Theme for OC rewatch pod that Carl Tart is not making

Steve Sachs x Eastman Presser - The Wrong One

Lyrics:

Let’s get on the same page
This is Steve Sachs with a new song
I’mma start by asking Carl and Hayes
A question bout the Clem dog:
Yo, what’s up with your best friend?
He’s the weak link of the flagrant ones believe it
He hears a couple new singers
And then he starts confusing Steve with Steven
Sean: 
What happened to your ears boy
You follow me on twitter since last year boy
Yeah
Turns out you’re a fake fan all along
Prolly couldn’t name 5 of my songs
I’m Steve Sachs not Steven Shaw
To my real fans, I hear ya’ll 
Across the Flagrant Nation
Me and Eastman back to work
Had to protect our reputation
Sean just clearly wanted more than parasocial type relations
So he acted like a stan but he was faking
Goodness gracious

With a couple minutes left until the episode was done
Sean decided he would talk some shit to make my ass look dumb
And as much as he’s to blame for what this song has just become
Between Andy, Carl, and Hayes
Tell me why’d nobody say

You’ve got the wrong one

Two white Steves and we both do raps
Could be Shaw or it could be Sachs
Can’t believe Sean went and mixed that shit
Time’s running out better fix that shit

Steve Sachs x Eastman Presser - The Wrong One

Carl's Booty Itches

Names (The Players Song)

my remix of 2018's "closin' up the plug bag" theme

Time To Open The Bag

Bone Queef (for Zeke Nicholson)

Hollywood Handbook Pro Version After Dark (remix)

This, I imagine, is what happens in Gino's head when he attempts to remember and recite the stops of the Babylon line of the LIRR, Jamaica to Babylon (and back again).

Gino remembers the LIRR stops (for Jon Gabrus)

Theme song for the Comedy Bang Bang character MC Sugarbutt

MC Sugarbutt(for Carl Tart)

Mother's Milk (CBB Catchphrase setting) (for Call Waiting for Godot)

The Flagrant Ones Theme

Spitting Hot Fire For Carl Tart

Michael Hartigan and I worked together to make this remix to the closing up the plug bag theme for 2019.

Here's Michael's Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/hartiganmusic

Close Your Eyes and Open the Bag (with Michael Hartigan)

Maximum Stank (for Carl Tart)

Flagrant FYE

A Very Stanky Phone Call

A Stanky Night At Home

Grey King Theme

The Stank Is Back

Ya’ll know me, still Easty P, but I been low key.
The Hayes man went and called me out so you know I had to come and bring the heat
While it may not seem like an important feat I made the beat, no karaoke.
And ya’ll mad at me just cuz you haven’t had a new Eastman Presser joint in a couple weeks?

Lately it’s all Ian Garwood and Steve Sachs.
Let me say something 'bout their tracks: they slap,
but they just ain’t as good as the OG.
Did ya’ll really think that you was better than me? 
King please.
Who did the plug bag theme for CBB?
Who gave The Flagrant Ones that trap beat?
and the Stank Saga trilogy?
(("Rey de Gris, send Twenty-One to I.C.E."))
While you were downloading Audacity, I was remixing Mr Mistoffelees.

I love the tracks that other listeners make so I don’t mean to disparage.
But let’s talk about devotion, this podcast ruined my marriage.
Ya’ll better listen up closely, this stank don’t come easy
I suck teaux, I chew straws, I lay wood, I shoot threes.
Ya’ll ain’t got bars hard like these
and it’s cuz you soft, Albanese.

Now days everybody making songs cuz they want something to play
but i don’t smell nothing when i hear the tracks, let’s rewind it back
all these listeners act like they forgot about stank.

Forgot About Stank

Lyrics:

I said I really can’t believe
You think you could step to me
I make that net go swooshy
When I play H-O-R-S-E

Yeah, i always make that net go swooshy
Sinking buckets watch em drop make that net go swooshy
Hitting every single shot make that net go swooshy

In a game of HORSE, I got a million weapons
I go by Steve, but I shoot like Stephen
Hit this jumper right in your face
There you go, now you got an H
I’m on top, you got a letter
You beat me? I ain’t gon’ let you
Top of the key, closing my eyes
My jumper is wet, so I let it fly
This is for O, and I don’t miss
Nothing but net, when it goes in
So you gotta swish that lil' dangly thing that’s swinging right under the rim
But you hit a bank, that don’t count
Now you got a O, go get your rebound
Two letters down, three more to go
I’ll spell it out, right now you’re a HO

