In this episode of the Revealed Podcast, Elle Chase and Jemma Rane discuss the concept of the 'growth gap' in relationships, where one partner evolves while the other remains stagnant. They explore the importance of individual growth, the impact of disconnection and resentment, and the necessity of maintaining space and individuality within relationships. The conversation also touches on how to navigate friendships through life changes and the significance of intimacy and pleasure in fostering connection.

ABOUT JEMMA RANE

Jemma is an influential speaker on matters of the heart and a certified coach who has been collaborating with clients from across the globe for nearly 15 years to support their personal and relational growth. She inspires people to develop meaningful connections with themselves and each other while releasing the harmful roles and patterns that disconnect us and lead to passive love and fading spirits.

 

Jemma’s first video on TikTok, in which she discussed the crisis of connection that leads so many women, herself included, to initiate divorce, reached 4.6 million views overnight. Her keen ability to connect with her audience by weaving together her personal story with the knowledge she’s gained coaching individuals and couples authenticates her message and makes her followers feel seen, understood, and supported.



WHERE TO FIND JEMMA RANE

www.jemmaranecoaching.com

TikTok,  Instagram + YouTube: @jemmaranecoaching



SUGGESTED READING:

The Lessons Couples Learn From Living Apart Together - NPRHow Living 
(https://www.npr.org/2025/02/11/1230674450/the-lessons-couples-learn-from-living-apart-together)

Apart Together Is Changing Long-Term Relationships - TIME
(https://time.com/7261972/living-apart-together-relationships-essay/)

The Case for Slow Love - Psychology Today
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202507/the-case-for-slow-love?utm_source=chatgpt.com)

My Partner Isn't the Same Person I Fell in Love With—What It Means and How to Cope - VeryWellMind
(https://www.verywellmind.com/my-partner-isnt-the-same-person-11711364?utm_source=chatgpt.com)


What is Eye Gazing? - Conscious City Guide
(https://consciouscityguide.com/what-is-eye-gazing/)



BOOKS:

Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas
(https://bookshop.org/p/books/urban-tantra-second-edition-sacred-sex-for-the-twenty-first-century-revised-barbara-carrellas/11368155?aid=7172&ean=9780399579684&listref=sex-ed-201-modalities-philosophy-embodiment-more)

The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
(https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-dance-of-intimacy-a-woman-s-guide-to-courageous-acts-of-change-in-key-relationships-harriet-lerner/8863993?ean=9780060916466&next=t)

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
(https://bookshop.org/p/books/mating-in-captivity-unlocking-erotic-intelligence-esther-perel/7385511?ean=9780060753641&next=t)

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
(https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work-a-practical-guide-from-the-country-s-foremost-relationship-expert-john-gottman/11440063?ean=9780553447712&next=t)





THE REVEAL PODCAST WITH ELLE CHASE IS PRODUCED BY:
Jonathan David at Track Cult (https://trackcult.com/) and Emma Chasin at Elle Chase (https://www.ellechase.com/)



WEBSITE: www.ellechase.com/podcast
EMAIL: therevealmail@gmail.com
ALL SOCIAL: @theellechase

Copyright©Elle Chase LLC

Ep. 1 -  The Reveal  Podcast - Jemma Rane

In this episode, Elle Chase explores the concept of eroticism, distinguishing it from mere sexuality. The discussion delves into how eroticism encompasses imagination, creativity, and presence, rather than being confined to sexual acts. The episode features Cyndi Darnell, a clinical sexologist, who shares her expertise on intimacy and desire, emphasizing the importance of personal definitions of eroticism.

takeaways





CYNDI DARNELL:

Cyndi Darnell (she/her) is an internationally acclaimed clinical and somatic sexologist. She’s the author of Sex, When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Rediscovering Desire (Bloomsbury). Originally from Australia, she’s now based in New York City where she runs a global consulting practice. Her work has been featured in global publications like The New York Times, The Washington Post, Forbes, and so many more. A psychotherapist by training, these days Cyndi draws heavily on somatic and Narrative practices to support people navigating relationships and sexual difficulties, plus professional mentorship and case consultations to therapists and coaches worldwide. Her Online Pleasure School offers a rich foundation into the world of somatic sexology and sex coaching. Her podcast The Erotic Philosopher brings guests of diverse backgrounds together to explore issues affecting modern sex and relationships. 

Her numerous academic works are published in Journal of Sexual & Relationship Therapy and Journal of Sex Education among others. Her expert opinion is frequently sought by media outlets worldwide. 



