ANIMATION VS ANYTHING - CH. I

After months of work and hours of dedication, my new series Animation vs Anything is finally starting. Thanks to everyone who helped out!

Eric the Audible as Gumball
Eddie's Rap Channel as Darwin

SkeepTieel as Calvin
Seth W. as Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes (0:20):
 
I’m not whistling Dixie when I say my intro’s decent
Cure your permanent Joy virus with the real world’s treatment
If you’re terrified of Tina, you can’t fight Calvinosaurus
It’s a pro Cub Scout against two dolts lost in the forest
I’ve got the eye of a tiger - and the maw of a disser
Used to fire deadly shots like a Spaceman Spiffer
G.R.O.S.S won’t accept a crossdressing androgynous imbecile
Tackle and knock you old Ni-cold for your Spittle’s principle
Tickled Pinky Malinky and now your fame just eludes me
You’re against Copycats, but you’re two replicas of Susie?
With your stale style, Gumball, don’t bite off more than you can chew
I’m sure with your verses this battle will be called HIP FLOP 2!
 
Gumball and Darwin (0:48):
 
Uh… Who are you again? Seriously, I can’t tell a bit
Let’s use their Time Machine to go back to when they were still relevant
On the track, i’ve got bite - an Alligator on the Train
You better stuff it! Thought you’d win? Were you imagining again?
I Dodge and Dare you to bite the Bullet that i’ve been Tracing
Can’t handle flow - you hate bathing! My World and rhymes are Amazing!
People find your jokes hi-Larry-ous, but I find it nefarious
A schizophrenic terror kid who’s tiger is his therapist
You better call up Tobias to be your friend
Because your only other one appears to be out for your head
Use your Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron or give us the Writers Block
But your wounds from the Cretinizer? Quite visible when you talk
 
Calvin and Hobbes (1:16):
 
Heh, he got you there. Shut up, Hobbes, don’t you hiss at me
I can invent rhymes so sweet they call me Calvin, Boy of Diss-tiny
But i’m thinking outside the cardboard box in order to wage War on
They should change Zach’s legal name to “Elmoron”
I won’t make a Hobbes Creek, you’ve got no sign that my flow’s tough
This is the second rap you spat proving that you need to grow up
You got de-Moe-lished on the mic! Your verses left this tiger snoring
I’m tired of spitting lyrics now. Let’s go exploring!
 
Gumball and Darwin (1:34):
 
What the what? That’s Richard. You need to Ketchup with your Raps
This slow Tiger’s queries would flow better in Trap!
When we Complete Calvin and Hobbes, these two Simians won’t be Missed
An Un-Responsible kid and his jaw dropping comic stripped
The only Bombs you can drop are Chocolate Frosted Sugar
Your series couldn’t Carrie it’s weight and now Bill’s a pencil pusher
And you’re pushing Daisies like Anais - no longer in the paper
Washed up by our Watterson flow! Now you’ve met your maker!

Written by Eddie
Mixed by SkeepTieel
Prod. by Sean Divine

Gumball and Darwin vs Calvin and Hobbes - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

im the coolest meme-meister in the USA

Mancha as Poochie
Boris as Parappa the Rapper

Poochie:

The name’s Poochie D, and i’ve got something to say
The Cool-est dudemeister leaves you neutered and spayed
I’ll make ya cry when I cut up Master Onion
Colonel Noodle here can’t do nothing by kickin’ and punchin’
U RAPPIN’ AWFUL when compared to the Simpsons
Your father messed up when he invented this shrimp son
I put a spin on my cartoon much like a vinyl
Lammy shows that your maker learned to always recycle!

Parappa:

Kick! Punch! It’s all in the mind!
If you wanna test me, i’m sure you’ll find
I’m alright, go back to sittin’ in the car
While I make like the Simpsons and drop the bar
You’ve made it! I’m spittin’ a Fireworks Factory
Your measly one Stage was unsatisfactory
So head to your planet that needs you, they’re brainless
No need to smell me later when inhabiting Uranus!