For the R, I'm gonna take shots, half court bank shots
Take another letter boy, you can’t make shots
H-O-R, you’re giving me a smirk
But I don’t make joke, I respect sex work
Time for S, you got no chance
I go granny shot, shoot it under hand  
Ok it’s your turn, it’s an air ball
H-O-R-S, is it fair? nah
Big E that’s the last letter
Your tears are wet but my shot is wetter
Your put it up, and the rim clangs
Cuz you threw up a brick so I call game

Yeah, i always make that net go swooshy
Sinking buckets watch em drop make that net go swooshy
Hitting every single shot make that net go swooshy
From the elbow to the block make that net go swooshy
Every time I shoot the rock make that net go swooshy
I'm talkin' chuhh, chuhh, chuhh, make that net go swooshy
I’ll make it rain and never stop, make that net go swooshy

Steve Sachs - NGS (feat. Ian Garwood)(Prod. by Eastman Presser)

When they lost Game 5 to the team I love I was like
I was like, “Bucks lose!”
I guess to beat Jimmy Buckets, Matthews wasn’t enough
I was like, “Bucks lose!” Yeah, their season’s through
And if Giannis was in
Maybe they would be winning
They’d have a championship
(a championship)
They should’ve come out ahead
But the Bucks shit the bed
I said, “Bucks lose!”

We all know that by tomorrow
We’ll see Giannis talking to the Heat
The Bucks want to keep him, but he’s gonna leave em
Cuz you know that supermax ain't cheap

I pity the fool who think they’ll sign the dude
(Bucks fans should know better,
He wants a ring, he's gonna go and get it)
I've got some news for you
(Yeah, go run and tell Owen Ellickson)

When they lost Game 5 to the team I love I was like
I was like, “Bucks lose!”
Middleton hit from downtown but it wasn’t enough
I was like, “Bucks lose!” Yeah, their season’s through
And if Giannis was in
Maybe they would be winning
They’d have a championship
(a championship)
They should’ve come out ahead
But the Bucks shit the bed
I said, “Bucks lose!”

Bucks Lose - Steve Sachs x Eastman Presser

King James Trilogy, Movement Three: Lebron Has Hair

Lyrics:

Well, it was year seventeen
And you know who I mean
Is it coincidence
Or a scandal beyond compare?

His head should be bald as a melon
How’d LeBron grow back his hair?

Are we sure that’s really him
And not a clone or his evil twin?
Or just a lookalike
With a low post game like his?

Is the man we’re watching play a body double?
How’d LeBron grow back his hair?

We deserve the truth
How’s this old ass dude
Have his hairline from year nine

King James I’m talking to you
You’ve got one last chance to prove
You’re not a child on the shoulders
Of a different, stronger child

Since there’s no known cure for alopecia 
How’d LeBron grow back his hair?

We deserve the truth
How’s this old ass dude
Have his hairline from year nine

Well, it was year seventeen
And you know who I mean
Is it coincidence
Or a scandal beyond compare?

Is the secret to his youth inside the bubble?
How’d LeBron grew back his hair?

Steve Sachs & Eastman Presser - The King James Trilogy, Movement Three: Lebron Has Hair

Steve Sachs & Eastman Presser

'Big Face Coffee'

If you're all out of energy, and you're feeling beat
If back to back playoff victories left you feeling weak 
Get some cash, grab a mug, and come on down
We will fix you a cup
Just get some cash, grab a mug, and come on down

We can make you a cappuccino with milk that's steamed
Oat milk for vegans instead of cream
We'll fix you a cup
Just get some cash, grab a mug, and come on down

Cuz here at Big Face Coffee we've got just the thing for you
From decaf drip to latte art
And here at Big Face Coffee we even serve cold brew
All you need to do is head down to his room

Coffee beans from Jimmy Butler
Caffeine for purchase at 20 dollars a cup
Come on down and get your buzz
We will fix you a cup
Any size, just 20 bucks

Steve Sachs & Eastman Presser - Big Face Coffee

Steve Sachs x Eastman Presser - White Mamba

lyrics:

Brian Scalabrine, White Mamba
Came up in the streets of Enumclaw
Became the greatest on the Celtics whole roster
If the game is on the line give him the ball
I remember watching him on TV
He deserved the Finals MVP
He shoulda got a trophy from Bill Russell
They should put Brian Scalabrine in the hall

Cuz basically he’d turn into a monster so destructive
Redheaded and built, two hundred fifty pounds of muscle
Scalabrine made his haters say “I pray he don’t do nothin”
Clear the lane he’s coming full steam right toward the fuckin’ bucket

