go? most friends they grow 
why are you colder than you were before?
did i say things to ever bring 
you and me to the point of no return?

left out, dropped off, disposed 
it's how i'm feeling, i wish that i could keep it away
i shout, call out, am i supposed 
to feel omitted, i hate that we've been drifting 
away from each other, why do i shudder 
i may be overthinking, my mind gets so cluttered 
and i wanna fix it, i hope to be acquitted, 
and face the contradiction, i can't help but feel omitted from you

go straight to work, feeling bored, yeah 
outside i'm alright, but in the inside i'm torn
can't keep putting effort into fake friends anymore 
so what's a bunch of strings of code and underscores? 
(but i'm sorry if i set you off)
i guess it's my fault in the end yeah
cause i give my all, while all these fuckers play pretend 
if i fucked up, i swear it's not what i intended 
cause i can't get apprehended if you keep your mouth 

shut from my home, i crash, time goes
in my mind, i just can't seem to forget 
did i say things to ever bring 
you and me to a place we both regret?

left out, dropped off, disposed 
it's how i'm feeling, i wish that i could keep it away
i shout, call out, am i supposed 
to feel omitted, i hate that we've been drifting 
away from each other, why do i shudder 
i may be overthinking, my mind gets so cluttered 
and i wanna fix it, i hope to be acquitted, 
and face the contradiction, i can't help but feel omitted from you

(FLOWER CLUB)
i feel omitted, must admit it
man why cant u learn to quit it
im getting sickened, my friends are hurting
and now i gotta fix it
why are u acting heartless? i wish u didnt start this
u fucked me up regardless, why are u still acting heartless?
id take a bullet for these people
that wouldnt bat an eye if i disappeared tonight
and i hate being like this, i swear that im tryin
the cold shoulder fucks me up and i cant deny it

rumination

omitted (feat. FLOWER CLUB)

omitted (w. starflye)

##G0RE:SET
@prodbyaustyn
shoutout to @rouri404 for making me feel so welcome

---------------------------------

curtains close 
give a round of applause 
change your clothes
i know you gave it your all 
keep my composure, the show isn't over, 
seeing through your act has got me so appalled 
undercasted, why do you change throughout all these roles?
dominate the stage, yeah it's why you take control

intentions 
get mangled and tangled
it made us unstable
we never learn
feel tension 
in words that you say, in the part that you play
but i feel you blur the line, with lights and lines
try to change the scene but we run it twice 
can't we work it out like grown ups, 
instead of hiding behind these stage personas

stage lights burnin what’s the cost
Reflections on everything that we lost
I know the show will always go on
theatre burnin 2 the ground 
Ill sing a slow song
screamed into an empty room for way 2 fuckin long 
masks are comin off
voices seepin thru the walls
crawlin on the rafters no more hanging on
body’s under pavement
I’m the shadow in the hall
Distant memories of everything we used to be have been coming back around
Days are fading in and out

MARIONETTE (feat. rouri404)

stream <3

MARIONETTE (w. rouri404)

fuck growing up fr

made this for goophouse week :) i love austyn, this beat is so good thx for making this with me <3
@prodbyaustyn

fuck time

(dylan longworth cover)
shoutout G. Moore for being so fire with this original
~prod. noevdv x lodoni

dash

shoutout @k4yd3nce for working on this song w me ily <3
and shoutout @kaihaunted too ily bestie this cover art pretty 

~~~~~~~~

sitting in my room, feel like an asshole 
everyone around me building castles 
i can feel my brain starting to unravel 
starting to get bashful 
posted up on twitter, feel my bones shake 
wish i was satisfied with all that i make 
i can feel my brain replaying every mistake 
wishing i had switched lanes 

im going down
and what i found 
is no one notices any time i'm not around 
i make a sound 
and then i'm crowned 
will someone tell me it's in my mind, im being drowned 
by all of the clout 
that's not what this is about 
if i had known that this would happen then i would take a different route 
but things feel different now 
it's a vociferant sound
yeah i gotta get the ignorance out 

i know what you've been seeing but it's not me 
it's all my fault i'm the only one to stop me 
feel the same everyday, yeah the pressure got me 
wanna pave my own way but i'm just a copy 
i swear to god i promise 
my own image, is being shifted, i wanna keep it honest 
cut my eyes out, lights out 
see a cliff and i'm driving off of it now 
and what i found 
is no one notices any time i'm not around 
i make a sound 
and then i'm crowned 
will someone tell me it's in my mind, im being drowned 
by all of the clout 
that's not what this is about 
if i had known that this would happen then i would take a different route 
but things feel different now 
it's a vociferant sound
yeah i gotta get the ignorance out

vociferance

this song means alot to me because i've never talked about growing up like this before :) i hope you guys like it <3

again tyty @kaihaunted for the amazing art, it means a lot to me 
~~~~~~~~

