walang rason
para bumangon
dahil alam kong
walang magbabago.
bakit ba paulit-ulit lang?
wala namang kahulugan.

bakit pa
ako nagsusulat
pati kumakanta?
may silbi pa ba?
naghahanap ng kahulugan,
kahit na kunwari lang.

hanap ng
magagawa.
sana merong
halaga.

at bakit ba (at bakit ba)
palaging bakit ang (bakit ang)
tinatanong ko pag (tinatanong)
may hindi ako alam? (hindi alam)
nakakapagtaka.

naghahanap ng kahulugan.
wala namang kahulugan.
naghahanap ng kahulugan.
wala namang kahulugan.

naghahanap ng kahulugan demo

i am so afraid to put myself out there and be heard.
when i put into words what i think and how i feel, i risk being hurt.
im not proud of myself so i dont want you to see.
i can show you only funny pleasant parts of me.

i've lied too much and lost what i had before.
i don't know who i am anymore.

i am so afraid to put myself out there in the world.
i already seem to have lost all of my self-worth.
hid behind a veil of arrogance is inferiority.
hurting those i care for due to insecurity.

i wear
a coat
of shame and guilt.

i've built  
up a wall
of all of my fears.

keep the windows closed, the curtains up, the light can't reach.
dont look, i feel exposed, i cant open up, im still so weak.
and i've made mistakes that i can't make up for.
i regret those days, i dont want to spread hurt anymore.

big ego small guy / coat of shame and guilt demo

kahapon,
tumila ang ambon.
at ngayon,
may panibagong pagkakataon.

at bakit ba
andaming "bakit?" na
bumubula kapag nagtataka?
tigilan ang
paghahanap ng kahulugan
gamit ang pangangatwiran.

ang umaga'y
ibinubunyag
ang lihim ng
kanyang liwanag.

wag ka nang magtaka pa
kung ika'y nalilito
ang mismong pagtataka'ng
nanlilito sa'yo.

sino ka?
tao kang
sinuka
ng lupa.

naghahanap ng kahulugan,
kaya hindi matagpuan.
nasayo na ang kahulugan,
sa loob ng isip at ng katawan.
naghahanap ng kahulugan,
kaya hindi matagpuan.
nasayo na ang kahulugan,
bilang ibig at karanasan.

nasa'yo ang kahulugan demo

haunting experimental track created as background music for a web series by Patrick Knowles

samples used:
Aaron Kenny - Black Cat
Kevin McLeod - Night on the Docks

Witching Hour

Curious and creepy experimental beat created as background music for a web series about getting stuck on the internet by Patrick Knowles.

Hunting for Ghosts

Bolo's World - Contradictions (demo)

short backing track for a client's short vlog about finding herself in Kauai

Falls

Feel good track for a client's video of her trip to Kauai

Kauai

i made a thing lol
-

stop the play, the poet is dead.
you’re dancing alone inside my head.
go away. please
don’t go away.

you live with the words that go in my ears,
you’re in the whines which my loneliness hears.
maybe i’m going
out into my mind.

when will it stop?
when will it stop?
do we still pretend?
are we still pretending? 

when you’re quiet, I know you’re not well.
i don’t have any secrets that i may need to tell.
maybe you’re the one
keeping things away.

one morning I woke up and checked the clock, then
it’s little arms told me that it was 8 AM.
funny how
you’re always there.
you’ve always been there.

8 am

Gears Turning Beat 1 Min

parang nabaduyan na ako sa kantang 'to for some reason but I'll make it public anyway lol
~~
inconsistencies abound;
its plasticity makes it sound.

in aromatic sweetness dressed,
hiding our morning breath.
she tells you, "it's okay, it's just a little bit of a bother."
he's screaming, "kill her, kill her, kill her," 
and now she's gone.

the winner never had the gun.
it's always just floating in space.

the loser's the one who won.
it ended with a bullet in his face.

he tells you, "it's okay, it'll pass, I promise you this'll last"
she believes him too fast and now he's gone.

lightning struck me once
and I will never be the same.

call me anything you want because
you don't even remember my name.

they asked me, "what? why? oh my, the idea never even passed us by."
"everything's just fine," I lied, and I lied, and I lied.

she's gone.

I did nothing wrong.
I did nothing at all.
I--

21st century criminals

just another song to add to your collection

image is from breaking bad s02e04
--
only i can make my misery appear and only i can make it go away.
i need to completely disappear.
the sooner that i get out of this place, the better.

every night, i wake up to the sound of crashing waves
violently weathering all the walls away piece by piece.
please don't leave me alone anymore,
and i'll leave you a casket full of
all your wasted hours.

im still stuck behind
and there's no way im catching up.
don't say your goodbyes,
it's a waste of breath.
don't even make a sound.
my ears are ringing as it is,
and im tired of hearing about
all this death.

every night, i wake up to the sound of crashing waves
violently weathering all the walls away piece by piece.
please don't leave me alone anymore,
and i'll leave you a casket full of
all your wasted hours.

im already past it, im just trying to shut the doors.

stuck behind

empty your pockets, keep me inside.
let down your sails and go with the tide.
where am i off to? i don't have a clue.
caught in a whirlpool, drowning in the blue.

i'm so out of touch, out of love.
everything came undone.
now i'm stuck inside the sea, and
i'm floating where i don't want to be.
--
screencapped from hunter x hunter (1999) ep18

distant

bak 2 skool

originals / commissions / whatever projects dump

emilio

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