You can find Cyndi at:



WEBSITE: www.cyndidarnell.com 

EMAIL: Cyndi@cyndiDarnell.com

BOOK: https://cyndidarnell.com/book/

IG @cyndi_darnell 

TikTok @cyndi_darnell 

FB @cyndidarnellpage



RESOURCES:



Sex, When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Rediscovering Desire by Cyndi Darnell
(https://cyndidarnell.com/book/)

NY Times: Let’s Talk About Intimacy: Cyndi Darnell, a sex therapist and clinical sexologist, teaches couples how to experience more “pleasure and joy” in their relationships.
(https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/14/style/sex-intimacy-coach.html)

The Erotic Philosopher Podcast
(https://cyndidarnell.com/podcast-the-erotic-philosopher/)

Esther Perel
(https://www.estherperel.com/index.html?1e8cce79_page=18&508ca468_page=6&categories=Eroticism&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21749016432&gbraid=0AAAAA93e13lS8eVi8h7jhFs2xmgfMVjLG&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-4XFBhCBARIsAAdNOkvGwJevc7WHfS4dxS3XsTptu2BLq8ELxJ1bsSqXEt-27HKKCcBIJ8UaAiwhEALw_wcB)

Audre Lorde
(https://alp.org/about/audre)

Feeld
(https://feeld.co/)

THE REVEAL PODCAST WITH ELLE CHASE IS PRODUCED BY:
Jonathan David at Track Cult (https://trackcult.com/) and Emma Chasin at Elle Chase (https://www.ellechase.com/)



WEBSITE: www.ellechase.com/podcast
EMAIL: therevealmail@gmail.com
ALL SOCIAL: @theellechase

Copyright©Elle Chase LLC

Ep. 2 - The Reveal Podcast - EXPLORING THE DEPTHS OF EROTICISM w/ Cyndi Darnell

LOVE. We’re taught to believe it should look a certain way—sweeping gestures, perfect partners, and a happily ever after that fits nicely inside a neat little box. But what if that story isn’t serving us? What if rethinking love—taking it off the pedestal—could actually bring us closer to connection, not further from it?

Culturally, when we mention love for a person we often assume it’s the love between romantic partners, but in reality love lives and expresses itself intimately, personally and uniquely through many different forms. 

So,I thought it might be interesting to dive into what it means to decenter romantic love: to separate love from sex, romance, fantasy, from social scripts, and from the pressure to make it look a certain kind of way. What if, instead of centering our romantic love relationship with a significant other, we recentered it to focus on our friends,family or better yet, ourselves? This conversation is about making space for different kinds of love—And maybe, redefining what it means to love and be loved in a way that fills us. This, is The Reveal.

If this episode stirred something in you, I’d love to hear about it. You can join the conversation at ellechase.com or share your thoughts on the Instagram page @thereveal_podcast with the hashtag #TheRevealPodcast.

And if you want to go deeper into these kinds of questions, make sure you're subscribed. There’s so much more to explore.

Podcast Page: https://www.ellechase.com/podcast
Email: therevealmail@gmail.com
Mailing List: https://www.ellechase.com/mailing-list-sign-up
Instagram: @thereveal_podcast and @theellechase #TheRevealPodcast



GUEST INFORMATION:

Anne Hodder-Shipp, CSE (she/they)  an award-winning certified sex educator and relationship coach dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. They are the lead educator at professional development organization, Everyone Deserves Sex Ed (https://everyonedeservessexed.com/), and in her private practice, she helps teenagers and adults build knowledge and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and communication. Most recently, Anne wrote the highly anticipated love language revamp, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love (https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/the-book), and its accompanying guide, The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Modern Love Languages (https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/the-workbook). 

You can reach Anne at:
Website: https://www.annehoddershipp.com/
Website: https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/
Website: https://everyonedeservessexed.com/
Instagram: @theannehodder
TikTok: @theannehodder

The Book: Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love (https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/the-book)

The Workbook: The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to Languages for Modern Love (https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/shop/workbooks)

THE REVEAL PODCAST WITH ELLE CHASE IS PRODUCED BY:
Jonathan David at Track Cult (https://trackcult.com/) and Emma Chasin at Elle Chase (https://www.ellechase.com/)



WEBSITE: https://www.ellechase.com/podcast
EMAIL: therevealmail@gmail.com
ALL SOCIAL: @theellechase

Copyright©Elle Chase LLC

Elle Chase, CSE

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