Jude Traxler plays guitar, keys, computers, and sings
Al Cerulo plays uke, melodica, percussion, and electronics
Greg Chudzik plays basses, synths, and software robots

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
All tracks recorded and produced at Traxler Studios, NYC (2019/2020)
Mastered by Andrew McKenna Lee @ Still Sound Music, East Chatham, NY
echoartifact.com  |  traxlerstudios.com  |  stillsoundmusic.com

Buy on Bandcamp.com

Left To Lose

CPU (A post-apocalyptic electronic opera for the end of the world, in one act)

Prologue:
‘Imagine the prison of repetition
A pitch-perfect perpetual misery
Awaiting each player ignition
Is a blanket of unusable memory’

A fourteen-song cycle for 1 actor, 25 iPads (in a circle surrounding the performer), 3 musicians, and the last days on Earth.

Synopsis:
Guy meets girl. Girl falls for guy. Guy falls for girl. Guy brings girl into a cyber/eco terrorist organization. Together, they develop a virus that ends the planet, killing off all life on Earth. They survive, trapped in a bunker. Girl is in a coma, infected with her own viral creation. As guy works (tirelessly) to keep her alive, he is without food, without sleep, without rest.

[There is no hope. There is no rescue mission. There is nothing that can be salvaged. There is no future.]

Our story begins with a bright, loud explosion as the global power grid fails. Guy is forced to manually maintain her brain function through repetitive tasks:
setting and resetting 25 independently timed video alarm clocks on light-emitting tablets. As time goes on, the alarms become more difficult to retrigger, and his exhaustion begins to take over.

[If he misses an alarm reset, the alarm is disabled and it emits a tone that cannot be turned off.]
[If all 25 alarms are allowed to misfire, the opera immediately ends, regardless of the progress remaining.]

echoartifact.com/cpu_opera
All tracks recorded and produced at Traxler Studios, NYC (2015)

CPU (EP)

Jude Traxler plays guitar, keys, computers, and sings
Al Cerulo plays uke, melodica, percussion, and electronics
Greg Chudzik plays basses, synths, and software robots

echoartifact.com/partials
All tracks recorded and produced at Traxler Studios, NYC (2018)

Partials

Movements 1-3 (of 4)

+ - - - -
+ + - - -
+ + + - -

echoartifact.com/shortstep
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2022)

Music from Pictures

Short Step (Preview)

Short Step, Movements I-III (Preview)

Never does it go to show
In the throes of hope will we try to feel alive
We mind, but we're fine

Easier than rope
But no choke starts without a fire
But we try to seem fine all the time (all the time)

Tell her how you told me at home
You'd hold me close until we died while you drive
We decide to try to try

Leaving what you know makes it hard to feel the tide
This time

echoartifact.com/followup_single
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2022)

+ - - - -

I can't
I can't tell
By myself

Lie
Small and frail
By myself I think I can manage it

Sigh
I should tell you
Think we would've thought of this

We don't need you
We don't see you ending up a part of this
We don't think the same of what we used to think of happiness
Intrinsic, she starts
"You think we would've thought of this"

Why I never found my way again

What would you know about trust?
What would you do to get what you want?
What would you know about truth?
When will it be enough proof to refute
What you already know?
I think you should go

Where would you be when the cut's not enough?
What then would they say about us?
Unusual how it matters so much
It's hard to predict when your god's out of touch

What would you know about blood?
What would you do if you could?
What have you done for me that I couldn't do for myself
If I didn't need your help?
Not yet

Breathe in slow
Let dark parts grow
We don't know why you care
I know why there's nothing there

I can't (do this anymore)
I can't tell (you)
By myself (I)

Lie (to me again)
Small and frail (I am)
By myself I (don't) think I can manage it

Sigh (again, to me again)
I should tell you
Think we would've thought of this (before we fell down)

We don't need you
We don't see you ending up a part of this
We don't think the same of what we used to think of happiness
Intrinsic, she starts
"You think we would've thought of this"

echoartifact.com/followup_single
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2021/2022)

Followup

This time I won't fall for this
These short step relationships
Star-studded pools I can't resist
But too deep to swim against this time

This time I'll pretend that my will contends
Twist my tongue until it rips
Bright blue apocalypse
There is no innocence

This time
This tide
In rhyme
This time
This time
This time

echoartifact.com/thebells_single
echoartifact.com | traxlerstudios.com

+ + - - -

Buy on BandCamp.com

Wake up
Last night I dreamed...
Break up - I'll find new strings
Wake up
Last night I dreamed I need you
But you came too sure
          I know I'm not sure
... too sure

Breakpoint. Listen and repeat.
If you want it long enough it’ll become what you need.
Breakpoint. I’ll bring you up to speed.
After every rainbow comes the rot and the disease.

