ok google, how do i keep going

prod. mixed, and mastered by me 
shoutout @prodbyaustyn for the co-prod on this one :)
also @t3rmes for the songwriting on the hook when my brain hurted <3

---------------

20 now, this isn't how 
i thought it would work out 
breaking vows, might take a bow 
because i'm tired of feeling down 
put all my anger into a microphone 
it's no ones fault but my own please just let me be alone 
all my friends they were plastic, and i'm was silicone 
fit into molds, now watch me grow 
i won't see it through, to twenty two 
i thought i had nothing to lose 
maybe views, or my muse 
i hope these thoughts i have the chance to defuse 
buts it's looking that i might just have to give it up 
stay at the bottom while all my friends, they live it up 
i've got potential i guess i just gotta pick it up 
im getting up, i've had enough

falling out of touch with who i am 
revolving, my mind a door, it's turning 
am i deserving? 
stalling all the opportunities at hand 
to hear them applauding, is all that i want, but i'm so exhausted 

i've been so exhausted 
i feel like a hostage
in my brain, i've lost it, 
wilt away watch my friends all blossom
sun don't shine, upon me 
petals they're all falling 
in my head, it's daunting, 
being left behind in the dawning 

the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
the thought are benign, but they're taking a toll 
the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
a flower dead in the night, out of sight, decomposed

rumination

zinnia

this song came from a really crazy and angry place, and it just felt right to have @starflye on it :)

produced, mixed, mastered by me
----------

get up at noon, and feel like shit 
why do my friends treat me like this, like this 
sick and tired of fueling the fire, i'm too sensitive to fight it 
fall asleep at 6 in the morning 
why don't i get any warning
give and take my happiness away but i guess it's not that important 

where did we go? most friends they grow 
why are you colder than you were before?
did i say things to ever bring 
you and me to the point of no return?

left out, dropped off, disposed 
it's how i'm feeling, i wish that i could keep it away
i shout, call out, am i supposed 
to feel omitted, i hate that we've been drifting 
away from each other, why do i shudder 
i may be overthinking, my mind gets so cluttered 
and i wanna fix it, i hope to be acquitted, 
and face the contradiction, i can't help but feel omitted from you

go straight to work, feeling bored, yeah 
outside i'm alright, but in the inside i'm torn
can't keep putting effort into fake friends anymore 
so what's a bunch of strings of code and underscores? 
(but i'm sorry if i set you off)
i guess it's my fault in the end yeah
cause i give my all, while all these fuckers play pretend 
if i fucked up, i swear it's not what i intended 
cause i can't get apprehended if you keep your mouth 

shut from my home, i crash, time goes
in my mind, i just can't seem to forget 
did i say things to ever bring 
you and me to a place we both regret?

left out, dropped off, disposed 
it's how i'm feeling, i wish that i could keep it away
i shout, call out, am i supposed 
to feel omitted, i hate that we've been drifting 
away from each other, why do i shudder 
i may be overthinking, my mind gets so cluttered 
and i wanna fix it, i hope to be acquitted, 
and face the contradiction, i can't help but feel omitted from you

(FLOWER CLUB)
i feel omitted, must admit it
man why cant u learn to quit it
im getting sickened, my friends are hurting
and now i gotta fix it
why are u acting heartless? i wish u didnt start this
u fucked me up regardless, why are u still acting heartless?
id take a bullet for these people
that wouldnt bat an eye if i disappeared tonight
and i hate being like this, i swear that im tryin
the cold shoulder fucks me up and i cant deny it

omitted (feat. FLOWER CLUB)

omitted (w. starflye)

##G0RE:SET
@prodbyaustyn
shoutout to @rouri404 for making me feel so welcome

---------------------------------

curtains close 
give a round of applause 
change your clothes
i know you gave it your all 
keep my composure, the show isn't over, 
seeing through your act has got me so appalled 
undercasted, why do you change throughout all these roles?
dominate the stage, yeah it's why you take control

intentions 
get mangled and tangled
it made us unstable
we never learn
feel tension 
in words that you say, in the part that you play
but i feel you blur the line, with lights and lines
try to change the scene but we run it twice 
can't we work it out like grown ups, 
instead of hiding behind these stage personas

stage lights burnin what’s the cost
Reflections on everything that we lost
I know the show will always go on
theatre burnin 2 the ground 
Ill sing a slow song
screamed into an empty room for way 2 fuckin long 
masks are comin off
voices seepin thru the walls
crawlin on the rafters no more hanging on
body’s under pavement
I’m the shadow in the hall
Distant memories of everything we used to be have been coming back around
Days are fading in and out

MARIONETTE (feat. rouri404)

stream <3

MARIONETTE (w. rouri404)

fuck growing up fr

made this for goophouse week :) i love austyn, this beat is so good thx for making this with me <3
@prodbyaustyn

fuck time

(dylan longworth cover)
shoutout G. Moore for being so fire with this original
~prod. noevdv x lodoni

dash

shoutout @k4yd3nce for working on this song w me ily <3
and shoutout @kaihaunted too ily bestie this cover art pretty 

~~~~~~~~

sitting in my room, feel like an asshole 
everyone around me building castles 
i can feel my brain starting to unravel 
starting to get bashful 
posted up on twitter, feel my bones shake 
wish i was satisfied with all that i make 
i can feel my brain replaying every mistake 
wishing i had switched lanes 

im going down
and what i found 
is no one notices any time i'm not around 
i make a sound 
and then i'm crowned 
will someone tell me it's in my mind, im being drowned 
by all of the clout 
that's not what this is about 
if i had known that this would happen then i would take a different route 
but things feel different now 
it's a vociferant sound
yeah i gotta get the ignorance out 

i know what you've been seeing but it's not me 
it's all my fault i'm the only one to stop me 
feel the same everyday, yeah the pressure got me 
wanna pave my own way but i'm just a copy 
i swear to god i promise 
my own image, is being shifted, i wanna keep it honest 
cut my eyes out, lights out 
see a cliff and i'm driving off of it now 
and what i found 
is no one notices any time i'm not around 
i make a sound 
and then i'm crowned 
will someone tell me it's in my mind, im being drowned 
by all of the clout 
that's not what this is about 
if i had known that this would happen then i would take a different route 
but things feel different now 
it's a vociferant sound
yeah i gotta get the ignorance out

vociferance

this song means alot to me because i've never talked about growing up like this before :) i hope you guys like it <3

again tyty @kaihaunted for the amazing art, it means a lot to me 
~~~~~~~~

