just like honey

i'd walk ten thousand miles
just to catch a glimpse of you
i'd climb the steepest mountains
just to knock on your door
i'd swim the deepest oceans,
although i fear what lies beneath

i dont want to prove anything 
i just want to be by your side
the walk on the way feels so lonesome 
but the thought of you keeps me at bay
i'd swim the deepest oceans,
although i fear what lies beneath

beneath

page after page
i wrote you a letter
they'll never reach you
but i want you to know
that you're still on my mind
i still fantasize about a false reality

so where do all of these go?
the lost delusions
oh they swallow me whole
in the park where you smoke
you try to forget 
but i still creep into your bones

day after day
i still feel the same
i dont think I'll change
whats the point of it all?

in the park

you've got curly hair
the bluest eyes
and the sweetest smile
there's nothing i wouldn't do for you
lets dance to some of our favorite tunes
and eat chicken nuggets in bed
oh you make me feel so warm inside

oh honey cant you see
you're all that i want 
it may sound cliche
but my love for you 
will never fade
you'll always be the one i love

you may be far far away
but my heart will always be for you
you don't have to doubt anything
if the distance makes you lonely
just listen to this song i wrote for you
you know I'll always be right here

luv song 4 u

i know there's still a part of me
that longs to bring back all the memories
of your face and your smile
i find it so hard to erase

in the night
i try to close these eyes
but every time i drift to sleep
it only takes me back to you

i cant seem to let go
i'm still stuck in my old ways
but I'll be alright, be alright

stuck in my old ways

i hope life's treating u well. take care.

blabbermouth

all i know is that i love u so
but i'll never try
pulses, my pulse is bounding
i always, always knew that i
was never meant for this
emptiness recedes the pain
and though i know i'll never change
emptiness recedes the pain
i'll always stay the same

all i know

got a message from u
two weeks ago
u asked me how my day went
havent talked in a year
and now you've reappeared
act as though nothing had changed

ooooo
whats gone through ur head
do u think its okay to be that way

snail mail

pacify me
make me feel no pain
pacify me
give me reasons to stay 
kill me with your heart shaped bore riffle
crawl up in my eyes until i cant see

pacify me

my darling ive waited so long to see u again
ive been doing just fine in this big old town
waiting for the phone to ring
ask you how your day has been
are you still waiting home for me
while im away

the further i go, the more i see
how much there is im meant to keep
the world just couldnt stop for me
it seeks to find what u cant bring
confuse yourself with what u want
with what u think u need

the more i see

lonely night
lie awake in my bed
let each day pass by

thinking of you
makes me want to
drown myself in tears

looking back at memories
is something you shouldn't do at this hour
nostalgia is the worst thing of all 
when it comes to you

sleep hush and go sleep
forget what used to be
and throw your worries away

i wrote a lullaby for you

does she treat you better than i did
does she sings you favorite songs
as you fall asleep while you're lying in her arms
i hope she does, I really hope she does

now that you're gone 
i'm finding it hard to sleep
now that you're gone
days seem a little blue

why does it have to end this way
shouldn't we at least have a little chance
but i hope she treats you better 
better than i did
and i hope you're happier with her 
than you were with me

now that you're gone 
i'm finding it hard to sleep
now that you're gone
days seem a little blue

gone

isn't it frustrating
how fastly things could change
in a span of a year

bliss is really nice
but when you were gone
i seem to lose the fight

poetry about you
aggravating yet satisfying
you are a work of art
misleading yet so beautiful

it's harder to leave
when you are the only one on my mind
it's getting darker in this 
shallow heart of mine
isn't it dreadful
how we could have been

we could have been

my sweetheart why are you this way
tried so many things 
just get your attention
trying to impress you when we talk
but i'd always act like a fool
like a fool

i ain't obsessed 
i'm just a little bit crazy about you 
why you gotta be this way
acting like you care when you really don't
just say you don't want me 
make it easier for the both of us
so i don't have to chase you
and you wont have to 
keep running away from me

but for now i'll just drown myself 
with whiskey and cigarettes
and wait for you to bring me in
i'm such a fool

i'm such a fool
why am i such a fool for you 
only you

whiskey and cigarettes

alone in a darkened room
sipping my last cup of tea
covering my head with these sheets
thoughts of you wont let me sleep

tired of losing people a long the way
tired of tossing and turning all day
thinking about what went wrong
and what i could've said 
and what i could've done
unsaid thoughts are the worst of all