Everything up until now has a filter.
Everything up until now has been tilted, shifted
Easy up: get lifted; drift with it; pick gifted.
Paint a picture of transition;
Rediscover new beginnings.
But if you never “act now” include ‘oblivious indecisions’

Now, if we listen to tradition
Not every lesson needs invention.
If you are what drives your illness
Separate. A new division.

Where do we go when we go inside?
Somewhere safe from the landslide?
Somewhere better than your own head
“Nothing but old ghosts and broken parts”, she said.
What do we know about letting go?
Nothing but short steps in an undertow.
Don’t lose sleep. Take it slow.

What do you think it would take to get you through?
What will it take to make you new?
If you get there first, save seats for two
I’m not the one. They’re both for you.

Breakpoint. Listen and believe.
If you need it long enough it’ll consume what you bleed.
Breakpoint. I’ll bring you to release.
It’s the rainbow that brings all the rot; the disease.

Everything up until now is a flicker.
Everything up and then “how” doesn’t fit her
Doesn’t get her. “Stay down” doesn’t fit her
Doesn’t shift her; stay with her

Paint a picture of admission; rediscover intuition
But if you never “act now” don’t expect her to resist her resistors

Now, if we listen to tradition
Not every lesson needs revision.
If you are what drives your illness
Separate. Create derision.

Where do we go when we go inside?
Somewhere safe from the landslide?
Somewhere better than your own head
“Nothing but old ghosts and broken parts”, she said.
What do we know about letting go?
Nothing but short steps in an undertow.
Don’t lose sleep. Take it slow.

echoartifact.com/thebells_single
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2023)

The Bells

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

As I lie in wait the screen will load.
Why try perpetuate the episode?
I know just how far this will go.
Watch me chase her down a rabbit hole.

She stays folding constant memory
Like tape, all that’s left is shimmering.
Losing and over-clocking all that we
Won’t leave now witnessing through history.

Just numbers in the cloud
No signal to the ground

I wait calculating entropy (while)
She slips into something misery.
We are so far along the plot erodes.
Witness all at once the overload.

Just numbers in the cloud
No reason to be found
Six chambers in the round
Let’s find our way down

As she tries to stop the sound

I stay – partition partial memory
Someday duplicate my apathy.
She states “You only want what you can see”
I’ll create a better virus to release.

Stage 1 – dissolve the casing carefully
Stage 2 – deploy the virus properly
Stage 3 – This strain of poison digital
Now breathe – The devastation: critical

It shakes pixelating visually.
We break – electronic shattering.
Reshape the virus out of misery.
She will reboot a better part of me.

Just numbers in the cloud
No reason to be found
Six chambers in the round
Let’s find our way down.

We are. We are all a part of this. (We are, we are.)

We all, we all fall apart at this. (We are, we are.)

We all. We all had a part in this. (We are, we are.)

We are. We are all a part of this. (We are, we are.)

Like children in the crowd
Left screaming this aloud
Six chambers in the ground
We’ve found our way…

She fakes replicating part of me.
Retake deploy the virus constantly.
We make a first-world catastrophe.

She breaks self-importing gravity.
Create self-revolving memory.
We are all that’s left in front of me.
We drown celebrating gravity.

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

CPU (Overture)

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

This is love

This is love
Tried and true
(Black and blue)
This is what
He’ll come home to
(Our armor see-through)

This is love

This is not
A secret drug she’s dreaming of
(Broken wings from above)
This is us
Biting and screaming for the sun
(With our severed tongues)

This is love

As that sure thing we’ll not find
Save the replay in your mind
When the hardware won’t rewind
Break in 2… 1…

This is love

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

This Is Love

This Is Love (03)

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

I’ll return to earth in time
With your heartbeat next to mine.
How irregular it grows
When at last we know.
Lest we make a change within
We cannot make amends.
As if distant rhythms should collide,

Our pulsars realign

Heartbeat heartbeat pounding through me,
The sound of our last light corroding.
We will surely break, break apart in time.
If we never reinvent,
Termination imminent.
As if we could ever synchronize,