hometown, head down 
walk around, never make a sound, yeah 
8 now, drugged out
every thought in my head is too loud 
on the corner of stumbling to the fucking bottom 
blue pill, red pill, too many fucking bottles 
gone now, and i found 
that this anxiety is killing me now 
13, no dreams 
just trying to get by by any means 
fake smiles, and routines
no one knows what's going on behind the scenes 
never thought i would end up being so pessimistic 
cause i keep breaking myself just to never go and fix it 
no sleep, and i see 
that all i needed was to go and be free

4000 people out here 
thank god i left it that year 
all keep their heads in the mirror 
and their peaks are closer than they appear 
hometown of zombies and ghosts 
fled west, oh i had to go 
got tired of everyone holding back on finding their growth 

19, come spring
i got stuck in the in-between, yeah 
no job, no keys
but i know i wanna be something 
paying rent with loan, i'm feeling so dependent 
start missing my home, and everybody in it 
pain stings, the sound rings
but back home, at least they're in the swings of things 

4000 people out there
at least their visions are clear 
i keep my head in the mirror 
and my peak is closer than it appears
hometown of zombies and ghosts
at least their heads are afloat 
got tired of looking back, wish that i had kept finding my growth

can i ask u some questions?

hometown

this song is about a series of dreams i had where i lived in an apartment in nashville living out my music dreams, and i lived in apartment 213 (i knew it was important since i kept remembering it). 213 is an angel number signifying creative change, but is ALSO the exit number when you head into nashville. so this song is about my dream of living there and finally finding myself <3

~~~~~~~~

waking up everyday i feel there's something wrong
and i know that my heart is showing where i belong 
so i'm leaving today, im packing my bags, im out of sight 
cause if i stay, then i'll feel complacent, i gotta try 
to get away, because maybe there'll be a better song 
i turn the key, and i'm feeling a better sense of me 
as im driving highways and roads on over to Tennessee
i feel a wave, as i cross the pave of the border line 
something's calling me, god i hope that it's by design 
now i'm home, and my heart and soul yeah they both agree 

that this where i'm supposed to be 
driving through the 213 
thinking about you and me 
never though i'd feel so free 
if i were in nashville
oh i know that i wouldn't be sad still
foot on the gas, keeps me running where i'm supposed to be
driving through the 213  
and i'm feeling like me

i wonder if they all miss me or did they even care 
and then i get a message from someone that wasn't ever there 
then i clear my mind, i pass by the road signs
i left things behind, when i turned right 
in my eyes, i see lights and headlines 
it seems right

i know this is where i'm supposed to be 
driving through the 213 
thinking about you and me 
i never though i'd feel so free 
if i were in nashville
oh i know that i wouldn't be sad still
foot on the gas, keeps running where i'm supposed to be
driving through the 213  
and i'm feeling like me

exit 213b

huge thank you again to @backlightorg for putting this album together with me, it came out beautifully <3

and to @wishlane,
i adore you, you mean the world to me, it was a bucket list thing for me to get my favorite artist to produce a song of mine, and you helped that come true. ily buddy thank you so much for creating this with me <3

~~~~

i am terrified of all that lies ahead of me 
will anyone remember me 
the sky 
doesn't seem to shine, i try to find a melody 
but i'm out of touch, out of key 
is it over?
do i have more to write? oh am i at my height?
feeling sober
i don't seem like the type to just say that i'm fine 
getting colder
and i keep losing sleep, keep my grief underneath
everybody around me is showing teeth
lately i cannot find any time for me 

do i even have to keep putting on a front 
do i even care if my brain gets corrupt 
i could just play pretend and brush it all under the rug
wont answer questions and give the people the hurt that they want
could i ever find a way to get out of my head 
i'm interviewed by these strangers, don't hear a word that they said 
the first impression of me is something that i always dread 
wont answer questions, keep the pain to myself instead

questions (prod. wishlane)