Poochie:

Chill out, hot dog, and take it on the Joe Chin
Cut it out! Like your in-game appearance, your flow’s thin
It’s hard to Fleaswallow you think you’re better, mutt
You gotta believe that I just kicked your butt

Parappa:

Throwing some cel shade sends you straight to the vet
I’m set with Sunny, but for you, the sun’s set
You’ve got a bad rap, and here you haven’t been redeemed
Killed the mic like your character: 2D EXTREME!

Cover Art by Eddie
Written by Eddie
Mixed by Boris
Prod. by Marsad Men

NEXT BATTLE: Wait like an hour (ft. garbageGothic)

Extra bonus tidbits for those who read the description (Gonna make this a thing now)

-This was the second AvA I ever wrote. It was written for this series unlike Peridot vs Flats, but it was made while the name of the series was still "Cartoons vs Anything".

-I did credit him properly above, but I want to give a special shoutout to Boris who was incredibly helpful with the making of this battle. He suggested additions for Parappa that I hadn't thought of, he mixed the battle (this is the first AvA that Skeep didn't mix) and he is editing Parappa's parts. Thanks man, couldn't have done it without you.

-For a brief point of time, this beat (Mary Pt. 2 by Marsad Men, if anyone is wondering) was my all time favourite beat and I am really excited that I got to use it.

-Mancha re-recorded Poochie last minute which is why this battle came out today instead of yesterday.

PREVIOUS HINT EXPLANATION:
"It's not my fault your game is terrible, i'll abuse this!"

Pretty obvious, it's a direct rip of one of Poochie's lines from CMRB's Itchy and Scratchy vs Tom and Jerry but replacing "show" with "game" because Parappa is a game

Poochie vs PaRappa the Rapper - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

I'm the main antagonist of YouTube although I don't play a central role in the series till the 2010s

Mancha as Poochee
Eddie as Pansy

F00PZ as Red Puppet 
F00PZ as Bird Puppet
F00PZ as Yellow Puppet

Poochee and Pansy:

Once upon a time, there were two sick rappers
That will be named victorious against some horror-ble actors
Dev-oat-ed fans are bewitched when they see you Sufferdark
So we’ll ball hard to show you we’ve got both bite and bark
Our special announcement is to keep kids protected
You’re deceiving and begging for HELP so you’re not disconnected
There are Bad Things That Can Happen and thisisitcollectively    
We’re towering over you and this time we’re not here to get kitty
Your fans are jejune teens and I don’t FIND YOU much better
Slowly ditching your friends while we always stick together
You try to Question Fun but these standard practices are vital
Couldn’t capitalize on your fame or your first episode’s title

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared:

Digital style comes in the form of many things
Looks like now we’re in Powerpoint Slideshow vs Anything
That sounds really boring - you can ring me and the bell
Because you’re lonely and forgotten - taking the  mic L
While we’re taking the Midnight Crown as what haunts YouTube
You’re green with envy because we’re more creative than you
Have you met the talking clock? 10 years and you’ll surely rot
With a pesky B-plot worth Gangadiddly squat!
ARG! The early bird gets your can of worms, pups!
Takes a ScareTheater video for you to be eaten up
With your dreams of winning against my oil flow, you’ll plummet
Just show your puppy Love and succumb as a puppet

Poochee and Pansy:

*hahah* We’re spitting fire, you’re spitting like Freddy Firefly
You can celebrate Father’s Day by meeting who you were inspired by
Comedy is more your Colin, take an eye for an eye
Looks like this is the second time you bombed on the open mic


Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared:

*huh?* You’re trying to reach us but your views are pitiful
Your fame is dest-Roy-ed and you never grew up like Shrignold
Send an S.O.S to your friends because you’re clearly quite the dreamer
But you won’t get far if your favourite idea is screamers

Coverart by Geon
Written by Eddie
Mixed by -
Prod. by Sean Divine

NEXT BATTLE: Elementary (ft. Legion & Allymations)

Poochee & Pansy vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Merry christmas new years every one

garbageGothic as Olive the Other Reindeer
Eddie as Snoopy

Olive:
You’re just a typical dog, in more than one way black and white
Even with your BlueSky, you’re not the one here taking flight
How can you chant a rhyme shackled to pantomimes
Without coming up shorter than my transit time?
You’re skating on thin ice, not pulling enough weight to break it
I’m harder than a Martini, one root beer would leave you wasted
Better face it, Snoop Dogg - your specials are just padding
So I won’t need the Postman’s help to send Peanuts packing!