Our pulsars misalign

When we make mistakes again
Elaborate our giving in
As if distant rhythms should collide,

Our pulsars realign

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

Pulsars

Pulsars (11)

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

Further down the relay is a step I’m going to miss,
A message I won’t be involved with

Cancel these words and slow my tongue
There won’t be much left when I’m done
I’d never ever rather come running back from this

Undefined intentions make me want to mention
All I ever thought of you
I’m just not in 2
Saying goodbye to this time

Further down the relay is a step I’m going to miss,
A message I won’t be involved with

Fortify these walls and break my limbs
All these final moments depend
On you ever waking up from this
I can’t continue, friend

Break down these days one by one
All that we have left is undone
(No) No one walks away from this

I can’t shake this feeling in my bones
Like you’re in my hands and we’re –

Further down the relay is a step I’m going to miss,
A message I won’t be involved with

Codify these words and sheath my gun
Nothing will be left when we’re done
Our time expires just after these messages run

You can’t stop this chain reaction – only time can give us traction
Why we never thought this through
My clever head has failed us both
But I (I) won’t go without you

I can’t shake this feeling in my bones
Like you’re in my hands and we’re –

(Further down the relay is a step I’m going to miss,
A message I won’t be involved with)

I can’t fight this feeling in my bones
Like we’re in my head and we’re already gone

How much do you think we can('t) see before we realize that we’re gone?

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

Relay

Relay (06)

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

There’s just one thing in my mind,
Do you love me all the time?
And I’m not sure why I need to know,
I just do

Do you? Do you love me girl?
I think you do

As do all things heal in time,
Do you trust me? Will we survive?
And I’m not sure if I can stand to know
When we’re through

Do you? Do you love me girl?
I think you do

As I told you outside,
Could you love me through this demise?
The only one thing that I seem to know is
I love you

Do you? Do you love me girl?
I think you do

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

Do You

Do You (02)

From the original opera, CPU
echoartifact.com/cpu_opera

I see your name written down
In a word, alone
I see no need to be found
In this world alone

And I won’t find myself in time
Tell me something I don’t already know

Our last story will be surrender
Deny everything and leave her

Out of my mind (nothing)

I, with this clock ticking down,
Create a world of tones
I’ll end this automated sound
And we’ll wash ashore

And we won’t mind this gap in time
Feel me disappear. It’s already done.

This task the only space between us
Defines now our only weakness

I am alive (nothing)
Out of my mind (nothing changes me)

I found you where I found myself

Out of my mind

I’ll bring this game crashing down
To a pile of stones
Raining destruction abound
Only skin and bones

And if we find ourselves in time
We’ll abandon hope. We’re never getting home.

Sound warnings defeat her
It notes everything and remembers

I found you where I found myself
I found you where we last exhaled
At least she’ll know I died trying

I found you where I found my -

I found you where I found myself
I found you where we last exhaled
I found you where we’re drowning
At least she’ll know I died fighting

Out of my mind (nothing changes me)

Recorded at Traxler Studios (2016)

Out of My Mind

Out Of My Mind (04)

Until We Met

echoartifact.com/partials
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2018)

Until We Met

What can I say? I'm a lush
But I'm good at it
What can I say? It's a rush
But I'm sure that it pays to be on time
Lately I don't mind

What else can I say? I'm alone
But I'm good at it
To keep me in a way that I know
I've a bad habit of not saying goodbye
Truly I don't mind

If I say what I need, would I say that I need you to save me? (Save me)

When would I break? What's enough?
When the eyes have it?
What would it take? Make believe all kinds when I'm
Diminished in my mind
Delayed reaction times

If I say what I need, would I say that I need you to save me?
If I stay and I bleed to erase the sting of safety
To betray this disease would I break into what has made me?
Every single time
Almost... never mind

If I say what I need, would I say that I need you to save me?
If I stay and I bleed to erase the sting of safety
To betray this disease would I break into what has made me?
Plastic all the time
Friendly-fire blind

Delayed reaction time

echoartifact.com/partials
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2018)

What Can I Say?