questions

one of the most real songs lyrically that i've ever put out 
~ huge ty to @lolydkm for the prod on this one, i can't imagine it sounding any different, you're so cracked <3

~~~~

deliriums kicking in, yeah i can feel it now 
and you made it evident we'd never see it out 
in my head we're together, the thoughts too loud
being friends might be better, but i don't know how 
when all that i'm wanting's in front of me, i gotta keep it down 
scenarios play in my mind and it's you and me
and the language you spoke, i was hearing it fluently 
but something lost in translation, we both agree 
that there is no relationship between you and me 
but nothing is changing, your smile girl, it ruins me 

i'm wasting away in your blue and i'm stupid deep
wishing you'd want me, but i'm wishing stupid things 
hope you can find it within you to notice me 
i'm trying and trying but i keep on on falling down 
something inside me it burns when you're not around 
nothing to say but for love yeah i'm calling out 
i'm calling out

using ways to set my soul afire 
use your gaze, never needed a lighter 
thought we'd make it, but now i'm so tired 
the embers they keep getting higher
see the pain that you put it in my eyes 
through the flames see my hearts a disguise 
thought you stay, girl it's such a surprise 
can't believe that our love turned to 
pyromania

pyromania (prod. ydkm)

pyromania

just how im feeling pls listen

---------
no one controls
where their head goes 
i'm sorry mine went to a place, 
where i wanted your embrace, 
guess i'll just let go
cause i've felt alone, 
you came along and felt just like home
but now i've lost track of the key, 
and i don't feel like me
guess i've lost control 

cause you were so captivating, suffocating me 
in a aggravating complication
can't find words to say, im so afraid, i'll change things for the worse

cause it's not the fact, that you don't like me back 
it's the nights we'd stay up after midnight and laugh 
unforgettable memories i wouldn't retract if i could
but it's not about all the times we’d hang out 
it's the songs we would write and the lyrics we'd shout 
in my two bed apartment, wouldn't leave until 5 if you could 
i miss what we had, but please don't like me back,

i'm on the mend, 
and i can't pretend 
like you're the worst, you brought out the best
let me get off my chest that it's in my head
to channel my thoughts into songs, 
i could have called, and said what's wrong 
the day i told you all of my truth, 
i was scared i would lose 
one of my best friends 

cause you are so effervescent, luminescent
let me take a second, wrong impressions 
make me look like a mess, no more hope in my chest, i think it's for the best

it's not the fact, that you don't like me back 
it's the nights we'd stay up after midnight and laugh 
unforgettable memories i wouldn't retract, that were good
cause it's not about all the times we went out 
it's the songs we would write and the lyrics we'd shout 
in my two bed apartment, wouldn't leave until 5 if you could 
i miss what we had, but please don't like me back

should you care, since it's not your fault
cause it's myself that i brought this upon 
i hope that these feelings are dead and gone 
cause i'm tired of writing these songs

like me backl

like me back

written and co-produced by me
produced by @swazyhq and @impursuit
----------- 
used to be so caught up in you, oh,
i've given up and now i'm running to the hills, cause i've lost the thrill
stuck in a hole, i don't know what to do, oh
i try to numb and look for something new to feel, but there's nothing real, and now i'm

discombobulated
i kept my hand in the fire, and now i'm getting so tired of this, (i'm feeling jaded)
i guess i'll keep getting higher, cause now i know you're a liar 
and shit, i'm devastated
i'm stuck in my room alone, i wish you'd pick up the phone, 
i feel the patience dissipating and now,

the sparks gone, there's no song, you finally won 
it's not fun, i'm struggling, was it something i'd done?
i'm not strong, nothing inside, my heart you had robbed 
the songs of love that i had, don't mean a thing anymore 
x2

losing a pulse, i need to take a breath, oh 
feel a convulsion running through my chest again, haven't slept again 
drowning my paper in a pool of lead, oh
pull me around like i'm a marionette, again
do you remember when you and me would 

stay up late, we're singing 
you said that i misconstrued it, you didn't think when you threw it away, 
my head is ringing, 
and now i'm feeling so stupid, i wish i hadn't went through it 
but hey, i'll stick to drinking 
the bottles always my friend, i know i'm drowning again 
but it's better than remembering, now it's different because

the sparks gone, there's no song, you finally won 
it's not fun, i'm struggling, was it something i'd done?
i'm not strong, nothing inside, my heart you had robbed 
the songs of love that i had, don't mean a thing anymore 
x2

feresy

i luv u ollie @prod-oc

~ go stream and follow :)
https://soundcloud.com/prod-oc
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6e0A38lng3gwUehNIeSm3G?si=KfUOqAiPQFecENKjOq5EhA
_____

2 o'clock on the dot and I'm tired 
girl your burned my mind, my hand was in the fire for too long
wish the memories would retire, woah
now i'm calling out, because my souls still tied to yours, leave me alone 

help me,
i'm falling deep ,
oh can't you see,
that i'm a mess? oh,
save me,
i'm patiently
waiting because i'm in distress oh,
and i don't think i can go on anymore ,
leave me broken, know you see me lying on the floor, 
i'll beg and plea, for things to be
how they were but instead 
watch the love evanesce, yeah

watch it fade, now it's gone into nothing,
i sit awake and ponder if there was something i did wrong, 
where did we go?
most people grow,
i feel omitted, but i know,
that you and me weren't meant to be, and everything is out of my control

help me,
i'm falling deep ,
oh can't you see,
that i'm a mess oh,
save me,
i'm patiently,
waiting because i'm in distress oh,
and i don't think i can go on anymore ,
leave me broken, know you see me lying on the floor, 
i'll beg and plea, for things to be
how they were but instead 
watch the love evanesce, yeah

evanesce

now it's the end of the line :/
- the most massive thank you to @dezforman for helping me tell this story and to @bonddot for the mixing <3 love you guys fr

~ never been the type for confrontation 
i lost all my power, i can't even fake it
so complacent, no 
the way you worked your magic is so amazing 
i lost who i was, i got out of your gaze and now i'm saving me 
the odds had kept me from breathing 
i never tried to get even 