Snoopy:
Wow! Saving Christmas? You sleigh me thinking you’d pull it
I’m ‘bout to pick off Olive like a pizza down my gullet
The box office brought thoughts that you’d be a big hit
But doggone it, FOX trotted back to the Simpsons!
Watching your uncanny animation is a burden
When you said your owner’s Tim, I was moreso thinking Burton
Lock, Woodstock & barrel, a Baron you oughta fear
Shoot you down with less airtime than your special last year



Olive:
I’m the welcome Matt Groening, but new visitors don’t step on me
While every new reboot you have is stomping on your legacy
Joe Coal in your stocking - despite fans’ bold outcries
I’ll still get rid of this classic - Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Snoopy:
You wanna be a reindeer so bad? Well truly, that helps
You’ll bring more warmth to the world as a Lucy van Pelt
That flea’s affecting your hearing, so let me be the Old Yeller
You’re just FOX’s second barebones Santa’s Little Helper

Written by Eddie
Coverart by Eddie
Mixed by Dustin

Olive, the Other Reindeer vs Snoopy - Rap Battle (AvA: SHORTS)

I'm not gonna go too in depth with it here, but in case you guys haven't noticed, I'm in the process of reworking Animation vs Anything's season structure and branding. Consider it a soft-reboot. More info will come soon. In the meantime, please enjoy the first full new Animation vs Anything of the "reboot"!

garbageGothic as Kyoko Kirigiri
Swedely as Detective Pikachu

Detective Pikachu:
Fleeing this battle would be a bolt of brilliance
‘Cuz you won’t be winning this with your cold resilience
These burns’ll leave a scar you’ll be unable to hide
Can’t get the hell out of the ring against the Charizard of Ryme 
You’re a jerk, Kyoko - It doesn’t work, Kyoko
Communicating with others has got its perks, Kyoko
Starved for affection cuz her grandfather hates her
Not even Mikan could detox that behaviour
Say you’re hopped up on Hope - you’re really full of resentment and
Your ideas only stick out with ahoges presenting ‘em
I’m sure your family issues might spawn some light trauma
Your character’s bare bones - like father, like daughter

Kyoko Kirigiri:
You’re lowering the bar - but i’ll take this key OHKO
Your rap execution was as botched as Makoto’s
Call me a dick all you want - I’m Tracy, you’re Gumshoe
I’ll solve the real cases Oak’s lab rat’s too stumped to
Your ontmato-Pikas were most certainly effective
But they gave you a gruff voice - from Great to grating Detective
This abomination proves companies can’t design with class
I’m certain a glance would shatter that magnifying glass
With your formulaic cash-ins, Ashes to Ashes
A spin-off now or then helps to cleanse your fan’s Pallets
And while I admire it’s not another trek through Kanto
A PG L.A. Noir is not something your series can tow

Detective Pikachu:
This Sherlock’s got Watts, son, your plot twists can’t shock me
I fell asleep in your prologue, no coffee could stop me
I’ve got you down in the dumps, like your franchise, you’ll fall
Looks like the fans got a Detective Trash Man after all

Kyoko Kirigiri:
This mouse is simplistic - no point fans can click with
A “hand held” game is an accurate description
So go ahead with your movie in Hopes of Peaking in sales
Because once Reynolds’ unmasked, my burns will speak for themselves

Coverart by Eddie
Written by Eddie
Mixed and Mastered by Dustin (thanks :D)
Prod. by Terry Devine-King (of Audio Network)

NEXT (fully new) BATTLE: A Taste of Your Own Medicine/Two Peas in a Cephalopod/Black People

Detective Pikachu vs Kyoko Kirigiri - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

TUNE IN TO THE VIDEO PREMIERE ON EASTER SUNDAY, 12 PM EST!

ANIMATION VS ANYTHING is back! Celebrate Easter with this new rap battle between Toontown's own Roger Rabbit and the crime fighting bunny of the Freelance Police, Max!

