This is the song that Madame Buzzard sings to Nemo when he asks what the elixir does and where she got it. 

MADAME BUZZARD
For someone with a big problem, you sure ask a lot of questions.
(MADAME BUZZARD seems about to show NEMO the door, but then thinks better of it, like she’s going to let NEMO in on a big secret. She smiles. O.S. The FUNKY BEAT of a bass. MADAME B sings a short verse.)
Where did I get it?
What the hell is it?
I’ll tell you where and what.
(MADAME BUZZARD snaps her fingers, and a SAXOPHONIST appears, who lets fly a few appropriate wails before Madame B takes up the main theme.)
In ancient times across the sand,
In what we now call Egypt land,
There was a queen who was a sweetie
‘Twas known to all as Nefertiti

Royal princes, dukes, and kings,
Adorned her with gold rings and things.
But listen, boy, she was no looker,
The truth is Venus had forsook her.

(THE BUZZARD-ETTES, a quartet of back-up singers appear on the scene to sing the bridge.)

BUZZARD-ETTES
Teeth kinda jagged,
Hair kinda ragged
Nose kinda hookéd
Eyes kinda crookéd
Venus had forsook her

MADAME BUZZARD
It’s what the books don’t tell ya,
Those kind of looks repel ya.
Poor Nefertiti was friendless,
Her isolation endless.
 (MADAME BUZZARD pauses. She looks at NEMO and seems to have second thoughts about letting NEMO in on the secret, as NEMO waits breathlessly for enlightenment.)
So why did all the ancient hip
Make tracks to Nefertiti’s ship?

Because on her illustrous boat,
Where singers sang and writers wrote,
There lived the queen’s apothecary,
‘Twas kin of mine, good doctor Larry.
Good Larry had the stuff to fix her,
He used his special love elixir!

BUZZARD-ETTES
Ooh, that love elixir:
Pours kinda sticky
Smells kinda icky
Tastes kinda funky
Makes you kinda hunky

(The BUZZARD-ETTES point to NEMO to make sure he gets the message.)

MADAME BUZZARD
What did she have to drive men wild?
Why were the princes so beguiled?
She went to Larry to be fixed,
She drank the drink my cousin mixed!

And who today can make this brew?
I’m standing right in front of you!

(NEMO jumps in, pleading.)

NEMO
Please!
Believe me that I trust in you,
I never was a doubter.
I need your brew, I need the girl,
I cannot live without her.

(MADAME BUZZARD coyly turns her back on NEMO and returns to the Buzzard-ettes for another go at the main theme.)

 
MADAME BUZZARD
Today I am the only one,
Descended from Larry’s only son,
Who makes this recipe for romance, 
And without which you will have no chance.

(MADAME BUZZARD ends looking directly at Nemo. The BUZZARD-ETTES dance out of the room, singing as they go.) 

BUZZARD-ETTES
Without which you will have no chance.
Without which you will have no chance.
Without which you will have no chance.
Without which you will have no chance.

NEMO
Please, Madame Buzzard, help me!

MADAME BUZZARD
It’s very expensive.

In Ancient Times

Elixir is a new musical in development with music by Bert Draesel and words by Frank Gruber. Set among struggling musicians trying to make it big, Elixir tells a powerful love story, one that's all about sacrifice and devotion (and comedy, too).

In Ancient Times

Elixir: A New Musical