hometown, head down 
walk around, never make a sound, yeah 
8 now, drugged out
every thought in my head is too loud 
on the corner of stumbling to the fucking bottom 
blue pill, red pill, too many fucking bottles 
gone now, and i found 
that this anxiety is killing me now 
13, no dreams 
just trying to get by by any means 
fake smiles, and routines
no one knows what's going on behind the scenes 
never thought i would end up being so pessimistic 
cause i keep breaking myself just to never go and fix it 
no sleep, and i see 
that all i needed was to go and be free

4000 people out here 
thank god i left it that year 
all keep their heads in the mirror 
and their peaks are closer than they appear 
hometown of zombies and ghosts 
fled west, oh i had to go 
got tired of everyone holding back on finding their growth 

19, come spring
i got stuck in the in-between, yeah 
no job, no keys
but i know i wanna be something 
paying rent with loan, i'm feeling so dependent 
start missing my home, and everybody in it 
pain stings, the sound rings
but back home, at least they're in the swings of things 

4000 people out there
at least their visions are clear 
i keep my head in the mirror 
and my peak is closer than it appears
hometown of zombies and ghosts
at least their heads are afloat 
got tired of looking back, wish that i had kept finding my growth

can i ask u some questions?

hometown

huge thank you again to @backlightorg for putting this album together with me, it came out beautifully <3

and to @wishlane,
i adore you, you mean the world to me, it was a bucket list thing for me to get my favorite artist to produce a song of mine, and you helped that come true. ily buddy thank you so much for creating this with me <3

~~~~

i am terrified of all that lies ahead of me 
will anyone remember me 
the sky 
doesn't seem to shine, i try to find a melody 
but i'm out of touch, out of key 
is it over?
do i have more to write? oh am i at my height?
feeling sober
i don't seem like the type to just say that i'm fine 
getting colder
and i keep losing sleep, keep my grief underneath
everybody around me is showing teeth
lately i cannot find any time for me 

do i even have to keep putting on a front 
do i even care if my brain gets corrupt 
i could just play pretend and brush it all under the rug
wont answer questions and give the people the hurt that they want
could i ever find a way to get out of my head 
i'm interviewed by these strangers, don't hear a word that they said 
the first impression of me is something that i always dread 
wont answer questions, keep the pain to myself instead

questions (prod. wishlane)

questions

one of the most real songs lyrically that i've ever put out 
~ huge ty to @lolydkm for the prod on this one, i can't imagine it sounding any different, you're so cracked <3

~~~~

deliriums kicking in, yeah i can feel it now 
and you made it evident we'd never see it out 
in my head we're together, the thoughts too loud
being friends might be better, but i don't know how 
when all that i'm wanting's in front of me, i gotta keep it down 
scenarios play in my mind and it's you and me
and the language you spoke, i was hearing it fluently 
but something lost in translation, we both agree 
that there is no relationship between you and me 
but nothing is changing, your smile girl, it ruins me 

i'm wasting away in your blue and i'm stupid deep
wishing you'd want me, but i'm wishing stupid things 
hope you can find it within you to notice me 
i'm trying and trying but i keep on on falling down 
something inside me it burns when you're not around 
nothing to say but for love yeah i'm calling out 
i'm calling out

using ways to set my soul afire 
use your gaze, never needed a lighter 
thought we'd make it, but now i'm so tired 
the embers they keep getting higher
see the pain that you put it in my eyes 
through the flames see my hearts a disguise 
thought you stay, girl it's such a surprise 
can't believe that our love turned to 
pyromania

pyromania (prod. ydkm)

pyromania

just how im feeling pls listen

---------
no one controls
where their head goes 
i'm sorry mine went to a place, 
where i wanted your embrace, 
guess i'll just let go
cause i've felt alone, 
you came along and felt just like home
but now i've lost track of the key, 
and i don't feel like me
guess i've lost control 

cause you were so captivating, suffocating me 
in a aggravating complication
can't find words to say, im so afraid, i'll change things for the worse

cause it's not the fact, that you don't like me back 
it's the nights we'd stay up after midnight and laugh 
unforgettable memories i wouldn't retract if i could
but it's not about all the times we’d hang out 
it's the songs we would write and the lyrics we'd shout 
in my two bed apartment, wouldn't leave until 5 if you could 
i miss what we had, but please don't like me back,

