God like beat, and soothing to listen to, really nice

Breeze

Lyrics:

I’m tryna go at your pace but it’s hard when I wanna tell you
That I’m in too deep and I get afraid that I might ever have to go through 
Another rough patch but with you I can never shake off a good mood 
Haven’t said it before so heres my official “I love you”

I’ll send it once you’ve said it a bit more vocally 
An attempt to put my words together as a compliment to your poetry
All the beauty you contain it’s hard to react appropriately 
Feel like your number one fan cause my heart drops whenever you notice me

It’s hard to express over the phone when I’m overwhelmed emotionally 
I’m so fucking in love and Imma make u shine like how it’s supposed to be 

I know you may feel that your baggage can weigh a ton
There’s been a few in my life who’s damage made me wanna run

I can reassure you that the comfort from being in your arms is enough to make the blood rush
To my cheeks and you can probably tell anytime you hear my heart thump

Can list a million reasons of how I trip and fall into your love
And if you took those all away I’d still say that your being is enough

Love & Suicide

For Hayden

Lyrics:

Happy thoughts I cannot find you
Loneliness I pay much mind to
What do I... do?

Half the shit I come up with is bad
Scared I’m fucking up my body with the bodies I’ve had
Scared to get checked- got seven on me 
1 with rubber the other ones I let free

Scared to admit I’ve been abusing nicotine 
Convinced I can put it down but when I get checked I’ll see
Brushing off the things that should matter to me
No one else really like this in my family tree

I guess that I’m the one exception 
Still have yet to check to see if I have depression 
Belittle everything and take time to arrange a chord progression 
Wonder if I got anything if It would make me learn a lesson

Maybe I’m embarrassed to see a therapist 
Think as long as I keep going I can live some glamorous 
Type of life and never have to think twice About my actions 
something bad occurs justify the phrase life happens

Wonder if I was born with a cult mentality 
My circle got some real issues and live in my reality 
Meanwhile I’m running fucking fast to try and chase that salary
I shouldn’t be leading a group like a head of a faculty

Hopefully the toxic relationships run short 
I’ll probably lose my mind soon and end up in a psych ward 
Eat a bullet, jump a cliff- I guess that either works 
Hard to relate with other people who have trouble using words 

I’m afraid Imma die alone
I’m afraid that I might let go
I think that I wanna return home
Change the channel I fucking hate this show

Wonder if I brush off my suicidal thoughts 
Only time it’s worthy to bring up is when I write a new song
If I’m a leader figure then who’s gonna ask me what’s wrong 
Some self-sufficiency will hopefully put me on

Wonder what the fuck my fucking family thinks 
Try to separate them from hearing everything that I think
I guess whoever’s out there- you’re my receiving end of therapy 
Eating my deadly words like crunching on a cherry seed

Here’s some cyanide- have I brainwashed you yet 
I’m a fucking victim in my god given god
complex 
Soon to breach a hundred songs and I won’t stop yet
Until I get out every thought I feel the need to project 

Somehow unfulfilled and fucking scared that I’m a clown
Making music no one cares about like I’m not making a sound
I’m fucking money hungry Need to feel something this brings me alive 
another chord to cum and add the drums to get me high

HAPPY THOUGHTS

Lyrics:

 don’t think I can manage
I’ve been on a new distant planet
Been tryna find new ways of transit
They cannot handle me being candid

Captain of the plane that hadn’t landed
Flying through emotions- I been going off a tangent
getting dead high in the sky like a phantom
Captain holding myself captive asking for help call it suicidal ransom

 been sinking to the ground my man
Don’t tell no one that I got dark plans
The sad part is I don’t want your hand
I Still got thoughts of that last year’s plan

Ashamed to feel affected by something that shouldn’t matter
Fuck up a good friendship by feeling the need to have her
My friends all have my back and I’m scared that I do not have their’s
I’m vocal about being emotional but too emotional to last forever 

Been through all of these hardships
Bitch I’m living life by the largest
Man fuck all ya’ll who tryna start shit
Do not shoot my shots at weak targets

Don’t got time for a bitch who lurking
Don’t got time for a bitch who guarded
Don’t got time for a bitch who barring
don’t got time for a bitch who barking

Do not got time for all this fuck shit
rather have my phone dry like Funyuns 
My eyes water like there were onions
got my bitches hot out of the oven

