Ego Rap Battles

Cover art by: Cidisswo
YT link: https://youtu.be/SrpFrzgsdME?si=fGHuqH3SymB5l3so

egomanic as both voice
Written by egomanic

Lyrics: 

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Yeah) try to catch the wave, and drown in my flow
Cuz mine is hard to swallow you’re a soft drink like coke
Why don’t you pass me a cigarette, im asking for smoke
Give a cowboy his magazine, this gat’ll unload, so
Mic pilot with the rhymes i'm freestyling 
Stacking my piles high in the sky, supplies rising 
Dropping by lines right on the fly like skydiving 
While you tried diving into the night and died trying 
Hijacked off in the cockpit since dishonorable discharge 
Till you dropped and the rocks hit, now you’re never gettin them off (Uh) 
We are not the same, i'm not on your plane
Inspired by the first 3d show host, while you got no game 
Mask on, not a trace while all the cops can spot your face
I’m on your case, going off unlike the bomb that's on your case 
Uh uh, sorry cooper but today is not your day
Come to get me i’ll just turn the other cheek and walk away

[D.B. Cooper]
I don't like funny stuff, but i have some notes
This is a rap battle, I expected actual jokes
Wanna talk about catching smoke?
I drop bombs, max, listen to the raps I wrote, it goes
Briefcase empty took 200k with me 
Got the job done, for 50 years remained missing
Placed whiskey orders, called the shots, escaped quickly
Stuck the landing and I even made it back for thanksgiving
You never left no evidence but it's evident
I made my mark, your love faded into irrelevance
Rebelled against PBS with your obscene scenes
But it seems, your messages are as obscured as your references (Ay!)
Ruffled some feathers then i flew the cooper
You broadcast fetish cosplay: D.B. Gooner
So go ahead and throw hands and get chucked like Swirsky
I kept mine clean while your gloves got dirty

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Ohhhh)
I’m a rap god, bro think he the unabomber 😂
You bargain Bin Laden: Osama lama duma lama
You made some bank and then the banks became your treasury
So I’ll make this air pirate “see the X” because he’s dead to me

[D.B. Cooper]
(Ugh)
Your heads in the clouds if you think your verse phased me
First class? Nah, you dressed like the first lady
I cover my tracks well but this time the FBI will find
Your airtime is up, but you didn’t leave a tie behind…

D.B. Cooper vs Max Headroom Hijacker - Ego Rap Battles

Ego as Jake and Logan Paul
ForgottenSon as Mike Tyson
Written by: Ego
Beat by: Teimunity
Mixed by: Jordy
Cover Art by: Cidisswo


LYRICS:

[Jake Paul]
Hunnid grand, everyday bro, another bag
If it’s Tyson Imma fry him, ohio fried chicken, like the nugget brand
All your fans gon’ want they money back
Like the IRS, debt’s what you rack
Passed the competition, iron (i run) laps around mike, like i was Evan’ (a van/evan) id slap you)
How the fuck I on park south with a southpaw in a rap brawl
Need a better fuckin stance dawg, if you wanna dance, keep your pants on
Disneyland flow’s what you channel, but this shits about to get a lot worse
With the way you Neil deGrasse (kneel to grass) Tyson, turned the weed farm to a god church

[Mike Tyson]
Someone tell Jake he gonna need some insurance, cuz I’m gonna go for the throat
But like Logan Paul you ain't out of the woods yet, till after i show you the ropes
Corny ass Little Mac Lethal, I know that none of the shit that you got is your own
But fuck please forgive me, you’re not Eminem, you’re more like a “we got Jack Harlow at home”
(Ding ding) Hear the bell sound
Ain’t Dirk dares, but you scared now
Leave him sleeping on the floor like team 10
You the Walmart mr dream, kid
Beefing with a vegan, will be devastating
This the last mis-steak that you’ll be ever making
Like I’m Hearn, get this hearing settled, make it
Like I bit his ear, this shit is deaf-amation

[Logan Paul]
YOOOOOOOOOOO BROOOO U GOOD??? 

[Jake Paul]
Bro???