write about how i'm feeling 
to clear my mind, yeah im drawing the line 
stare at your likes and a view count 
all of our issues you drew out 
and i don't know what to do now
guess i gotta speak out 

i didn't mean to you love you 
i guess i kinda like the way that you would run to me 
i always hoped you come through
you kinda led me on and watched me drown in oceans deep
should have listened to all my friends 
cause you were using me for gain and i would play pretend, you were mine 
should have payed attention to the signs
now it's the end of the line 

thought about the night i left the station 
got off that train and left you all alone
oh how much did you grow?
the way you slipped back in, and got me again
i can't even shake you off
lost what i wanted, can't move all this weight, i failed in saving me 
is what we had really worth it?i
no need in tryna preserve it 
i know we're both probably hurting 
but it's easy sometimes, if you just drew the line 
fuck all the likes and the view counts
it's you and me that should figure it out 
and i don't know what to do now
guess i gotta stand my ground 

i didn't mean to you love you 
i guess i kinda like the way that you would run to me 
i always hoped you come through
you kinda led me on and watched me drown in oceans deep
should have listened to all my friends 
cause you were using me for gain and i would play pretend, you were mine 
should have payed attention to the signs
now it's the end of the line 

i didn't mean to love you 
in fact i never tried to 
but here we are, here we are ~

terminus

you're all i adore <33
out now on all platforms -> https://dbl.fanlink.to/adore

~ listened to fireflies like one hundred times,
it's been a week, and now you're staying the night 
don't wanna think about if we'd not collided,
i knew i would find it 
gave you a t-shirt that was stuffed in the drawer 
said you were mine, and than i said i was yours 
i heard it slip, that's how i know it was pure 
i think that i struck a chord 

my hearts been filled 
ain't used to that, i'm
head over heels
and i'm attached 
in love with how it feels 
i've got your back 
i know you don't need saving, but it goes without saying that

if anything's too big, you know i'm gonna help when i can 
my louis lane i've got no shame in being your superman 
gave me your heart and i'm keeping it in the palm of my hand 
so i don't care if i fall, hope you're where i land 
if anything's too much, i'll try to calm the coming of storms 
can't let you hurt, but i would walk right through the thick and the thorns 
gave me the key, and i know that we both won't open the door 
i'll take it slow, i hope you know, you're all i adore
oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore, oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore

bedsheets all messy, but i don't even care 
i'd stop the world, if i could just lay and stare 
at those hazel eyes, messy hair, what i'd give to 
spend forever with you
gave you a place to let your fears go to rest 
get it off yours, while you fall into my chest 
found the light, found my home, and im feeling so blessed 
there's nothing left to be said

my heart you stole 
it's yours to have, and
i feel so whole 
i'm so attached 
and girl you got my soul,
i've got your back 
i know you don't need saving, but it goes without saying that

if anything's too big, you know i'm gonna help when i can 
my louis lane i've got no shame in being your superman 
gave me your heart and i'm keeping it in the palm of my hand 
so i don't care if i fall, hope you're where i land 
if anything's too much, i'll try to calm the coming of storms 
can't let you hurt, but i would walk right through the thick and the thorns 
gave me the key, and i know that we both won't open the door 
i'll take it slow, i hope you know, you're all i adore 
oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore, oh, adore
oh yeah you're all i adore

adore

prod. @karimusicc and @okpooka
-------------

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in 

you know you really made a mess of me
had to stop before it gets too deep
should have tried to keep protecting me 
cause i never deserved you at all 
your energy is like ecstasy 
and i'm falling in it and it's helplessly 
all the problems coming at ya heavily
you deserve better, i could give you it all

so drunk, out here dancing to fleetwood, and you know you're bad 
keep playing how i thought my dreams would, and i'm not too mad 
i hope you see, i'd be the best thing that you ever had 
you ain't even gotta like me back, 
we saw what happened when i got attached

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in

stand down like a soldier
early in the morning, pour a cup like it was folgers 
i ran out of mud still threw a dirtball in my soda 
i hope i don't overdo it on my glow up shit, been feeling like chief sosa 
baby love to play with my heart, i make it too easy
took me for like everything that i got and then was outa here like wheezy
i can't help but complain at my spot, you don't do nothin to please me 
you could take like everything that i have, i know you so damn greedy
family gon trip bout my expenses
i aint never been no rich kid, i just always was finessin 
i done walked in the petting zoo, these goats match my resemblance 
shawty broke my heart so damn fast, you could say its impressive
(when tf im gon learn my lesson)

you keep coming over
so it makes it so much harder, but i really wanna get closer 
i would give you all i got, but i got no chance, girl you're gorgeous 
you don't see the same way i do, guess it's fine, i'll get sober, i told ya 
won't lose my composure
but i hate that things won't change, but it's for the best i control it 
oh its messing with my brain, i couldn't really help that i chose ya 
i don't mean to sound too lame, but i kinda think it's your aura, it's pulling me in

aura

aura (w. swazy*)

prod. @claudesdiary and @assperrr

--------

i took that photograph of us on the couch
said things were perfect, took the words from my mouth
we got too close and then you told me about 
all the guys in your mind, but i'm not one of them
told me come over, cause you miss when he's there
get lost and try to find my way through your stare
i’d give you everything you wanted, i swear 
worth a try? never mind, overstepping again 

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
fast asleep, do you think maybe there could be a glimpse?
i have dreams of hoping i could be him 
your namesake, walking over me again 
split between someone you love and a friend 
i'd let you know, but i'm worried that you and me would end

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my heart's yours to take 

