should you hold down your two fingers down with your thumb or hold your thumb down with your two fingers?

prod. https://youtube.com/channel/UC0oGcZfAZaOby4FVubPcrFQ

combat boots (prod. skellington)

produced by irby and jolst

mixed and mastered by luke seeley (flowers for you)

will you still keep me in mind when he holds you like i did the last time our eyes locked?
miss the way our hands intertwine
i hope i cross your mind in the warm sunshine

seclusion, unwarranted exclusion
can't help but think of what you're doing, but i gotta keep it moving
now the only way to admire is afar cause straits are dire
so i'll just stay at home cause i know youre sick and tired
used to slam with the best, now i jam like the rest
after all your detests i just wish you were on my chest

don't wanna go back to searching for you in everyone, i just wanna be the one you wanna call your only one.
and i know that we said that we were both just having fun, but life without you seems much worse than staring down a loaded gun.
you were the one for me, i let you slip away.
it eats me alive, makes me wanna die. i miss you more every day.
wishing for you on falling stars, still i wonder where you are.
i hope i cross your mind in the warm sunshine.

keep me in mind (prod. irby x jolst)

i hate it here, but if u support me i love u sm.
v v v
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away 
emptychest <3
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
(needa get a job but i..)
(always hit my line for me..)
(ur fine for me..)
well i dont..
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth..
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away..


it hurts so much to be here <3

what ive become (noxiousnights x jolst)

last single off new EP out 11/5!!

featuring the great @decksmusic

produced by @livingpuffy

lyrics:
i’m not stupid 
i can feel it setting in
i’m just paralyzed 
while i’m staring at the edge 
and on one hand i still think it might begin 
but this afterglow is still wearing thin 

and this all ain’t 
how it used to be 
and i’m wondering
what it meant to me 
take my hand and i’ll meet you at the end 
but before you go give me one more glance

(decks)
i just wanna see the end of the tunnel
life sucks when u live in a bubble
i just really gotta get it straight
pass time in a somber state
when the walls are closing in
i need to breathe before i swim
pretend that the times are good again
in the same ways
yeah, and when i finally take a stand
hope that they’ll see me as a friend
or maybe someone instead
of nothing

one more glance (feat. decks)[prod. living puff]

prod heydium <3

lyrics: 

yeah i struggle a lot with myself
i spend a lot of time stuck in this hell
caught up between realities
i try not to become another victim of mentality
but i tell you what..
this life is slowly killin me

da da da da
this shits too much
da da da da 
like i rlly give af?

how do i make this something real?
i fuck with the aesthetic
i just dont get the appeal...
and its kinda fuckin me up
hardly livin wit the liquor and the drugs
this life has never been enough
i hate myself and it fuckin sucks
yeah its been so long man, stuck in this rut
i could die tomorrow
yeah, nobody give af 

yeah nobody give af...
nobody give af...

NOBODY GIVE AF

Spotify

nobody give af [+heydium]

just the beginning...
@jolst // @pekarot_161 // art by @ejcarrmusic

lyrics:

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive

cuz i’ve been kind
i’ve given patience u dont deserve
i’ve followed trails to the core of this earth
i’m reading books cuz i never fucking learn
you’ve run a fine line too long this time
i gotta move on im sure im right
cuz it was nice with u here
i’ll be fine with u gone
i don’t like all this fear
you should just move along

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

time, wasting time 
but you don’t realize 
what you don’t realize 
these are the days of our lives
you got caught up in your lies 
emotions trapped inside your minds 
hidden behind a disguise
now its too late for goodbyes

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive..

hangitup [jolst x pekarot]

spotify & apple music!

listen on spotify plz

u did dis 2 mee (dercept & jolst)

Featuring @ihateshinigami
Produced by @horoshavibes
Art by Kat (artstation.com/katieimbro)

LYRICS
I've been living in a dream for far too long
Desperately in need of
Someone to wake me up
Stuck in a state of
Suspended animation
Can't escape this simulation
And it's getting harder just to fake it

Nothing seems to stimulate me
And all the while I'm deteriorating
Feel like everybody hates me
Can't get out of my head
 
I've seen the world for what it is and I'm not convinced
There's gotta be something more to all of this
If ignorance is bliss than I
Am living in a paradise

(Horosha)
If all of this is just a dream
Then what visions will we see
When we wake up
Do I even want to know

(shinigami)
I’ve been living in a dream
Everything feels so far from me
I can’t tell if I’m asleep
I just really need you here next to me

And I just wanna give you the best of me
Butterflies every time that you’re texting me
Sick and tired of turning in my sheets
Lately it’s been really hard to breathe

I can’t take this anymore
Hands to my chest I’m on the floor
Wanna live a good life ‘cause this shit’s short
That’s one thing I know for sure

Listen on Spotify!