i'm on the mend, 
and i can't pretend 
like you're the worst, you brought out the best
let me get off my chest that it's in my head
to channel my thoughts into songs, 
i could have called, and said what's wrong 
the day i told you all of my truth, 
i was scared i would lose 
one of my best friends 

cause you are so effervescent, luminescent
let me take a second, wrong impressions 
make me look like a mess, no more hope in my chest, i think it's for the best

it's not the fact, that you don't like me back 
it's the nights we'd stay up after midnight and laugh 
unforgettable memories i wouldn't retract, that were good
cause it's not about all the times we went out 
it's the songs we would write and the lyrics we'd shout 
in my two bed apartment, wouldn't leave until 5 if you could 
i miss what we had, but please don't like me back

should you care, since it's not your fault
cause it's myself that i brought this upon 
i hope that these feelings are dead and gone 
cause i'm tired of writing these songs

like me backl

like me back

written and co-produced by me
produced by @swazyhq and @impursuit
----------- 
used to be so caught up in you, oh,
i've given up and now i'm running to the hills, cause i've lost the thrill
stuck in a hole, i don't know what to do, oh
i try to numb and look for something new to feel, but there's nothing real, and now i'm

discombobulated
i kept my hand in the fire, and now i'm getting so tired of this, (i'm feeling jaded)
i guess i'll keep getting higher, cause now i know you're a liar 
and shit, i'm devastated
i'm stuck in my room alone, i wish you'd pick up the phone, 
i feel the patience dissipating and now,

the sparks gone, there's no song, you finally won 
it's not fun, i'm struggling, was it something i'd done?
i'm not strong, nothing inside, my heart you had robbed 
the songs of love that i had, don't mean a thing anymore 
x2

losing a pulse, i need to take a breath, oh 
feel a convulsion running through my chest again, haven't slept again 
drowning my paper in a pool of lead, oh
pull me around like i'm a marionette, again
do you remember when you and me would 

stay up late, we're singing 
you said that i misconstrued it, you didn't think when you threw it away, 
my head is ringing, 
and now i'm feeling so stupid, i wish i hadn't went through it 
but hey, i'll stick to drinking 
the bottles always my friend, i know i'm drowning again 
but it's better than remembering, now it's different because

the sparks gone, there's no song, you finally won 
it's not fun, i'm struggling, was it something i'd done?
i'm not strong, nothing inside, my heart you had robbed 
the songs of love that i had, don't mean a thing anymore 
x2

feresy

i luv u ollie @prod-oc

~ go stream and follow :)
https://soundcloud.com/prod-oc
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6e0A38lng3gwUehNIeSm3G?si=KfUOqAiPQFecENKjOq5EhA
_____

2 o'clock on the dot and I'm tired 
girl your burned my mind, my hand was in the fire for too long
wish the memories would retire, woah
now i'm calling out, because my souls still tied to yours, leave me alone 

help me,
i'm falling deep ,
oh can't you see,
that i'm a mess? oh,
save me,
i'm patiently
waiting because i'm in distress oh,
and i don't think i can go on anymore ,
leave me broken, know you see me lying on the floor, 
i'll beg and plea, for things to be
how they were but instead 
watch the love evanesce, yeah

watch it fade, now it's gone into nothing,
i sit awake and ponder if there was something i did wrong, 
where did we go?
most people grow,
i feel omitted, but i know,
that you and me weren't meant to be, and everything is out of my control

help me,
i'm falling deep ,
oh can't you see,
that i'm a mess oh,
save me,
i'm patiently,
waiting because i'm in distress oh,
and i don't think i can go on anymore ,
leave me broken, know you see me lying on the floor, 
i'll beg and plea, for things to be
how they were but instead 
watch the love evanesce, yeah

evanesce

https://dbl.fanlink.to/coda
prod. by me and @simonpopdiva

- this song is a hard one to put out. when writing this a couple months ago, i wrote it as if it were a suicide note. i intended for it to be my final song, hence the name coda, which means the ending of something. i have since gotten better and realized life is meant to be cherished, so i hope you guys enjoy this song <333