girl i don't think these feelings'll ever change
but if i gotta i’d suppress it away 
so if you'd let me, i could be something great 
not a guy that'll lie, swear i'm not one of them 
love where we are, but we could be so much more 
i’d make you mine if you'd just open the door
i apologize, baby it's something i can't ignore 
over time, hope it's fine, and we'll keep being friends

slow down time, i wanna cherish it all 
hold the line, cause i still pray for your call 
sit outside, and watch the stars till we fall
i’d say it all but i'm worried that things wouldn't make sense

i tolerate the internal pain 
cause i love the way that you say my name 
my heart would break if i stopped the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, i can't quit the race 
we'll never change, if you felt the same 
cause i love the way that we'd sit and lay 
forget everything, i can't stop the chase 
cause you're worth it babe, my hearts your's to take

chase

chase (prod. claude & asperr)

prod. anem0s
-----------
i guess i'll give you some space, yeah
my head, oh it’s racing
got used to the chase and didn’t know what it was for 
i guess that i was mistaken, couldn’t tell you were faking 
can’t keep up with the pace, and now it feels like a chore
do you want me anymore? loves getting stale, and you’re bored
my body aches and i'm sore, need you, deep down in my core
need something else in my mind, can’t think to leave you behind
because when my heart's on the line you pull me back every time

try not to freak, i don’t think that we’ll last, feel the pressure,
and i'm feeling weak, i'm never turning my back
but i never think i’ll get closer, can’t breathe, keep my composure
we link, and then it's over, to think i’d get some closure from you
trying not to blink, cause you’re gone in a flash, but whatever,
and i'm gonna sink, never throw me a raft
but i never think that it’s over, i’ll drink, plea when i'm sober
you peak, keep going over emotion rollercoasters with you

this shit is over my head,
i'm getting sober, the mental anguish sanguine red i-
it'll take a little bit to get you out my head and slip away
so tie the tourniquet, the blood flow stops, i don't want to be drained
a final word, you left me broken and I don't want to lead astray
think that I'm the one to blame, think I'll never be the-
i'm not the same, since you left me in terrible weather
i sold my things, left my heart in the pocket of a sweater
i ain't no saint, i know I can do so much better
breaking up again, i think we're waking up as friends, i guess i'll

try not to freak, i don’t think that we’ll last, feel the pressure,
and i'm feeling weak, i'm never turning my back
but i never think i’ll get closer, can’t breathe, keep my composure
we link, and then it's over, to think i’d get some closure from you
trying not to blink, cause you’re gone in a flash, but whatever,
and i'm gonna sink, never throw me a raft
but i never think that it’s over, i’ll drink, plea when i'm sober
you peak, keep going over emotion rollercoasters with you

anderance

anderance (w. corefish)

~ don't mean to tether myself.. ~ 
prod. grayskies
-----
can't face reality 
didn't think i'd be affected by the gravity 
gotta try and break me free but it's not guaranteed
hold on to someone i don't know and yeah it's sad to see 
how'd you get attached to me?
yell through your stridency
but i don't think i could show you the bad side of me 
i guess i'll fray the ends and let go while i try to sleep
let go of someone i don't know, but now you're fighting me
try to find the irony 

i thought that i was saved 
a siren song, and i surrender to sound
you pulled me in, i caved 
and now i’m planted, stuck here in the ground 

don’t mean to tether myself
when you don’t need someone else 
yeah i’ve been going through hell, and i fell too hard
cause I’ve been rooted in you
i guess your feelings weren’t true 
i sat here watching you bloom, but i’m in the dark
cause things die before their time
but i can’t blossom into nothing when you’re stuck into mine
i dig myself when you look
i’m falling on tenderhooks,
don’t need me, wish that you would, cause i’m tearing apart

cause in reality, you’re the only thing keeping me here,
I just want to let you go, why won’t you let me disappear? 
because i’m holding on to someone I don’t know, 
do you love me like you say you do? 
cause there’s a part of me that I don’t want to show to you.
and I know it’s harder just to follow through, 
cause if I end up falling I don’t want you falling too
I’m tied to what you said, 
and I know that it don’t mean nothing to you
i’m tied down can’t get air, 
but I can’t leave cause it’ll let you down

don’t mean to tether myself
when you don’t need someone else 
yeah i’ve been going through hell, and i fell too hard
cause I’ve been rooted in you
i guess your feelings weren’t true 
i sat here watching you bloom, but i’m in the dark
cause things die before their time
but i can’t blossom into nothing when you’re stuck into mine
i dig myself when you look
i’m falling on tenderhooks,
don’t need me, wish that you would, cause i’m tearing apart

tenderhooks

tenderhooks (w. boygrim)

~ cause they need me.. ~
written, produced, and mixed by me <3
mastered by alisynn
-----
21, 
unemployed, and i'm bored of the life i live 
what more could i give?
hungers gone, 
out of songs, feel the dawn, and i just might quit 
feeling my head split 

they say keep going, you'll make it to the summit
but the numbers falling, was all in, feel the hurt in my stomach 
keep asking why i changed, i say that it's nothing 
mental steady plummets, need something, it's back home where the love is 

don't need statistics,
my hometown is what i'm missing 
they told me, i wouldn't listen,
the mirror obscured my vision 
zombies and ghosts bring the comfort 
i had to go, it's no wonder 
stuck in this hole, needing something
i'm going back, and i'm 
gonna drive, through the night 
when they see me, it's an easy fix 
and i might give a try,
cause they need me, in the 336

picture my life, at my 25 
i'm sitting on my couch, getting drunk and staying high,
it's difficult 
i try to say it's okay, but i don't ever mean it 
i fucking hate what i made, cause it don't feel appealing
everybody getting married, getting jobs,
nathan and matt and charles, man i miss em a lot 
i have faith, i swear i'm giving all that i got 
don't wanna stay here, and it's clear i got the freedom of thought 
gabe said keep going, you'll make it to the stations 
losing concentration, embrace it 
there's no need to be racing 
nostalgia hits me, i just don't like the hatred 
but the thoughts invading, exclaiming 