people come and go 
nothing stays the same
i know that you won't stay

tired of losing people a long the way
tired of tossing and turning all day
thinking about what went wrong
and what i could've said 
and what i could've done
unsaid thoughts are the worst of all

sleep deprived

please save me from this mess 
i'm finding it hard to breathe
some days i just feel so alone
left with these melancholic thoughts 

so i'll fake a smile 
pretend that everything's fine
people wouldn't notice 
the sadness i hide so well
sorry you're not happy anymore
drive away, up the hill out of here

try to forget what's in your head
but i've reached the peak of my sanity
i'm drowning in here 
i'm screaming but no one could hear

please save me from this mess 
i'm finding it hard to breathe
some days i just feel so alone
left with these melancholic thoughts

melancholic thoughts

i've been staring at the same old walls
scared of walking through distant halls
hey it's your birthday 
but he left you anyway
stomach's been feeling sick
the past few weeks

hazy mornings i just want to rot
daydreams of all the things that have gone
how do you forget of ghosts
when all they ever do is linger in your thoughts

days have passed
and all i ever did was lie to myself
goosebumps on my skin
it makes me think that you are here
this week has just been so rough
wish that i could just sleep it off

hazy mornings i just want to rot
daydreams of all the things that have gone
how do you forget of ghosts
when all they ever do is linger in your thoughts
when all they ever do is linger in your thoughts

hazy mornings

dirty hands are touching my papers
hypocrisy is blatant 
we've been deceived for so long
by people whom we thought were on our side

i've been around for some time
i've seen the changes
i may be young but i'm not foolish

dirty hands stay away from me
don't go acting like you're all holy
i've seen it all, i've seen it now
dirty hands stay away from me

i feel so sorry for the future
seeing how things are becoming
liars and greedy people are ruling the world
now tell me, do you still wanna give birth?

dirty hands

lets run away from here
to distant shores or high above the clouds
incessant somnolence in this mundane routine
take me to a place  where worries are away

i've been sitting here in my bed
voices in my head
whispering words  that could kill me
so darling just take me away from here
dont leave me be with my own thoughts
i could use a little escape

<33

(hi, yes u may use my songs for your vlogs! thanks for listening)

little escape

she just moved in 
across from where i live
i wanna know her name
is it as beautiful as her face?

you probably don't like girls
but i'm willing to change your mind
i don't mean to pry and rush
i just wanna hold your hands

do you like girls?

you feel like you can't get out of bed
there's so much weight on your shoulders
the world seems so cruel
but what can we do?
it has always been this way

but i got you
i don't wanna see you cry at night
and i want you
i'll wipe away your tears 
and bring you close into my arms

isolation and desolation
suffocated and deranged
someday we'll find a way
to get away from this mudane
but for now let's stay this way
holding each other so tight

i got you 
i don't wanna see you cry at night
and i want you
i'll wipe away your tears 
and bring you close into my arms

<3

i got you

Submarine boy is a cool dood :^)
Photo by: renzel ♡

the moon song (w/ submarine boy)

ugotme

when you're with me

i know it takes a lot of time
i know we always change our minds
all the lies we tell ourselves every time
always second guessing and suppressing

even if you say I'm the only one
even if you tell me that I'm yours and you're mine
things will never be the same anymore
because it's not me that you truly adore
no matter how i try, it'll never be enough

lies we say

do you really want me to stay?
or should i just fade away?
all i know, all i know, all i know
is that i'll never be what you need
can't let go,can't let go, can't let go
of this crazy game that we're playing
ohh i'm stuck in this mess, do you even care?
cause it's almost like you're never there while i'm here
please don't put me off anymore, anymore

fade away (w/ kudasai)

i wake up in the morning and i think of u
want to let u know that you're the one i truly adore
but the words just wont come out of my mouth
somethings telling me to say it some other time

maybe if i wait a day or two
id finally have the guts to tell u
i keep writing letters that i couldnt send
oh i just wanna let u know but i cant

<3

some other time?

i apologize for my imperfect singing and my sister's constant coughing

singing some songs

wow it's been awhile! hope you guys are well <3
(listen to me butcher a lovely and iconic song!)

fade into you

baby i'd like to get to know u
but you dont talk that much
and you've got that charm 
that i can't ignore

why is it so hard for me to tell u
that i wanna spend some time
baby i cant seem to decide
if i should do this thing or not

i'm down to do anything that u wanna do
i dont mind, it's not a wasted time with u
all i wanna do, just wanna be with u

ellene

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