Got my bitches straight out the coven
brush that spell off like it was nothing
Bitches love when I give them tips I kid,
 we just both love assumptions, ah shit

Have Her

Lyrics:

I want you more than anyone else and I feel so lonely 

Gotta Lotta love with a stone cold heart
To tell you how I’m feeling I don’t know where to start
Fingers must be slipping if I can’t catch your heart
I don’t seem to say much I should do my part

But I don’t- I still feel lost and confused 
I think I’d really rather be lost with you
I’m Having dreams vivid scenes and the vision comes through
Passing through time I gotta make you mine soon

I sit down and ponder for a bit 
Consistent regrets of my decision to call quits 
Drugs could really numb the fun times that are gone 
Running in circles chasing tail for so long 

Thinking we can settle down and I can make this shit right 
She said I couldn’t settle down but now I’ll sit tight 
Watching her walk around in my favorite slim tights 
I’m falling for you again and this time I’ll get right

WANT YOU

dont know (feat. Ktxas, Jawan, kisual, and Peteylove)

Lyrics:

I find myself not feeling a thing 

Oh no I just broke another heart again 
Sorry but I think we should try to start as friends 

Oh no- I just fucked up
Been a whole damn year of a bunch of fuck ups
Been more slumped than a loaded double cup
If love worked out for me than my music would suck

Bitch- have no fear
Washed up asshole with a keyboard is here
Here to tell you that he love you a lot 
Friends wanna tell me which ex is hot 

I think I have trouble with trust 
Your friends are right- I’m a terrible crush
Don’t worry I wear my heart on a sleeve too 
You sound lovely and I hope I never meet you

Still gonna ride me like a pedal bike
Nah still gonna ride me like a fucking elliptical 
Still gonna drive me through the fucking roof
Nah still gonna drag me through the fucking ozone

Feeling a thing

Lyrics:

There’s only one way out that’s guaranteed 
don’t wanna admit I’m close to death it’s embarrassing 
All the notes that I made just in case I pass 
To leave my friends and family all alone is harder to grasp

I don’t belong here it’s hard to come to terms
I don’t belong here if it’s quick it won’t hurt 
I don’t belong here I want my fucking head to burst 
I don’t belong here, I don’t belong here 

Please get out the fucking way
I wanna reach heavens gate 
I don’t wanna stay 
I got my fucking mind made up now it’s too late 

Get out the fucking way
I wanna reach heavens gate 
I don’t wanna stay 
I got my fucking mind made up now it’s too late 

I’m standing on stilts 
Thoughts are making it harder to try to hide all the guilt
Only thing strong about me is my suicidal will
I try to prevail, inevitably fails

But- fuck- still, my clock will run out
Cause it still feels like there’s nothing left for me to cling on to now
I don’t want help- I’m too consumed with my doubts 
Fuck therapy I’m directing efforts to take my own route 

Don’t watch me. I’m scared of what you might think.
It’s so much harder to stay afloat when its easy to sink 
I’m getting nothing done. Fucking chasing pipe dreams. 
Can’t cling to no one. Robbed myself esteem. 

Please get out the fucking way
I wanna reach heavens gate 
I don’t wanna stay 
I got my fucking mind made up now it’s too late 

Get out the fucking way
I wanna reach heavens gate 
I don’t wanna stay 
I got my fucking mind made up now it’s too late 

Get out the fucking way
I wanna reach heavens gate 
I don’t wanna stay 
I got my fucking mind made up now it’s too late 

I’m too filled up with shame 
Convinced that being dead will be the only way I feel sane 
Too Tortured with regrets I can’t carry the weight 
scared to meet new people- all I do is ponder mistakes 

I’ve yet to seek professional help 
Everyday is a nightmare as long as my mind’s a cell
Convinced I’m undeserving of anything nice
Not a pity party I really might go and end my own life 

You don’t know me- cause I don’t know me myself 
I try to go back to recall if I’m remembering well
I suffer flashbacks until it’s all blurred out

dont belong here

I decided to upload my favorite personal pony project to Soundcloud for you all to stream! Buy the EP and get access to two bonus tracks! Enjoy! :)

Silva Hound ft. Rina-Chan - Hooves Up High

strawberry mentos (2017)

This is for my brother. Thanks for a sick childhood.

Beat: Elijah Thrill - Vitamin Water

the man i want to be

elescator

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