[Logan Paul]
Damn bruh I'm so glad you're okay, I thought you were done for…

[Jake Paul]
I’m down for the count, you must avenge me brother. This is so not litty… 

[Logan Paul]
Shh, second verse is coming SECOND VERSE!! 
LOGANG, can’t compete with this FLOW GAME, dab on haters 
Like a glass of joe shattered opponents you’ve faced with 
But ain’t beat him or those allegations ‼️
Old ass man, hope you got your prescriptions 
Iron mike nah you iron deficient (YUP)
Out your Prime, shit was limited time 
Now I’ll drop the mic, link in the description! (MAVERICK!)
Weed smell loud as fuck

[Jake Paul]
Is that ya boys cologne?
Lisp like cartman, if we catch you on park south “I’m going home”
Mama in the brothel, but addiction’s a hard pill to swallow

[Logan Paul]
Like you Can’t decide whether to hit your wife or hit the bott-

[Tiger]
*tiger eats logan* (AHHHHHHHH)

[Mike Tyson]
Thought I was down for the count, huh? Should know by now that you can’t do it
Got me thinking when you gon’ learn? same thing all your fans was asking with Edfluence
Now you creeping on kids, I hear
That’s not cool, your fans might get sick ideas
You ain’t got the sauce, lil Disney punk 
I like my bars dissy, bruh!
So “So sorry” ain't gonna cut it, keep talking dirty to me, Jake, I LOVE IT
Your whole career is a series of several severe and continuous lapses of judgment
Jake be nimble but he’ll never hold a candle
So keep throwing shade but you’ll never escape your brothers shadow

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson - Ego Rap Battles

Ego as Blitzo (and Moxxie)
Ego as Mr. Boss
Written by: Ego
Beat by: David Arcade
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Elizalkin

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

BLITZO!!!!

VS!!!!

MR BOSS!!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Blitzo]
Oh great! just the guy I wanted to see!
Your dad in law, Satan’s asshole is talking to me!
Crushing my musical dreams, like when you hop on a beat
(But sir… he hasn't rapped yet)
Shut the fuck up moxxie!! (right! sorry sir)
Hi bitch, I’m Blitzo, the O is silent
Like spamtopia, you can kiss my eyes, prick!
You think playing DDR makes you look hardcore?
You just look like a reeee-ally can't say that no more…

[Mr. Boss]
MMMMMMM… I heard you’re good with guns
But wow, you didn’t even hit me once! (Haha!)
Get lost Helluva Boss, stick to jokes, and
Fuck you and the horse boxers that you rode in!
Did Vivzie-pop pills before she made your scripts?
Anagram of nose candy? TAKE THE GODDAMN PILL “IMP!!!!” (HULLIBA HULLIBA)
You lost the plot, now your relationships are taking hits
Finger on the trigger, call this magazine a paper clip!

[Blitzo]
Alright, McAfee enough with the firewall shit
We have a door, now get yourself the FUCK out of my office!
Hey prude! I know you heard me, oh, piss off, dick
Like Alan, I'll hand your ass back to you, you don’t want this
So try me bitch, i ain't buying all your mess
You’ll never find success, your company sucks ass
I.M.P. clown posse, bitch, move to the side
Five-head-ass looking like Pennywise’s human disguise 

[Mr. Boss]
Ermm… I love my boys to bits, no dip!
If you think your employees like you, ignorance IS Blitz!
And while I got that dog in me, your pooch is a bitch
Who tried to knock your lights out, like a Loona eclipse (*mic feedback*)
Blitzo, Blitzo, what does it mean? 
Blitzo, Blitzo, lost everything
From Fizzarolli to his mommy in his miserable life
But relax, after I kill you, I’ll let you keep the knife!


Blitzø vs Mr. Boss - Ego Rap Battles

Ego as Granny 
Ego as Grandpa
TheToppo as The Warden
Beat by: Sapjer and Bross
Written by: Ego, lowkdoodles and jordy
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

GRANNY!!!!

VS!!!!

THE WARDEN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Granny]
(laughs) ugh I am your granny, this hack I am hacking and slashing 
And with this bat, your head I will bash in, show you im batshit, like pepper spray: can it
Downloads go up like attics, The Warden, oh hes just so rancid
And on the track, im dropping bear traps, so how could you match up? you’re already half dead
You should respect your elders, or join the rest of my helpers (Hhh, hhh)
Is it a suprise that I’m better? The one with the spider came up on the web first
Beware, granny is no fable, I’m heavy metal like a Granny smithing table
You wont find MY keys, Warden, wanna play hide and seeeeeek?
Aint one to be played with, I keep the player in the basement
But with the way your updates went, you left your fans in the deep dark, but that aint what your player base meant!
Want a war then warden? Battle me, you’re cooked
Make like angelene and book
And you shouldn’t feel too bad you haven’t any ears
You havent made noise in the fandom in years
After this bat-tery its lights out, unless you want you be ground, you should burrow back into it right now
And the only reason that you got more power than the enderdragon is that in the end you're draggin all your fights out
You couldn't beat me with your TV tropes, sir 
Keep your E rating I’ll stick with DV Loper
You got 2 verses left so try to talk back
And we’ll who’s really immune to knockback

