Three days ago, an epic finals day at the Surf Ranch Pro, won not unexpectedly by Filipe Toledo, was overshadowed by a “shockingly naughty, extremely explicit hot microphone controversy”, unidentified men blasting the event with their full sexual force.

Any hole, any pit, the souped-up pent-up voltage of cocks ready to spring!

The sound, faint, muffled, hidden further by background noise, featured a behind-the-scenes locker-room conversation revolving around various sexual adventures, artificial phalluses absent sadly, although when one man conjures up the apparition of a monster (digital exploration administered woman to man) there is much panic. 

“I’m horny, you’re horny… Open your mouth…ass play… suck your dick… stick a finger in…oh no!”

Etc.

Enhanced Audio: Explicit hot mic conversation captured during Surf Ranch Pro!

Remember Michael Kocher, the guy wrote a few pieces for your beloved BeachGrit somewhere around a year ago?
He talked about being a marine, quitting surfing to sell heroin and his struggle with terminal cancer. We linked to his GoFundMe account and some of you donated cash to help him with bills. I didn't, couldn't see the point of helping a dying man avoid debt. Hardly a problem, is it?
So, anyway, yeah, it was all bullshit. Kocher is a cunning junkie, used everyone's inherent decency to play the “I'm dying” card, and soaked people for some cash he could spend on his habit. 
I called Kocher, currently hiding out in a hotel somewhere in Colorado, to ask him just exactly what the fuck he was thinking. Fun conversation, for all his supposed contrition it was just more narcissistic bobbing and weaving. Always trying to deflect blame, reframe the narrative. – Rory Parker. 


Contributor bamboozles BeachGrit with fake cancer fund

The noted surfboard designer and owner of Lost Surfboards, Matt "Mayhem" Biolos on why making high-performance boards is the "hardest thing in the surf industry." Anyone can make "beautiful, colourful, sassy" boards, say Biolos, but very few can shape at a level capable of satisfying the world's best surfers. 

Matt Biolos on why the high-performance board is the most elevated form of the shaper's craft!

The noted writer and broadcaster Rory Parker's series of interviews taken in his Kauai studio. The second installment brings us Brandon Campbell, better known to the world as Laserwolf. He's a rare breed, a high-talent surfer who built a thriving surf photography career in an astonishingly short period of time. Laserwolf lives year-round on the Seven Mile Miracle. He plays with classic cars, charges huge waves, lives a life the likes of which most can only dream. We chatted about growing up in Florida, being a single father, his rather speedy rise to success, the importance of the hustle, good branding, the necessity of a strong social media presence, North Shore cults, French Bulldogs, politics, and loads of other fascinating things.


Podcast: "Everything is Always Terrible!" Episode Two.

The wonderfully entertaining Christian Fletcher interviewed by BeachGrit writer Michael Ciaramella on the topic of whether it's kosher to play hardball with mouthy grommets in the surf. A debate that also asks: who's to blame for the absurdity of participation medals and which generation is worse, Christian's (who is 45) or Michael's (23).

Christian Fletcher on Child Abuse!

HUNGRY HEART - Vaughan Dead & Pauly B

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT - Vaughan Dead & Pauly B

BECAUSE THE NIGHT - Mylee Grace & Pauly B

Ain't this a case of a noble underdog being slurred by dumb, fair-weather surf fans. For those who came in late, Gabriel Medina, chasing a world title, with the ability to wrap it at the penultimate event of the year and easily winning his heat against Caio Ibelli, got sloppy and caused a paddling interference. Out of the event. Title goes to Pipe. Medina's three mill IG fans, along with buddy Neymar's 27 mill, were worked into a fury and carpet bombed Caio with "thousands and thousands and thousands" of unpleasant messages. In this phone call with the Australian journalist Anthony Pancia, Caio talks about the incident and the response.

Caio Ibelli Responds To Online Threats

Beachgrit.com is the surf page of the noted writers Charlie Smith and Rory Parker, and editor Derek Rielly.

BeachGrit

Popular tracks