~ would it kill anyone if i disappeared?
would it hurt anyone if i wasn't here 
would they look through my computer 
see that i was gonna lose it 
through my music, yeah that's my biggest fear
would my family even miss me if i'm gone 
would my mom and dad wonder where they went wrong?
would they try to open the curtains
but all that i know is certain 
is someday i'll make my final song 

my dad told me to open the blinds 
cause everyone needs a little bit of son in their life 
in my dreams i keep on running 
i keep holding onto something 
but don't know why i try
my ex left me, cause i was such a mess 
she needed space, and didn't think i could be pulled from the wreck 
i got tired of pretending 
that i didn't want the ending 
but now im ready to fly away 

i'd rather run into traffic then have to deal with this 
pains weighing down on my chest but i'm fucking used to it 
thought i'd be happy, i used to live in the foolishness 
now the songs is over, im through with it, through with it ~

coda

now it's the end of the line :/
- the most massive thank you to @dezforman for helping me tell this story and to @bonddot for the mixing <3 love you guys fr

~ never been the type for confrontation 
i lost all my power, i can't even fake it
so complacent, no 
the way you worked your magic is so amazing 
i lost who i was, i got out of your gaze and now i'm saving me 
the odds had kept me from breathing 
i never tried to get even 
write about how i'm feeling 
to clear my mind, yeah im drawing the line 
stare at your likes and a view count 
all of our issues you drew out 
and i don't know what to do now
guess i gotta speak out 

i didn't mean to you love you 
i guess i kinda like the way that you would run to me 
i always hoped you come through
you kinda led me on and watched me drown in oceans deep
should have listened to all my friends 
cause you were using me for gain and i would play pretend, you were mine 
should have payed attention to the signs
now it's the end of the line 

thought about the night i left the station 
got off that train and left you all alone
oh how much did you grow?
the way you slipped back in, and got me again
i can't even shake you off
lost what i wanted, can't move all this weight, i failed in saving me 
is what we had really worth it?i
no need in tryna preserve it 
i know we're both probably hurting 
but it's easy sometimes, if you just drew the line 
fuck all the likes and the view counts
it's you and me that should figure it out 
and i don't know what to do now
guess i gotta stand my ground 

i didn't mean to you love you 
i guess i kinda like the way that you would run to me 
i always hoped you come through
you kinda led me on and watched me drown in oceans deep
should have listened to all my friends 
cause you were using me for gain and i would play pretend, you were mine 
should have payed attention to the signs
now it's the end of the line 

i didn't mean to love you 
in fact i never tried to 
but here we are, here we are ~

terminus

you're all i adore <33
out now on all platforms -> https://dbl.fanlink.to/adore

~ listened to fireflies like one hundred times,
it's been a week, and now you're staying the night 
don't wanna think about if we'd not collided,
i knew i would find it 
gave you a t-shirt that was stuffed in the drawer 
said you were mine, and than i said i was yours 
i heard it slip, that's how i know it was pure 
i think that i struck a chord 

my hearts been filled 
ain't used to that, i'm
head over heels
and i'm attached 
in love with how it feels 
i've got your back 
i know you don't need saving, but it goes without saying that

if anything's too big, you know i'm gonna help when i can 
my louis lane i've got no shame in being your superman 
gave me your heart and i'm keeping it in the palm of my hand 
so i don't care if i fall, hope you're where i land 
if anything's too much, i'll try to calm the coming of storms 
can't let you hurt, but i would walk right through the thick and the thorns 
gave me the key, and i know that we both won't open the door 
i'll take it slow, i hope you know, you're all i adore
oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore, oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore

bedsheets all messy, but i don't even care 
i'd stop the world, if i could just lay and stare 
at those hazel eyes, messy hair, what i'd give to 
spend forever with you
gave you a place to let your fears go to rest 
get it off yours, while you fall into my chest 
found the light, found my home, and im feeling so blessed 
there's nothing left to be said

my heart you stole 
it's yours to have, and
i feel so whole 
i'm so attached 
and girl you got my soul,
i've got your back 
i know you don't need saving, but it goes without saying that

if anything's too big, you know i'm gonna help when i can 
my louis lane i've got no shame in being your superman 
gave me your heart and i'm keeping it in the palm of my hand 
so i don't care if i fall, hope you're where i land 
if anything's too much, i'll try to calm the coming of storms 
can't let you hurt, but i would walk right through the thick and the thorns 
gave me the key, and i know that we both won't open the door 
i'll take it slow, i hope you know, you're all i adore 
oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore, oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore

adore

prod. @karimusicc and @okpooka
-------------

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in 

you know you really made a mess of me
had to stop before it gets too deep
should have tried to keep protecting me 
cause i never deserved you at all 
your energy is like ecstasy 
and i'm falling in it and it's helplessly 
all the problems coming at ya heavily
you deserve better, i could give you it all

so drunk, out here dancing to fleetwood, and you know you're bad 
keep playing how i thought my dreams would, and i'm not too mad 
i hope you see, i'd be the best thing that you ever had 
you ain't even gotta like me back, 
we saw what happened when i got attached