Freshy Kanal as Roger Rabbit
Wiley Koyote as Max

Eddiefrb as himself
Fightmarker, GamingPlush64, TheAngryMidget, MetaMachine, FyxFynn & Danii as The Audience

MAX:
Before we start rolling, you sure you can rhyme?
‘Cuz I don’t wanna have to shoot this battle 23 times
I’m a star, and the bird i’ll flip - The father of point and click
Your lucky feat’s gettin’ Jessica Rabbit to boink ya dick
Sam and I cultivated a multimedia smash
Your classic culminated in a cult crazy for trash
Say you don’t feel pain, but these lines are gonna hurt
‘Cuz I got Somethin’ Cookin’ and your ass is gettin’ burnt
I’m the Culture Shock, you’re more of a Handbuzzer
With a fanbase more infuriating than your damn stutter
I’ve got bad news for ya, pal, if comedy is your life
The only “slap stick” goin’ on is your viewers to your wife

ROGER RABBIT (talking):
(..and CUT!) Eddie, There’s no way i’m battling this vermin
The only Baby you’ll catch me co-starring with is Herman
I looked at his script, and didn’t know what to say
Is he bad at rapping, or just written that way? (3, 2, 1, ACTION!)

ROGER RABBIT (rapping):
You’re more of a tortoise in this rabbit race (rabbit race)
Are we throwing fisticuffs or playin’ Paddy-Cake? (Paddy-Cake?)
I’m not talkin’ your B.O. when I say your lyrics stink
Are your good bars in disappearing/reappearing ink?
You’re a flash in the deadpan, I’m forever celebrated
Born from the Golden age like I was touched by Midas
As for my wife, I won’t have this shamus shame us
At least I don’t have a dog Investigatin’ my Privates
You’ve been going downhill since you left the comic strip
Not surprising your series died after taking such a Dip
It’s a Telltale sign to the fans that forever, you’re
Known as the magnum opus of a bankrupt developer

MAX:
Your antics don’t make people laugh no more, old-timer
The only one in stitches is this Frankenstein from Fleischer
Your flick won big from a shot in the dark
But here, you’ll prove the Luger when you’re shot in the heart

ROGER RABBIT:
That tactic’s always funny! You’re knockin’ ‘em dead!
You couldn’t keep things fresh if a fridge was dropped on your head
You’ve got no sense of humour, you’re all daft and gloomy
I’d be more entertained watching Max and Ruby

Cover Art by Eddie
Written by Eddie
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by Tom Quick (of Audio Network)

NEXT BATTLE: Two Peas in a Cephalopod

Roger Rabbit vs Max - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Video coming mid-May!
I don't plan to use anime very frequently in this series, but this matchup was too good to pass up. The underwater invader of humanity Ika Musume from Squid Girl comes to blows with the fresh squid kid of Splatoon, Inkling. 

Azia as Ika Musume
garbageGothic as Inkling Girl

IKA MUSUME:
From the depths of the sea, I got an inkling of threats and
I won’t let your Turf Wars bring our armageddon
You’ve polluted your genre and now it’s time that I step in
It’s time to get Kraken! I’m the new Special Weapon!
Like Sanae, your childish game failed to woomy
So I won’t be outmatched this time - my plan will go smoothly
I’m accustomed to customers - serving sea creatures is easy
You can’t touch me! I’m scrubbing out this scrub like a Squee-G
This Splatfestering evolution of my kind’s a poor replacement
So i’ll make you ink yourself - you’ll require a cleaning, Agent!
Still want a resolution? Don’t try to take me on
You’re down to 720ps in a cephalopod
You’re a shrimpy little wimp no longer eaten up by fans
What good is a squid that can’t swim or make waves outside Japan?
(grrrr) This Inkling’s sinking in thinking she’ll spit hotter
This dissing’s your ink blotter to stick you in stillwater