that my town is amazing, it's shaping me 

don't need statistics,
my hometown is what i'm missing 
they told me, i wouldn't listen,
the mirror obscured my vision 
zombies and ghosts bring the comfort 
i had to go, it's no wonder 
stuck in this hole, needing something
i'm going back, and i'm 
gonna drive, through the night 
when they see me, it's an easy fix 
and i might give a try,
cause they need me, in the 336

dolorem obscura

heartmoor (hometown II)

guitar and lyrics by me <3
additional prod. + trumpet by @dramatrial
~

i'll take all the steel that i left in my bag 
but nothing feels real so i'll take a step back 
and i'll build me a rocket and fly far away 
but no one's impressed, i've got nothing to say 
i left for the evening, and hoped for the best 
but everything's heavy, this weight on my chest 
yeah it's holding me down and i can't lift it up
now everyone's off and i feel like i'm stuck on the moon

ad astra

prod. me :))
~
tried writing songs from the heart, 
my brain tears me apart
keep singing straight through the dark 
hit a wall
no ounce of vodka would start 
what i used to call a spark
i feel it dwindle, it's dark
where's my heart?

lost in vastness
swear i thought i could pass this 
losing touch from the masses 
it's true 
write a draft, ain't enough 
toss in the trash, can't give up 
fight till my last breath, with you 
i swear it keeps preying on me 
i know it's easy to see that 
i'm cut at the seams, it's getting hard to breathe 
i'm grinding my teeth
the papers dripping with ink
i fall down to my knees
i'd  give in, spare me please 

feels like i'm sinking in doubt 
from what i'm writing about
i feel small, my heads getting clouded 
hit a brick wall, but i won't allow it 
the same old is burning me out 
my heads in a creative drought 
i might just need a catalyst 
because my writings in paralysis 

it's been ten years, and i've been trying to say it different 
can't shift gears, and i've been trying to be consistent 
i'm right here, you can tell by my disposition 
but i still write, then i cross lines, cause it's repetition 
a ghostly apparition, im missing the recognition,
i'm not being pessimistic, im tired of being persistent 
i know that i'd be remissed if i packed it all up and quit 
but i won't let the feeling win, this the strongest I've ever been 

i swear it hurts me to write 
i know it's easy to spite but
i'm cut at the sides, it's getting hard to try
i cant sleep at night 
the papers staring inside 
i fall down, guess it's time 
i just can't make up my mind

feels like i'm sinking in doubt 
from what i'm writing about
i feel small, my heads getting clouded 
hit a brick wall, but i won't allow it 
the same old is burning me out 
my heads in a creative drought
i might just need a catalyst 
because my writings in paralysis

paralysis

~ hear my grieving voice.. ~
-

Feel like I'm in Arctic Heights
The pain is measured by scales of Fahrenheit 
It dropped tonight, you vanished out of sight 
I'm standing, wrapped in ice 
My limbs restrained, I'm not alright 

Resplendent stares and auburn hair
I'm on the ground and you don't care 
You walked away and left me there
I don't know god, but I'm in prayer 
I wish that we had never met 
'Cause you're by far the worst one yet 
It's getting cold, you pulled the threads 
And now I'm frozen left for dead 

Solidify, I'm ostracized
Can't stand your frigid bite 
There's often times I'm tossed aside 
But this one's immortalized 
I'm stuck in ice, it's fortified
I might freeze to death, it's fine 
Oh, hear my grieving voice, you took me to the freezing point

Stuck in colder weather 
Hoping that things will end up better 
I can't walk away, you got me tethered
I am the vessel, you're the possessor 
I am the outburst, you're the repressor
Got me forever
I can't alleviate all the pressure 
You know I really hate learning lessons
But if you're done then baby, it's whatever 
Just promise you'll thaw me out, waters pouring out
Can you hear me now?

Solidify, I'm ostracized
Can't stand your frigid bite 
There's often times I'm tossed aside 
But this one's immortalized 
I'm stuck in ice, it's fortified
I might freeze to death, it's fine 
Oh, hear my grieving voice, you took me to the freezing point
Solidify, I'm ostracized
Can't stand your frigid bite 
There's often times I'm tossed aside 
But this one's immortalized 
I'm stuck in ice, it's fortified
I might freeze to death, it's fine 
Oh, hear my grieving voice, you took me to the freezing point

borderline

freezing point

~ i did it all to myself :/ ~

-
Eager to be
The one you would come to
But you're not for me
'Cause he's who you run to
The second the ink hit my skin it was real
But that memory's tainted
I'm struggling to feel some remorse
'Cause what you did was torture me

All of my friends
Are seeing that I've lost it again
I'm stuck in a predicament, 'cause I really loved her
I kept putting us first
But I did it all to myself
I know I said
You're someone I wouldn't forget
I can't cause now you're on my skin
Does love not recover? I'd go get it covered
I'd much rather live with the clutter
With the clutter

Does my sweater keep you warm
'Cause I've been cold from memories old that we can't reform
I've lost the trust, just watch the dust take delicate forms
Now you're caught in the storm
You went to something evil from someone that I adored
The flowers uprooted, do I misconstrue it
And you put me through it, but I would still do it again
But you'd keep on playing pretend, it's the end
Think the lens needs a cleanse

Because all of my friends
Are seeing that I've lost it again
I'm stuck in a predicament, 'cause I really loved her
I kept putting us first
'Cause I did it all to myself
I know I said
You're someone I wouldn't forget
I can't cause now you're on my skin
Does love not recover? I'd go get it covered
I'd much rather live with the clutter
Live with the clutter
Live with the clutter
I'll live with the clutter

clutter

~ i couldn't stand it... ~
produced by me <3

-
How could it be
Was everything you said to me make-believe
You said you wanted me on your anniversary 
He doesn't know about the thing that we said we'd be 
'Cause I never had tenancy
You worshipped me 
I've never had someone that would say those things 
The love was there, don't act like you weren't as deep as me 
It's getting tiring, yanking roots that are gripping me 
All the hurt that you're giving me 

You're the setup, I'm the punchline
You were someone, I was "sometimes"
I was boundless, you were the confines 
I think it's time I get up and go 

'Cause now my bed's so cold, and I'm all alone 
Thought I'd found my home, now I just don't know 