Sinkin them buckets, fadeaway jumper
They ain’t prepared for this ginger to crush it
Brian is simply the best to have done it
There ain’t no debate since 08 when he won it
Call him White Mamba so that you don’t waste time, Scalabrine’s a mouthful to utter
His game was like gravy, they say with the ladies
He was always guaranteed to be butter
(‘Cause he was smooth)
You're down in the late fourth quarter guaranteed he’ll be the dude
To win it for you, hit him at the three point line, he gon’ pull it up and shoot (BANG!)
A defensive freak, he could have shut down Mike even if he had the flu
In 2003, he started seven games after a year in which he started two

And he made the playoffs that year too
Scalabrine’s the GOAT and that’s just the truth
Now that you know that, don't let nobody tell you different
White Mamba loves you

Steve Sachs x Eastman Presser - White Mamba

A cover of a song written by my good friend Joseph Schlam.

Angel Light (Joseph Schlam cover)

Clemdawg (prod. by Sean Clements)

The Flagrant Five (Sara Love, Steve Sachs, Steven Shaw, Chargrix, & Eastman Presser)
Grey Tears

Lyrics:

(Sara)
Our engineer fights back a grey tear
Yeah Andy is sad but our hero
Cuz he's got a tongue like De Niro
Yeah Kneis-a-Kneis-a
Sad Kneis-a-Kneis-a

(Sachs)
Now please don’t make me say it twice
Just because my flow is nice
I will not apologize
For all of my comments on reddit that made andy cry

I told a friend that ya’ll featured my raps
They asked me wow did they pay you for that
I said it’s actually funny you ask
I’m the one that gives them the cash

They looked confused and said where can i hear it?
I said you gotta pay 60 a year it’s
Easy to access, once you that shit
They’re hilarious, you can’t imagine

Really, they said, maybe i’ll check it out
By the way, what’s the show all about?
I told em they mostly just talk really loud
While some other podcast plays in the background

Comprehensively, they cover games
Extensively, they list the players by name
Ostensibly it’s just a basketball pod
That’s hosted by hayes andy carl and sean

(Shaw)
Eastman drop the beat quick, I need it.
Lemon loaf from Starbucks, I eat lil bitch
Try to play me in zone then watch me hit my three quick, lil bitch
Gimme them feet quick, I'll lick
I'm like Hayes, how many cat you have?
Andy gonna slice my ass
Carl got the ball and he’s not gonna pass
Sean broke his ankles and banked off the glass
shoot and I'll send that shit back,
my gun is from china, Kawhis bleeding real bad
looking like a MAGA hat
take a quick loot at the stats,
i'm ballin like Harden in Houston, wait no Brooklyn
got em all shook and shit, Kyrie and Kevin and Harden just took the shit
Lakers ain’t gettin this ring
Andy just sliced up my whole ding-a-ling, all hail the greyest of kings,
I cannot help but stan a mother flagrant one,
Look at god, Look at god
Eastman and Steve hit me up for a verse so I gave em one
Kevin really quit his job
Sean with the hop tea, Hayes drinkin vinegar, not me
Pinchy crab on my hot tee
No one can stop me, plenty of players had blond hair
Militic looked like a nazi, I'm in the box seats
Suckin on teaux with some chop sticks, call that lil bitch Habachi

Chorus

(Chargrix)
Once upon a time, a working man's chef Kevin
Now we supply the jams and he collects the reven-
Knew my shit would slap like Andy when the camera cuts
Sean’s cheeks are swelling 
Andy tells him: “that makes two of us”
Every new bundle booty's bigger by degrees
Still can’t fill the hole from his COVID Halloween, he’s morose
 Plenty women ringing up his phone
At the moment he don’t feel like licking toes, somethings wrong
Why you think they call him mr. knees, little baby
That’s what he’s down on to reach the feet, little baby
Looking at the moon like, “How the fuck I’m sad?..
With all these honey buns I got stuffed in my duffel bag
Sheesh am I crazy?
I’m Disney’s Andy Knies, 
I'm the grey king
fuck the failing grey lady
Now let me dry these tears with the money that they paid me”
Then he did a burnout in a custom grey Mercedes

(Eastman)
I’m at the DMV, no mask
COVID guidelines, I’m tryna slap that ass
Big pants Sean, yeah he double cheeked up
Hayes got the sugar shrub up in his cup
I don’t get paid to make beats like these,
But at least I don’t cry grey tears like Kneis,
Not for money, not for clout, it’s the tears, that’s why
Call me Mr Aberfan, I can make the monarch cry

Grey Tears - The Flagrant Five (Sara Love, Steve Sachs, Steven Shaw, Chargrix, and Eastman Presser)

Sonic work of musicker and listener Eastman Presser.

Eastman Presser

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