The hedonic treadmill is a psychological concept that says no matter which direction your life goes you adjust to the circumstance and find the same baseline level of happiness. In simpler terms: we aren’t meant to be sad but we aren’t meant to be happy either. Or something like that anyway here’s a song I wrote

“Nobody” live at REDACTED

July 2023 recording
Named song without a name

Song Without A Name Live at Steel City

This time a year ago I started to write a love song for someone I expected I’d be engaged to by this point. It was the first and last love song I’d ever write. When that relationship fell apart so did my job, most of my social life, and the small amount of emotional stability I had left. What followed was a period of hospitalization and outpatient programs and probably the most songwriting I’ve ever done in my life. The instrumental introduction to this song is the same as the introduction to that unfinished love song.

Learn To Be Fine (minisong) live

For when the world is a scary place, and it feels like everything is out to get you. A messy live demo of the fear song (will likely be deleted and replaced with a better recording in the future)

Fear Song demo LIVE from steel city

....... forever piano

....
.....
this song is used instrumental behind an opening spoken word track.
since nobody usually reads these heres the secret lyrics (not sang)

i will wait forever for you darling even if it means that I will wait in vain
I will wait forever for you darling even if it starts driving me insane 
When I’m on my deathbed I’ll just hope you meet me there 
Cause in the very least you’ll let me die in peace that’s fair 

oh i will wait forever darling even if it means I will wait in vain
I will wait forever for you darling even if it starts driving me insane 
so when I’m finally dying tell me you love me not her
Even if your lying I won’t have to know for sure
It doesn’t hurt
Nobody if I’m dying anyway
She doesn’t have to know it’s just 3 words I’m asking you to say 


I will wait forever for you darling even if it means that i will wait in vain 
And I will wait forever for you darling even if it starts driving me insane 
And now I’m finally dying will you please just meet me therei
there’s no use in crying but I don’t think that it’s fair 

Cause I will wait forever for you darling even though I know that I’m waiting in vain
And I will wait forever for you darling even though I know it’s driving me insane

I’ll call you when I’m dying if you promise to be there 
Cause hey just say at least you can pretend that you still care 
It doesn’t hurt nobody
Maybe except for me
I’ve waited half my life for somebody who doesn’t wait for me 



Forever Piano

Daily Affirmations
I Cause all of my own problems
I am my own worst problem
why am I so fucking shitty
but at least im still pretty

Elise Noel

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