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in

stand down like a soldier
early in the morning, pour a cup like it was folgers 
i ran out of mud still threw a dirtball in my soda 
i hope i don't overdo it on my glow up shit, been feeling like chief sosa 
baby love to play with my heart, i make it too easy
took me for like everything that i got and then was outa here like wheezy
i can't help but complain at my spot, you don't do nothin to please me 
you could take like everything that i have, i know you so damn greedy
family gon trip bout my expenses
i aint never been no rich kid, i just always was finessin 
i done walked in the petting zoo, these goats match my resemblance 
shawty broke my heart so damn fast, you could say its impressive
(when tf im gon learn my lesson)

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in

aura

aura (w. swazy*)

prod. @claudesdiary and @assperrr

--------

i took that photograph of us on the couch
said things were perfect, took the words from my mouth
we got too close and then you told me about 
all the guys in your mind, but i'm not one of them
told me come over, cause you miss when he's there
get lost and try to find my way through your stare
i’d give you everything you wanted, i swear 
worth a try? never mind, overstepping again 

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
fast asleep, do you think maybe there could be a glimpse?
i have dreams of hoping i could be him 
your namesake, walking over me again 
split between someone you love and a friend 
i'd let you know, but i'm worried that you and me would end

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my heart's yours to take 

girl i don't think these feelings'll ever change
but if i gotta i’d suppress it away 
so if you'd let me, i could be something great 
not a guy that'll lie, swear i'm not one of them 
love where we are, but we could be so much more 
i’d make you mine if you'd just open the door
i apologize, baby it's something i can't ignore 
over time, hope it's fine, and we'll keep being friends

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
i’d say it all but i'm worried that things wouldn't make sense

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my hearts your's to take

chase

chase (prod. claude & asperr)

prod. anem0s
-----------
i guess i'll give you some space, yeah
my head, oh it’s racing
got used to the chase and didn’t know what it was for 
i guess that i was mistaken, couldn’t tell you were faking 
can’t keep up with the pace, and now it feels like a chore
do you want me anymore? loves getting stale, and you’re bored
my body aches and i'm sore, need you, deep down in my core
need something else in my mind, can’t think to leave you behind
because when my heart's on the line you pull me back every time

try not to freak, i don’t think that we’ll last, feel the pressure,
and i'm feeling weak, i'm never turning my back
but i never think i’ll get closer, can’t breathe, keep my composure
we link, and then it's over, to think i’d get some closure from you
trying not to blink, cause you’re gone in a flash, but whatever,
and i'm gonna sink, never throw me a raft
but i never think that it’s over, i’ll drink, plea when i'm sober
you peak, keep going over emotion rollercoasters with you

this shit is over my head,
i'm getting sober, the mental anguish sanguine red i-
it'll take a little bit to get you out my head and slip away
so tie the tourniquet, the blood flow stops, i don't want to be drained
a final word, you left me broken and I don't want to lead astray
think that I'm the one to blame, think I'll never be the-
i'm not the same, since you left me in terrible weather
i sold my things, left my heart in the pocket of a sweater
i ain't no saint, i know I can do so much better
breaking up again, i think we're waking up as friends, i guess i'll

try not to freak, i don’t think that we’ll last, feel the pressure,
and i'm feeling weak, i'm never turning my back
but i never think i’ll get closer, can’t breathe, keep my composure
we link, and then it's over, to think i’d get some closure from you
trying not to blink, cause you’re gone in a flash, but whatever,
and i'm gonna sink, never throw me a raft
but i never think that it’s over, i’ll drink, plea when i'm sober
you peak, keep going over emotion rollercoasters with you

anderance

anderance (w. corefish)