As if it is as up to me as I can say
For me to be of it, of love as clay
If who to him was she to them
Where monsters are instead of men
Belittling our souls this very day

If who was down then what was up
With when as much as one can trust
As if we met who would we be
Without much need for empathy
But by the if we hoped for much dismay

As if it is as up to me as I can say

echoartifact.com/partials
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2018)

Dissent

I, I try
I, I find
I, I try
I, I mind

I won't let this go
I want you to know

I won't let this go (near backflow)
I want you to know (down we go)

I, I try

echoartifact.com/partials
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2018)

Static

Well I never

Sever, sever with me all our ties
Rip this stitch in time (rewind)
Sink in this doubt and we might fall
Rather that we tried (reprise)

Moving all tides
A thousand histories resign
We weaponize

Well I never

Clever, clever better break me from all sides
Bit by brick collide (retry)
Teething, bleeding, pleading, heaving with you by (bye) the by
Make me compromise (remind)

Well I never

Moving all tides
A thousand histories resign
We weaponize

Choosing our sides
Breaking down in strides
We weaponize

Well I never saw you coming back again

Easy for you to say I won't
Fractures are better left alone
Do you feel like letting go?
Well I never

Sever, sever with me all our ties
Wary that we might
We weaponize

echoartifact.com/partials
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2018)

Well I Never

I don’t feel like sleeping anymore
Maybe now and then
Even being numb can be a chore
When you’re stepped on again

I don’t get to see you anymore
I just live to move myself around around again
How I’d like to meet you furthermore
How cordial we’d pretend

Why I fail to see the point of waking up to you
While I find myself in someone else’s shoes

Bring me back a season from before
A cold and subtle wind
Leaving all our reasons at the door
We’re keeping score but no one playing ever wins

Why I fail to see the point of waking up to you
While I find myself in someone else’s shoes

I am not myself
Who could I be
If not someone else

I don’t feel like sinking anymore
February silences are setting in
Pick apart my ego ’til it’s sore
But then again, where are all my fucking friends?

Why I fail to see the point of waking up to you
While I find myself in someone else’s shoes
(waiting here for you)

I won't find my way out
I don't mind these breakdowns
(I think about the silence of danger)
I won't let you in now
I'll find my own way down
(I think I am becoming a stranger)

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

I think I am becoming a stranger

Blue bird, blue bird are you tired?
Bloodied, tin foil and are you fired?
Weary, I don't think I've tried
Long enough now to be alright
I don’t think we should sleep tonight

Red bird, red bird do you feel?
Lessen my grip is this not real?
Quiet reset to feel alright
I don’t think we can win this fight
All depends where she sleeps tonight

Black bird, black bird do you know
How afraid is your heart to show?
Seal it up stitched away from light
Long enough not to feel inside
I don’t think this will be alright

Blue bird, blue bird won’t you try?
She bleeds out while the fire dies
Giving up isn’t like letting go
Breaking down over radio
Where from here baby? I don’t know

Blue bird, blue bird are you tired?
Bloodied, tin foil and are you fired?
Weary I don't think I've tried
Overwhelming adrift reminds:
Never don’t let your heart decide

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Bluebird

I’m not me
I know it
Let’s not see
Where this is going

You’ve caught me
And it’s showing
Brace yourself
Hell is snowing—

She can’t even keep up on the sideline
A project for the center of my side-mind
We sink another body in the timeline
I know you don’t mean too much and-

(I am not myself anymore)

I’m not me  (Find me a new way out)
I’ve known it
Let’s not see  (Blinding this newest doubt)
Where this is going

You’ve lost me  (Find me a new way out)
Never showing
Brace yourself  (Blinding this newest doubt)
Hell is snowing—

Find me a new way out

featuring Katie Zarazua-Dover, vocals
echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Untitled Strings

I don’t
I don’t think you mean it
Here now another disagreement
Play our cards

It means more to me when you’re gone
What at this point could go wrong?
Where the heart flows silt will follow
A pill too big for us to swallow

What could I do to make this worse?
Love, being a chemical randomly dispersed,
Is never that we’ve found our place
But merely a familiar face;
A bluebird transfixed in space

Come down
Come down
(I won’t)
Come down
(I don’t)
Play our hearts

(I don’t think you mean it.)
Play our cards

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Prelude

“Do you want to be a memory?”, she sang to me
If you ever feel inside, are you truly free?
Never will the tears flow
Never will she let go
Forever holding on to thee. I said,
“All my memories are broken, baby,
and I’m ashamed, you see.”

“Do you ever feel alive? Do you strain to breathe?”
Another line of questioning that should pertain to me
Better to be let go
Rather than an echo
Waiting just to see if she can see
“Do you ever feel alive?” I said,
“Only when the pain recedes.”