[Warden]
Yo granny it’s past your bedtime
Lay victims to bed but you can’t lay a rhyme
I’m glad that I’m blind so I cant see your games shit design
Your textures are more pixelated than mine
Your names funny, youre not a grandma, youre a dang mummy
In your lil’ red santa hat, feeling all festive-like
Watch me grab my catalyst and check it twice *skulk sound*
For like 5 days, you were trending
Then you went to shit like your franchise took the sewer ending
I dug out, when you’re up to bat
Its ironic, a Grammy would suck at rap (ahh)
And If I were you, Id be driven
Instead of cars, to fix your lighting engine
No eyes, one look at me scares all the children
You’re a phone game, I'm THE out of pocket addition
Slendrina, I’ll take you to school
But like your model they should have gave you the boot
And I wouldn’t sweater, go back to your knitting club, 
Tick me off and the grandfather is getting clocked
You would eat crow in a cage fight 
This is your last chance, like day 5 
Couldn’t even hit your own target audience
Out of ammo and aimless, as your AI 

[Grandpa and Granny]
(AHA!) No wrench but you might be screwed
Better bolt or ill send you the “ICU” 
When I swing it you know it’s such a sweet sensation
Even Marky Mark rapped better good vibrations
I’ve never heard a verse that left me more bored
Best watch your step like The Creaking. Floorboards.
Can’t you see why you Diana (die and i) live?
If you don’t want smoke, than stay out the crib!

[Warden]
We both have underground societies
But your following is counting down, like hide and seek
Your dental plan’s a disturbing signt
Use them white pearl eyes for some pearly whites
Hit the cutting room floor, once the remakes phased you out
Kids left you behind and now the retirement home is granny’s house

Granny vs The Warden (Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

Grasman as Vox
Mochi as Karen
Stasious as Vox’s Camera Operators
Duplighost as Plankton
Beat by: ToneJonez
Written by: Ego
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

VOX!!!!

VS!!!!

KAREN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Vox]
Here at VoxTek, you trust us with your info
But uhh, I barely know enough about yours to diss, though
I'm the new status quo, quid pro quo is your status
When you pay your costumers to eat your husbands fucking crap sticks
I'm the manager, Karen, I make the big bucks
But like you in your failing marriage, I dont give fucks
Your rapping software will crash, when you hear my bars like Val
Because I am going SO hard right now 
Chip dipped cuz you couldn't be a mom
Your secret formula is dying, find a new format
Red dot on K, so turn the TV on, TURN THE TV ONNNNN
You're second place, I’m the shit that comes before that!

[Karen]
(KAREN, what did i say about rap battles with the TV, huh?)
*sigh*, it's too bad you don't have a mute button like he does
(Come on! I wrote your whole programming you know, and still heard less beeps)
Than what? the censored version of your show?
Sorry, I think you mistook me for someone who gives a *EEEEE*
Here the soulless sinners usually work across the street
And you could have had all of pentagram city in your grasp
But you’re 1% evil, 99% hot ass!
You can dust my screen, you dont wanna fuck with me!
I'll take the letter after Vee, while you bleed like a plasma screen
Voiced by a Christian, but you’ll never see the gates above
Cuz you’ve got a face that not even a motherboard could love!

[Vox (to the tune of stayed gone)]
(Cameras rolling in 6,5,4) Welcome home!
Plankton gave you the boot and you Stayed Gone
Say hello, to a new rapping flow
Everyone knows that your show is washed, Turn the PC OFFFF (rolling in 3, 2, 1)
I'm a cold blooded shark, you roll on thin ice, bitch
You should know, I'm fucking used to crushing mobile devices
You're leagues beneath this overlord, The V's fucking tower
But even I can't hypnotize- (Your fans to take a shower?) (UGHHHHHHH)
Fuck you little miss bleeping heart, l'll show you suffering!!!
(Mmm… this anchor has no arms but the TV’s buffering!)
I'll destroy you!!!!!! (Oooh, I'd like to see you try :))
You miserable failure!!! you’re gonna fucking die!!!!
*power goes out*

[Karen]
This wayward sinner doesn’t have a way with words
If your network doesn’t pull the plug than you should do it first
You and your 2-inch short circuit can both make your exit
Pursuing allure, but you’re as insecure as Microsoft Edge is
Wifey with the wifi, I’m rocking the track
While you would lose all your bars at the drop of a hat
But I’ll give you props, your flow sure put me through hell to listen
You’re a sheldon of your former self, now that's good television!
*laughing hysterically* SHELDON (KARENNNN!!!!!)

Vox vs Karen (Hazbin Hotel vs SpongeBob) - Ego Rap Battles

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom (Eddsworld) vs Herobrine - Ego Rap Battles

Soundcloud account for the YouTube channel egomanic aka Ego Rap Battles

Ego Rap Battles

Egomanic