Suspended Animation w/ shinigami (Prod. Horosha)

EPITOME:

i-i-i-i-i try to forget the past 
but it just keep bringing me back
n-n-n-no we didn’t  know how this would last
is it funny to you to see my life shatter like glass
t-t-t-the world around me left me broken and scarred
don’t be surprised when i’m dead in the dark
these lonely feelings that i can’t shake

oh god
when will i break

(epitome & casperrr)

all of these feelings 
what is the meaning
i struggle every day to keep on living and breathing 
at this point i’ll be dead hanging from the ceiling 

i’ve been so alone
got no where to go
not even a home
walking down this lonely road
no hands to hold
i’m really on my own
it haunts me to know 
that i can’t let 

c-c-cant let
GO
of the past

it haunts me to know 
it haunts me to know

CASPERRR:

u keep haunting me in my sleep
n u keep haunting in my dream
i thought u were mine to keep 
but nothings really what it seems 
everything is black and white 
so much shit that i can fix
the only coloured thing is lean

dirty sprite makes me feel fine
all this buzz man am so high
did i lose weight i feel light
do you still remember thst night

it haunts me to know w/ casperrr (cl6udy x yunny goldz)

produced by @splashgvng & @1yeezo
featuring @skrxwd & @splashgvng
engineered by @marcdoesmusic

LYRICS
(You're not sad again, are you, splashgvng?)

Been a couple months, you've been gone
I've been moving on, you been doing wrong
Got drunk with your friends and a tat that you regret
And you fucked up hooking up with homie at the CVS
Now you're hitting up my phone
Telling me that you were wrong
Pulling up in my driveway
And saying it's my way
And maybe inside, I've
Been hoping you'd come by
And lie to your friends while they give me the side eye

I still need you like you need me
Woke up still drunk and I'm hazy
You're gone but you still suffocate me
You can use me, you can, you can use me
I still need you like you need me
Woke up still drunk and I'm hazy
You're gone but you still suffocate me
You can use me, you can, you can use me

Here we go again, everything feels the same now
Take another shot, won’t stop 'til I pass out
She’s the only one to make me wanna act out
All new fit, bitch, I’m blacked out
Made a mess, in my head,
Put me up on a shelf
And every time I hear your name
I feel like I'm in a cell
You can blame it on timing
You know where to find me,
Stuck somewhere between nicotine and caffeine
The thought of you is always hiding in the shadows
Everyone around me says I'm acting like an asshole
Consumed by my thoughts, watch the time go
And I can’t feel a thing, spent a rack though
Really wish that you didn’t have to go home
Another night of loving you before you let go
Why you gotta fuck with my head for?
Like, for real

It's like, literally, all the fucking time,
You just hit me up, and you're like,
"Oh wow I miss you" and like, "you're so important to me"
But then, you're on the side, fucking talking to other dudes
And fucking like, hollering at people

I still need you like you need me
Woke up still drunk and I'm hazy
You're gone but you still suffocate me
You can use me, you can, you can use me
I still need you like you need me
Woke up still drunk and I'm hazy
You're gone but you still suffocate me
You can use me, you can, you can use me

use me (feat. Skrwd & splashgvng)

lyrics
-------------------------
yeah i think that its time to break up
i can see that ur mad as fuck, 
but i’ve had enough of ur toxic love
got me so fucked up & i’m jaded

can we start over? can we run it back?
hell nah no way, that shits dead
& you said that i’m breaking my promise
maybe that’s true but im just being honest

gas me up then
tear me down
im not the same
i killed myself
old me’s dead & he’s 6ft under
everybody better run for cover

always in the backround
still all black now
gettin too faded that i always black out
had me in a chokehold, so i hadda tap out
my word don’t mean shit when i always back out

sometimes i feel like i’m stuck in time
guess im the one that got left behind
tryna pick up the pieces again
but maybe i could just use a friend

yeah i think that its time to break up
i can see that ur mad as fuck, 
but i’ve had enough of ur toxic love
got me so fucked up & i’m jaded

can we start over? can we run it back?
hell nah no way, that shits dead
& you said that i’m breaking my promise
maybe that’s true but im just being honest

gas me up then
tear me down
im not the same
i killed myself
old me’s dead & he’s 6ft under
everybody better run for cover

a void inside that i cant fill
it makes me feel so empty
the voice inside says one more pill
don’t tempt me

-

can we start over? can we run it back?
hell nah no way, that shits dead
& you said that i’m breaking my promise
maybe that’s true but im just being honest

gas me up then
tear me down
im not the same
i killed myself
old me’s dead & he’s 6ft under
everybody better run for cover

break up! [prod. SyphonBeatz x Perish]

new album 'for better or worse' releasing March 24th!!

one more glance (feat. decks)[prod. living puff]

evan carr

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