~ don't mean to tether myself.. ~ 
prod. grayskies
-----
can't face reality 
didn't think i'd be affected by the gravity 
gotta try and break me free but it's not guaranteed
hold on to someone i don't know and yeah it's sad to see 
how'd you get attached to me?
yell through your stridency
but i don't think i could show you the bad side of me 
i guess i'll fray the ends and let go while i try to sleep
let go of someone i don't know, but now you're fighting me
try to find the irony 

i thought that i was saved 
a siren song, and i surrender to sound
you pulled me in, i caved 
and now i’m planted, stuck here in the ground 

don’t mean to tether myself
when you don’t need someone else 
yeah i’ve been going through hell, and i fell too hard
cause I’ve been rooted in you
i guess your feelings weren’t true 
i sat here watching you bloom, but i’m in the dark
cause things die before their time
but i can’t blossom into nothing when you’re stuck into mine
i dig myself when you look
i’m falling on tenderhooks,
don’t need me, wish that you would, cause i’m tearing apart

cause in reality, you’re the only thing keeping me here,
I just want to let you go, why won’t you let me disappear? 
because i’m holding on to someone I don’t know, 
do you love me like you say you do? 
cause there’s a part of me that I don’t want to show to you.
and I know it’s harder just to follow through, 
cause if I end up falling I don’t want you falling too
I’m tied to what you said, 
and I know that it don’t mean nothing to you
i’m tied down can’t get air, 
but I can’t leave cause it’ll let you down

don’t mean to tether myself
when you don’t need someone else 
yeah i’ve been going through hell, and i fell too hard
cause I’ve been rooted in you
i guess your feelings weren’t true 
i sat here watching you bloom, but i’m in the dark
cause things die before their time
but i can’t blossom into nothing when you’re stuck into mine
i dig myself when you look
i’m falling on tenderhooks,
don’t need me, wish that you would, cause i’m tearing apart

tenderhooks

tenderhooks (w. boygrim)

~ cause they need me.. ~
written, produced, and mixed by me <3
mastered by alisynn
-----
21, 
unemployed, and i'm bored of the life i live 
what more could i give?
hungers gone, 
out of songs, feel the dawn, and i just might quit 
feeling my head split 

they say keep going, you'll make it to the summit
but the numbers falling, was all in, feel the hurt in my stomach 
keep asking why i changed, i say that it's nothing 
mental steady plummets, need something, it's back home where the love is 

don't need statistics,
my hometown is what i'm missing 
they told me, i wouldn't listen,
the mirror obscured my vision 
zombies and ghosts bring the comfort 
i had to go, it's no wonder 
stuck in this hole, needing something
i'm going back, and i'm 
gonna drive, through the night 
when they see me, it's an easy fix 
and i might give a try,
cause they need me, in the 336

picture my life, at my 25 
i'm sitting on my couch, getting drunk and staying high,
it's difficult 
i try to say it's okay, but i don't ever mean it 
i fucking hate what i made, cause it don't feel appealing
everybody getting married, getting jobs,
nathan and matt and charles, man i miss em a lot 
i have faith, i swear i'm giving all that i got 
don't wanna stay here, and it's clear i got the freedom of thought 
gabe said keep going, you'll make it to the stations 
losing concentration, embrace it 
there's no need to be racing 
nostalgia hits me, i just don't like the hatred 
but the thoughts invading, exclaiming 
that my town is amazing, it's shaping me 

don't need statistics,
my hometown is what i'm missing 
they told me, i wouldn't listen,
the mirror obscured my vision 
zombies and ghosts bring the comfort 
i had to go, it's no wonder 
stuck in this hole, needing something
i'm going back, and i'm 
gonna drive, through the night 
when they see me, it's an easy fix 
and i might give a try,
cause they need me, in the 336

dolorem obscura

heartmoor (hometown II)

~ apolytus ~
n. the moment you realize you are changing as a person, finally outgrowing your old problems like a reptile shedding its skin, already able to twist back around and chuckle at this weirdly antiquated caricature of yourself that will soon come off completely

produced by @yaki_a01
mastered by @alisynn

apolytus

~ aulasy ~ 
n. the sadness that there is no way to convey a powerful memory to people who weren't there at the time; driving past your childhood home to show it to a friend, or pointing at a picture of a loved one you lost, only to realize that to them it's just another house, just another face.

prod. by @billy_exclamationpoint
mastered by @alisynn

aulasy

~ alexithymia ~
n. a neuropsychological phenomenon expressing important difficulties in identifying and describing the experienced emotions by oneself or others. It also involves emotional issues in terms of social attachment and interpersonal relations. There is no scientific agreement whether this neuropsychological phenomenon is a personality trait, a medical symptom or eventually a mental disorder.

prod. by me and @bdsm2
mastered by @alisynn

alexithymia (outro)

~ drisson ~
n. an unexpected twinge of attraction for a friend; a flutter of desire you don't necessarily want to feel and that didn't even seem possible up until this point, when it suddenly becomes a problem you don't want to deal with.