INKLING:
Calm down there, sister. I think it’s time you grow up
You can’t face my massive growth when you’re stunned by beach blow-ups
Your anime’s unknown, my freshness is intact
When firing in rap, I'm leaving this shrimp splat
I’m heatin’ up this match, and yet you’re still in hat
You should really relax, take it off and kick back
Then you’ll catch a quick flash, your life is now entrapped
I’m leaving a wimp brat like her costume - ink sacked!
What are you, anyways? With that controllable hair
Are you another ARMS character trying to compare?
‘Cuz I’m passing with flying colours as I fire Splattershots amidst
You’re bombing and vomiting up your own ink as a condiment!
Secretly hated by all her so-called companions
This naive sucker belongs in the Octo Expansion
Sure, you failed at your invasion, but it’s really not that rough
You’ve already been pun-ished for finally taking a dub

IKA MUSUME:
Okay, you’ve put on a Shonen, but you’re not Off The Hook yet
With your racist tendencies from your octopus threats
For sea creatures, my mantra may be to be accommodating
But I’ll Sub-vert my morals here to drop this a-Bomb-ination

INKLING:
Got the Splatterscope on ya, your shots are like a Super Soaker
I’ll flatten your thick skull - call that a Crunchyroller
I’m a kid and a squid now, neither of which you ruled over!
Even the Gamepad was a more effective controller

Cover Art by Eddiefrb
Written by Eddiefrb
Audio Engineered by Freshy Kanal and Sebb
Prod. by Dansonn

NEXT BATTLE: Doggy Doggy What Now?

Ika Musume vs Inkling - Rap Battle(ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

bojack is the best cartoon of all time

Eric the Audible as Mr. Peanutbutter
Evava as Isabelle

Mancha as Mr. Resetti (CAMEO)


Mr. Peanutbutter (2 bar intro):
Woah, is that Isabelle? I wish I had’ve known!
What is this, an Animal Cross-over episode?

Mr. Peanutbutter:
They call me PB, the meaty MC from TV
Greetings! I’m pleased to meet the sweetie 3D queen, believe me!
But see here on the proceedings, they plead me to be a meanie
So I’ll weed this cheesy dweeb that’s the least of her beady species
This is Mr. Peanutbutter’s House! Your debt makes me whimper
You’re trapping children in contracts - Nook, Line and Sinker
My show displays the struggles in life - your game glorifies it
There’s nothing more than a gardening sim in your Horizons
(ohhh) So take your dream of mastering the track and bury it
‘Cuz you’re a secretary - not Secretariat
Your karaoke might have won over Twitter
But on the rung of a spitter, you’re just the runt of the litter
And with this flow i’m the Kapp’n, the bars I slung are way sicker
Than any twisted spleen or misdemeanor BoJack committed
Really, an island paradise? Your ideas have run out 
Am I your franchise? Because doggy doggy, what now?

Isabelle:
Goodness, Peanutbutter! That was quite the Town Tune
You know it’s customary for me to spit one back at you
I’m not one to drop my professional guise
But I’m takin’ after Raymond when dispensin’ a rhyme
(ayyy) This Tramp’s had too many Ladies at his spaghetti
(ayyy) With all that cheating, I oughta call up Resetti
(HEY!) This C-list actor don’t know the meaning of wealthy
Only green you’ve got is envy - Peanutbutter and Jelly

Mr. Peanutbutter:
(ugh) I really hate Shih Tzus - with all their passive behaviour
You best not make excuses for all your absences, failures 
You really ain’t who you would want your Town to call neighbor 
With your vacation juice and getting Smashed with the mayor
I’d say Izzy ain’t as innocent as she seems  
You’re the second kind of bell that I cannot stand in the least
*ding!* That’s all the time we’ve got - and while I wish you well 
Know that you’ll always be second to Carolyn - Silver Belles

Isabelle:
You get your flow from watering canned laughter
Tryna become a stand-up guy coddling panned actors
Your treatment of your friend Horseman is a hard sell
I wouldn’t be shocked if BoJack was behind your bars as well
And this is like your new design - no cap 
I find it ironic the Birthday Dad can’t rap
Can’t start a family either because no matter what you do
In the end, the only child in your household is you!
You’re a fad, dog - can’t get a laugh without lots of spunk
Bet this Sad Dog learned his Reactions from Dr. Shrunk
Your acting career living past Philbert is a damn crime
Your pilots get as much airtime as Dodo Airlines
Your paw print on Hollywoo’s honour ought to be on the Fritz
‘Cuz all in all, you’re honestly more toxic than chocolate is
I’m named after my hair - it’s the same for this mutt, too
They call you Peanutbutter cuz you’re nuts and I crushed you!