The chemicals, I don't feel withdrawals 
It's hard to watch you pull away when I give my all
'Cause now my texts go green, and I'm left on seen
And the disbelief is consuming me 
The dopamine, it was just routine
 I couldn't stand to keep on being in the in-between
The in-between, the in-between

Everything you say is confidential
'Cause you got a man, girl that's essential 
Tell me if you think there's no potential 
'Cause tryna get away is consequential 
Tell me if it's worth it to preserve it 
Oh, I'm tired of the hurting, don't deserve it 
It's a little bit unnerving but I'm searching 
For a way to make it right, but it isn't working 
Do you find it makes it easy when it's just through a phone 
Weaving lies to tell your boyfriend, makes me feel like a joke 
Now I'm high most every day, my mental's in the unknown 
Wish you'd be mine, but you'll just leave me alone

'Cause now my bed's so cold, and I'm all alone 
Thought I'd found my home, now I just don't know 
The chemicals, I don't feel withdrawals 
It's hard to watch you pull away when I give my all
'Cause now my texts go green, and I'm left on seen
And the disbelief is consuming me 
The dopamine, it was just routine
 I couldn't stand to keep on being in the in-between
The in-between, the in-between
The in-between, the in-between

in-between

~ stuck forever borderline ~
prod. by me <3
additional prod. (trumpet) by @dramatrial

-
I can't wake up to alarms 
I shake my legs, an anxious mess, and draw shit on my arms
My mental's covered in scars 
My life's a wreck and I project it from my heart

As unstable, impulsive, intense it gets 
I'm unable to stop fearing abandonment
Am I able to change my ways or how I live? 
'Cause uncertainty's creeping up on me again

I'm the opposite of fortified 
I push away, then let you stay the night
I say I'm sober, I'm still getting high 
In a former life, the order's right
But I'm stuck forever borderline, borderline

My mind is racing along 
A million miles, it's been a while, my inhibition's gone
It gets too hard to respond 
I might as well be embalmed
Emotions on a swing, I'm spiraling, I'm too closed off

As aggressive, repressive, uptight I am 
I'm unable to stop trying to give a damn
And this feeling's been stuck inside my diaphragm 
'Cause uncertainty's creeping up on me again

I'm the opposite of fortified 
I push away, then let you stay the night
I say I'm sober, I'm still getting high 
In a former life, the order's right
But I'm stuck on the borderline 
I'm the opposite of fortified
I push away, then let you stay the night 
I say I'm sober, I'm still getting high
In a former life, the order's right 

But I'm stuck forever borderline, borderline
Stuck forever borderline, borderline 
Borderline
Stuck, oh on the borderline
Stuck forever borderline, oh
Borderline, borderline
Stuck forever borderline, borderline

~ why'd u eclipse my sun? ~
prod: 111robloxdude (@insertsonghere)

-
Fall in you, hit the ground, hear me out
Call my name when in doubt, I'm around
But you don't seem like yourself anyhow
Anyhow
You've been gone, so I keep taking downs
Head will spin, sad again, disavowed
It's hard to write when you find every word that I want to hear

But do you find that peace of mind with some other guy?
How redundant am I?
Oh, why can't my life be so perfect and nice?
Heart broke too many times without even going outside
I try to

Sober up, and don't point fault
It's not like you don't care at all
But things are tough, and I'm just too far and he's exactly where you are
I can't save face, it's getting tough
To watch you choose where you give the love
You gave me light, but now it's gone
Why'd you eclipse my sun?

Take a breath, tear me down, take a bow
Show is done, watch you run, see you ‘round
Don’t have a choice, can't avoid all the things that we would talk about
I kept on hearing you out
Now I’m stuck in between what you wanted from me
And what I want to be, oh I thought you would leave
The choice that you made, it was wrong I’m afraid
Now there's nothing to get me to stay

'Cause I watched you cry when I said goodbye
I can't sleep at night, how unwanted am I?
Oh, why can't this time be so perfect and nice?
Heart broke too many times, but I guess that it's just my design
I'm struggling, my spirit will plummet, I’ll

Sober up, and don't point fault
It's not like you don't care at all
But things are tough, and I'm just too far and he's exactly where you are
I can't save face, it's getting tough
To watch you choose where you give the love
You gave me light, but now it's gone
Why'd you eclipse my sun?

eclipse

~ while seratonin comes in waves... ~
-

Love goes two ways, oh it can bring me to life
Two seconds later, cut me deep like a knife
That's just what happens in the state of my mind 
And i'm so tired of putting up a fight
Gave one too many tries
My thoughts are rushing and my heart's in a daze
My bones are shaking and my heads in a haze 
With arms wide open and infernos ablaze 
I just forget, and i keep stoking that flame 

Giving honesty,
It's probably something in the way I fall too deep
Or how I zone out every time they talk to me 
I'm split in two 
'Cause there's a part of me 
That's gonna try to have a little modesty 
I got a couple irredeemable qualities 
But hey what's new, it's just my field of view 

The pain, i just can't regulate 
My left side brain will give and take 
My mood will swing, goodbyes will sting
It messes with my self esteem
Impulsive thoughts will rear their way 
Right to my lips, that i won't say 
While serotonin comes in waves 
Dejection alway stays

I always thought that I was rooted in you
The other day, you said beside of me is all that you knew
You'll ebb and I flow, we'll grow as we go, I'm confused
I don't know why all of a sudden, you don't need me to bloom
The distance is causing a friction 
I thought at 22, that it'd be out of my system 
Forget the plane and the trip, the fall and the kiss, 
The first time's was enough, I can't keep waiting for this 
You're unstable, and I'm unable
To give you what you need, and it's all out on the table 
The love that i can give it comes from stories and fables
But you're too pessimistic, focusing on the labels
I really hope that you can find what you need 
Because i'm finding that without you, it gets harder to breathe 
It's an emotion rollercoaster, hope that you find the piece
Because the one that you'll be missing is me

The pain, i just can't regulate 
My left side brain will give and take 
My mood will swing, goodbyes will sting
It messes with my self esteem
Impulsive thoughts will rear their way 
Right to my lips, that i won't say 
While serotonin comes in waves 