produced by me
mastered by @alisynn

drisson

guitar and lyrics by me <3
additional prod. + trumpet by @dramatrial
~

i'll take all the steel that i left in my bag 
but nothing feels real so i'll take a step back 
and i'll build me a rocket and fly far away 
but no one's impressed, i've got nothing to say 
i left for the evening, and hoped for the best 
but everything's heavy, this weight on my chest 
yeah it's holding me down and i can't lift it up
now everyone's off and i feel like i'm stuck on the moon

ad astra

ad astra (with drama trial)

prod. me :))
~
tried writing songs from the heart, 
my brain tears me apart
keep singing straight through the dark 
hit a wall
no ounce of vodka would start 
what i used to call a spark
i feel it dwindle, it's dark
where's my heart?

lost in vastness
swear i thought i could pass this 
losing touch from the masses 
it's true 
write a draft, ain't enough 
toss in the trash, can't give up 
fight till my last breath, with you 
i swear it keeps preying on me 
i know it's easy to see that 
i'm cut at the seams, it's getting hard to breathe 
i'm grinding my teeth
the papers dripping with ink
i fall down to my knees
i'd  give in, spare me please 

feels like i'm sinking in doubt 
from what i'm writing about
i feel small, my heads getting clouded 
hit a brick wall, but i won't allow it 
the same old is burning me out 
my heads in a creative drought 
i might just need a catalyst 
because my writings in paralysis 

it's been ten years, and i've been trying to say it different 
can't shift gears, and i've been trying to be consistent 
i'm right here, you can tell by my disposition 
but i still write, then i cross lines, cause it's repetition 
a ghostly apparition, im missing the recognition,
i'm not being pessimistic, im tired of being persistent 
i know that i'd be remissed if i packed it all up and quit 
but i won't let the feeling win, this the strongest I've ever been 

i swear it hurts me to write 
i know it's easy to spite but
i'm cut at the sides, it's getting hard to try
i cant sleep at night 
the papers staring inside 
i fall down, guess it's time 
i just can't make up my mind

feels like i'm sinking in doubt 
from what i'm writing about
i feel small, my heads getting clouded 
hit a brick wall, but i won't allow it 
the same old is burning me out 
my heads in a creative drought
i might just need a catalyst 
because my writings in paralysis

paralysis

i think my wifi crashed *mad emoji*

~

do you think that we're connected?
the access point is unprotected
lost the signal, dropped the call, 
hope i didn't drop the ball? 
are we back online or is it still rejecting?

flip the router, find the button and press it 
all i gotta do is reset it
turn you on, i'll wait a second, oh
couldn't reach the switch on the surge protector 
kept it safe like a heart in a sweater
it's safe to say if i knew you better,
i wouldn't need a connector

i think i have the bandwidth 
the signals been extended
hope it's not too demanding 
to fix misunderstandings
beside yous where im standing 
i swear, that's what the plan is 
ima play all night, in the rain ima sing, 
cause i'm talking to you, no matter the ping 

but part of me still thinks you wanna stay offline 
i know you're scared of the commitment, but we still got time on the clock, 
turn it on, turn it off, 
troubleshoot in the dark
i don't care if it sparks 
do you want me or not
this ain't dial up, 
yeah, you can get really get ahold of me whenever you want
i think im falling into you and i don't care if it's wrong
connect the modem, try to boot it up, we're moving along, super strong 

do you understand that the love transcended,
you're my best friend, and we're right back in 
need a VPN for my heart again 
but it all depends, can i hold your hand?

if the router crashed, i would have your back
and id reattach all the cables latched 
when the lights come up, yeah i start to laugh 
cause the signal flashed, but we're still intact 

i think i have the bandwidth 
the signals been extended
hope it's not too demanding 
to fix misunderstandings
beside yous where im standing 
i swear, that's what the plan is 
ima play all night, in the rain ima sing, 
cause i'm talking to you, no matter the ping

ping

on all platforms soon <3

did i say something wrong
or did you hear what i was thinking? 
i hope it doesn't fall apart 
when i confide in you the feelings that you're given me 
did i write too many songs? 
or was the melody familiar? 
please don't keep stringing me along 
if this is something that'll go nowhere, i'll stop and stare 

paraonoia started taking me over 
can't avoid ya, and im not staying sober
just tell me do you prefer progress or closure 
cause i'm okay with either one, but the ladders never fun

i'll step up and look down 
al the memories are stranded on the ground 
do i give up? or reach out? 
i can't read you well, and you can tell i'm bound 
to fall for you somehow

when she reads to me, or sings to me
i'm falling and it's stupid deep 
found the hoodie i let her keep a year ago 
when she's next to me, its heavenly 
her eyes i see reflecting me 
her smile, feels like ecstasy, did i let it show? 