Written by Eddiefrb
Cover Art by Eddiefrb
Audio Engineered by Freshy Kanal and Sebb
Beat prod. by Kustom

NEXT BATTLE: Beginning to Feel like a Rockstar (4th of July Special)

Mr. Peanutbutter vs Isabelle - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Check out the (ANIMATED) video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKCxNmCLl7M

Jerry Flowers as Alastor
Alex as Siren Head

Siren Head:
I’m hailed as the patron saint of bad things coming
And it’s more than a moniker when I’m paired against a demon
Not talkin’ your Hotel when this has-been’s running
With his tail between his legs, ‘cuz I tear into a heathen
A deer is entering my woodlands - This greeting we hadn’t shook hands
Don’t need a rifle to hunt you for sport and then mount your noggin on a wood stand
You can’t handle what i’m bringing because Hell is so full
Got my ears ringing like you’re the telephone pole
Henderson’s hindering venison imps and your denizens think Siren Head’s in control

Alastor:
Are you pulling my leg? ‘Cuz I think I got a Charlie horse
Those bars are torturous, not even something I’d endorse
Rap battles are truly so much fun for me, Eddie
But if you were going to win, YOU WOULD’VE DONE SO ALREADY
Yes, I’m the big shot eldritch horror - ding dong and ditch on ya
Bring your best, come on, the thing from hell spits hotter
King of senseless slaughter - sins brought death and honour
Sing your siren song ‘cuz this one’s well a goner
Rejected as an SCP but you should stay contained
In the minds of children dumb enough to want to play your games
And before our station cuts back to Trevor’s commercial break
Best stay tuned for when I finish off this miserable mistake 

Siren Head:
It’s alarming, you suck more than a tornado
It seems that inside of every demon is a lame flow, take notes
Your pathetic pathos hate shows you’re not charming, hack
Ain’t seen a bigger animated pussy since Cartoon Cat
You should reflect how this battle goes - Ain’t been dissed this hard since Vaggie, bro
I’m edging closer and hell’ll freeze over when i’m serving Alastor a la mode
You’re off the air and off your rocker tryna fight me
When it comes to radio, you’re less deadly than 5G

Alastor:
Your mic is peaking - too bad it’s not your dissing skills 
My ears are bleeding - now I know how your victims feel
This trending fad will come to pass, I’ll continue my show’s run
Soon to sink back to the cemetery that you rose from

Written, Directed & Coverart by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by Anywaywell

NEXT BATTLE: Tomorrow Is Another Day (ft. Azia? & GamingPlush64)

Alastor vs Siren Head - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

VIDEO RELEASE OCTOBER 31st 3PM EST

GamingPlush64 as Salad Fingers
Azia as Marionette
Eddiefrb as Phone Guy (cameo)

Salad Fingers:
Hello..
They call me Salad Fingers - a mad distinguished chap
And i’m not ‘bout to Give Gifts with how I spit in rap
So come into my kitchen - there’s a fish in the back
Grill ya like Afton so that this kid cannot spring her trap
You’re not scary or special
Scott is more scared of his perilous schedule
Cranking out games just to carry a threshold
Milks you so hard, call you Marionettles
*deep breath* it’s not often that greed’ll
Turn a christian to a conman to shoppers 
but a deal was offered and Cawthon agreed
And then suddenly, POP! went your weasels, it’s awful
You’re such a tryhard, pleasuring off of fright caused
I’d say that you might want some therapy with your
Silly little wind bar making the player’s lives hard
and baiting out the nightguard like a Jeremy Fischer
On Firth impression honestly i’m not that threatened
Not to mention all that poppycock of your story’s connection
Led on and left gone by the retconned wrecked plot that Scott invented 
He left his audience guessing and let you rot in suspension