“Do you want to be a memory?”, she sang to me
Hope is just a metaphor
For when the pain recedes

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Ebb & Low

Not that long ago
We stood face to face
Indecision shows
The ways that we have changed

Born again to show
That we’ve evolved away
Bleeding head to toe
But we keep secrets safe

One last round to go
And then we’re far away
No one has to know
‘Cuz we keep secrets safe

Like nothing matters

By now I know, knocked down, I’m not getting up
Ready to bleed for this but I’m too deep cut
The longer I’m down the more I sink to oblivion
You have no idea what this will become

No one left to know
No one left to say
Dig deep down below
To keep this secret safe

Buried here alone
With all of our mistakes
Never really known
That we were making graves

All that’s left to show
Is violently erased
Fear of letting go
Will keep me in this place
...keep me in my place

(I’m watching all my dreams turn circles)
(Waiting for a great new purpose)

Like something matters

By now I know, knocked down, I’m not getting up
Ready to bleed through this but I’m too deep cut
The longer I’m down the more I sink to oblivion
You have no idea what this has become

Finally alone
Desperate and decayed
Breaking sticks and bones
To keep this story straight

(Weigh me down
I know why
You won’t ask me now
I know why
You can’t weigh me down
Ask me why)

By now I’m done, knocked out, I’m never getting up
Already bleeding out and I’ve had enough
The longer I’m down the more I sink to oblivion
You have no idea but this has begun

Finding out that hope
Is frequently delayed
Never letting go
‘Cuz we keep secrets safe

What’s your price for keeping secrets?

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Ask Me

When we were waking from our dreams
The world had changed or though it seems
Whenever asked we stayed the story true
Never not a world to see, we set our course: return to dreams
And bare the bear that bare repeating soon

I’m leaving out a lot of things
We never should’ve stayed asleep
When listening is key to keeping cool
All you want is interesting
When “interesting” is blisteringly
Ever better than forgotten fools

Let me start again to say -
Aware there should be better ways
Of coping with reality anew -
“Finding new epiphanies of recent found discrepancies
Will only get you further from the truth.”

I’m leaving out a lot of things
We never should’ve stayed asleep
When misery is key to keeping cruel
And all you want is interesting
But “interesting” is blisteringly
Ever better than forgotten fools

Why, I think I’ll try to tell you why I never tried
Why the body left the soul for somewhere else to die
Something felt real
Something’s wrong here

To finish up convincingly
I feel I mustn’t say
A litany of reasons why I’m lost along the way
A fault, a fear, at least ten beers have kept my soul a-sway for years
But at least I’ve kept all her regrets at bay

I’m leaving out a lot of things
We never should’ve strayed from sheep
When victory is key to keeping true
But what you want is interesting
When “interesting” is blisteringly
Ever better than forgotten fools
We’re never better than forgotten fools
Let’s clean this up before the blood begins to pool

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019/2020)

Forgotten Fools

Do you have a light?
I’ll give you anything but a piece of my mind when I 
Try not to fight
Something in the back of me withers and dies

We weren’t all born in Hollywood

He drives through the night
As she looks out the window he recedes to a time when
Things are alright
While holding out for compromise the meter expires

Isn’t this weather vindictively cool?

Then she said...

All the king’s horses and all the kings men
Couldn’t put us back together again

She walks away
Not knowing what it is she thinks he wants her to say
She might not today
When starting conversations tends to just be a waste of time

You would’ve known me in high school

Then he said...

All the king’s horses and all the kings men
Couldn’t put us back together again

What if all the people we’ve become are unhappy?
Wouldn’t it be better in the long run (better) if we started detaching?
Nothing says I love you like “the end”

Do you have a light?
I’ll give you anything to look me in the eyes
Let’s stay in and fight
I don’t want to be around me but I need you to try

Nobody told me
Everyone ignored me
Fairytale or fable, it’s cool

All the king’s horses and all the kings men
Everyone’s trying but where to begin?
When all of us are dying I needed a friend
All the king’s horses and all the kings men
Couldn’t put us back together again

echoartifact.com/lefttolose
Recorded at Traxler Studios (2019)

Talking Points

Echo Artifact is Al Cerulo and Jude Traxler; multi-instrumentalists live-looping original songs within a narrative structure.

Echo Artifact

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