you must be acting you came in with no reaction
now every moment is passing, 
i thought we had gained some traction 
what happened 

but now your back in, do you feel any satisfaction 
i should have kept you in past tense 
rehearsing the interaction
shit it's crashing

i'll step up and look down 
al the memories are stranded on the ground 
do i give up? or reach out? 
i can't read you well, and you can tell i'm bound 
shit it's crashing
i'll step up and look down 
al the memories are stranded on the ground 
do i give up? or reach out? 
i can't read you well, and you can tell i'm bound

agnosia

run with me <33

• Main Guitar by trndytrndy
Produced, Mixed and Mastered by me
Co-written by Maxine Derkacz

~

Every good love song involves the way you fall, and that's okay with me
'Cause when you speak, I take your words you say and make another melody
The lyrics come so naturally, anytime that you're with me
With me
You're my good luck charm, stay up 'till dawn, there's nothing wrong, 'cause you're the muse
When you fix the pain, the lyrics changed, and take the shape of me and you
'Cause you're my favorite instrument, I swear to god, you're heaven sent
You're heaven sent

See your smile caused the chords I'm playing
Our lips are locked, and hips are swaying
Perpetual collaboration
My favorite inspiration
'Cause your voice is like a shift to tonic
And any time you need, I'm on it
Cause you and me feel so melodic
No writers block, with you I got it

Do, re, mi
Swear you're my favorite harmony
Your body feels like a symphony
And I'm sitting in front row seats
Scales and keys
Ain't got a thing on what we could be
The song will write itself beautifully
So like a riff, baby run with me, with me
With me, like a riff, baby run with me
With me

My Sweet Caroline, my Lady May, my Brandy, you're a fine girl
My Lucy in the Sky, my Haley Jade, make me sing Elvira
Oh, Ophelia, you don't know how much you mess me up
Baby I swear you're the one I'm thinking of
My Brown Eyed Girl, my Delilah, my whole world
I'd write a song and name it
After you cause I can't take it
What if I'm flat or miss the cadence
Or somehow make your -- angry
I guess that what I'm saying
Is this thing is so amazing
So I'll take the hook again
I think I'll say it, I love you crazy

Do, re, mi
Swear you're my favorite harmony
Your body feels like a symphony
And I'm sitting in front row seats
Scales and keys
Ain't got a thing on what we could be
The song will write itself beautifully
So like a riff, baby run with me, with me

Do, re, mi
Swear you're my favorite harmony
Your body feels like a symphony
And I'm sitting in front row seats
Scales and keys
Ain't got a thing on what we could be
The song will write itself beautifully
So like a riff, baby run with me, with me
With me, like a riff, baby run with me

riff

~ why'd u eclipse my sun? ~
additional prod. from 111robloxdude

-
fall in you, hit the ground, hear me out,
call my name when in doubt, i'm around 
but you don't seem like yourself anyhow
anyhow
you've been gone, so i keep taking downs 
head will spin, sad again, disavowed 
it's hard to write when you find every word that i wanna hear

but do you find that piece of mind 
with some other guy 
how redundant am i? 
oh why can't my life be so perfect and nice?
heart broke too many times without even going outside?
i try to

sober up, and don't point fault 
it's not like you don't care at all 
but things are tough, and i'm just too far 
and he's exactly where you are 
i can't save face, it's getting tough 
to watch you choose where you give the love 
you gave me light, but now it's gone 
why'd you eclipse my sun?

take a breath, tear me down, take a bow 
show is done, watch you run, see you ‘round
don’t have a choice, can't avoid all the things that we would talk about 
i kept on hearing you out 
now i’m stuck in between what you wanted from me 
and what i wanna be, oh i thought you would leave 
the choice that you made, it was wrong i’m afraid 
now there's nothing to get me to stay 

cause i watched you cry when i said goodbye
i can't sleep at night, how unwanted am i? 
oh why can't this time be so perfect and nice?
heart broke too many times, but i guess that it's just my design 
i'm struggling, my spirit will plummet, i’ll

sober up, and don't point fault 
it's not like you don't care at all 
but things are tough, and i'm just too far 
and he's exactly where you are 
i can't save face, it's getting tough 
to watch you choose where you give the love 
you gave me light, but now it's gone 
why'd you eclipse my sun?

borderline

eclipse

~ popstar~
he/they :) 22
• dBL Music •

dm me or email for collabs :) 
dylanblongworth@gmail.com

Dylan Longworth

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