Phone Guy:
Hello, hello? You’re… Mr. Fingers, right?
You dodged out of the Great War... so it seems this is your first fight
I’ll give you a few pointers, so just keep sittin’ tight
But watch your back! ‘Cuz like FNaF 1 -

Marionette:
-I’m killin’ the Mike. *FNaF2 Jumpscare sound*
I’m hoppin’ out the box and crawlin’ down the halls
A monster on the prowl to hunt you down so best turn off your power, kid
Keep talkin’ out your ass, I’d call ya Salad Tosser
What’s a little tacky gross out horror to the modern internet’s jumpscare king
It sounds like you’re only rated R with an ASM in front of it
I would tell you to “stuff it” but judging from your head and limbs
That’s my job, this pathetic wimp’s a living Endoskeleton
A manic that’s as barren and disheveled as his residence
Who’s lame show caused less trauma than the Bite of 87 did
Lyrics or content, i’ve got the better flow - quit dropping bars and drop a new episode
Call it 4/20 cuz your leaves are getting smoked - you’re the crouton of the internet’s salad bowl
All of that Flash Animation is blinding poor David to proper showrunning ways
Got us all waiting for Episode 12 like “tomorrow is another day”


Salad Fingers:
Quit giving’ gifts to little kids and give some life to your withered disses
Come join my other friends, Puppet, I’m wicked with ventriloquism
You couldn’t police me with your whole database technology
Your rapping’s rusty… for once I hope it doesn’t rub off on me
The bars I write ought to hit, but it seems you’re the opposite
I suppose it’s no surprise that Lefty is non-dominant
And I would say your soul’s less free than if this puppet was a sock
You’re just another broken shard that I will lock back in their box

Marionette:
Your familial trauma left scars more than a mask covers
The sands of time won’t smooth out all the horrors of Glass Brother
Were poor in the past, and now have no porridge to pass mother
No drawer’s there to patch that now a flesh boy is all that loves ya
This lunatic is more crooked than his back and it’s strange that you’d even hop upon a track to spit
But it seems that your flow is just another inanimate object that you’re interacting with
You’re detached from reality and this battle was your last chance
So try to mend your relationships, but SAVE THEM - you can’t.


Directed by Eddiefrb
Written by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental prod. by Anywaywell and Freshy Kanal
Salad Fingers Illustrated by CyanCoat

Salad Fingers vs Marionette - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Releasing exactly one week early, due to the imminent release of my 2020 Album "The Obsidian Collection". Be sure to stream on your music platform of choice.

Zawesome as Jack Skellington
Mancha as Sans

Jack Skellington:
Greetings, good fellow, now don’t be abhorred, abhorred
I’m not a human child, we’re not at war, at war
Slim and shady, the Pumpkin King’s track roars, track roars
I’m beginning to feel like a rap gourd, rap gourd
Whether slacking your post or you’re cracking a joke
You’re average at most, and your passiveness shows
When you’re tasked to dispose of a ravenous foe
But you let ‘em go past and attack on your bro cuz you’re asked by a goat that you don’t know?
Then you turn into a basket case loner
And I’ll be dunking you off the backboard, backboard
To battle is witless cuz this Jack is a Ripper
My friend, you couldn’t wear the SOULs out on the back of your slippers
I’ll leave you bent out of shape like italics, so listen
I’m an icon! The only Star you are is Patrick, you misfit!
You’re looking big boned and awfully flimsy
You’d turn to dust just going down a chimney
Shaking kid’s hands? Man, you’re getting too Frisky
My bars are serving you harder than Grillby’s
I’m like a Jack O’ Lantern - my legacy’s keeping lit
But judging by your boss fight - you’re used to sleeper hits