Dejection alway stays

dejection

"cause love dwells where it's synergetic"

produced by @dylanlongworth, @glitch-gum, and @callmejish
additional writing + vox by @azaleabettigole
mixed by @callmejish
-

All my exes tend to lean nomadic
And leave a text beyond melodramatic
Obsessed with status
Reinstate old habits
While I’m stuck here listening to the static
(I’m stuck here listening to the-)
Show proficiency in misdirection
Ignore the red flags, alter my perception
Why do I miss you
Knowing I was misused? But it’s alright
‘Caused you looked fine last time i checked in

It’s a condescending, never-ending lie
With consequences unsequential 
Will I stop pretending everything is going fine 
When the martyr dies, I hope I find the answer 
Wishing I could make it happen faster 
Knowing by the end, I never make you mine 
‘Cause it takes two to fight 

I fear your loving is trepidatious
I’m here, but baby i've been so anxious 
It makes no sense, but it's absolute 
Can't stay as friends, leave me in solitude 
Gave a little, i watched you restrain it 
Start to wonder if i can attain it
Can't help but be apathetic 
‘Cause love dwells where it's synergetic 

Baby why do I miss you
I’ve been dying to kiss you
I know was so misused
But baby I was the issue
No, I take it back, take it back
‘Cause you don’t listen
We can’t bring it back, bring it back to the beginning
You were always in the right to you
Who gave the right to you
I had to stop myself from changing things in spite of you
I used to fight for you
But now you fight the truth
It’s hard to talk about it
I don’t wanna lie to you
And all my exes have this thing in common
They watch me lose myself like, far too often
But something tells me that I’ll find it standing at the altar
But now I know you’re not a prophet
And I’m not a goner

I fear your loving is trepidatious
I’m here, but baby i've been so anxious 
It makes no sense, but it's absolute 
Can't stay as friends, leave me in solitude 
Gave a little, i watched you restrain it 
Start to wonder if i can attain it
Can't help but be apathetic 
‘Cause love dwells where it's synergetic 
I fear your loving is trepidatious
I’m here, but baby i've been so anxious 
It makes no sense, but it's absolute 
Can't stay as friends, leave me in solitude 
Gave a little, i watched you restrain it 
Start to wonder if i can attain it
Can't help but be apathetic 
‘Cause love dwells where it's synergetic

synergy (feat. Glitch Gum)

synergy (w/ Glitch Gum)

my full set from the url-fest "Mount Hyperpop" <3

-
eclipse (from the EP 'borderline")
*1500M Checkpoint
heartmoor (hometown II)
amoransia
ping
dead star 
hearsay (unreleased demo)
*3000M (Summit)
synergy (unreleased demo)

dylan longworth - a mount hyperpop url set

made for Goop House - Volume 9 <333

~ Dylan Longworth ~
(Dancing with this dread
I can't shake the paranoia
Spin me 'round again
My hands break
I can't avoid it-)

~ ianboy ~
Yeah I'm moving so fast, it's a bother
You can't keep up, it's getting hotter
Need a dopamine rush to work harder
Make it go farther
I'll promenade away from you
And cry ‘cause you feel it too
Dancing ‘round the self abuse
And I'm scared of what I'm feeling 'cause I’m 

~ Glitch Gum ~
Pacing the floor for an hour before you could enter
Trying my best to retain all the steps I remember
Heart skips a beat like it’s doing a waltz
I'll take your lead whether it's true or false
Catch me with a catch-all
You break me before you break my fall

~ Dylan Longworth ~
Dancing with this dread
I can't shake the paranoia
Spin me 'round again 
My hands break, I can't avoid it
Routines in my head 
In two steps, I’m turning red 
Can't keep living in this distress
It’s a mental arabesque 
(It’s a mental arabesque 
It’s a mental arabesque)

~ stecker ~
Head spinning in pirouettes in the night time
Someone give me the steps to get it right
I’ll meet you halfway, I’m terrified
I’ll try to lead but I can’t look you in the eye
I’m dancing with this dread
But I’ve got two left feet, I’m sorry
I’m so DOA if I’m not dancing with somebody

~ Dylan Longworth ~
I lack grace, I can't seem to syncopate 
A chassé that’s passé, went the wrong way 
I might break, I’m stuck in a variation of this downward lunge 
And I plié but wont break
Take a leap, grand jeté
Relevé ’til the weight is unrestrained 
Arabesque, pirouette
I’m not giving up yet, it's a wreck
Like an abstract ballet, I’m 

Dancing with this dread
I can't shake the paranoia
Spin me 'round again 
My hands break, I can't avoid it
Routines in my head 
In two steps, I’m turning red 
Can't keep living in this distress
It’s a mental arabesque 

(Dancing with this dread
I can't shake the paranoia
Spin me 'round again 
My hands break, I can't avoid it
Routines in my head 
In two steps, I’m turning red 
Can't keep living in this distress
It’s a mental arabesque)

arabesque (feat. ianboy, Glitch Gum, and stecker)

arabesque (w/ ianboy, Glitch Gum, & stecker)

arabesque

arabesque (feat. ianboy, Glitch Gum & stecker)

Produced and mastered by @prxdjay
Co-Production and lyrics by Dylan Longworth

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/dylanlongworth1/haunted
@dylanlongworth

Lyrics:
I hear the sounds of your breathing,
Up late at night, I ain’t sleeping, no
I saw your ghost in the mirror
Back in my life you’ve been creeping
I’ve been trying to find an escape 
But up in my head you’ve been tryna invade, yeah
Now baby, my heart it ain’t beating 
I can’t control all the nightmares 
I turn around and you’re right there
I saw your ghost in the shadows
Swear that you’ve taken my life there 
I’ve been tryna find a way out 
Cause this ain’t the way that I thought it’d play out, yeah
Your touch is as cold as the night air

Send shivers down my spine, every time you say goodbye 
Just a spirit in the night, out of view 
Feeling things I never wanted, tried to break but now I’m bonded
I can’t help but feel so haunted by you

So haunted by you

Demons they haunt and surround me
Thought I escaped but you found me 
Darkness divine, walk beside me
Don’t let me stray from the light please
You know that I’m trying to escape
But since you’ve been here, oh I’ve been so afraid 
You could’ve picked any, but why me?

Send shivers down my spine, every time you say goodbye
Just a shadow in the night, out of view 
Feeling things I never wanted, tried to break but now I’m bonded
I can’t help but feel so haunted by you

So haunted by you

The ghosts of my exes they cry, "Oh"
'Cause they know that it's their time to go
The ghosts of my exes they cry, "Oh"
'Cause they know that it's their time to go

Dylan Longworth

Pinned to spotlight

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