Sans:
Heya. You’ve been busy, huh? This isn’t the first of your rapping jests
Bud, if you’re stepping to me, you’re really not gonna like what happens next
I’m leaving your sins crawling down your back and neck
This showman is less professional than my text
It’s time for your judgement, so hope you pass the test
Sounds like on the track you’re a True Pacifist
Listen Jack, you’re a classic but not flawless
You’re a facet, a mascot of Hot Topic
But couldn’t capture the masses, you’re not popping
And gonna crash like it’s Jack-in-the-box office
Looking back to the rabbit you held hostage
You should’ve asked ‘bout the crafting of hip hopping
Even Alphys’ Lab in the Hotland
Couldn’t bring you back after how hard this brat’s fallen
You’re a reckless ruler that your town is Tim Burdened with
Your plot’s more stitched together than your girlfriend is
I’m thankful that Asgore is just a passive king
You leave your citizens burning in Halloween
Kidnapping Santa? Cultural appropriation?
Even my costume in Smash was better representation
So stop all your carols - this monarch’s in peril
A hotshot as bare as his snob goth apparel
I’ll knock knock on your little sock hop and fire my shots off,
Like my name was Lock, Shock and Barrel


Jack Skellington:
Even on a beat, this skeleton just has flat lines
With bars like that, I’m asking - do you wanna have a bad rhyme?
You started a prankster like loosey-goosey
But you turned to a sad sack like Oogie Boogie
If you stand and do nothing, you’ll rot and you’ll suffer
I’m killing this beat - you can call it your brother
I’ll give you this - among preteen children, you’re sure successful
How ironic, you went from underground to surface level
I’m lighting you up like my top pup
Compared to Sandy Claws, you’re washed up
I may be the pumpkin, but Chara
Left you the only one who’s carved up

Sans:
Once a year you appear hyped up by nobody
Popping up like you’re a glorified So Sorry
All just to terrify children 
Your film should’ve come with a trigger-treat warning, you’re so boring
This no name’s growth became only respectable three decades later, don’t gloat up your fame
You hoped and you prayed about all of the dough you could make on opening day
But nobody came. 
Bud, check the legacy I’ve developed
My game crushes your Rotten Tomatoes, you’ll never ketchup 
And with my sequel, my franchise is sure to make it
While you’ll end up like your employees - filled with de-termination

Written by Eddiefrb
Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental prod. by Dansonn and Freshy Kanal
Jack Skellington Illustrated by BMB
Sans Illustrated by Shaunt

Jack Skellington vs Sans - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: Chapter 1 Finale)

Reupload. Last upload got taken down and my appeal didn't go through.

Azia as Peridot
Lil Secks as The Flatwoods Monster

Peridot:

*ahem* Here’s the drill, you corrupted cryptid
I’m sure to leave a burnt metallic odor inflicted
On this twisted thing so it can’t cause humans harm
By removing this clodpated owl from my barn!
*Peridot grumbling noises* Not a stretch to erect you defective
When even your very permanence comes into question
When Pumpkin warned me of a danger - I assumed it would be that
Not a Braxton brat left like his name and fame - Flat!


The Flatwoods Monster:

Is your win’s existence evident? Let’s gather the evidence
You drone on more than those that defend your residence
Homeworld’s logic is astounding - they’ve made an Era 2
I’ll be taking Lapis out of your life - you’re feeling blue
Shud a Lil’ Butler step up in this bout
I’ll prove you’re not unique - I cast the shadow of a doubt
Staring sadly at the figure your irate dog ate
While your Campy Pining Heart couldn’t even keep a Log Date

Peridot:

I don’t think my Message was Received, judging by your torment
You just keep spitting things that get flushed down the toilet
The point is - I’m prevailing in this verbal Gem War
So I order you to get out my dimension, 10 4?
You’d like a Log Date, wouldn’t ya? Got a thing for tree trunks
But now the Flatwoods Monster’s unable to touch stumps
*NYEHEHEH!* That Will Be All, you Flatwoods clod
There will be no escape pod when displayed as a fraud

The Flatwoods Monster:

Towering over this Mistake, like my name was Yellow Diamond
When I’m spitting fire balls to leave this Breakfast Friend Crying
Don’t get con-fused, prude, when you’re blacked out and and caked in goo
I sighted Doritos and Mountain Dew fused, it was you!
Step out of your Uni-verse and face me in tangibility
For I shall spare this Clusterf*** due to her lack of ability
So you can save your “wow, thanks” and your feeble skills from Steven
Before I leave you and this battle cut clean like cleavage..